


Take Two

by corvidkohai



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BDSM, CONSENSUAL 24/7 Dom/Sub Relationship, M/M, Multi, Post-Advent Children (Compilation of FFVII), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 145,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23980921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvidkohai/pseuds/corvidkohai
Summary: Cloud and Genesis meet because they share an unhealthy coping mechanism: they both fuck to cope. One night in a club turns into a relationship, turns incredibly awkward when Zack Fair and Angeal Hewley, their respective thought-to-be-dead exes, turn up. Any stability they manage to find is scrapped when Sephiroth claws his way back out of the Lifestream, and they have to try and make sense of things all over again.I promise this will eventually be AGSZC, it's just gonna take a while to get there
Relationships: Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos, Zack Fair/Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 402
Kudos: 881





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I thought "what would happen if I did AGSZC but post-AC" and this is what happened

There had been many, many reasons why Cloud moved out of Tifa’s home in Seventh Heaven. Not the least of which was that he was finally doing well enough that she _allowed_ it. After the fiasco with Geostigma and him living in the church to hide it, she’d kept such a close eye on him for a while. He had to prove that he wasn’t trying to move out just to hide from her, and part of that was a promise of frequent visits. But he showed her that he was able to eat every day, multiple times a day, and consistently get out of bed without work forcing him to. Doing things like being the one to get the groceries and clean helped convince her that he was ready to live on his own in a healthy way, instead of squatting on a bedroll in an abandoned building that would haunt him with memories he shouldn’t dwell on.

There had been many, many reasons why Cloud moved out, but the biggest reason was that his newest coping mechanism would be so much _easier_ if he had a place to call his own.

It hadn’t been that long after Advent Day when it all started. He’d been watching the Seventh Heaven patrons, and simply paid more attention one night, seeing more couples than he remembered leaving together, pawing at each other.

And he’d wondered, hell, why not him?

He would have thought there’d be much more to it. All he did was show up alone to a club. He left off the fabric from his hips and his pauldron, leaving him in just simple pants and his tank top. He thought going for something less intimidating and a little more revealing might help the situation. And it was certainly enough.

The man he’d gone home with had become extremely eager at Cloud’s blunt admission that he’d never done this before. He could see from his face and response that he thought that meant he’d only been with women before, not that he meant he was a virgin, but he let the misunderstanding slide. The man had shown him the basics, how to apply what he knew about pleasure to another person, prepared him hastily and fucked him into the mattress.

And something amazing had happened.

For the first time in what felt like _decades_ , Cloud stopped thinking. There was no fighting back memories he didn’t want to consider, no constant stream of thoughts about what he was doing, what he should be doing, what he had just done. There was _nothing_ , just pure and simple white noise, as the pleasure in his veins overwrote everything else. It wasn’t an emotion, per se, but he was able to really _feel_ something, for the first time in years, that didn’t involve the world nearly ending.

He became obsessed with it. That handful of perfect moments where his mind was wiped clean and everything felt _good_ , for once. It was so simple. It was pure, in its own way. Untainted by the messiness of the rest of his life. Not even Sephiroth had been able to white-out his brain this way, no matter how many Jenova-strings he pulled on.

He couldn’t stop chasing it. There was no real risk involved, so he didn’t _think_ he was being self-destructive again. These men couldn’t hurt him—if he could take down Sephiroth, what the hell was a civilian going to do? He couldn’t catch diseases with the amount of mako in his veins, so there was no need to worry about condoms. He just couldn’t see any downsides. There was no suffering involved for once, for _once_ , no risks of injury or disease or death, what did he have to worry about? It brought him a scant few minutes of peace, and that mattered more to him than anything else.

The second he moved out of Seventh Heaven, he was going out every night. It was always a different man he brought home, never the same person twice, and he preferred it that way. He wasn’t looking for emotional connection, or a new person in his life. He had all the friends he needed, and he was only just now getting the hang of keeping in contact with them as much as they liked. He was using these men as much as they were using him, and their strange, symbiotic relationship worked perfectly for him.

He was getting bolder as time went by. He had always been shy as a boy, but it’d worn off more and more as time had passed. It had resurged with a vengeance around the topic of sex, something that was so taboo in Nibelheim, but the more he did it, the easier it was to be bold.

He never expected to be the kind of person content to get on his knees in the corner of a club with nothing to hide him but the low lighting, but here they were.

So when he saw a beautiful stranger with SOLDIER eyes make eye contact with him, he _certainly_ was not about to head home for the night alone.

He’d never been with an ex-SOLDIER. In life in general, he avoided them. They asked uncomfortable questions about why they didn’t recognize him and brought up facts he should know but didn’t. But this would be simpler. No questions asked, just some harmless fun. Besides, he had long since learned from his own… talents, that being mako enhanced changed ones abilities in the bedroom. He was able to get hard again _much_ quicker than unenhanced men, and sometimes didn’t soften at all. He could come more times in a row than they could, and generally had more stamina. The men he brought home left on wobbly legs while Cloud was barely satisfied.

It would be worth the risk of uncomfortable questions, if this stranger could keep up with him.

Cloud turned to set the drink he nursed on the bar. He didn’t need the alcohol, it had no effect on him, but men seemed to be more willing to try and take him home if they saw he’d been drinking and might be more susceptible to their advances. Little did they know he needed no help making a “bad decision.”

The long-haired, red-headed stranger approached and approached and approached, until he was not only close but crowding Cloud back against the bar. Cloud tilted his head and eyed the stranger, reaching behind him to take his ponytail in hand, twirling it idly around his fingers.

“You’re remarkably calm,” the man said, sliding his hands onto Cloud’s hips.

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Most SOLDIERs are a little more surprised, seeing their old CO return from the dead.”

Cloud hummed low in his throat. The man must be a First or something. That explained why his eyes were so bright.

“I’ve seen stranger things.”

When you killed a specific man three separate times, resurrection became old hat.

He wrapped the ponytail around his hand and began tugging on it, drawing the man off to the side. He allowed himself to be led, chuckling lowly, readjusting his hands to stay low on his hips as he followed behind Cloud, bumping his erection against his ass as they walked.

“Where are we going? The exit’s the other direction.”

Cloud’s free hand snuck behind him, coming to cup the man’s hardness.

“Why wait? The bathrooms are closer.”

The SOLDIER made a noise of amusement, right up until they saw the long line outside the bathroom. Cloud paused mid-step, then turned and angled. There was a good spot in this club, mostly hidden by a partition and covered the rest of the way in shadow. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d used it.

“Where now?”

“SOLDIER didn’t teach you the value of creative thinking?”

Cloud got the red-head to his secondary hook-up spot and pushed him back against the wall before dropping to his knees. In a show of enhancements, he got his belt undone and his zipper lowered in a flash. Before either could blink, not only was his cock out, but Cloud had moved to take it all the way down his throat in one swift movement.

“ _Shit_ ,” the man hissed, his hands immediately grabbing Cloud’s hair tightly.

Cloud moaned his approval, grinding his nose against the patch of red hair that proved the man didn’t use dye. He swallowed repeatedly around the length, flicking his tongue as low as he could get it onto the man’s balls. He could feel the hips below his hands jerk up and didn’t fight to keep them in place. When he looked up and made eye contact, he slowly put his hands behind his back and hoped the man would take the hint.

He did. Using his grip on Cloud’s hair, he began fucking into his mouth, rough and hard and fast, trusting by that early display that he could take it. Cloud’s eyes rolled back in pleasure, groaning around his mouthful.

This was not, necessarily, what Genesis had come to the club for. He had come to find someone to fuck or to fuck him, yes, but not necessarily a shady, barely hidden blowjob. But he certainly wasn’t complaining. His blood was zinging in his veins from the risk of being caught, from the way he didn’t have to mind his strength with a fellow SOLDIER, even though he couldn’t recognize the blond. It had been many years, though, and he was certain people had joined after he deserted; they had to replenish the ranks somehow.

There were a thousand things he wanted to say. He had always had a fondness for dirty talk, and the demeaning things he could say about the blond who so willingly sank to his knees in such an open location came to his lips so readily. But he knew those things could offend people, and wouldn’t risk it without discussion first. But though that may be, if tonight went well, they might see each other again, and could have a conversation first? That maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to call the blond his eager little slut and have him moan his approval the way he did just seconds ago had Genesis groaning again himself.

He watched the blond fight with his gag reflex and fail a few times, choking around him. His eyes watered with tears that Genesis meant to brush away kindly but more ended up smearing into his skin. The gesture, that could have so easily been construed as cruel, seemed to egg him on, and the unfamiliar SOLDIER picked up his pace, using every trick that he had. Genesis held onto his hair for dear life, fighting his own instinct to moan

Cloud didn’t much care about sound. The thudding bass would drown out any moans, and he wanted—no, _needed_ to know this man was enjoying himself. He did these senseless hook-ups for his own pleasure, yes, but the sense of fulfillment he got out of them didn’t come from his own orgasm.

The fact was, people depended on Cloud. He had saved the world _twice_ now, and killed the world’s most adept fighter three times. People needed him to keep them safe, and that, he thought he was usually pretty good at delivering.

It was everything else that seemed to slip through his fingers.

It was Tifa who needed a friend and confidante and business partner, when he wasn’t able to even get out of bed. It was Marlene, who wanted his help with homework that he hadn’t gotten far enough in his own schooling to understand. It was Denzel, who look to him and saw a father, only he couldn’t meet those expectations and ran away at the drop of a hat.

When it came to his own life, just being a person, he did nothing but _fail_. Even now, when he was _better_ , when he was fighting tooth and nail to make everything he could out of every moment, to meet the expectations people had of him, he was still _failing_.

This—this was so much simpler.

To the strangers at the bars and clubs, he could be what they wanted him to be. He was already attractive to them, and he had picked up the other skills along the way. He knew how to flirt, now, how to tease and taunt and drive a man wild. He knew a thousand tricks to get a man off, faster than they could blink and so hard they saw stars. He knew how to take multiple partners, in any number of positions, how to make sure he met every need, even if his own were neglected. He could be a perfect wet dream for these strangers. He could be _useful_ to them, and that mattered more than his own pleasure.

The getting off, the not-thinking, the peace the bliss brought, those were all important factors as to why he did this. But to be able to meet the expectations people had of him for once, to _succeed_ , to not _fail_ —Gaia, it was validating. It was _heady_. His own pleasure was a huge, huge bonus. But it _was_ just a bonus. It was what got him into this lifestyle, but the thrill of being what someone needed him to be was what kept him there.

It was what kept him on his knees in clubs, deepthroating strangers in barely-hidden corners until they came down his throat. He used the man’s hips to pull himself as far down as he could get, earning a half-shouted groan, the second he felt him start to come. He swallowed over and over and over again, milking him dry with his throat. When he pulled away slowly, he licked any remnants clean, and then licked his lips as he sat back on his heels.

“What do you say?” Cloud said, his voice rough from the abuse his throat had taken. “Want to come home with me?”

“Goddess, do you have to ask?”

The red-head grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to his feet the second he had put himself away, and Cloud laughed the whole way out the door.

Tomorrow, he would go back to Tifa and Denzel and Marlene, and try once again to be who they needed.

Tonight, he would be who this stranger needed.

At least tonight, he would succeed. And that success would give him the strength to try again tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Cloud and the stranger didn’t exchange numbers at the end of the night. They didn’t even exchange names. The red-head offered some polite goodbyes, without any of the shame people sometimes ran out his door with, and simply walked out into the night. He even offered to show himself out, but Cloud was just barely too polite to allow that, when someone had been polite with him.

The problem was, he couldn’t stop thinking about that SOLDIER. They had been… remarkably compatible, in the bedroom. The man proved to be an attentive lover, seemed to get almost as much from giving to his partner as Cloud did. It resulted in a sort of give and take he wasn’t exactly accustomed to. In fact, the first thing the stranger had done when they got into Cloud’s home was to get on his own knees and return the earlier favor. For once, Cloud wasn’t getting off just because he made sure of it. Usually, if he wanted to come at all, he had to take charge of his pleasure. But this SOLDIER played his body like an expert, and took the time to learn the little gestures Cloud himself didn’t even know he was weak to.

He’d never had such an enjoyable night. He wanted to have it again.

But who knew how often that man went out in general? How often he went to that particular club? Cloud couldn’t be the only one who swapped between a handful of clubs for a wider fishing pool.

And that was where he always cut off this train of thought. Because that had always been a rule of his. Never see anyone twice. If he did, things were liable to get… sticky. Too many people recognized him on sight, especially after Rufus blew up his face with his publicity after Advent Day. His reputation was in the gutter from all the people bragging about fucking him, but no one seemed to believe it was true. He was considered too good, too pure a figure for such a thing. No one took it seriously, but they loved to talk. The people saw him as too wholesome for such activity, but that just made the idea of it so much more taboo. The boy next store with a dirty secret. People loved the idea, despite not being convinced of its truth.

Cloud didn’t give a damn about his reputation, but was glad word had never gotten back to Tifa. People seemed too afraid to be the bearer of bad news and have her instincts jump to the fore; people were in heavy debate if those were “jealous lover” or “older sister” protective instincts. It didn’t matter to him why people didn’t tell her, only that they didn’t. He did _not_ want the lecture that would follow that revelation.

He didn’t care about his celebrity status; he cared about how people treated him. Usually, it was with some degree of respect and distance, until they saw him in the club, drinking alone. When they thought he might be receptive, they were quick to approach. His fame drew them like moths, especially once they realized he would take a submissive role. The idea of the World’s Savior on his knees for them seemed to really work for a lot of men.

His fame was enough to draw them to him, but if he paid them anything more than passing attention? The fame would turn to glue, and they would never leave.

He wasn’t here for romance, or a partnership. He had enough people in his life, and a hard enough time meeting their expectations. All he wanted was to get fucked. Going back to the same partner twice seemed counterintuitive, if he wanted to keep things distant.

But he kept coming back to that redheaded SOLDIER. Gaia, he’d never been fucked like that before. No one had ever been after _Cloud’s_ pleasure that way before.

He was selfish. He wanted it again.

He reminded himself of all the reasons he didn’t go back for seconds. He had no intention of getting attached to anyone new, and certainly did not want someone attached to him. He wasn’t going to see the red-head again. It was better that way.

Except, he found himself returning, again and again, to the club they had met in.

He still went out every night. He still brought someone home with him every time he went out. He was not _waiting_ for that man.

Except when he saw the man across the club, he almost dropped his glass.

The SOLDIER had been watching him, possibly for a while, by the time they made eye contact. Cloud was busy talking to some other stranger, but his flirtatious smile dropped in a heartbeat as he looked over and saw the red-head. The man waved him over and jerked his head to an empty seat next to him.

Before Cloud could think twice, before he consented to his mouth saying anything at all, he was telling the man he was talking to, “Excuse me, I’ve gotta go.”

Cloud tossed back the last of his drink and set the glass down on the counter before making his way over to the booth the SOLDIER was sitting in. Cloud slid in next to him until their thighs pressed together. He moved until one hand was resting on the man’s upper thigh.

“Fancy seeing you here again,” Cloud said, tilting his head. A small, coy smile formed on his lips.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here again so soon,” the stranger said.

“I’m here a lot,” Cloud said, which was only true recently. Before they met, this club was his least frequent haunt. Now he was here every night, waiting for this man to show up again.

“And alone again. For the same reasons?”

“The exact same. And are _you_ here for the same reasons?”

“I am. My name is Genesis, by the way. If we’re to do this twice, I’d like to do introductions at least.”

“Why? I don’t have a little black book to add you to.” Cloud said, a little smirk curling at his lips as he curled his hand closer to Genesis’s inner thigh.

“Because I would like to know _your_ name, at least, even though you somehow didn’t remember mine.”

Cloud blinked and paused his sliding hand. His brow furrowed.

“You don’t know who I am?”

Genesis hummed and said, “I’ve been rather out of touch, the last… while. I haven’t yet caught up on celebrities.”

Cloud’s breath caught in his throat.

Not only was this the first person he actually _wanted_ to fuck twice, but he didn’t know how famous, so he wouldn’t get attached either. This was everything he could have asked for.

Cloud immediately swung his leg over Genesis’s lap, his arms sliding around his neck. He rolled his hips, grinding them together as Genesis groaned, his hands finding Cloud’s hips.

“Give me your PHS,” Cloud demanded.

Genesis looked curious, but pulled it out of the breast pocket of his blazer. Cloud took it and began inputting his number, even as he never stopped the roll of his hips. More than once as he typed, Genesis tried to press his hips up to meet him. It only made Cloud grind down harder.

He handed the device back, and Genesis took it, pausing to read the screen.

“Cloud, is it?”

“That name doesn’t ring any bells?”

“No, and it’s not exactly a common name—I think I would remember it.”

“Gaia, _yes_ ,” Cloud groaned, grabbing Genesis by the hair and dragging him in for a kiss.

He wasn’t sure how long they were there, just kissing and grinding away at each other, before Genesis finally pulled away, sliding them both out of the booth. The second they were both on their feet, Genesis had his hand around his wrist, dragging him through the crowd as Cloud grinned behind him. They tumbled in Cloud’s door when they got there and up his stairs a moment after.

The third time, at least, it was easier to find him. Cloud made the unfortunate mistake of not getting the man’s number himself, so he had to wait for Genesis to contact him, which meant he was back to the clubs in the meantime. Once Genesis texted him for their third meet up, he had his number saved as well. That meant he didn’t have to wait as long for the fourth time; he was not about to sit around and wait for better sex out of a sense of pride. The only reason he waited the scant handful of days that he did was because he didn’t want to drive Genesis off by seeming clingy.

Yet, when he only waited three days to call again, Genesis still seemed eager when he picked up.

The fifth time, Cloud thought he was starting to get used to having the same partner multiple times. The sixth, he was hitting his stride, and they were quickly growing familiar with each other’s bodies. The problem was, that at the end of the seventh, there was this big pause were Genesis tried to get himself to say _something_ and Cloud prayed he’d let it go and leave.

He did, but Cloud couldn’t stop thinking about what he might have been trying to say. Whenever there were these kind of pauses with his previous partners, it was right before they asked for his number at the end of the first night. Cloud always told them no, but he’d already given it to Genesis. He couldn’t imagine what more he could be wanting from Cloud.

Before Cloud could come to any reasonable conclusions, he ran into Genesis in the most unexpected place.

Or maybe it shouldn’t have been. After all, a bar isn’t _that_ far off from a club. But he had never expected to see him in Seventh Heaven, but _certainly_ not before opening hours, and behind the bar no less.

He walked in, and Cloud froze midstep. Genesis paused where he was drying a glass, and then slowly set it down on the counter.

They stared at each other in silence, until Tifa appeared from the back, saying, “Okay, Genesis, do you think you’re ready for shifts on your own soon? You’ve taken to the work so—Cloud, there you are! I was gonna go break down your door if you didn’t turn up soon.”

It finally broke Cloud from his spell. He immediately turned to Tifa, ignoring Genesis and hoping he would get the hint, with a sheepish expression. Tifa paused at the side of the bar.

“Yeah, sorry Teef. Got wrapped up in some motorcycle repairs.”

“Cloud, did you crash your bike again?”

“No? And the last time wasn’t my fault, that Kalm Fang came out of nowhere.”

“Horseshit—nothing sneaks up on you unless you’re distracted, and you wouldn’t have been distracted unless you were in certain parts of the Wastes that you promised me you’d stop going to.”

Cloud frowned and shifted on his feet.

“Why did you think I crashed my bike at all?”

“Because I know you keep that bike in top shape at all times, and there’s only so many times you can change the oil. How did you have so much work to do on that bike that it kept you busy for four days?”

Cloud swallowed. It had been four days since his almost-conversation with the man watching them like a hawk from behind the bar. Cloud very carefully did not look over to him, and hoped he wouldn’t notice the suspicious timing.

“It just—I let some repairs build up, that’s all, I took a break from maintenance.”

“Cloud Strife, I don’t know why you’re lying to me, but I will find out,” Tifa said, pointing at him in promise. “But it’s good you turned up. I should introduce you to our new hire, Genesis.”

She gestured to the redhead, who was still watching Cloud with rapt attention.

“You could have just asked me to come help out, Tifa, you didn’t have to hire someone.”

“Cloud, I’m not going to take advantage of you working for free, and you won’t let me pay you.”

“You don’t have to pay me, I make enough on my own. You should save the gil.”

“You know, Cloud, even when I had you make me that promise, I was thinking about _emergencies_. You don’t have to be my knight in shining armor about everything.”

“I’m not trying to, I just want to help.”

“At your own expense. If you’re working you should be paid, and if not you should be relaxing—Gaia knows you don’t do that enough.”

“Tifa—”

“Either admit that’s what you’re doing or admit this is you being self-deprecating again.”

Cloud felt himself start to turn pink. Genesis looked incredibly curious out of the corner of his eye.

“ _Tifa_ , can we not in front of the new guy?”

She waved dismissively.

“If he’s going to work here, he needs to get the stars out of his eyes about the Savior of the Planet. He won’t gawk at you every time you’re here if he knows you have a few flaws. Unless you’re planning on disappearing again and won’t be around?”

“What? _No_ , Tifa, I’ll be here, just—”

“Because I know the gawking bothers you, Cloud.”

“He just doesn’t seem very starstruck, and maybe you don’t need to wreck his image of me?”

She laughed and said, “Since when do you care about people’s image of you?”

Since he slept with them multiple times and debatably wanted more, apparently.

“I _don’t_ , I just—”

“Do you two know each other or something?”

Cloud tossed his hands up in exasperation, turned, and walked out of the bar.

It was not his wisest maneuver. Neither was going to take Fenrir out for a long, long ride to clear his head, wherein he missed Tifa’s call.

He certainly did not miss her voicemail.

“Cloud Strife, I cannot _believe_ you! Since when are you type of person who goes to clubs to scrounge up hook-ups? Because, last time we talked, you were a _virgin_! Now Genesis is telling stories about what he described as ‘meeting and having semi-public sex’ before a string of booty calls, and I ask my customers and hear you’ve got a _reputation_?

“I knew, I _knew_ you bounced back too quick from Advent Day, I knew you must have replaced your old bad habits with another, but I didn’t think it’d be _this!_ I though it must have been something like over-working yourself, something more or less harmless that I couldn’t notice after you moved out, not _this_. I know you’re physically safe, but this kind of habit can leave scars that aren’t physical. Call me when you’re back, we have to talk about this. If you don’t, I’ll come break in your door. If you try to run, I _will_ call Cid and drag everyone onto the Shera to come find you. You better call.”

Cloud winced at the PHS, but he also knew Tifa was good for her word. He would call her because he knew she was good for her word, but she wouldn’t try to track him down immediately. He had some time.

He wasn’t the only one who should get yelled at today.

Genesis picked up on the second ring, saying, “I’m guessing you got Tifa’s voicemail.”

“You just _had_ to tell her?”

“She’s my _boss_ now, Cloud.” 

“She wouldn’t have fired you over that.”

“How should I know? You are apparently the one who knows her, Cloud. I’ve only been training for a few days.”

“Still, what we do isn’t her business. She didn’t need to know.”

“She seemed to think it was her business. Apparently she takes looking after you very seriously.”

“I don’t need to be looked after.”

“Evidently. How long were you going to wait to tell me you saved the world a handful of times?”

“I did it because it needed to be done, not for the glory. I don’t need another person fawning over me for doing what was necessary.”

“Dear, I’m hardly going to fawn over you. I simply have questions because of who you allegedly saved the world _from_.”

“I don’t talk about Sephiroth.”

“Well, unfortunately, I do. The man I knew would not have done those things. I need to know exactly how much I’m responsible for, and how much I owe you for cleaning up my mess.”

“… Huh? Genesis, none of that makes any sense.”

“You really have no recollection of me, do you?”

“I—I have some memory issues. I don’t remember much of life at Shinra.”

“Then you won’t recall that I was once as close to Sephiroth as you seem to be to Tifa.”

“ _What?_ I thought only Zack was that close.”

“Zack? Zack Fair?”

“Yes, did you know him?”

“I… I did. He’s another party I owe an apology. I don’t suppose you know where he went?”

“He didn’t… make it.”

“I see. Well, then. My point stands. We need to have a proper conversation; our pasts are much more intertwined than we knew, and I believe we both have answers the other needs. “

Cloud sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew Genesis was right, but he didn’t want to dredge up the past, not for anyone. Not when he was starting to move on. But, if he knew _Zack_ , Cloud knew he wouldn’t say no. He missed Zack too much to turn away from any scrap of him, and he thought even just being able to mourn together with someone who knew him might help.

“Alright. I’ll be in touch. I have to go call Tifa before she really does come break my door in.”

“Does she not have a key?”

“She does, but if she breaks the door, I have to fix it. The inconvenience is her way of trying to annoy me into listening to her.”

“It doesn’t seem to be working.”

“It’s less annoying now that I started just keeping spare hinges in the house.”

Genesis chuckled and said, “Go call her, then. Before you waste any spare hinges.”

“Just to be clear, I’m still mad at you for telling her.”

“Yes, I thought as much. Perhaps you’ll forgive me when I give you some answers, hmm?”

“Maybe. Bye, Genesis.”

“Goodbye, Cloud.”

Cloud hung up, and stared at his PHS. It was only with infinite reluctance that he called Tifa.

She only seemed to get angrier when he couldn’t fully focus on her lecture about self-respect and self-care, too busy trying to decipher what Genesis might have to tell him.


	3. Chapter 3

Cloud… was not proud of his handling of the situation.

He knew he had to have a fairly big conversation with Genesis. He had no idea what in the world the man could possibly have to tell _him_ , but he knew what he would have to cover himself.

He liked to think he was okay with confrontation. You couldn’t fight a man like Sephiroth as many times as he had and not be, was what he told himself. He carefully put aside the fact that he was scared shitless before and during every single fight. He even more carefully put aside the fact that any time he caught a whiff of a “big talk” from his friends, he always had a “surprise delivery” that took him through the wilderness for days that he somehow “couldn’t anticipate the length of.” Tifa had long since learned that if she wanted to have any such talks, she had to spring them on him with as little warning as possible, and block the exits when she started them.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t so good at confrontation.

That said, he didn’t call Genesis back. And that was odd, considering four days was the longest they had been apart since they had exchanged PHS numbers. If they were just going to fuck, that would be fine, and Cloud would happily jump back into bed with the man. But he knew that, even if the man promised him a fling with no heavy conversations, it would be a trap. Tifa had tried to bribe him too many times just to trick him for him to fall for it again.

So he didn’t stop by Seventh Heaven, not knowing when Genesis might be working, and met up with Tifa and the kids at the church instead. If she knew he was avoiding Genesis, she was likely chalking it up to being mad at him for snitching.

In the meantime, his favorite habit didn’t just fall by the wayside. Tifa’s lecture was not enough to turn him from his path, and he had made do with strangers before Genesis for long enough, he could do it again. He went back to the clubs—he just pointedly avoided the one where he met Genesis.

Much as he avoided the man’s calls, voicemails, and texts.

He scrolled through them, though, as he was waiting for someone to approach him at the club he was in.

_Genesis:_ You can’t possibly still be mad at me.

_Genesis:_ Tifa insists that you don’t hold grudges without extreme cause, and assures me that this is not what she means by extreme cause.

_Genesis:_ You cannot ignore me forever, Cloud Strife.

_Genesis:_ Must I break in your door, as Tifa does?

_Genesis:_ I do remember where you live, you know.

_Genesis:_ If this were just about sex, I would let this drop, no matter how good you are in bed. But this is about something much, much more important to me, Cloud. I don’t think you understand how much I need the truth that you hold.

_Genesis:_ I will not beg you. But I will demand my answers. You can run however long you want, but there will come a time where my patience runs too thin to bear this game any longer.

_Genesis:_ We’re fast approaching that point. Do not force my hand.

_Genesis:_ This is your final warning.

Cloud frowned down at the device. He’d gotten the text four hours ago, with no word since. Of course, he hadn’t answered, and had no intention to. But the words were ominous. He didn’t want to get into a fight with Genesis, for a lot of reasons. Not the least of which was that, he was renting the townhome he was in, and he didn’t think his landlord would let it slide if he busted the building, no matter how much hero worship the man had for him. He remembered the last fight with Sephiroth, thank you, and he didn’t need a repeat, with parts of his home flying the way bits of Shinra Tower had on Advent Day.

“What’s someone as gorgeous as you doing here all by yourself?”

Cloud let his eyes flicker up from his PHS to the stranger. There was a beat where he could tell he frightened the man. His face was the usual stoic mask it was in when he wasn’t playing pretend for strange men, and with his eyes glowing bright in the dark, no expression on his face, he knew he painted a picture that civilians had nightmares of now. So he forced his features to soften, the edges of his eyes going warm, a sweet smile curling at his lips. It was open, and warm, and inviting. It was many things that Cloud was not, and hadn’t been for a long time. He was sure that if Cid or Yuffie caught that look on his face, they’d laugh at him for years.

But he could watch the sudden tension bleed out of the man in front of him, his own grin coming to his face. Civilians didn’t _want_ the real him, with his blunt edges and the way he buried any emotion deep, deep down on instinct these days. They wanted that boy next door figure, the image that was more Zack than it had ever been Cloud, the sweet, selfless hero who would always put his life on the line for others.

It wasn’t him, but for a night, he could pretend that it was.

Cloud slipped his PHS away and began the usual song and dance. He looked up through his eyelashes, he smiled coyly, he let the man lean much too far into his personal space. Cloud touched his arm, laid his hands on his chest, toyed with his hand before putting it on his own waist. It wasn’t long before they were heading out of the club together, the man’s hand buried in Cloud’s back pocket, kneading every so often at his ass.

Cloud let himself be pulled along, tucked into this man’s side, giving directions to his home but allowing the other to lead. It was all going perfectly according to plan.

Right up until they reached his door.

“Uhm, Cloud?” He’d never introduced himself, but he wasn’t surprised the stranger knew his name. “Who’s that?”

Genesis looked up from where he was leaning against the front door, his arms folded over his chest. His eyes bored into Cloud’s, who scowled back at him.

“No one who should be here right now,” Cloud said, knowing Genesis’s sensitive hearing would pick it up. He didn’t visibly respond to the words.

“Is he… he’s an ex-SOLDIER, isn’t he? Maybe I should go.”

The man started to pull away, but Cloud grabbed his arm before he could get far, despite the fact that his eyes never left Genesis.

“No, you should stay. He was just leaving.”

“I will be doing no such thing,” Genesis said, not budging an inch from the door. “Cloud, tell your toy he won’t be needed.”

“You don’t get to make that call.”

Genesis turned his coldest glare to the stranger and let a smile laced with warning curl on his lips.

“Run along, now.”

The man yanked his arm, and Cloud had to either let go or hurt him. There was really only one option. The man fled down the street.

Cloud crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring Genesis.

“You have no right.”

“No, _you_ have no right to deny me my answers. I don’t care if you are the hero and I am the villain; it is my story, as much as it is yours, and I ought to know the ending.”

Cloud scoffed and marched up to the door. He was glad Genesis slid out of the way, or he would have shoulder-checked him to the side. He opened the door and stomped into his home.

“I don’t even know what the hell that’s supposed to mean. This wasn’t how I wanted my night to go.”

“If you had answered me sooner, you would know what it means, and you would have gotten to end your night however you would have liked. This could have been avoided.”

“Yeah, if you could have just _waited_.”

“I waited long enough.”

Genesis grabbed Cloud’s arm as he made his way further into the townhome. He began hauling him toward the kitchen table, and Cloud could only roll his eyes as he followed. They sat across from each other.

“I want to know everything,” Genesis demanded.

Cloud sighed and looked away. He ran his hand through his hair, tousling it in an old gesture he had stolen from Zack and never been able to shake.

“It’s not pretty.”

“I don’t care about pretty, I care about the truth.”

Cloud shifted his eyes back to Genesis in a glare.

“The second I see pity on your face, I will pick you up bodily and throw you out of this house, your answers be damned. That’s the one thing I don’t tolerate.”

“Luckily for us both, I am not a man inclined toward pity.”

Cloud paused, trying to read the truth of that statement on his face. When Genesis just arched an eyebrow, Cloud blew out a hard breath. He ruffled his hair, dropped his hand, and then repeated the gesture. Shit. He forced his hand into his lap. He couldn’t rely on Zack’s mannerisms to get him through this conversation, not around a man who had known Zack himself. Besides, if he let himself down that rabbit hole, who knew how far he’d fall?

“I don’t know where to start,” Cloud admitted, drumming his fingers nervously on the table.

“You said you have memory problems. Start at whatever point is clearest.”

Cloud winced, knowing full well what point that was. His hand stilled, pressed flat to the surface. He slid his palm over the table as he pulled his hand back before dropping it into his lap again. He stared down at the wooden surface, refusing to meet Genesis’s eyes.

“What do you know about the town called Nibelheim?”

“I… have been there before. Briefly. I do not know much.”

“It’s where I’m from. Tifa and I. Tifa helped jog my memory, so I remember it better than I do my time at Shinra. I won’t bore you with the details of a small town, but the important part was, I swore up and down to anyone who would listen that I would be a SOLDIER one day. That I’d be just like Sephiroth.” Cloud made a sound that was half-scoff, half-amusement. “Life can grant your wishes in the worst ways sometimes.”

“Cloud?”

“Anyway. I ran off on my own to Midgar, took the SOLDIER exam, and failed. I was a trooper. Somewhere along the line, I met Zack Fair. We were… close.” No need for Genesis to know exactly how close—that could stay between him and Zack’s ghost. “I remember it all in flashes more than anything solid. I couldn’t tell you how long I knew him for, only that he meant the world to me.

“He liked me enough to get me put on this mission that would take me back to my hometown. I didn’t want to go home, didn’t want anyone to know I’d failed the SOLDIER cut, but I still idolized Sephiroth in those days, and he was going. It was just Zack, Sephiroth, me, and a few other troopers. We were supposed to go check the reactor there. Tifa was actually our guide up the mountain—it got her roped into the whole thing. Zack and Sephiroth went inside to check the reactor while another trooper and I stood guard.

“Something happened in the reactor, I don’t know what. Sephiroth came out, and he buried himself in the library in the Shinra Manor back in Nibelheim the second he could. Wouldn’t come out for days. Zack and I were so worried, Zack kept trying to get him to come out, but nothing worked. He was reading these old files that were supposed to cover what was done to him as a child. I—you said you knew him, right? Did he ever tell you anything, about how he grew up?”

Genesis’s face grew hard as he nodded.

“Yes, unfortunately I am very aware of how Hojo treated him.”

Cloud nodded and said, “The files went over the experiments, but they were planted by Hojo, and full of false information. They were put there to destabilize him, but no one knew that at the time—I only found out years later. They told him that his mother was Jenova, and that she was a Cetra. That made him heir to the Planet, in his head. Humanity had betrayed Jenova and were ruining the world. He wanted to reunite with her and wipe out humanity together in an act of vengeance. His scheme got wilder later, but I’m pretty sure that’s how it started.

“He decided to start by razing Nibelheim. Killed the whole town, burned it to ash. Zack and I chased him up to the reactor, where Jenova was stored. Tifa managed to make it up there after him, but he ran her through. I have my theories, but I still couldn’t tell you for sure why he left her alive—and don’t ask her about it, you’ll just piss her off. While I was checking on Tifa, Zack confronted him. By the time I got there, Zack had already lost the fight. He gave me the Buster Sword and told me to finish it. Short version: Sephiroth was cocky and distracted with Jenova, so I got a lucky hit in. There was a scuffle while he was weak, but I managed to toss him and Jenova’s head, that he was holding, into the mako below.”

“You _what?_ You were a trooper!”

“Like I said, it was mostly luck. He was off-kilter, barely there, and by the time I showed up, he was too focused on Jenova to care about anything else.”

“What _was_ Jenova? I always thought she was his mother? That’s what he told me.”

“She’s a parasite. The Cetra called her the Calamity from the Skies. She fell to Gaia centuries ago. Shinra thought she was an Ancient because the body they dug up _was_ originally one. She had taken an Ancient as her host, but her cells overwrite what they come in contact with. She’s always trying to make more of herself, to infect and then pull those pieces back together to perfect the host. It’s called Reunion.”

Genesis fell strangely quiet. The information seemed to mean more to him than Cloud thought it would, but he shrugged it off and continued. This was starting to get easier as he went, the information spilling from him like water from a pitcher. He could feel his mind grow distant, fuzzy. Images of Nibelheim on fire, of the reactor, of Jenova on her pedestal, kept flashing before his eyes. His mouth plowed on without his assistance.

“Sephiroth did a number on Zack and I. Hojo collected us, wanted to start a new project. For four years, we were his lab rats. He was trying to turn us into Sephiroth clones. The process didn’t take with Zack—he already had inert J-cells in him from the SOLDIER enhancement project, and they reacted with the live ones. Zack was only recreation to him for most of the time we were in the labs. I was the focus. The J-cells and S-cells took with me—took well. I was just too susceptible to the mako. The balance between the cells and the mako was off, and it left me an unstable specimen. A failed experiment.”

“… Cloud?”

Genesis watched Cloud closely. His eyes were foggy, and only getting foggier as he spoke. He was drifting further and further away—going deeper into himself. Genesis knew trauma after the War, knew it intimately and from many angles, and he knew flashbacks when he saw them. He should have known that whatever story Cloud was going to tell would have led down this road, but how was he to guess at secrets like _these?_

He wanted to call it off. He wanted to do his best to snap Cloud out of it and tell him to drop it. But he _needed_ answers. He _had_ to know what happened to Sephiroth. It was a war between his practicality and his sense of morality, and once he put it in those terms, the answer was clear. He’d always been willing to do what needed to be done. It didn’t have to be pretty, and he didn’t have to be proud that he did it, but sometimes, results needed to happen. He needed the answers Cloud had, and he understood now that Cloud would have to pay the price for it. It was selfish of him to do this, but it was necessary.

All he could do now, was make it up to Cloud when they were done. With the answers he could provide, and by taking care of him to the best of his ability. He was about to put this man through hell for selfish reasons—taking care of the aftermath was the least he could do.

Cloud continued on as if he hadn’t spoken.

“Eventually, Zack broke us out. We spent a year on the run, being hunted by Shinra. I was comatose with mako poisoning—I only know it was a year from Shinra records Rufus gave me later, when he owed me too much to tell me no. We were caught eventually, on a cliff outside Midgar, in the Wastes. Zack put me to the side somewhere safe, when the platoon of troopers caught us. He faced the lot of them down, but there were too many. They left him there bleeding out, and thought I was too far gone to be worth the bullet, when there was no way I’d come out of mako poisoning that deep.

“Zack died. I woke up just in time to watch it happen. He gave me Buster, and I took it and went to Midgar. But it was too much for me, my brain couldn’t stand the weight of what happened. I blocked out the truth, told myself that _I_ was the First Class on the Nibelheim mission with Sephiroth, that there was no Zack Fair. I pretended to be him for a long time.

“I met Tifa in Midgar. She got me to join AVALANCHE as mercenary. I—…”

Cloud shook his head sharply. His eyes seemed to focus. He shook his head again, pinched his eyes shut for a long moment, and then looked up at Genesis like he had forgotten he was there. He then looked sheepish.

Genesis was amazed he fought his way back to awareness on his own at all.

“Sorry, I thought—I figured you’d want to know the details about Sephiroth and Zack, since you knew them. I’ll gloss over the rest.”

“You can tell me the rest another time. I don’t want to overburden you.”

“Nah. I’m sure it’d bore you.”

Genesis was certain that Cloud Strife would _never_ manage to bore him.

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

Cloud shook his head again and said, “Anyway, I teamed up with AVALANCHE. We were fighting against Shinra, blowing up reactors and the like, until Sephiroth came back from the dead. He killed President Shinra and then took off. I convinced AVALANCHE that he was the bigger threat, and we chased him around the Planet. Little did I realize that I was just following the call of Reunion, and Sephiroth was leading me by the nose the whole time. Failed or not, the experiments made me susceptible to the call of Reunion like the other clones.”

“Other clones?”

“There were more. They were little more than shambling zombies, no will of their own, just vessels for Sephiroth’s consciousness to possess. Puppets,” Cloud said, with a wry twist of the lips.

“It’s always clones, isn’t it?” Genesis mumbled, rubbing at his brow.

“What?” Cloud asked, his brow furrowing.

“Nothing. Continue.”

“Right,” Cloud said hesitantly. “Well, his goal was this Black Materia. I got it, planning on keeping it safe from him, but he got me to give it over.”

“ _How_?”

Cloud winced visibly. He turned his gaze to the side. He owed Genesis the truth about what happened to Zack and Sephiroth but—well, his own suffering was an extraneous detail he did _not_ owe.

“It’s irrelevant. I gave it to him, and he used it to summon Meteor. Other stuff happened along the way. Tifa got me to snap out of Zack’s persona, we took down the rampaging protectors of the Planet.”

“The _what_?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with Sephiroth, other than the fact that he got them to awaken. What _does_ matter, is that he killed one of our friends. She _was_ an Ancient—the last one, which is what Sephiroth thought _he_ was. He killed her, but she used her sacrifice to activate the White Materia, Holy. That was what saved the Planet, really, not me. It broke apart Meteor the second Sephiroth was out of the way. Without his will to bolster it, it was just a big rock. _She_ should be the one everyone calls Savior. All I did was kill a man that fancied himself a god.”

“Why did he summon a meteor at _all_?”

“He, uh. Well. He wanted to create a big enough wound in the Planet that the Lifestream would flood to it, to try and heal it. His plan was to, uh. Absorb the Lifestream to become a god, then use the husk of the Planet as a ‘vessel to sail the cosmos,’ I think was how he put it?”

“Goddess,” Genesis muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, he was a little melodramatic after Nibelheim. Anyway, we thought that was it, and it was for a while. Until Geostigma and the Remnants.”

“Until what?”

“Geostigma was a disease. It had a high fatality rate. The Remnants were… I’m not even fully sure. Scraps of Sephiroth that escaped the Lifestream, I think. They ran around causing havoc until they tracked down Jenova’s head, which Rufus kept around instead of burning to ash because he’s an _idiot_ and I’m sure had some scheme for it, though I still can’t get him to admit to that. One of the remnants absorbed the head and turned into Sephiroth. We fought, again. I won. That Cetra friend of ours made this water that cured Geostigma. That’s the last I’ve seen of Sephiroth since.”

“It all sounds so… fantastical, when you say it so bluntly.”

Cloud shrugged and said, “I’m not going to wax poetic about it. Neither of us will like what happens if I let myself get that deep into the memories.”

Genesis looked up at Cloud, surprised he admitted to the obvious truth. He just shrugged again.

Cloud shook out his hands, that had been in tense fists in his lap.

“Okay,” he said. “So that’s the sob story of Sephiroth, and how it relates to Zack and I. Now spill.”

Genesis sighed, not sure where to begin himself.

“Do you remember a man named Angeal Hewley?”

“Can’t say that I do, but with my memory, that doesn’t mean much.”

“He was my—” _lover_ “—childhood best friend, and fellow SOLDIER First. He, Sephiroth, and I were incredibly close. One day, we were sparring, as we often did. Sephiroth managed to land a hit, and though it was nothing terrible, it wouldn’t heal. This began the process of degradation for me. Are you familiar with it?”

“I… can’t say that I am.”

“It’s related to Jenova. Like Sephiroth, Angeal and myself were experiments, only under Hollander instead of Hojo, as a part of Project G. Project Gillian was named for Angeal’s mother, who was injected with Jenova cells. Angeal received them naturally through the womb, and I was implanted with her cells. It was thought that J-cells being put through the medium of a human host before introduced to a child would stabilize them. This was not the case. The J-cells were stable for a time, but caused Angeal and I to eventually degrade, though I began the process first.

“It took me time to piece together this information. There was a whole host of mistakes that I made. I defected, taking many SOLDIERs with me, turning them into my own copies. It didn’t require anything like what you went through—any introduction of my cells was enough to do it, an ability which is a hallmark of Project G specimens. I got Angeal to join me. Zack, his protégé, fought us. He tried to get us to see reason—as did Sephiroth, at first. But once Angeal left, and it was clear I wasn’t going to ask him to join us, he was hurt.

“The three of us had always been a trio. We abandoned him. I wasn’t in my right mind at all; unstable, bitter, enraged, unable to think through the desperation to live. Angeal—I don’t know if his mind was in as bad a state as mine. He may have just followed out of loyalty to me. All I know is that, in the end, it was too much for him. As we degraded, we mutated. Grew wings. He saw himself as a monster, and forced Zack to put him down like one.”

“You mean he—”

“Yes. The Buster Sword was originally his. He passed it to Zack when he strong-armed Zack into killing him.”

Cloud popped up from his chair and began to pace the room.

“It gets worse, Cloud,” Genesis said quietly. “If you need a break—”

“Tell me.”

“I was there. At Nibelheim. When Zack and Sephiroth went into the reactor without you, I was waiting for them. I asked for Sephiroth’s help—I thought that whatever process Hojo had used to introduce the J-cells to him _had_ made him stable. I thought that his cells would stabilize me and stop the degradation. I see now that he later had the mental degradation, if not the physical, but I didn’t know at the time. When he turned me down, I taunted him. I think that was what pushed him into seeking out those files.”

Cloud’s voice sounded dead and numb when he said, “How are you here, then? Why haven’t you degraded to death?”

“The gift of the Goddess. She healed me.”

Cloud paused in his pacing and looked at him skeptically. Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Stranger things had happened.

“So let me get this straight. All of this, everything that happened, could have been avoided, if you and Angeal didn’t abandon Sephiroth and then kick him while he was down?”

Genesis stared back at him unflinchingly. They both knew there was more to it than that. Cloud knew full and painfully well how much decision making could be impacted by J-cells, be it through Sephiroth’s manipulation or degradation. He of all people was in no position to judge what another man did when he wasn’t sound of mind.

Genesis didn’t know that, though. Cloud had conveniently skipped that detail. All he heard was blame, and he didn’t find it misplaced.

“Yes.”

Cloud barked a laugh. Then he laughed again, long and hard, his shoulders shaking in what would have been a very rare show of mirth, if it didn’t sound so hysterical.

Genesis watched the display in silence.

When Cloud’s laughter wound down, rubbing amused tears from his eyes, he waved at Genesis.

“Stand up.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Stand up.”

Genesis, ready to be punched in the face and not finding himself undeserving, stood readily.

Cloud marched over. He stared at Genesis long and hard. And then, instead of winding his fist back and clocking him across the jaw, he leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you. I think I needed to know, as much as I didn’t want to hear it.”

Genesis touched his cheek where Cloud had kissed him, watching him with wide eyes.

“… But—”

“I don’t hold you responsible. I can’t—not if your head wasn’t screwed on straight at the time. I can’t blame you when you weren’t in control of yourself. This is just another one of Shinra’s sins. But,” Cloud said, stepping away, “this is a lot to take in. Knowing that everything that happened could have been avoided… it’s a lot. I’m going to be… pretty pissed, for a pretty long time, but the guilty parties are already dead. So I’m gonna go take my bike out for a while. Probably go Zolom hunting to blow off some steam. You won’t hear from me for a few days, probably. I’ll let Tifa know so she doesn’t freak out when I’m gone. But I’ll let you know when I’m back, okay?”

“You are…” Genesis stared down at Cloud, marveling. “Like a rock. How are you taking this so well? Why are you being so _logical_ about it all?”

Cloud shook his head and said, “If you had told me almost any other story, I would have kicked your ass. But it just—I don’t have it in me, to hate you for something you couldn’t control. I… know a little too well, how hard Jenova can make it to think straight sometimes. But I don’t think I have it in me to tell you anything more right now. I’m gonna go, okay?”

Genesis softened. It had been his plan to take care of Cloud in the aftermath, to be there to support him. But it seemed he needed distance. He remembered that Sephiroth used to be that way, especially after visits to the lab. He had to be alone to piece enough of himself back together to have a foundation, before he allowed anyone else to help. It was familiar enough that he recognized that Cloud was doing the same.

Genesis nodded and, for the first time, took Cloud’s hand simply in his. Cloud’s eyes widened, looking between Genesis and their hands, but when Genesis just ignored the reaction and started walking, Cloud softened and followed.

They kissed once, chastely, after Cloud had locked the door. Genesis began walking down the street toward his own home as Cloud got onto his bike. When he roared past on it, it was with one hand waved in farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you were reading the CC summary and thought "huh, that doesn't seem quite right" then you are probably correct! I haven't actually played the game since it came out and had to read a summary to make sure the details were as accurate as they are, but who knows what I missed or messed up. my memory is also god awful in general, so if the OG bits don't look quite right either, well, there's a reason I write a lot of AUs
> 
> I'm just gonna be honest and say I'm not gonna go and rewatch a playthrough of CC and watch/play OG to make sure the details are right, I'm much more interested in using that time to continue to write and explore what will happen with this story. That being said, from here on out, I'm going to be treating what I wrote here as the facts for this story, so there will be consistency within the piece. if y'all could give me a little leniency and creative license, I'd really appreciate it <3


	4. Chapter 4

Cloud hadn’t lied when he said he was going to be pissed off about what he had heard for a pretty long time. Usually, it didn’t take him very long to bounce back from set-backs anymore. A few days racing at break-neck speeds through the Wastes, tearing through Zoloms that were the most difficult enemy he could find on short notice, and he was good to go. It settled him enough that, with maybe a day or two of sulking in the church, he was back to normal.

But with nothing to listen to but the whistling winds of the Wastes, it was hard not to stew on it. He hadn’t lied to Genesis when he said he didn’t hold him responsible. If Aerith could forgive him for nearly killing her, he could forgive Genesis for what he did. It wasn’t his fault, it was Shinra’s greed at work again. But Hojo was dead, Hollander was dead, President Shinra was dead. There was no one left for him to take his anger out on.

And this was a dangerous place for him to be in. This wasn’t the first time his impotent rage for Shinra left him without a target. He knew too much about Jenova, what she could turn a person into, what the _labs_ could turn a person into, to fully blame Sephiroth for what he became. Every time he grew furious over what had transpired, it had come back to Shinra. It had taken him a long time working with a very fine-toothed comb to tease apart the facts, to understand who was really at blame, but it was almost worse this way. He didn’t blame Sephiroth any longer, but it left him without someone to hate who might come back. The President was dead, and he wasn’t someone Cloud could kill twice. Sometimes he even regretted letting Vincent have the final blow on Hojo, no matter how much he deserved it, just because it left him without somewhere to put his own anger.

Every time this had happened in the past, he had just swallowed down his anger. He wasn’t willing to put the weight of his emotions on anyone else, no matter how willing Tifa would have been to hear him rave about people she, too, hated. He didn’t want her to know that he wasn’t as over it as he pretended.

The problem was, when he forced down the anger for too long, it twisted. Became malformed. He started aiming all that fury at himself, for not having been able to stop it all. He had been _right there_ for so much of it, and strong enough in the end to put a stop to it eventually, so why couldn’t he have ended it sooner, before things got so out of control? It kicked off his worse habits. Denying himself food and water, because he didn’t feel he deserved it. Letting hygiene fall by the wayside because he didn’t deserve to feel comfortable in his skin. Staying in bed, staring at the ceiling for hours, because maybe if he didn’t interact with anyone or anything, he wouldn’t fuck up again.

Cloud had sworn off those habits with Advent Day. If Tifa got wind that he was back at them, she’d drag him back to living in Seventh Heaven, and he didn’t want to burden her again. No, he _knew_ what he would turn to now once that anger went sour, and he didn’t relish seeing how far he would go before he saw sense. He didn’t think there was anything _wrong_ with his usual method of coping, per se, but he didn’t doubt that he would get out of control.

He worked double time in the Wastes, absolutely decimating the Zolom population. He worked his way through the Mythril Mines and back, just to lay waste to any monster he came across. But he was running out of time, and his anger wasn’t abating. He’d have to go home soon, or he’d start to worry everyone.

After a week in the wilderness, he called it. He wasn’t going to find some way out of his rage this way. He didn’t want what he knew was going to come next, but it was time to just get it over with. The sooner he let himself go on the incoming bender, the sooner he could get out of it.

All he could taste was bitterness on his tongue as he wheeled Fenrir into the enclosed space behind his townhome and locked it, entering through the back. He let Tifa know he was back but then spent a much, much longer time trying to decide what to do about Genesis, whom he’d also promised to let know when he got home.

A part of him wanted to get Genesis to come over. He wanted that SOLDIER stamina, wanted him to fuck him for hours until he couldn’t think straight and he forgot, for just a moment, the red-hot coal of anger in his chest.

He couldn’t. He didn’t want to drag Genesis into his problems. He especially didn’t think he deserved the way Genesis focused so much on his pleasure.

What he wanted, right now, was to be used. For men with no interest in him, aiming to fuck his prettiness and his title, to take advantage of him. He wanted to be useful for something, _anything_ , since it seemed to him right now that all he ever managed to do was fuck up.

He typed his text to Genesis in a flurry before he ran upstairs, put on the tight, dark jeans and sheer, clingy tank top he only ever wore to the club when he wanted to be all but dragged somewhere to get fucked, and ran out his front door.

_Cloud:_ I’m back. I still need some time to think. I’ll probably see you around Seventh Heaven, but I think I need some space. Sorry.

In the club, Cloud was throwing back drinks like they were water, desperately trying to get drunk even though he had done this before and _knew_ they would have no effect. It didn’t take long before someone saw how he was drinking, what he was wearing, who he was, and approached.

He didn’t bother bringing the man home. He didn’t bother with the bathrooms. He found the darkest corner and let the man shove him face-first against the wall, tearing his pants down to his thighs.

Cloud let himself get lost in the haze of it all. He didn’t bother getting himself off, and the constant need helped his brain get fuzzier. The thrill of serving some sort of purpose, of being _good_ at something for once, was making him feel better than the useless drinking ever had. He finished with one partner and found another. He lost track of how many he went through that night. He didn’t need or want to know. All he remembered was waking up the next morning, his sheets smelling like sex and a stranger from when he apparently brought _someone_ home, was that his ass somehow, miraculously, still _ached_ —which said something, given his enhancements.

He went to Seventh Heaven that day. Genesis wasn’t working, and the kids were at school, so Cloud helped Tifa get ready for the evening rush. She wouldn’t stop watching him, and he knew she could tell something was off. He spent all day waiting for her to finally figure out what she wanted to say about it.

“Genesis told me what he told you,” she said eventually. Cloud froze in the middle of sweeping. “Said I deserved to know too. Cloud, I know you’re hurting—you’ve got a bad look in your eye. Do you want to stay here, for a few days?”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” he bit, taking a harsh tone he rarely took with anyone—only really her, because he trusted her enough, that she wouldn’t hold a moment’s anger against him.

“I know you don’t. I just think being alone all the time, stuck in your head, might not be a great idea right now.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Cloud—”

“I’ll be _fine_.”

Tifa sighed, clearly irritated, but let it drop.

She continued to let it drop, for the next week. She eyed him carefully, knowingly, every time he came to the bar to help, but she never said a word.

Genesis, similarly, never said a word. He was polite when addressed, but didn’t poke or prod. He didn’t approach Cloud, didn’t text him after his brief message in reply to Cloud’s last that said nothing more than, “I understand.”

Genesis wasn’t sure he had the right to interfere. For all the Cloud didn’t blame him, he blamed himself. He felt a sense of responsibility about this, knowing how much of it was his fault, but being the guilty party, he wasn’t sure it was his place to step in. So, instead he watched, and he waited.

He just went a bit further than Tifa did.

He was able to piece together a few more things than she was. After all, he was very, intimately familiar with rage. He knew well how it could turn to self-loathing. He knew that whatever Cloud was feeling at the moment had no target he found sensible, and that left him with only one, admittedly insensible, target: himself. He didn’t know Cloud’s sordid history with various forms of self-destruction, but he could guess at his current path.

Cloud sought sex with Genesis often. They had met because Genesis picked him up at a club. He found him again at that club, alone and looking for a partner, when he didn’t have his number. He had a reputation for sleeping around.

Most importantly, Genesis recognized that Cloud was using sex as coping mechanism because he did so himself.

Given, he didn’t seem to rely on it as often as Cloud did, from his reputation. Genesis, when he wasn’t trying to get a blond ex-SOLDIER he had just met and didn’t even know the name of out of his head, didn’t go out looking for a partner more than once a month. It was something for his worst moods, not a constant itch. He had no idea how often Cloud was going out, but that reputation of his was telling.

He knew where he was likely to turn, how he was likely to cope. He knew that his first attempt at coping, at piecing himself together again in private, had failed, the second he had gotten that first text when Cloud returned.

He had let Cloud run off on his own because he remembered Sephiroth needing time in private to try and work through things on his own. But he also remembered that, sometimes, giving Sephiroth space had turned into letting Sephiroth wallow on his own, not trying to make progress, but simply sitting in the misery. He had learned the hard way that, when things turned that way, Genesis had to barge in and drag Sephiroth kicking and screaming into self-care.

From watching the way Tifa looked at Cloud at the bar, all longing and frustration, it was clear she wasn’t going to step in.

Which meant he had to.

He understood that, by the bounds of their relationship as it stood, he was going much too far. He just didn’t care. When he turned up at his door, night after night, trying to get him to let him in, only to find the townhome empty, he was starting to gather that it was worse than he feared. When he tried the club they had met at, and found Cloud very clearly there, he didn’t like what he saw. He watched silently, keeping his distance, as Cloud burned through partner after partner before finally picking someone to bring home at three in the morning.

The tactician in him said that he should watch more, gather more intel, be sure that this was the pattern before he took any further steps. The part of him that cared for Cloud, deeper than he probably should, was too infuriated to wait.

The next night, when Cloud stepped out his door in another skin-tight outfit, it was to find Genesis waiting for him on his front step, sitting there and watching the road.

“Going out again, are we?”

There was a long pause, before Cloud locked his door and made his way down the steps, past Genesis. Only Genesis stood and followed him.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Well, you won’t let it be anyone else’s business, so it appears it will be mine.”

“It’s not your problem, Genesis.”

“So you admit it’s a problem.”

Cloud was silent for a long moment, his lips pursed together.

“Go home.”

“Not without you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Genesis. I get that you feel guilty, but that doesn’t mean you have to fix me.”

“You aren’t broken. Just in need of a better way to cope.”

Cloud glanced at him sidelong.

“And you have one?”

“I’ve been where you are, Cloud, I’ve made these mistakes in the past. I only know what helped get me out of it, but I’d like to offer you my solution.”

Cloud slowly came to a stop. Genesis stopped with him, watching quietly.

Eventually, Cloud turned around, and made his way back to the home. They didn’t speak again until they were both seated at his kitchen table, where they’d had their last fateful talk.

“Well? What’s your cure?”

“It’s not a cure, it’s just a different way to cope. I don’t promise that it will be the answer for you. I only know that it was for me.”

“Just spit it out, Genesis.”

“You’re already using sex to cope. There are… other ways of going about it, that might help.”

“Such as?”

“Are you familiar with BDSM?”

Cloud frowned and folded his arms, “I’ve heard about it, some. I don’t think this is really the headspace where I should be hitting or being hit.”

“I understand the concern, and it doesn’t have to be about the pain. There are a thousand ways to go about this, many of which have nothing to do with anyone being struck, but there’s a specific reason I bring this up. Control can be a key aspect.”

Cloud’s mind immediately flashed to Sephiroth. The Black Materia. Swinging his blade an inch from Aerith. His jaw tightened.

“Not being able to say no isn’t something I will _ever_ agree to.”

“You misunderstand. The whole point is that you can say no, at any time.”

Cloud’s brow furrowed. His face softened.

“Then what does control have to do with it?”

Genesis leaned forward, his elbows on the table.

“When I was where you are, it was when I had first come to consciousness after everything I had told you. Meteorfall and Advent Day had already happened, but I didn’t know that. All I could remember was my mistakes. I dwelled on them. Hated myself for what I had done to those I cared about. I was going out every night to find someone to fuck me, because if I was getting someone else off, I was doing something good for someone else. I was serving someone else’s aims, and no one was getting hurt. I had experience with BDSM from an old relationship, and sought it out, thinking to use the pain to punish myself. My previous experience meant that I was particular about who I would let dominate me—I knew what to look for.

“Being useful to those strangers in clubs helped because it was proof that I didn’t have to hurt anyone. Because I was afraid that was all I could do. I didn’t trust myself to make the correct decision anymore. I thought that, if I had control, I would just hurt more people. So giving in and serving someone else, even if it was just a quick blowjob in a club bathroom, felt good. Their only goal was to get off, and that was one I didn’t mind serving. But serving someone else’s goal was the heart of the matter.

“When I engaged in BDSM again, I voluntarily yielded my control to someone else. I let him make every decision, did what he wanted, served someone else willingly. I let someone else guide me, if only for a night. There were precautions in place, ways for me to say no, to end things or even slow them down if I became uncomfortable. Handing someone else the reins for a time made it easier to pick them back up again. I had chosen someone who didn’t lead me astray, and that led me to trust my judgement, at least in something small.

“I still don’t trust myself completely. I’m not trying to sell this to you as some cure-all. Your issues won’t go away overnight. But giving up control, letting yourself take a rest from the decision-making that can be so terrifying, just for a spell, might leave you more recharged to try again tomorrow.”

Cloud looked down at the tabletop. He let the silence hang for a long, long time, and Genesis didn’t push it. Cloud needed time to think, and he was more than willing to let him have however long he needed.

“How did you go about picking someone? I don’t have that experience you did. I don’t know what to look for.”

“If you trust me enough to allow me, I would be happy to do this myself. If you’d rather pick someone else, I can explain to you what to look for and what to avoid. I can even help vet someone for you.”

Cloud seemed to sag with relief at his initial offer, but peeked up at him.

“I thought you wanted to give up control? Would you be comfortable taking it from me?”

“I’m a switch, dear. I’m comfortable in either role. Submitting is just what I need when I’m in that particular headspace.”

Cloud tousled his hair and blew out a slow breath.

“I… I need to think about it. There’s—some stuff it might drag up.”

“Again, you don’t have to choose me, but you should bring up anything that might trigger you to your dominant. They can’t avoid what they don’t know about.”

“No, I—I don’t trust a stranger with this, and I don’t trust myself to pick them. Are you—sure you’d be okay with it?”

“Dearest, it would be my honor.”

“I—” Cloud pulled in a sharp breath that hitched in his chest. “Sephiroth could… control me. Make me do things against my will. That was how he got the Black Materia from me. There were other… instances, but—yeah. I don’t think being helpless is a good idea for me, but letting someone else make decisions when I can say no is… I just need a way out.”

Genesis reached across the table and took Cloud’s hand.

“Thank you for telling me. I will be as careful not to set that feeling off as I can. I will check in with you from time to time, to make sure that you’re still feeling safe.”

“I—thanks. I think that would help.”

“Before we actually do anything, there will be a negotiation. Of things you’re interested in and not interested in, things you refuse to do, setting safewords. But we will do that if you decide this is the path you want. In the meantime, why don’t we go watch a movie, hmm?”

Cloud blinked, saying, “A movie?”

“I understand that it won’t be as distracting as what you were planning on for tonight, but it will be better than nothing. We’ll sit quietly, I will promise not to interrogate you about your feelings, and you’ll have company that actually cares about you.”

Cloud paused, but shrugged and stood, leading the way back to the living room he rarely used, with the television that was only as nice as it was because it had been a gift from Reeve. He’d offered it to him when the WRO was upgrading and planning on throwing it out anyway.

“I’m warning you, I don’t have a movie collection.”

“That’s fine, LOVELESS is up on a streaming service. Do you know LOVELESS?”

“I’ve heard of it, never seen or read it. Is it good?”

Genesis sighed happily, touching his shirt above his heart.

“Darling, I could swoon.”

Cloud laughed, for the first time in what felt like forever, and said, “Did you seriously just call me ‘darling?’”

“Why? Do you enjoy it, or object?”

“It’s just funny—it’s been ages since I met something I couldn’t kill, and you’re calling me darling.”

“The endearment has nothing to do with how skilled you are with a blade.” 

“Sure, I mean, it’s just—I dunno. Cute.”

“I hate to break it to you, Cloud, but you _are_ cute.”

“I am not! I killed Sephiroth! Three times!”

“And I’m sure you were cute while doing it.”

“We’re gonna poll around Seventh Heaven, next time we’re both there. No one’s going to agree that I’m cute.”

“Darling, you’re going to lose that poll.”

When Cloud got the television turned on during their conversation, he was promptly pulled down to the couch by Genesis’s strong hands and settled at his side. Genesis wound one arm around his shoulders and held him close. Cloud blushed and fumbled with the remote as he tried to pull up the streaming service Genesis named, which he did not have an account for. Genesis snatched the remote from his hands and began signing in with his own account.

As Cloud settled into his side, the moment caught up with him.

No one had held him like this since Zack, all those years ago. None of the men he fucked got close enough to dare—because Cloud didn’t let them in that far. But here Genesis was, allowed much, much closer than he had ever planned on, and it all felt as natural as breathing. It was infinitely _comfortable_ to snuggle closer into his side, and Genesis only tightened his hold around his shoulders in encouragement.

No, this wasn’t the wild night out of fucking in every corner of a club before dragging someone home with him. This was someone being brutally honest and vulnerable with him, before offering to help him in the best way he knew how (a way that seemed to hold promise that it might work), and then settling down for a strangely domestic night of… cuddling. He didn’t even cuddle with _Tifa_.

It was strange. It was bizarre. It was just fucking _weird_.

He thought he might like it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's your disclaimer that this is just a fanfic, I'm not saying that BDSM should be used as a replacement for fucking to cope, I'm just saying it makes sense in this context for these characters, I'm not a therapist and can't give you real life advice, etc., etc., I'm sure you guys get the point


	5. Chapter 5

“ _ Relax.” _

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“You weren’t this tense when you first brought me home. There’s no reason to be now.”

“I knew what I was getting into, then.”

“We just spent over an hour negotiating, Cloud. You know what you’re getting into.”

“I know the gist, but not the details. Knowing to say ‘red’ to get you to stop doesn’t mean I know what I’m in for.”

“Unless you follow some sort of script when you sleep with someone, you never know the details,” Genesis argued, putting his hands on Cloud’s shoulders from where he was standing behind him. They had been in the process of undressing, but Cloud had long since finished, and was just standing around, fiddling with the fabric of his shirt. “Everything will be fine, Cloud. Do you trust me?”

Cloud felt himself go tense, and knew Genesis could feel it too. He dropped the shirt for something to do. 

“That’s a loaded question, considering our histories.”

“Yet I ask it anyway. I don’t need your implicit trust, with your life and all your secrets, just with this. Do you trust me to take care of you, to make sure this is pleasant, and that you come to no harm?”

Cloud paused, ducking his head. It felt almost wrong, how simple that phrasing made things, how certain he was of his answer. He was not someone who trusted easily, and hadn’t been for a long time. 

“Yeah.”

Genesis pressed a kiss to the back of Cloud’s neck. 

“Just remember that. Hold on to that. If you start to panic, the way I know I do at times when I’m making my own decisions and I don’t know how they will turn out, remember that feeling. When you’re unsure, remember that you trust me with this. And if that uncertainty becomes surety that something is  _ wrong _ , that I am trying to take you somewhere you don’t want to go, remember that I would infinitely prefer you stop me than indulge me at cost to yourself. Tonight is about  _ you.  _ Do you understand?”

“I think so.”

“You think so?”

“I mean—yes.”

Genesis kissed the side of his neck this time. 

“Good. Then I’m going to begin, if that’s alright?”

“Yes.”

“You’re certain you’re ready?”

“Get on with it, Genesis.”

“If we’re beginning, then that’s not how you address me. You remember the rules we agreed to?”

Cloud blew out a hard breath. He nodded. 

“I remember, sir. Please begin.”

They had tossed around many forms of address before settling on what they did. They agreed that the familiar, militaristic moniker would be easiest on them both. Cloud was used to addressing people he answered to that way, and Genesis was used to people calling him that before carrying out his orders. It would be the most natural, while still separating them from the way they usually spoke to each other. Cloud would have enough to adjust to without having to wrap his mind around terms like “daddy” or “master.”

“Turn around.”

The stubbornness in Cloud balked. He hadn’t followed orders since he was a cadet. He had quickly become the leader of AVALANCHE, and not even Rufus told him what to do now. If someone wanted him to do something, they asked nicely. Tifa gave him marching orders, but with the open understanding that he would only listen if he wanted to. There was not a soul left who could force him to do something he didn’t want to, and after Sephiroth, that’s how he liked it. 

He had to carefully remind himself that that was what this was about. That he was choosing to listen. That he was following orders not because he was helpless, but because he was agreeing to give someone else that control over him. 

This first order was a simple test. Genesis was holding his hand out, demanding the reins, and now Cloud had to decide if he really wanted to hand them over. 

He blew out a slow, measured breath, and then turned around in Genesis’s arms to face him. 

When he did, Genesis’s face softened. With one hand still on his shoulder, the other stroked his cheek. 

“Good boy, Cloud.”

_ “Good boy, Cloud _ ,” Sephiroth’s ghost echoed from deep in his memory. 

“Yellow,” Cloud blurted, their safeword to indicate a pause. 

In a flash, Genesis had his arms pulled away. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Just—not that phrase? I still want to do this, but Sephiroth—“

“Say no more. Do you want to continue?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it alright if I use only the word ‘good?’ Praise will likely help.”

“That’s fine.”

Genesis reached out, loudly telegraphing his movements to give Cloud a chance to protest, and carded a hand through his hair. He repeated the motion, over and over again, his nails scritching against Cloud’s scalp. The gentle motion relaxed him more with each pass. 

Slowly, carefully, Genesis made a fist in his hair. Cloud’s lungs stilled, and he had to carefully remind himself to breathe. It didn’t hurt, the grip just felt tight. Genesis watched him closely and paused, so Cloud nodded the fraction of an inch that grip allowed. Genesis nodded back, and then began walking, forcing Cloud to backpedal. He played along, stepping back until his knees hit the mattress, and with Genesis guiding him, sank down to sit on the bedspread. 

“Up by the headboard.”

Genesis released his hair, and Cloud crawled his way up the bed, before sitting with his back against the pillows. Genesis settled at the foot of the bed, his legs crossed, watching Cloud closely. 

“Show me how you get yourself off when you’re alone, Cloud.”

Cloud’s head tilted—he had agreed to be called a whole slew of names. He had been looking forward to Genesis calling him a slut or a whore; he’d always loved it when his partners risked doing that. 

Genesis had very carefully made the decision to ignore the list of names Cloud had agreed to. Tonight wasn’t about fun, necessarily, or indulging fantasies. This was about healing, about coping. Cloud needed to be himself to do that, and the names might have allowed him to distance himself from what was happening. No, Genesis needed him  _ here _ , as himself and no one else. 

He didn’t explain this, though. If Cloud knew too much about what was happening, he might over-analyze it, and that could work against what Genesis was trying to do. 

So, bewildered, Cloud tilted his head, but did as he was told. He brought his knees to his chest and spread them, allowing one hand to drift between his legs. He put on his best flirty look, and began touching himself teasingly, putting on a show for Genesis. 

Until the man clicked his tongue impatiently. 

“What did I tell you to do, Cloud?”

“... Get myself off?”

“Is that how you address me?”

“You told me to get myself off, sir.”

“I told you to show me how you get yourself off when you’re  _ alone _ . I did not tell you to put on a show for me.”

“But—“

“No buts. You’re to do as you’re told, how you’re told to do it. Try again.”

Cloud frowned. This wasn’t how he was used to doing things. He was used to teasing, to seducing his way into getting what he wanted. That was how he got his way in the bedroom. 

Then he remembered that that was, very distinctly, not what tonight was about. It wasn’t about him getting what he wanted. It was about letting someone else make the decisions, and that included not teasing them into wanting what he wanted, not getting them to decide on their own to do what he would have decided for them. 

Cloud accepted the reminder, and tried again. 

He began going about this how he did when he was the only one in the bedroom. He liked it hard and fast, rough enough to border on pain. He didn’t waste time with teasing, the way he certainly did when he had a partner. He felt his breath quickly going ragged as he stared at Genesis staring at him. 

“Can you—can you look somewhere else?” he asked, but when Genesis’s eyes cut to his to look at him sharply, he added, “Sir.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable, to be watched?”

“A little, sir. If you’re not going to—do anything.”

“If you want to safeword, Cloud, you know what to say.”

“I’m not safewording, sir.”

“Then no,” Genesis said, propping his elbow on his knee and his chin on his palm. “You’re going to experience pleasure with a partner present, enjoying your pleasure but taking none for himself.”

Cloud chewed at his bottom lip. That wasn’t something he had done before. For all of his experience in the bedroom, it had never gone quite like this. 

“Sir, I—“

“Shh, Cloud. Focus on the feeling.”

Cloud did just that. The moment stretched, and Cloud lost track of time. Every time his eyes closed, Genesis prompted him to look at him, but otherwise, he was allowed to lose himself in the pleasure. The only requirement seemed to be that he didn’t forget he wasn’t alone. 

Until finally, he was on the edge, his body displaying all his telltale signs that Genesis was long-since familiar with. 

“Stop.”

For a moment, Cloud very seriously considered ignoring Genesis. He was so  _ close _ . Instead, he let his hand fall to the bedspread and his head against the headboard, groaning. 

Genesis shifted, making his way up the mattress. He settled in beside Cloud, looping an arm around his shoulders. 

“Very good, Cloud.”

“Respectfully, sir, fuck you.”

Genesis chuckled, saying, “If we continue doing this after tonight, do not expect me to always let you get away with that kind of talk.”

“I said ‘respectfully’ and ‘sir.’”

“Yes, but the point stands that the words ‘fuck you’ are a beginner’s privilege. Of course, you can say them at any time, as long as you accept the consequences.”

“Consequences?”

“That’s for another time, dear. What is your color right now?”

“Green.”

“Good,” Genesis said, stroking a hand up and down Cloud’s arm. “Then, now that you’ve cooled down some, I want you to try again.”

Cloud squinted up at him, saying, “How many times are you going to have me do that, sir?”

Genesis gave him a wolf’s smile, but the kiss he buried in his hair was soft. 

“However many times I feel is necessary.”

Cloud sighed, but began again, this time with the movement of his hand liberally smoothed with precum. 

They did this over, and over again. Genesis let Cloud bring himself to the edge before instructing him to stop, with his desperation ratcheting up another degree each time. After the third time, Cloud had reached for Genesis’s own hardness, just to have his hand knocked away and be told to behave. After the fifth, Cloud tried to climb into Genesis’s lap, only to be held in place by the arm around his shoulder and instructed to sit still. Cloud lost track of what the count was now, his face buried in Genesis’s shoulder, his hand shaking with need, as he finally broke down and did the one thing he hated. 

He begged. 

He never liked the inherent helplessness involved in begging, didn’t like the feeling of weakness that came with it. With other partners, he teased them into giving him what he wanted, so he never had to resort to it. But in the haze of such need, it was easier. When he knew he could just safeword, end the games, and get what he wanted, it didn’t feel helpless. There were ways around it, but he didn’t want to take those routes. He wanted what they were doing. He wanted to play by the rules, but still get what he wanted. He wanted to behave, to be good for Genesis, he just also wanted to come. And it seemed the only way to do that was to ask nicely, because demanding or tricking was out of the question. This was how to get what he wanted while still doing what he was told, and that made it shockingly easy to get the words out. 

“Please, sir,  _ please _ let me come.”

“I don’t know, Cloud. Do you think you’ve earned it?”

“I’ve been good for you, sir, I’ll do whatever you ask after, but  _ please _ let me come.”

“Is that really as needy as you can sound?”

“ _ Please, sir _ !” This time, it couldn’t be described as anything but a whine. 

Genesis kissed his temple and said, “Go on, then. Come for me.”

Cloud’s free hand grabbed Genesis by the knee for something to hold onto, his face burying further into his shoulder. It only took a few more strokes before Cloud was following the command with a cry, and then shivering through the aftershocks. 

In the fog of finally having his release, Cloud didn’t realize what was happening. It all happened so fast. It seemed like one second he was orgasming, curled into Genesis’s side, and the next, the man had pulled his hand away, and was kneeling between his legs, swallowing down his cock. 

Cloud yelped at the sudden sensation as the over-sensitivity set in. His hands flew to Genesis’s hair, gripping it tightly as he curled forward around him, his knees coming toward his chest. Carefully, Genesis pushed him by the shoulder to lean back, before guiding his legs back to where they were. Cloud brought his hands up to cover his face as he shivered and moaned. 

Genesis pulled away just long enough to say, “Remember, safeword if you need it,” before proving to Cloud that he was just as good at deepthroating as Cloud himself was. 

He just  _ had _ to phrase it that way. When he said it like that, it sounded like a challenge, and it prickled at every stubborn bone in Cloud’s body. He cursed sharply and let his head fall back against the headboard again. 

Genesis seemed to either be making up for the lost time when he’d edged Cloud, or trying to prove how good he could be with his mouth. He worked Cloud through orgasm after orgasm, testing even his SOLDIER stamina. He didn’t seem to want to let up, and Cloud was sure his jaw was aching by now. He didn’t want to ask Genesis to stop, not after he’d begged for the first orgasm, not after that challenge. He told himself every time Genesis made it clear he was aiming to make him come once again that  _ surely _ this one would be the last. 

His nerves felt like they were on fire. He was glad he lived alone, because he was certain he’d be disturbing anyone who lived with him by being so loud he was going hoarse. He couldn’t stop squirming and writhing, his hands fluttering around, his legs constantly moving, though Genesis held his hips firmly in place. It felt so good it hurt, but it wasn’t until Cloud felt tears streaming down his face that he finally decided his pride wasn’t worth it. 

“Please stop, sir, please, it’s too much!”

Genesis pulled away, tilting his head as he looked up at Cloud. 

“What was that?”

As he opened his mouth to answer, Genesis slowly licked from the base to the tip of his cock, and the breath he pulled in shuddered more for every centimeter his tongue slid. 

“ _ Please _ ,” Cloud whimpered, not caring how pathetic he sounded. “I can’t take any more, sir.”

“Very well,” Genesis said agreeably, pressing a brief kiss to Cloud’s inner thigh. He returned to where he had been sitting before and gathered Cloud into his arms, brushing the tears away before allowing him to hide his face in Genesis’s neck. 

Cloud straddled his lap, very aware of Genesis’s erection pressed against him, but resolved to do something about that after he had caught his breath. 

Genesis simply held him, his cheek pressed to Cloud’s hair. One hand ran soothingly up and down his back as Cloud tried to stop the shivers that occasionally ran through him. Genesis hummed some song Cloud wasn’t familiar with under his breath. 

When his breath evened out, and Cloud was fighting with the now bone-deep tiredness to try and get himself to move, Genesis said, “How do you feel, dearest?”

“Mm,” Cloud hummed sleepily. “So good. Tired. More relaxed than I remember ever being. I don’t wanna move.”

Genesis chuckled fondly, his fingers sliding through Cloud’s hair. 

“You don’t have to.”

“But you haven’t—“

“And I don’t intend to. Tonight was about you.”

It was enough to motivate Cloud into leaning back and looking at him with a sleepy scowl. Genesis calmly raised an eyebrow. 

“But I want to.”

“Perhaps. But my only interest tonight is taking care of you.”

It was a testament to how tired he was after who-knew how many orgasms that he allowed himself to show his annoyance by visibly bristling. It was the kind of reaction he buried around everyone but Tifa. 

“I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“Everyone needs to be taken care of, Cloud, that’s part of being human.”

“But—“

“I don’t care what you’ve done or who you’ve killed. You may well be the pinnacle of human achievement, but you are still  _ human _ .”

Cloud was tired, and wanted nothing more than to curl back up against Genesis and fall asleep, but instead he started climbing out of his lap. Until Genesis grabbed him by the hips and held him in place. 

“ _ Cloud _ , after what we just did, I need you to allow me to do this.”

Cloud narrowed his eyes. He folded his arms over his chest and scowled. 

“Why?”

“Aftercare is a crucial part of the process. If we skip it, there are a whole host of issues you’ll face. It’s called subdrop, and it’s extremely unpleasant, let me assure you. I’ve done what you’re doing, refused to let someone take care of me after allowing them to put me in a very vulnerable position, and I’ve paid the price for it. You trusted me enough to allow me to take control from you tonight. It is my responsibility to see you through it safely. I cannot do what I’ve done and then abandon you, no matter how much you insist that’s what you want.”

“I’m not your  _ responsibility _ , Genesis.”

“You are for tonight. Tomorrow, you can tell me to go to hell, if you’d like, and I swear I will mind my own business. But for now, please don’t ask me to watch you make my old mistakes. Tonight was supposed to help you, but I fear it will do more harm than good, if you don’t allow me to do this.”

Cloud had half a mind to insist. He was certain he could break Genesis’s grip on his hips and get out of this bed. He could kick him out—hell, he could carry him out bodily and dump him in the street naked if it came to it. But the concern was clear in Genesis’s eyes, and he almost looked afraid. Cloud sighed and tousled his hair. 

“What do we have to do?”

“Not much at all,” Genesis said. He moved slowly, as he had earlier, giving Cloud time to kick up a fuss if he wanted to. When he didn’t, Genesis maneuvered them so they were lying down, Cloud curled against Genesis’s chest, their legs entwined together and Genesis’s arm around his waist. He kissed Cloud’s forehead, and Cloud sighed. If this was all it was, that wasn’t so bad. He yawned and ducked his head, pressing his forehead against Genesis’s collarbone. He let his eyes drift shut. 

“You did very well tonight, Cloud.”

Cloud scoffed, but nuzzled closer. 

“You wouldn’t let me do anything.”

“Nonsense. You said ‘yellow’ when you needed to, and I’m very proud of you for that. You listened perfectly, once you let yourself go. You follow rules excellently.”

Cloud felt his cheeks burn at the praise, and was glad his face was hidden against Genesis’s chest. 

“You did the hard part.”

“There are very, very many people who would not have been able to put themselves in the position you did tonight. You were very brave.”

“There’s nothing brave about jerking off and getting your dick sucked.”

“You are deliberately ignoring the fine points of what happened to dismiss your accomplishment.”

“I just don’t think it’s a big deal.”

“You’re new to this. Believe me when I say you just displayed a huge amount of trust, and that I am honored to have received it. You may think it’s a small thing, but I do not.”

“If you say so,” Cloud mumbled. 

Genesis kissed his hair and said, “I’m proud of you, Cloud.”

Cloud scoffed, because he didn’t know how to graciously accept that comment, but made no other reply. When it became clear Genesis had said his piece, Cloud shut his eyes again, and let the exhaustion overtake him. 

As he drifted off, he allowed himself a small smile, hidden as it was from Genesis’s view. 

Okay, maybe the sentiment of Genesis’s last comment meant more to him than he would admit while fully awake. 


	6. Chapter 6

“… Cloud, I think that glass is clean.”

Cloud blinked and looked over at Tifa, who was watching him with confused amusement. He looked down at his hands to the glass he was cleaning, which was sparkling. He wondered how long he’d been scrubbing at it. Knowing Tifa, it must have been a while, because she would have found it funny to see how long he’d work at it without realizing. He scowled and rinsed the suds off his hands and the glass, tucking it into the drying rack.

“Don’t even think about making the ‘head in the clouds’ joke.”

She grinned and said, “Why bother—it’s better when you make it yourself.” She turned to Genesis, who was at the far end of the bar, wiping down the wood. “I swear, he’s rarely this distracted.”

Genesis looked incredibly smug when he glanced over at Cloud, who scowled when they made eye contact and looked down into the sink for something to busy his hands with. It was, unfortunately, empty now.

“I wonder what the cause could be,” Genesis drawled.

Cloud saw from the corner of his eye how Tifa looked between him and Genesis in confusion as he picked up a handtowel and started drying the glasses in the rack.

“Wait, did you do this?” she asked Genesis. “Did you just—I don’t know, fuck him real good?”

Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, “ _Tifa_ ,” as Genesis snickered.

“What? C’mon, Cloud, I know you too well to think you’re the one topping.”

Cloud covered his eyes with one damp hand.

“I’d be happy to let him, if he seemed so inclined,” Genesis offered.

“ _Please_ , if you want him to top, you’re going to have to ask him for it. I may not have let people give me too many details about the rumors, but I don’t need them to know Cloud is happier on his metaphorical back.”

“Can we _please_ just drop it?” Cloud grumbled, going back to drying the glass and pointedly looking at neither of them.

“As soon as you confirm that you’ve been busy daydreaming about good sex the past few days. You’ve had this little smile on your face the whole time, and if it’s _not_ about the sex, I want to know what it is, so I can repeat it myself.”

“What’s it matter?” he huffed, more to be contrary than because he didn’t see her point.

“Cloud Strife, after the amount of time I’ve spent trying to get you out of a bad place with every trick I can think of, I think I ought to know if there’s some secret to it that I’ve missed. You were in a rut since you and Genesis talked, then you show up one day good as new. Just spacey and smiley, which is _not_ your normal. So spill.”

Genesis had stopped wiping the counter, and was watching Cloud, allowing him to decide how much to divulge to Tifa. Cloud’s hands paused in the process of drying the glass.

“It was… it was Genesis,” he said, then shook his head, put the now dry glass in the cabinet, and picked up another. “It was a bedroom thing. You can send me his way next time I get my head up my ass.”

Tifa slung an arm around his shoulder and said, “‘Bedroom thing.’ We’re not in Nibelheim, anymore, Cloud. You can say he just fucked you really good.”

Cloud _knew_ she was only saying it to make his cheeks burn, but he couldn’t fight down the blush. He elbowed her lightly in the side.

“I just don’t like talking like that.”

“You don’t like talking like that with _her_ ,” Genesis corrected, wiping down the bar again.

“ _Oh?_ I sense a story,” Tifa said, a shit-eating grin on her face.

Cloud huffed and said, “What I say when I’m… not thinking normally doesn’t count.”

“Whatever you say, dearest,” Genesis hummed.

“‘ _Dearest_?’” Tifa asked, looking back at Genesis, who just raised a calm eyebrow at her.

“He calls me that all the time,” Cloud admitted easily, before thinking about it more carefully. He looked up at Tifa, his brow furrowed. “Doesn’t he say that to everyone?”

“‘Dear,’ yes. ‘Dearest,’ no,” Tifa clarified.

Cloud leaned around her to look at Genesis, who just shrugged and sprayed the counter to continue wiping.

“I’ve known Cloud longer than I’ve known you, Tifa, and our _extracurricular activities_ are quite different.”

“So you only say that to people you fuck.”

“I’ve been known to say it to people I bring to the bedroom multiple times.”

Cloud narrowed his eyes as Tifa hummed in understanding. He was more proficient in Genesis-double-speak than she was. He noticed that it led to one conclusion, but pointedly didn’t deny that there might be feelings involved.

They all naturally went back to their closing tasks, with the bar’s night done, now that the silence had stretched far enough. It allowed Cloud to think.

Because he hadn’t told Tifa the complete truth. Part of what he spent so much time thinking about was, certainly, the sex. He’d never had a night in the bedroom go anywhere near like that, on so many levels.

Handing over control had felt _wonderful_. It was a release so much greater than an orgasm. It was like all the stress he had been carrying around suddenly vanished. He was excited to try again, in a lower stakes situation. What would it be like, when they weren’t tip-toeing quite so much around it being his first attempt and his heavy emotions? Genesis had said the night was about _him_ , but he wondered what it would be like if it was just about the fun of it. He wanted to find out.

Beyond that, he’d never had a night with a man where he’d been the only one to orgasm. He worked so hard, constantly chasing another person’s climax, that it was strange to think Genesis hadn’t come at all that night. It was strange to not only be the only one experiencing pleasure, but to feel so _much_ of it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d allowed someone to put in so much work for his sake, for no one’s benefit but his own. He was certain he wouldn’t have allowed it, if he had known the specifics of what Genesis had been planning. He would have haggled to be allowed to at least get Genesis off—he had tried in the moment. But by that point, he’d been exhausted and relaxed and content; generally in no mood to kick up as much fuss as he would have beforehand.

Genesis had insisted later, when Cloud pressed him, that he had enjoyed what they did, despite a lack of orgasm. He waxed poetic about how much he liked the show of trust, and that he took a different form of pleasure from taking care of people he was fond of. He had very much liked seeing Cloud relaxed and happy for once, and knowing that he had been the one to do that. It had been its own form of reward.

While Cloud certainly replayed the sexual parts of that night plenty of times, it was the simpler aspects that really stuck in his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about how comfortable he had felt in Genesis’s arms, curled up with him in a way he couldn’t remember ever allowing anyone other than Zack. He had felt safe and protected that night, in a way he associated exclusively with Zack.

His mind replayed Genesis saying he was proud of him like it was a broken record, and every time, it made his heart swell and his breath stutter. _No one_ said that to him—no one had, again, since Zack. People called him “hero” and “savior” all day, clearly thinking his actions were remarkable, but no one _praised_ him. He was too big a figure to the civilian, and AVALANCHE went through that hell together; they didn’t feel the need to praise one another for what they had all experienced.

Those weren’t even actions he was proud of, and if anyone _had_ thought to praise him for them, it would have rung hollow. No, Genesis’s praise meant something different. It wasn’t for actions taken simply because _someone_ had to do them, out of a fit of desperation, for a simple need to survive. That night had been deeply personal, meant nothing to anyone but the two of them, wasn’t some grand gesture on a huge scale for the fate of humanity. It was about him, just one man, just doing his best. And Genesis had seen his best and thought it worthy of praise. That _meant_ something to Cloud.

What shocked him more was that the next morning _also_ meant something to Cloud. He had been so bewildered when he woke up overheated, but then the previous night had come back to him. He had looked up at Genesis to see Genesis looking back at him.

“I would have thought you were more of a morning person,” Genesis had said. “It’s almost 1030 now.”

Cloud had yawned, but made no move to pull out of the embrace he hadn’t moved an inch from in the night.

“I used to be. Then I started staying out late, and staying up even later once I got home, because… y’know.”

“I see.”

“You didn’t have to wait for me.”

Genesis had looked at him oddly as he said, “I have no intention of running out on you this morning.”

That alone had been a strange enough concept—Cloud had been sure Genesis would leave the second he woke.

“It must have been boring, just laying here waiting for me to wake up.”

Genesis’s face had softened.

“I had no intention of waking you,” he had said, smoothing the hair from Cloud’s face. “And you’re cute when you’re asleep.”

Cloud scowled to counter-act the blush creeping onto his face.

“I’m not cute.”

“You are, darling.”

That had been enough to get Cloud to climb out of bed, as Genesis laughed and followed suit.

Cloud had spent the whole time dreading when the awkwardness would set in. He had always imagined that it would be plain _weird_ the morning after bringing someone home, but he supposed that sort of behavior was for strangers. Whatever he and Genesis were, now, it was hardly strangers. Cloud certainly did not display the sort of trust he did to Genesis the previous night to anyone he didn’t know.

He and Genesis had gone about making breakfast. Genesis had tried to insist on doing it alone, saying he wanted to do this for Cloud, until Cloud had said he enjoyed cooking with other people. He explained that it was something he and Tifa did often, simply sharing the space and working together.

He did not mention that it was something he used to do with Zack, on mornings very much like this. Those mornings had included gentle rough-housing—hip-checks and elbowing each other out of the way, flour that somehow always ended up in Cloud’s hair when they made pancakes, at least one egg always wasted when Zack purposefully timed a joke for when Cloud was about to crack it, guaranteeing that he tapped it too hard against the counter and making a huge mess.

That cooking with someone else was something he seemed to only do with the people he was arguably closest to in his life, a habit set with his mother, was not lost on him.

He and Genesis worked easily side by side. Genesis didn’t hip-check him out of the way, instead guiding him along with gentle touches. They didn’t chat about mutual acquaintances or shared businesses, the way he did with Tifa, or devolve into jokes and out-of-tune singing, the way he did with Zack. When it became clear Cloud intended to work in silence, Genesis began reciting poetry, the sound of his voice a pleasant background that didn’t need his undivided attention. When Genesis finished frying the bacon, and they were just waiting on the omelets Cloud was working on to finish, Genesis had come to stand behind Cloud. He looped his arms around Cloud’s waist, holding him loosely so his arms were still free to cook. Cloud was able to lean back against his chest as Genesis rested his chin in Cloud’s hair.

It had been… calm. Easy. Natural as breathing.

They had eaten, chatting companionably, before Genesis said that he had a shift at Seventh Heaven he ought to go home and get ready for. They had parted with no awkwardness, instead exchanging a few simple kisses at the door, before Genesis groaned in frustration and insisted that he needed to leave before Cloud convinced him to stay. Cloud had laughed, something that seemed to be coming easier to him these days, and let him go.

He couldn’t stop obsessing about it now.

This was not what he had signed up for, when he brought Genesis home that night. He thought he’d have a fun night with someone who could keep up with him, and that would be it. Now he clearly trusted him—with the truth of his history and with his vulnerability in the bedroom. He was sharing moments with him outside the bedroom that were not only as, but arguably more, intimate than what occurred inside of it. He was allowing Genesis to take care of him, in small ways, which was not a thing he allowed many people. Tifa had to fight him tooth and nail at times to be allowed the same. Why was it so easy with Genesis?

There was an answer, here, an answer that he was pointedly ignoring, but was growing clearer and clearer as time passed. Grew damnably hard to ignore, after Genesis wouldn’t deny the possibility of feelings when Tifa asked him about his endearment usage.

Cloud dried more glasses and found himself swallowing nervously.

It was a struggle not to admit to himself that he had feelings for Genesis. It was so much harder to do after that painfully absent denial, that made it clear Genesis might feel the same way. _Genesis_ didn’t seem to have any problems admitting to himself how he might feel. Cloud couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he just wasn’t bringing it up because he wanted to give Cloud space.

And the problem was, he needed it. If Genesis had admitted anything, he would have cut and run. But now, after that night and the morning after they shared, that had all but hit him over the head with his own feelings, it was hard to deny. It was harder still to deny when Genesis wouldn’t deny the feelings himself.

Cloud set the last glass in the cabinet and resolved that, maybe, he didn’t have to. Maybe he had feelings for Genesis, but it didn’t have to be a big deal. He glanced over at the man, who was flipping chairs over and putting them up on tables, now, somehow making the movement elegant.

It didn’t have to be _love_. This was Genesis, not Zack, after all, and he had sworn his heart would only belong to one man. He knew Zack was dead and gone, that he would want him to move on. That didn’t change the fact that the idea of moving on still felt like cheating. The meaningless flings, those were irrelevant, just a tool he used to keep soldiering on. No, giving his heart to someone else was what felt like betrayal. That had always been, and he had sworn always would be, for Zack alone. After everything the man had done for him, it felt like the _least_ he could do was stay true to him.

But a little crush couldn’t hurt, and surely that was all he felt for Genesis. Puppy love, nothing real. The kind of thing he had felt for Sephiroth, all those years ago. Even that much didn’t feel _right_ , but it was bearable. He could accept that. He could work with that. Just a little crush. All he had to do was not let himself get in too deep.

Genesis caught him staring as he went to move to the next table. He tilted his head in curiosity and raised an eyebrow. When Cloud shook his head, Genesis offered a wistful smile and an amused snort, shook his own head, and continued with his task. Cloud felt his heart seize with fondness at the little gestures, before looking around for _something_ to keep him occupied.

Just don’t get in too deep.

How hard could it be?


	7. Chapter 7

Cloud was doing something he did very well.

He was panicking.

Things with him and Genesis had been going well, over the last three months since their first scene together. A little too well, if anything. Cloud could be said to be a true master of only a few things, but lying to himself was one of them. He had told himself that he wouldn’t get in too deep, that he would keep his feelings limited to a crush, and he had meant it.

He still hadn’t _acknowledged_ any feelings aloud whatsoever. Genesis, in fairness, hadn’t done so explicitly either. They were doing a strange dance, each thinking of former lovers who held their hearts and unwilling to plunge feet first into a new romance.

When Genesis came over to fuck, whether or not it was a scene, he now spent the night. Cloud slept in his arms until he woke to Genesis watching him quietly, with his gaze heavy with a meaning neither wanted to acknowledge. They would cook together, quietly ignoring how much the act meant to them. Sometimes, if neither had anything planned, they spent the whole day together, until they fell back into bed that night, and repeated breakfast the next morning. They went out together on what they carefully didn’t call dates.

Cloud found himself admitting more quiet truths about himself than he had in ages—even if it was simple things, like foods he didn’t really like but would usually eat to avoid a fuss or just why it got so far under his skin to be called a “hero” when it was men like Zack that deserved the title, not him. Genesis matched him, talking about how he had _longed_ to be called a hero and why that no longer felt important to him.

Genesis managed something no one to date had yet: he got Cloud to open up about Zack. Even though Tifa knew about the man, had gotten a one-sentence explanation of what they had been to each other, she had known it was a sensitive topic and let it lie. But Genesis had insisted there was catharsis in airing old wounds and that remembering lost loved ones did not have to always be morose. He paved the way by talking about Angeal, finally admitting to Cloud how deeply they had been in love. Cloud had shared in kind about his relationship with Zack. It was easier, knowing that Genesis knew Zack well, that there were memories of the man that they shared. They even discussed Sephiroth, Genesis eager to paint a picture of the man _he_ had known, that he hadn’t always been the twisted figure Cloud came to be familiar with.

When they talked about old lovers, it was grew even harder to acknowledge the elephant in the room. How could they admit what they felt for each other, when they had just discussed how much their old partners meant to them? They acknowledged that their partners were gone. Cloud had been the first one to offer a tired laugh and say that he knew Zack would just want him to be happy, which Genesis had matched by saying that he knew Angeal would want the same.

The unspoken truth, that they could be happy _together_ if they just took the chance, was not addressed.

The ties of their shared history bound them closer and closer together the more they were discussed. Cloud found himself bringing up how Zack would have loved an intensely spicy dish at a restaurant, and how the man had been responsible for his own tolerance to spice. Genesis had laughed and told him that Angeal would gulp down water if there was more than a hint of black pepper on something, and that it had been something Zack teased him about. Both had, somewhere along the line, forgotten that these used to be taboo topics to them. They were so easy to bring up around each other. For once, thinking about their lost lovers didn’t make their chests ache—not when they were with each other.

When Tifa heard Cloud hum in response to Genesis’s comment about his shirt matching his eyes, saying that it matched Zack’s more than his own, she had dropped a plate in her shock. Cloud had looked at her in surprise, before turning sheepish, realizing what it was about. She had never heard him talk about Zack without it being dragged out of him by force. When Genesis had looked between them, confused but unalarmed, she let it slide, and called it progress.

Cloud and Genesis were texting each other constantly. They were together more often than not. It was apparent to Tifa, now, how close they were. She knew Cloud very well, and was growing to know Genesis better by the day. She knew how they normally were with people, and it wasn’t how they treated each other.

Genesis touched Cloud often, hands on his shoulders or the small of his back, tugging his hand to lead him somewhere or pushing him gently by the arm to guide him out of his way instead of just asking. And that wasn’t odd, because Genesis was a tactile person. But it was _extremely_ odd that Cloud was allowing it. He didn’t even accept Tifa’s touches that readily, and normally flinched out of the way from an oncoming touch before it could even land. Except she saw him return the touches from time to time; nothing necessarily affectionate, but _any_ voluntarily touch was a sign of affection from Cloud. She tried to write it off as a byproduct of them being in bed together, but couldn’t quite.

Genesis used endearments with everyone, usually “dear.” But Cloud was not just “dear”: he was “dearest,” and “darling,” and even, once, when Tifa was not supposed to be listening, “love.” Cloud did not return the endearments—it wasn’t his thing. Instead, he called Genesis a “dork” or an “idiot” with a tone of desperate fondness that far outshown the exasperation.

She was sure Cloud didn’t even realize it, but even the kids had picked up on the fact that he just wasn’t as stoic anymore. He smiled more easily, even if it was still small. He laughed readily, though it was limited to brief chuckles. Genesis seemed to think nothing of this, but he hadn’t known Cloud before his own influence, and he didn’t realize how much rarer the smiles and laughter grew when he wasn’t around.

She, of all people, knew that Cloud could be stubborn. He could be willingly obtuse. For Gaia’s sake, it had taken a dip in the Lifestream and her messing around inside his mind to get him to shake his self-delusions before. She knew there was a fair chance Cloud wouldn’t admit to himself what was now obvious to her. But she resolved to give him some time to come to the truth on his own before she intervened.

The problem was that he _was_ coming to the truth on his own. And it scared the living daylights out of him.

One day he had been climbing into bed and realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had gone to the club. It hadn’t felt necessary for the longest time. He told himself that it was because he was seeing Genesis much more often, now, that he was still fucking frequently, only there was no point in finding a stranger for worse sex when he could just call Genesis. But he knew that the point, previously, had been the anonymity. The not getting attached. Getting what he needed without letting someone new into his life.

He had _certainly_ let Genesis in.

He trusted Genesis so much more than he had ever intended. The man _meant_ more to him than he could have anticipated. He just could not, for the life of him, see the point of finding some stranger to give his time and effort to, when there was someone he knew was deserving whose company he genuinely wanted. And that _scared_ him. Because if he had already fallen this far, what was to stop him from going too deep, into territory he had reserved for Zack alone?

He resolved to go out to the club the next night.

The next day, Cloud gave no one anything but radio silence. He realized, in that moment, that he was accustomed to texting Genesis throughout the day, every day. His texts were growing more alarmed and concerned as time passed without a response. Eventually, Tifa texted, saying that Genesis said he wasn’t answering and that he was concerned, and that Cloud ought to answer him. She insisted that not everyone would tolerate his disappearances the way she did.

He didn’t answer her either.

Cloud put on one of his skimpier outfits that night when he went to the club. He waited at the bar, as usual, but did more spinning his glass between his hands than actual drinking. Still, it didn’t take terribly long before someone came over and began chatting him up. It was easy, really, falling back into old habits. The flirts left his lips easily, his body slipping into provocative poses without his conscious awareness. But he just couldn’t stop thinking about how this man wasn’t as handsome as Genesis, how he didn’t speak as well, about how overbearing he was and that he wasn’t going to have as much fun tonight as he would have if he called his preferred partner.

Still, this was the point of the exercise. Prove to himself that he didn’t care as much about Genesis as he seemed to. And so far, it was backfiring on him.

He opened his mouth to invite the man home with him when a hand fell on his raised forearm.

“ _Cloud_ , for goddess’ sake, I’ve been worried sick,” Genesis said, scowling down at him. Cloud blinked up at him in surprise.

“Genesis? How did you find me?”

“Whenever you go to the club to avoid me, you pick the one we met in. Was that not on purpose?”

Cloud scowled at him and admitted, “No, it wasn’t.”

“Who is this?” the man he had been talking to asked, frowning as he looked between them. “Your boyfriend?”

Cloud turned to gawk at him, his jaw hanging open, his eyes wide at the statement. _Boyfriend?_ Is that what they were?

He turned to look to Genesis for help, who just raised an eyebrow at him, refusing to answer that question for him.

Cloud’s mouth closed and his brow furrowed.

“I—I’m not—I don’t know?”

“You don’t know? You clearly know each other.”

“We _do_ , but we just—we don’t—we haven’t talked about it.”

The man raised his hand to cut him off. He finished his drink and set it on the bar.

“If you have anything to talk about, then there are more feelings involved than I want to tangle with. Have a good night—I hope you sort this out.”

The man walked away, leaving Cloud staring at his back in surprise and confusion. Genesis sighed and began tugging Cloud by the arm out of the club.

“Where are we going?”

“Your place. A club isn’t the right location for the talk we need to stop putting off.”

“… Fuck.”

“Indeed.”

They walked in silence back to Cloud’s townhome. Cloud let them in and they made their way over my mutual, silent consensus to the kitchen table, where all their important talks seemed to take place.

When Cloud just stared at the tabletop, refusing to begin, Genesis sighed.

“Cloud, what are we doing?”

Cloud ran his hand through his hair, tousling it as he went.

“I don’t know. I thought I knew, but—this left familiar territory a long time ago.”

“Is that what you want? Familiar territory? The clubs and the strangers?”

Cloud sighed in irritation and put his head in his hands, resting his elbows on the table.

“It’s what I _should_ want. I swore off relationships a long time ago, Genesis. Zack was supposed to be the one for me.”

“And Angeal the one for me, but the fates had different plans for us both. They’re gone, Cloud. What do you intend to do in their absence?”

“No, you don’t understand. I swore I’d only ever love Zack, that he’d be the only one I gave my heart to, and I’m not saying I _love_ you, but I feel something, and I told myself a crush was fine, as long as I didn’t get in too deep, but I think I might be starting to, and that’s unacceptable, and—”

“Cloud, you’re rambling. You only do that when you’re _very_ upset.”

Because it was a trait he picked up from Zack. It didn’t say anything good that he was falling back on it.

Cloud pulled in a wavering breath and then blew it out slowly. He sat upright again, tucking his hands into his lap.

Before Cloud could say anything else, Genesis continued, “I understand the feeling. I told myself I might love again, but it would never mean what Angeal meant to me. That no one ever could. And I’m not saying that you do, but you mean far more than I ever intended. I’m afraid that I’ll replace Angeal with you, and that idea upsets me to my core, because Angeal was many things to me, and none of them were replaceable. I will never meet another man like him. But you aren’t him, and still mean so much. You’re incredibly different, and somehow that hasn’t stopped me from caring deeply.”

Cloud nodded slowly, saying, “I don’t want to replace Zack, either. After everything he did for me, it—it would feel like an insult to his memory. But you, you’re—it’s like apples and oranges, in a lot of ways. But I just… can’t imagine my life without you, now. I don’t know where I’d be, except lost.”

A small smile grew on Genesis’s face. He reached out slowly and took both of Cloud’s hands in his.

“How about this: we just try. We can keep our lovers on their pedestals, and we agree right now that we’re not trying to replace them. They’re them, and they still matter, but they’re gone, now. We’ve both said it before, that they would want us to be happy. There’s no reason why we can’t be happy together. I think they would both rather that we weren’t alone. Angeal would be furious with me for clinging to him hopelessly, and Zack used to wither if left by himself for too long—I can’t imagine him wanting that fate for you.”

“I have AVALANCHE.”

“You know that isn’t what I mean.”

Cloud offered a wry smile. He squeezed Genesis’s hands.

“I do,” Cloud admitted. “So, what, we start dating and just—see where it goes? Hope for the best?”

“Why not? It’s not like people normally have any idea where their relationship will go. I certainly didn’t, with Angeal. Did you know where you would end up with Zack?”

Cloud snorted and said, “ _Hell_ no.”

“That’s what I thought. So why don’t we just take it one day at a time? I… want to make you happy, Cloud, as happy as you make me. Will you allow me to try?”

Cloud blinked. He paused. He let a slow, fond smile curl over his lips. He stood up and leaned across the table to kiss Genesis.

“Yeah. Yeah, I will.”

Maybe getting in too deep wouldn’t go so badly after all.


	8. Chapter 8

Zack woke slowly, his head deep in a fog. His eyelids felt like they were weighed down with bricks, and it was a fight to get them open. He couldn’t remember why, but it was important that he forced them open anyway. He had to go… somewhere. There was something urgent he was supposed to be doing, something that was his responsibility to take care of. Maybe he’d remember when his eyes opened. 

Through sheer stubborn force of will, Zack coerced his eyes to open, and then immediately understood the haze he was in. 

He was inside a mako tank. 

Long ago, he had sworn he would never be back here again. Apparently he hadn’t been strong enough to keep that promise. 

But it was odd. Because he was definitely inside a tank, but it was empty. He was sitting slumped against one curved side instead of floating. His clothes were still soaked from the liquid, but he wasn’t worried about poisoning. Cloud had been the one who was naturally over sensitive to mako, and Zack’s enhancements gave him some immunity. 

Wait. 

_ Cloud.  _

Zack jumped to his feet in a hurry and began to beat on the glass of the tank, the way he had last time he had escaped one of these. Only then, it had taken  _ forever _ , with him weak from still being in the mako. Now, it only took a few good hits before the glass was shattering. 

He stepped out of the remnants of the tank and looked around at the floor, that was flooded with mako. There must have been a leak somewhere, some crack in the glass or hole in a tube that allowed it to drain. But how hadn’t the scientists noticed this mess?

It didn’t matter. Their captors weren’t a problem for right now. What mattered was finding Cloud. 

He glanced around and spotted a tank across the room and carefully picked his way through the broken glass with his bare feet. But when he got there, it was  _ certainly _ not Cloud he saw inside. 

“...  _ Angeal? _ ”

The longer he stared up at the man he had been  _ sure _ was dead, that he had killed himself, the more certain he was that it was his old mentor. 

And he hesitated, in a way he hadn’t with Cloud. Angeal had  _ wanted _ his death. Would he still want that now? Would he hold it against Zack if he woke him? Would he just climb back inside the tank to continue the mindless sleep that was nearly as good as death?

It didn’t matter. Angeal could make that decision once he was awake and aware again. If he left him, he was making the choice for him, and he couldn’t stomach that idea. 

He cocked one fist back and slammed it into the tank once, twice, three times before it shattered, immediately ready to catch Angeal as he slumped forward, the way Cloud had last time he did this. It was more difficult to negotiate Angeal’s size than it had been Cloud’s, but he could work with it. He shifted him, got one arm wrapped around his shoulder and one arm around Angeal’s waist. He was able to drag him that way to an area with no broken glass to set him down. 

“Don’t worry, Geal, I’ve got this,” Zack said, speaking mostly to soothe his own nerves. “Can’t be too hard to repeat an impossible escape a second time, right?”

Zack began rummaging around until, sure enough, he found two First Class uniforms, one in each of their sizes. He didn’t know what to make of them being ready on hand, but decided not to question his luck. He yanked his own on quickly, with the ease of long experience. By the time he had his own on and was heading back to Angeal, the man was stirring. As an afterthought, he took the small stash of potions nearby, just to be safe. 

Zack knelt beside him, uniform and boots in his arms to protect them from the mako that’s had spread its way over here. 

“Angeal, hey, you awake?” Zack asked, and when Angeal groaned, he shook his shoulder. “Hey, c’mon, we gotta hurry. Let’s go, SOLDIER.”

Angeal seemed to respond to the familiar words that he had said to Zack dozens of times, or maybe Zack’s panicked tone, because he cracked his eyes open. 

“Zack?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Zack said, pushing the bundle in his arms to Angeal’s chest, who moved slowly to take it. “Hurry and get changed, okay? We have to move.”

“What’s going on, Zack?”

“We’ll talk later, alright? We don’t have time, it’s not safe here.”

That seemed to convince Angeal, who stood on shaky legs to begin going about dressing. Zack started to look around the room for anything that could be used as a weapon. There was no stash of standard issue SOLDIER swords, and the Buster Sword was nowhere to be found. He settled for yanking two lengths of pipe from the tanks. As he did so, he spotted a broken valve on the back of his tank. It seemed to just be rusted and to have fallen off—he couldn’t see any signs of tampering. He couldn’t believe it was sheer luck that let him escape a second time, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

By the time he returned with the pipes, Angeal was tying off the laces of his boots. He handed him the pipe, which Angeal took with a nod of his head, and they both set off at a jog. Angeal tried to take point, which Zack found frustrating—he was the one with more information about the situation, but he guessed old habits die hard. He allowed it, with every intention of shoving Angeal out of the way if he needed to. 

But, shockingly, they ran into no one at all. And that had Zack on edge; even the last time they had escaped, Zack could remember needing to put Cloud down multiple times to fight his way out. But they didn’t see or even hear anything at all. 

They wound their way through the facility with no sound but their boots and their breath. By the time they came to a long stairway leading up, Zack was both highly suspicious and deeply confused by how easy this was. It wasn’t supposed to be so  _ easy _ . 

But then Angeal was opening what appeared to almost be a trap door at the top of the stairs, and light was flooding into the dark stairwell. Zack followed his old mentor out into the sunshine and looked around, shocked. 

“Holy  _ shit _ …”

“For once, Zack, I agree with you.”

They looked around at the ruins of Midgar, in what could have been any sector—it was hard to find identifiers in the sheer destruction. Angeal let out a low whistle as they looked around. 

“What  _ happened _ ?” Angeal asked, looking to Zack for answers. It was the first hint that he remembered their last meeting and the ending it came to, that Zack should know more than he did simply by virtue of having survived longer. 

Zack shook his head and said, “I dunno. It wasn’t like this last time I was here. But c’mon, we shouldn’t stand around talking. It’s not safe—but I know somewhere we can go.”

Angeal nodded and allowed Zack to take point, but didn’t allow the matter to drop. 

“Why isn’t it safe? Who’s the threat—Wutai?”

“It’s Shinra. They took me and—a, uh, buddy of mine captive. Four years of experimentation. I broke us out, just like we just did. He was comatose—mako poisoning. Shinra sent everyone they had against us—troopers to SOLDIERs to Turks. I think we were on the run for like a year before I got us to Midgar—“

Zack sucked in a sharp breath. 

_ Fuck.  _ He had forgotten. How had he forgotten taking all those bullets, lying in the mud in the rain, bleeding out? Cloud had  _ woken _ , but it was too late. All he had been able to do was pass on the Buster Sword. He was so  _ sure _ he remembered dying. Had he only fallen unconscious?

“... Zack?”

“They caught us. I held them off as long as I could but I—I thought I  _ died _ . How didn’t I die?”

Angeal paused, then hummed in thought as they ran. 

“They got both of us at the brink of death, put us on ice. The mako would have healed whatever wounds we had.”

“That… makes a lot of sense. They did that the first time they took me and my—friend. We had nearly died before they took us.”

“What happened there?”

Zack winced and shook his head as he led them around a corner. 

“That’s a longer story, for when we’re safe.”

“Do you know why they would have wanted to keep us alive?”

Zack scowled and said, “I’m sure it’s got something to do with Sephiroth, I’m just not sure  _ what _ .”

“ _ Sephiroth _ ?”

Zack cursed quietly. He’d been more thinking aloud than answering. 

“That’s part of the other story.”

They fell into silence until they reached their destination, the Sector 5 Church where he had met Aerith. He was surprised to see that there was a pond where the flowers had been, but more shocked to see the Buster Sword placed by the altar, like it was a shrine. 

Zack’s stomach sank. He ran up to the blade, forgetting everything else. 

“Zack?”

He knelt beside the blade, checking it over. Sure enough, it was covered in nicks and scratches that hadn’t been there when he passed it off to Cloud. 

Cloud had used the blade—for quite a while, by the looks of it. Cloud had to know the meaning of the sword, how important it was. Zack couldn't imagine Cloud setting it aside easily. Why would he take up a new blade, knowing what the sword meant? Why would he go unarmed, when the world was still so dangerous,  _ especially _ for Cloud?

He could think of one possible reason. Someone had set this up as a memorial to Cloud, and that meant Cloud had—he didn’t even want to think it. 

“Fuck,  _ no _ …” Zack felt his eyes start to water. 

“Zack? Is this some sort of memorial someone set up in your honor?”

Zack scrubbed at his eyes and shook his head. 

“I don’t think it’s for me. I gave it to Cloud right before I would have died.”

“Maybe he just got a new sword?”

“No, Geal, he knows what this sword means, what it meant to you and what it meant to me. He wouldn’t part with it anymore than I would.”

The silence stretched as Angeal struggled to find something to say. He didn’t know this Cloud, but could gather he was the friend that had been taken with him before. The name sounded distantly familiar, so Zack must have mentioned him before, but he couldn’t be sure who he was. 

Instead of offering platitudes, Angeal crouched down next to Zack and pulled him into an embrace. He tucked his former mentee’s head beneath his chin and rubbed at his back as Zack fought hard to keep his breath even, not quite allowing himself to cry. 

They stayed like that for longer than Angeal anticipated, with Zack’s breath only growing rougher. He could hear the hitches that meant he lost the battle with his tears, could feel the growing dampness on his shirt. 

Angeal was about to say something, try to find  _ some _ comfort to offer, when Zack said, “Gods _ dammit.” _

He pulled away just far enough to look up sharply at Angeal, not bothering to hide his tears as Angeal tried to figure out what the sudden change was. 

He was  _ not _ expecting Zack to grab him by the back of the head and pull him in for a kiss. 

It was not the way he had once fantasized about kissing his mentee. He had thought about tender exchanges and the soft brushing of lips when he dared to consider it. Genesis had been open to the idea of other partners, so long as they both agreed on them, and had encouraged him to chase Zack. He had refrained due to the inherent power disparity between them, with both rank and how Angeal had trained Zack. But there was no rank between them now, and he had long since stopped being Zack’s mentor. 

But he still couldn’t. 

When Zack’s mouth met his, it wasn’t the tenderness of his fantasy, it was all desperation. This was a man who needed comfort, who needed to know that at least one person who was dear to him was alive. The loss of this Cloud seemed to be what pushed him over the edge, into reaching out for what he never had before. It was a large factor in what made him pull away—if he was to have this with Zack, he wanted it on happier terms. 

Zack let him go when he pulled away and hung his head at the rejection, letting his hand fall into his lap. 

“ _ Fuck _ , I’m sorry,” Zack whispered, just barely willing to glance up at Angeal. 

“No, Zack, it’s not that it’s  _ you _ , it’s the situation, and I think Genesis would kill me if I didn’t at least ask him first—“

“Oh gods. Oh, shit, Angeal, I’m sorry, so much was happening, I should have told you sooner, but—“

“Told me what?”

“Genesis, he… I don’t think he made it. He was still alive when I left him, but he was in bad shape, and with the degradation… I’m sorry.”

Angeal stared at Zack, uncomprehending. That didn’t make sense. There was no universe, where he outlived Genesis. He would lay his life down a thousand times over to keep that man safe, and it hadn’t been  _ enough _ ?

There was guilt on Zack’s face, but whatever he did, Angeal knew he was the one who was truly at fault. If he hadn’t given up when he was clearly still needed, this never would have happened. 

Suddenly, all his earlier thoughts about how now wasn’t the right time went out the window. He knew immediately what Zack had felt, when he found out about Cloud. He was left stranded, now, here alone with Zack. Genesis was gone. Sephiroth was—gone? Irredeemable? Zack’s earlier reaction had said nothing good about what happened to his friend when he wasn’t there to watch him. 

The two of them were left, lost and alone together. They were all they had left, now. No place to call home, no friends to go back to. Except, a thought zinged through him. Maybe there was hope for Zack, at least, and he could beat back the terrible idea that was clawing its way into his head. 

“What about the flower girl you were dating? She might still be around.”

Zack shook his head and said, “It’s been so many  _ years _ , Angeal—who even knows how many. I doubt she waited around. And besides, we weren’t dating, we were just friends. If we had been, maybe she would have held out for me, but…”

Angeal’s brow furrowed as he said, “But you said that you were. She was the one who made you so happy.”

“No, Geal, that was  _ Cloud _ . I was dating him, I just didn’t want to tell you, because he was a trooper then, and I outranked him so much, I knew you would try to talk me out of it. It was easier to say it was Aerith I was dating.”

A distant part of him that grew quieter by the second said he ought to have a stern talking-to with Zack about that whole notion. But all he could think about was that they were alone, now, having lost the two most important people to them. They lost their loves, their hearts. He knew Zack loved as deeply as he did himself; Zack didn’t do things by half-measures, and he doubted romance was the exception. 

That was what pushed him over the edge into making a decision he was almost certain he’d regret later. Because if they had to lose everything, if they had to be alone, at least they could be alone together. 

Angeal cupped Zack’s face gently between his palms as he pulled him closer, but the kiss he pressed to his lips was every bit as desperate as Zack’s had been. Zack’s hands found their way into his hair as he groaned his approval. 

Their kiss was frantic, and passionate, and needy. Their only source of air might have been each other’s lungs, from the way they kissed. 

Angeal began to lean forward, slowly easing Zack backwards toward the floor, until Zack was pinned beneath him. He pulled away and paused there, brushing the hair out of Zack’s eyes as he panted. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked. 

Zack nodded gravely, saying, “I need this, right now. I need you with me.”

Angeal returned his nod, then undid his own stomach guard and yanked off his shirt. He went back to kissing Zack as they slowly undressed, clothes scattered about on the floorboards. 

It was hard to keep track of what was happening, with the sheer lonely need of it all. It was hazy as they undressed, and only grew hazier as Angeal prepared Zack using one of the potions he had snagged from the lab. There was a bone-deep ache in both their chests, but the ache of physical need was beginning to override it, and that was so much easier. It was simpler. This, they could handle. This didn’t ask too much of them, didn’t ask them to continue on after so much loss. All the ache demanded was to be sated, and they were happy to provide that for each other. 

It was easy to focus on the rhythm of it, of the simple motion. Angeal was having a hard time remembering who he was here with, and every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Genesis. He had to deliberately fight to keep them open, before he did something stupid and called out a dead man’s name.

Zack has no such problems—Cloud never had much interest in topping. No, instead, it was how painfully obvious that this  _ wasn’t  _ Cloud that had his heart clenching. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been fucked like this. Every thrust brought home the point that this was  _ not Cloud _ . 

But when they yanked each other over the edge, that all fell away. There was only simple pleasure, a release both physical and emotional that they both deeply needed. Angeal rolled them onto their sides, tucking Zack’s head against his chest with one hand. 

They laid like that as their breathing slowed down to normal, the guilt setting into both of them. They hadn’t even lasted an hour of finding out their partners were dead. Yet they had both expected their partners to have waited for them, despite knowing everyone must think them dead. 

“They would have moved on by now,” Zack admitted slowly, his voice morose. “I would have wanted Cloud to, if I was really dead. But  _ fuck _ , it hurts to think about. I don’t want to be left behind.”

“I won’t leave you behind,” Angeal promised in a murmur he buried into Zack’s hair. 

“I won’t leave you behind either. We’ll stick together, right?”

“I swear it.”

Zack snorted a laugh and patted Angeal’s arm as he started to sit up, saying, “Can’t really swear by your honor as SOLDIER anymore, can you? C’mon, we ought to clean up. I’m a mess, and we both ought to get the mako off.”

“Is it disrespectful, to use the water that way? This is a church, and the pool is in such a prominent position.”

“Can’t be that important, it’s a new addition. It was a flower bed last time I was here. And besides, this is Aerith’s church, she’s got a great sense of humor, she’d understand. If she can forgive what we just did, I think a bath’s okay.”

“I suppose it’s not like she’ll ever know about it anyway.”

“Right. She’s probably moved out of this run down city by now, living life happily somewhere sunny. I doubt she’d still be hanging around here.”

Without further ado, Zack slipped into the pool and cursed loudly. 

Angeal couldn’t help himself. He laughed, and it unwound something in his chest. 

“Cold?” he asked. 

“Freezing!” Zack said, rubbing his arms. “Let’s hurry up and get this over with.”

Angeal dropped into the pool himself. It was, admittedly,  _ freezing.  _ They scrubbed the mako and mess from their skin before climbing out, Zack wringing out his hair that had apparently grown quite long, before the mako froze him in time. They redressed, Zack bemoaning the way their clothes still had a hint of that mako smell to them, but they had nothing else to wear. 

Eventually, they settled, leaning against the altar. Angeal had one arm around Zack’s shoulder, who rested his head against Angeal’s. 

“Are we gonna be okay, Geal?”

“Of course. We’ll go forage for supplies tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll find plenty in the abandoned houses, but we can keep staying here, if you’d rather.”

“I would rather, but that’s not what I meant.”

Angeal fell silent for a long moment, before he quietly said, “I don’t know, Zack. All we can do is try. It’s what they would want.”

“Yeah,” Zack mumbled, imagining the sad little smile Cloud would have given him while insisting he should move on. 

They fell silent, and before long, they fell asleep. It was still daylight out, but their day had admittedly been trying. 

Best to accept the respite while they had it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I know a lot of bad assumptions were just made but it’ll work out I promise!!
> 
> also I can’t remember the exact circumstances of the last time you see Genesis in CC, or if Angeal was still around when Zack met Aerith. But this worked out neatly and made the fun bad assumptions work even better so, even if it’s wrong, it’s gonna stick, as will any inconsistencies with CC that may happen. canon divergence is a fun time anyway!!
> 
> thanks for the patience 💕


	9. Chapter 9

It had been six months since they officially started dating. For the most part, things went perfectly. Cloud didn’t have anyone who knew him better than Genesis, now, except maybe Tifa. He was more open with Genesis, by virtue of the shared history they had. Every scene they did together only cemented his trust; Genesis had shown himself to be nothing but trustworthy and dependable, with an incredible ability to make logical decisions even while emotional and outwardly dramatic. It was something that helped Cloud soothe Genesis’s guilt when it occasionally flared up; no matter what he had done in the past, in a state where he wasn’t in complete control of his own mind, he had only ever done right by Cloud. He had an endless slew of examples, objective facts he could reference that Genesis couldn’t find a way to argue with, even when he wanted to.

They helped each other through their bad days. Cloud needed someone there with him, but little interaction. He wanted to sit quietly with someone he cared about, doing some separate task; Genesis usually reading, while Cloud tinkered with parts of his sword or his motorcycle to do maintenance. The task didn’t require his full awareness, allowing Cloud to stew on whatever made him upset. Eventually, inevitably, he would put down his parts, and Genesis would put down his book, because he always kept at least one eye on Cloud through this process. Cloud would divulge whatever was upsetting him, Genesis either encouraging his venting or talking to him calmly and logically until he saw that he was making a mountain out of a molehill.

Genesis wasn’t at all the same. Once he finally accepted he had a problem of some sort, he needed constant attention, affection, and reassurance. Genesis would approach Cloud, and he would immediately know something was off. His shoulders would be slumped, his brows furrowed, his mouth in a scowl. Genesis had an infinite number of ways he approached Cloud, from affectionate to teasing to downright ornery, but none of them ever looked quite like that.

Without a word, Cloud would take Genesis by the hand and lead him to the nearest couch or bed, push him gently to sitting, and climb into his lap. It was not a position he normally tolerated; it made him feel small and childish, which he hated. He would tolerate it only if things were sexually charged and he had a goal, he was very thorough cajoled and pleaded with, or Genesis needed the contact. Genesis would wrap his arms around Cloud tightly, pressing them close, and bury his face in Cloud’s neck. Cloud would rest his cheek against Genesis’s hair and rub circles into his back while returning his embrace.

Cloud had never really had a way with words. When people came to him for comfort, he never had any idea what to do. He was so rarely on the receiving end, from his usual habit of running away until the moment passed, that he didn’t know what the lines were. Instead, he would hum. One afternoon, where Genesis caught him singing in the shower, thinking Genesis had left already, Genesis had asked why Cloud never sang, insisting he had a lovely voice. Cloud had disagreed and insisted it was embarrassing to do in front of other people, but took careful note of the reaction. Now, he sang old, traditional Nibel songs to Genesis in lieu of humming.

Within the last month, Cloud had tried something new.

He had dipped his head and whispered in Genesis’s ear, “I love you.”

Genesis’s head had snapped up in shock. Cloud had kissed him and repeated the phrase over, and over again, until Genesis finally smiled. It wasn’t how he imagined finally admitting that hard truth to Genesis, but it unlocked the words.

Now, they said it often. They’d had a talk about it, wherein they agreed that this love wasn’t the exact same as what they had felt for Zack and Angeal, but love was the only word to accurately describe it. They had insisted to each other that they weren’t replacing their old loves, that they remained on their pedestals and would stay there for the foreseeable future. They weren’t trying to overwrite the past, so much as create something new.

When Genesis started calling Cloud “love” more often, Tifa picked up on it. Cloud had come clean to her about the nature of the relationship. She told him very seriously that he deserved this, and should do everything he could to be happy, and that she was proud of him. To Genesis, she said that she would punch his nose all the way into his brain if he hurt Cloud, and reminded him carefully that she had been there for the last fight with Sephiroth. It was no idle threat, and Genesis knew it. He took it, and the sentiment behind it, as seriously as Tifa did.

It didn’t stop them from growing closer than either had expected. As the two closest people to Cloud, there was an awful lot of teasing at his expense. Every time they were all together in Seventh Heaven, there was at least one time he rolled his eyes, sighed heavily, groaned outright, or tossed his hands up. Genesis would gossip with Tifa in a way that Cloud wouldn’t. She told him embarrassing old stories about Cloud as a child, which more often than not got items thrown at her every time Cloud overheard.

They agreed that they would work together to protect Cloud, in all the ways he didn’t think to do so himself. Tifa filled Genesis in on all the things Cloud wouldn’t admit out loud, and all the tricks to help him when he got upset. Genesis grew increasingly handsy in public with Cloud, often walking around with an arm around his shoulders or holding his hand. He glared away anyone who approached with the wrong look in their eye, be it lustful or the adoring gaze of a fan. After their love confessions, Genesis began indulging in PDA, which always made Cloud blush and complain, but was clearly something he enjoyed. He only protested out of a strange, lingering sense of Nibel propriety.

They had been caught kissing in public, just a brief display only three months after they began dating, but the papers and tabloids had caught it. Cloud had _never_ been seen in such a position before. Genesis was, unfortunately, recognized, which sparked _much_ indignance among the populace. What he had done during his degradation had been massively hushed up by Shinra; few civilians knew about it. What they did know, was how he was related to Sephiroth, and they certainly knew what Sephiroth had done. They accused Genesis of being an agent of Sephiroth, sent to corrupt and weaken their savior (Genesis had laughed long and hard about this, unable to even read it aloud to Cloud at first because he couldn’t stop his little splutters of laughter).

Cloud had marched into Rufus’s office, a right he and the Turks had alone. He had slapped a newspaper on the desk, which had his and Genesis’s kiss printed on the front page, with the title “LOVER OR DESTROYER: WHAT IS GENESIS RHAPSODOS’S TRUE GOAL?”

Before Rufus could get further than raising an eyebrow, Cloud growled, “Fix this. I don’t care how, who you have to pay, what strings you have to pull. I want it gone, and I want it to _stay_ gone.”

“ _Cloud_ —“

“No, Rufus. I’m not going to sit here and tally up the reasons why you owe me, because I know you know them frontwards and back. Just get it done.”

Cloud had stomped his way back out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

It was gone within a week.

Cloud was able to finally laugh about it, after it had been fixed. Seeing the man he cared for so much being written about in such an insulting way, when Cloud _knew_ how much he was cared for in return, was unacceptable. It had raised every protective instinct he had, and set off his temper in a way that rarely happened anymore.

Genesis still brought it up to coo about sometimes.

(Genesis batting his eyelashes and saying, “My hero,” was infinitely better than every other time anyone else had aimed that dreaded word at him.)

They had finally found their groove together by the end of the six months—it helped that Genesis had moved into Cloud’s place quickly after their love confessions. Things were infinitely easier now. They trusted each other instinctually at this point, which was something they could say about few other people.

Cloud finally allowed Genesis to come with him to the church.

Previously, he had made all the trips alone. It was Cloud’s time to pay his respects to Zack, which was a deeply intimate and private thing for him. It was his time to chat at Aerith, who never answered, but whose presence was so potent there that Cloud knew she was listening. He caught her up on everything that had happened since he lasted visited. He knew she likely knew everything already, but it was an easy thing to talk about.

Genesis had always understood and respected that, and let Cloud have his distance. But when Cloud hesitantly asked if he wanted to come with, while studiously keeping his eyes on the blade he was polishing, Genesis hadn’t had to think at all before agreeing.

When they walked into the church, Genesis saw the line of tension that was almost always in Cloud’s shoulders drop. He only did that when he felt very deeply safe. Genesis smiled quietly at his back as Cloud walked further into the church ahead of him, before turning around and raising an eyebrow at Genesis. He picked up the pace, catching up to Cloud, and walked with him down the aisle.

Genesis sat in the front pew, crossing one knee over the other, as Cloud peeled away to make his way to Zack’s memorial. He knelt by it, touched his forehead to the flat off the blade, and let out a shaky sigh.

“Hey, Zack,” he said quietly; Genesis only heard it because the church was dead silent. “I brought Genesis. I know you two know each other, but—I wanted you two to meet, under these different circumstances. I thought the two men I love should at least have that much.”

Cloud looked up at Genesis expectantly. Genesis raised his eyebrows, but got up and went over. He knelt beside the blade.

“Say something to him,” Cloud encouraged. Genesis hesitated. He was not as accustomed to talking to the dead as Cloud clearly was.

Genesis haltingly pressed his hand to the flat of the blade.

“Hello, Zack. I know you won’t trust me, but things have changed, since I saw you last. I deeply regret what I have done. I doubt you will believe me, but I swear I will take care of him. In every way I know how.”

He was still looking at his hand pressed to the sword when Cloud pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you, Gen.”

Genesis turned to smile at him, finding a soft, fond version on Cloud’s own lips. Until it turned into a frown, eyebrows knit. His eyes were aimed over Genesis’s shoulder, so Genesis turned to look.

“Oh. Are there squatters here often?” he asked Cloud.

“No. There’s never been squatters, unless you count me. People don’t really come here anymore, not with Advent Day so far behind us.”

“Hmm. Well, hopefully they’re out for the day.”

Cloud shook his head and looked at Genesis, standing up. Genesis followed suit.

“While they’re not here, I need you to get in the water.”

Genesis, having long since had the properties of this water explained to him, raised his eyebrows.

“I told you, Cloud, the goddess cured me. There’s no need.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know a single thing about this goddess, and that’s weird, because I know a lot about the Lifestream.”

“There are gods and goddesses that have nothing to do with the Lifestream.”

“I know that, Nibelheim had plenty. But I’ve never met one, never seen anything they ‘did’ that couldn’t be explained some other way. I’m not saying she didn’t cure you, because you’re clearly healthy and not degrading at all, but please. I don’t know enough about Project G to say for sure that the J cells in you won’t act up in some other way. Just humor me?”

Genesis looked at him curiously, surprised to see that he was deadly serious.

“Alright. If it will set you at ease.”

Cloud smiled in relief and said, “It really would.”

Then he turned to give Genesis some privacy to undress, as if he hadn’t seen him naked hundreds of times by now.

Grinning and rolling his eyes at the strange Nibel propriety that cropped up sometimes, Genesis saw only one solution.

He closed the gap between them in one long stride and gave Cloud a firm shove in the shoulder, knocking him easily into the pool.

Genesis was already laughing by the time Cloud came up to the air and spluttered. He scowled hard, but there was amusement in his eyes.

“You ass!”

Genesis only laughed harder.

The corner of Cloud’s mouth twitched up against his will, but he slowly made his way over to the space next to Genesis to get out of the cold water. When he finally got there, Genesis was distracted, leaning on his knees as he laughed as hard as Cloud had seen him ever do. While he wasn’t paying attention, Cloud shifted over in front of him and shot one hand out to grab the back of his knee and _yank_. The leg buckled and the momentum took Genesis face first into the pool. He came up and tossed his hair out of his face, flicking water at Cloud in the process. Cloud was too busy laughing to care.

Genesis was ready to scold him, but Cloud was laughing much longer and harder than he usually did. Something about the safety he felt here let him let loose, feeling no need to restrain himself in this space. Genesis’s eyes went soft and his smile went fond.

When Cloud’s laughter started to wind down and he finally looked at Genesis again, Genesis forced a scowl onto his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest.

Cloud just chuckled again, wiped at his eyes, and began climbing out of the pool, saying, “C’mon, let’s go—I know you’re not really mad.”

Genesis didn’t bother fighting back the smile on his face as he moved over to Cloud, who leaned over to hold his hand out to help Genesis out. He didn’t need the help, but liked the gesture. He thought about taking that hand and pulling Cloud back into the water, but it _was_ cold, and it would stretch the joke too thin. He allowed Cloud to help him back onto the floorboards.

Cloud ruffled his hair, getting water everywhere, saying, “We’re gonna be icicles by the time we get home.”

Genesis paused, then he smirked. It was the perfect opportunity to what he had been planning all along.

He walked over behind Cloud and set his hands on his hips, his mouth by his ear. Cloud went still beneath his touch.

“Then why don’t we warm them up?”

“… What? How?”

Genesis pushed gently, steering Cloud around the pool to the altar. When they were there, he put a hand between Cloud’s shoulder blades, slowly pushing him down. Cloud allowed it, but caught himself on his hands, stopping Genesis from pushing him totally flat. Cloud looked over his shoulder, hesitant.

“I’m not sure here is such a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“I—I feel Aerith’s… presence, here, all the time. It’d feel like she was watching, I don’t know that she needs to see that.”

Genesis leaned over Cloud, caging him with his own body. He put his hands on top of Cloud’s and laced their fingers together and nuzzled into his neck, feeling Cloud shiver beneath him.

“Then let me show her how well I take care of you. Maybe it will set her at ease.”

Cloud sighed and hung his head.

“I don’t know about that, but knowing her, she _will_ find it funny. I guess if she doesn’t want to watch, she can turn her attention somewhere else,” Cloud said, before pausing briefly. Then he continued, at a louder volume, “Now’s your cue to look away, Aerith!”

Genesis chuckled and dug in his pocket, retrieving a bottle of lube. He tugged Cloud’s pants down until they were stretched around his thighs. He nudged Cloud’s leg with his foot and encouraged him to spread his legs some, which he did with a sigh. When he flicked open the bottle, Cloud looked over his shoulder at him in confusion.

“Did you actually bring _lube?_ ”

“How else would we do this, love?”

“I dunno, I thought you were just bending me over for fun, we’d blow each other, and then go home.”

Genesis had spread the lube on his fingers as they spoke and carefully began circling a finger around and across Cloud’s hole.

“Oh, _hardly_ , darling.”

“Did you plan this?”

“Maybe,” he admitted, before working his finger into Cloud to distract him.

“ _Why_?” Cloud insisted, though his voice was much breathier now. 

“Because I thought you’d be much more relaxed here, and that making love to you while you feel deeply safe would be an excellent experience.”

“‘Making love,’ _Gaia_ , you don’t have to use that phrase all the time, just because we admitted we love each other.”

Genesis kissed the side of his neck and worked another finger inside, saying, “Maybe not, but it continues to fluster you, and I’m still working to convince you that sex can be more than fucking. There can be meaning to it.”

“It’s— _nnn_ , just bodily reactions.”

Third finger.

“It’s pleasure, and vulnerability, and trust, and yes, _love_ , if you let it be.”

“I don’t,” Cloud sucked in a sharp breath as Genesis struck the bundle of nerves inside him, “I don’t know how to let it.”

“That’s why we’re trying here, where you feel safe. Where you have fewer guards up.”

Cloud fought to keep his voice even and only slightly succeed as he said, “I’m surprised you’re not demanding the missionary position with the way you’re talking.”

“There’s nothing wrong with missionary. But I thought this might be a little more familiar. It can’t hurt to give you something you already know to encourage you to let the rest be outside your comfort zone.”

Cloud groaned and hung his head for a moment before lifting it again.

“Whatever, can you just get on with it?”

Genesis stood upright, unzipped, slicked his cock, and tucked the lube back in the pocket it came from.

“You know that I know when you’re being grumpy to cover when you feel something else.”

“Maybe, but you’ll let me get away with it, if you don’t want me to walk away right now.”

Genesis breathed a laugh, then lined up.

“Whatever you’d like, dearest.”

Before Cloud could retort, he pushed his way in slowly.

Cloud grabbed the edges of the altar for something to hang onto and arched his back with a moan, popping his ass out in a way that looked absolutely inviting.

Genesis grabbed Cloud by the hips and started a slow pace, his hips moving like the tide, slow and inexorable. He curved his body over Cloud’s almost protectively, pressing careful kisses to what little skin his shirt collar didn’t cover.

It was slow, and careful, and caring. Cloud tolerated it for only a few minutes before swatting Genesis.

“Faster and harder. You know how I like it.”

“I know how you’re used to it, yes. It’s time you learn about gentle sex. I’ve been aching to teach you for months, but the moment never felt right.”

Cloud sank to his elbows and gave a sound that he would forever deny was a whine.

“C’mon, Gen, please?”

Genesis kissed the space behind his ear and muttered, “Not this time.”

Cloud began to try and fuck himself to speed things along, but Genesis’s grip grew almost bruising around his hips. If he was anyone else, he would have broken something. If he was even slightly less enhanced, Genesis would have been successful in holding him still, with the strength behind that grip.

Instead, Cloud relented because this was clearly important to Genesis if he would go that far, and he didn’t want him to pull something trying to keep him still.

Cloud sighed and let his head drop again, but obediently went still.

Genesis kissed the back of his neck and said, “Thank you.”

It remained slow and sensual. Long, deep strokes, lots of kisses, Genesis’s wandering hands caressing as much skin as he could get to, tucked up inside his shirt. Cloud wasn’t sure how long it had been, but he thought he was starting to understand the point Genesis was trying to make.

And then, the door to the church opened.

Cloud’s head shot up, his eyes wide. Impossibly, his eyes got wider when he saw who it was. His knees went weak, and he would have fallen, but for his weight being partially on his elbows and Genesis’s arms around his chest. He made a small, choked noise as Genesis groaned in frustration, his face still against Cloud’s neck.

“Do you _mind_ —“ he started as he looked up, his tone venomous, until he, too, saw who was in the doorway. “Oh. _Oh_.” He went stock still behind Cloud.

“Genesis, are you seeing this too?” Cloud whispered, fear in his tone that this might not be real.

“I am,” Genesis whispered back.

Zack and Angeal finally unfroze from their state of shock in the doorway and came alive. Zack began pulling a length of pipe from behind his back, his face dark and expression furious as he marched down the aisle.

“Let go of him!” Zack hollered.

Genesis’s brow furrowed in confusion. He wasn’t tracking what made Zack upset.

“Excuse me?”

“Zack—“ Angeal started, hurrying after him and catching his hand to hold him back. His eyes kept flicking back to where Genesis and Cloud were still joined together behind the altar.

“Get your filthy fucking hands off of him!”

That made it clear what this was about, and Genesis couldn’t help but roll his eyes. The exasperation did much to cut through his shock at seeing two dead men walk into the room.

“Zack, please. I would never rape anyone.”

“ _What?”_ Cloud said, his head snapping back to look at Genesis; he still hadn’t understood what Zack had been implying. Genesis began casually putting himself away and pulling Cloud’s pants back up.

“You’ve done plenty of fucked up shit, I wouldn’t put it past you!”

“Zack, that’s—“ Angeal tried, but Genesis cut him off.

“Cloud, call off your attack pup.”

Zack let out a sound of fury at the old nickname and tried to yank his arm free, but Angeal held on.

“Zack, relax,” Cloud said, finishing pulling up his pants and making his way around the altar with Genesis trailing him. “It’s fine. This was all consensual.”

“Bullshit, Cloud—I know you.”

Cloud sucked in a sharp breath and had to bite back the wounded sound that tried to crawl out of his throat. His knees locked, and he couldn’t take a single step forward from that point.

Genesis caught up to him and took his hand, saying, “You don’t have to say it, Cloud. It can wait.”

“It can’t,” Cloud said in a pained whisper, before sucking in a breath and continuing, “You don’t, Zack. You _knew_ me. I’m not the trooper you remember anymore, and I haven’t been for a long time.”

Genesis squeezed his hand in support.

Zack’s eyes kept flitting to their hands, not understanding.

Angeal understood perfectly, and was trying very hard to keep calm about it. He reminded himself silently that much time had passed, that Genesis had thought him dead, and of how fast he had sought comfort in Zack after thinking _Genesis_ was dead.

“It hasn’t been that long. You can’t be that different.”

“It has Zack, it’s been years. And—so much has happened. _So_ much. I—“

“No, Cloud, that’s enough,” Genesis cut in.

Cloud shook his head not looking at him, saying, “I have to, he deserves to _know_ , he should—“

“Not now, and not here,” Genesis insisted. “I think we have all had quite a nasty shock right now. We will explain everything that has happened, but Cloud, you’re in no state to do this at the moment.”

It was then that Cloud realized he was trembling, head to toe.

He nodded slowly, his eyes lingering on Zack still.

Zack and Angeal, meanwhile, looked baffled. They had never known Genesis to be the voice of reason. They had _certainly_ never seen him be so… protective.

It was another strike against Cloud for Angeal. He was having a very hard time remembering that any negative feelings were unjustified.

“Who the hell are you to make that decision for him?” Zack pressed, his voice waspish but not furious anymore.

Genesis calmly arched an eyebrow.

“I’m his boyfriend.”

Zack’s jaw dropped, and Cloud winced at the sight. Angeal just sighed heavily.

“Yes, yes—I’m the villain who seduced your precious, innocent beloved,” Genesis drawled, dodging out of the way as Cloud shot him a glare and tried to elbow him. “We can explain to you why that isn’t true, but later. Come along.”

He grabbed Cloud’s hand and tugged him forward, who sighed but followed along. Zack and Angeal watched mutely, unsure of what to do. Genesis brushed past them both, but gave Angeal a lingering look deep with longing. Cloud gave much the same look to Zack.

“Why should we listen to you?” Zack snapped.

“Do you really want to leave Cloud alone with me? Without your supervision? Who knows if I will have my wicked way with him again?” Genesis called, not bothering to look over his shoulder.

“ _Gen_ ,” Cloud scolded.

Angeal felt another flare of jealousy, and furiously tamped it down.

Zack began to stomp after them, Angeal sighing and falling in line beside him.

They formed two separate groups, Zack and Angeal following after Cloud and Genesis. The latter led them through the streets towards their home as they walked; it wasn’t far, as Cloud had chosen the border between Edge and Midgar to find his home.

They walked in silence. Everyone needed time to think, to process. To come to grips with the fact that the loves of their lives were really, truly alive. Zack had a chance to calm his temper.

And Gaia knows he needed it. He wasn’t exactly proud of how he had acted in the church, but insisted to himself that he hadn’t been unjustified in his thinking.

Walking in silence had been a good call.


	10. Chapter 10

The entire walk had been in silence. It was for the best, really. By the time Cloud got the door unlocked and led the way inside their home, everyone was a little calmer. Well, except Angeal, who had to watch Cloud and Genesis walk hand in hand with each other, and the way the contact helped Cloud slowly stop trembling and the line of tension in his shoulders lessen.

_“He thought I was dead, he thought I was dead, he thought I was dead,”_ Angeal reminded himself, forcing his eyes away every time.

Cloud had calmed considerably. He was still anxious, knowing no part of whatever came next would be easy, but much better after a calm moment and Genesis’s silent support. Genesis was able to help Cloud while doing some processing himself, and was able to settle his own internal panic that he had been carefully masking the entire time in the church. By the time they arrived home, he was almost optimistic, absolutely sure that they could find a way to work this out.

Zack was—well, he was at least calm now. He understood that the rape accusation had been a bit of a lot, but still felt it wasn’t an unfounded assumption, after what Genesis had done and the state he had last seen him in. But he was able to accept the facts as they were presented to him. Cloud was alive: that was excellent. Cloud was dating Genesis: that was not excellent, but after watching them carefully on the walk home and recalling what happened in the church, at least they seemed to genuinely care for each other. He wasn’t absolutely convinced that Cloud hadn’t been manipulated into the relationship, but he was willing to hear their story out.

“Gen, can you grab some extra chairs?” Cloud said, ushering Angeal and Zack into the two solitary chairs at their kitchen tables. They had long since dubbed the kitchen table as the sole spot in the house to have hard conversations, and it didn’t occur to Cloud to do this anywhere else.

Genesis began crossing the room and said, “Hall closet?”

“Yeah, they’re buried under some coats, but—“

“I know where they are, love,” Genesis said, some amusement in his tone as he turned down the hall.

Angeal’s jealousy sparked in his chest—he was the only one Genesis had ever called “love.” He had never thought he would ever hear it aimed at another.

Zack frowned; he had never used that particular pet name with Cloud, but he had given him others, and knew how fond Cloud was of them.

For all that Cloud claimed to be different, some things apparently didn’t change.

Cloud turned back, saw the looks on their faces, and his expression grew sheepish. He ruffled his hair, thinking nothing of the gesture that had long since become habit, but Zack noticed it. He was the one who did that, not Cloud, last time he checked. His frown turned into curiosity, and when Cloud noticed that, he turned away, mouthing a curse. Which was _also_ odd, because Cloud wasn’t one for swear words.

“Do you guys—uh, want anything? Water? Food, maybe—are you hungry?” Cloud asked, turning to rummage in the cabinets for something to do that wouldn’t have him looking at them.

“Water would be great,” Zack said; they had been struggling to find clean water, and had been reluctant to drink from the pool.

“No thank you,” Angeal said, refusing to accept help from Cloud.

Zack shot him a bewildered glance and said, “What? No, Geal, I know you’re thirsty.” He turned back to Cloud, who was now watching curiously over his shoulder, and said, “He’ll take a glass too.”

“ _Zack_ —“

“No, Angeal. Just because you can survive without it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be comfortable. You said you’d listen to me now.”

“About the world I don’t know about, not about survival tactics that _I_ taught _you_.”

“Then you should be willing to take your own advice.”

Cloud watched the whole exchange, his brow slowly furrowing as they went. Zack folded his arms over his chest and continued to stare Angeal down, so Cloud shook his head and went about getting them their water. The discussion had _almost_ seemed like they were more than student and teacher, more than the friends they may have become after, but surely he was reading too much into it. They couldn’t have been back from _wherever_ long enough for that. It couldn’t have been more than a month ago, because that was the last time Cloud went to the church, and they had definitely not been there. He made a habit of cleaning it before he left; he didn’t want to leave somewhere so meaningful covered in dust.

Cloud came back with the water, handing one to each of them from where they were sitting. Angeal had dragged his chair to sit next to Zack, which was curious. He would have thought that he’d want to sit next to Genesis. But Zack didn’t seem to question it either.

Before he could dwell too long on what must be happening between them, Genesis came back with the chairs and deposited them opposite the other pair, curious about their arrangement but ready to go along with it.

Cloud hesitantly sat in his seat. Seeing the tension back in his shoulders, Genesis ran his hand along his shoulder blades as he circled Cloud’s chair to get to his own, sitting himself next to him. Genesis glanced up at Angeal, and saw that he noticed. He was clearly trying to remain neutral, and it would fool Cloud, but Genesis knew him far too well. He could see the tiny downturn of one corner of his mouth. He wasn’t happy.

“ _You were gone for a decade_ ,” Genesis reminded himself firmly. “ _I did nothing wrong_.”

“Has Zack told you everything that happened, up to his alleged death?” Genesis asked Angeal, who nodded.

“He’s caught me up with what he knows.”

Genesis looked to Cloud and said, “Would you like me to tell it?”

Cloud shook his head and said, “No, you weren’t there, I should.”

“I know the details backwards and frontwards by now, love.”

Cloud sucked in a breath, blew it out, and firmly said, “No. It should come from me.”

It was a tone that brooked no argument. It wasn’t the commanding tone Angeal and Zack were used to using and hearing on the battlefield. It was simple, and unassuming, the kind where Cloud didn’t think he was above anyone else, just that he knew he had the final say.

Angeal and Zack’s eyes shot to Genesis, sure he would bristle at being commanded, no matter how calmly.

Genesis just crossed one knee over the other and said, “Very well. Don’t rush it, Cloud, you have time.”

Their eyes shot back to Cloud, unsure how _he_ would react, if he was the one who had just been giving orders. But he just nodded carefully and continued to stare at the tabletop.

“I left Zack on the cliffside—I was sure he was dead when I left him, but I was in such a haze. The mako poisoning had broken, but not fully lifted; I really was in no state to be wandering around by myself. I made it to Midgar, found my way to Sector 7, where an old friend of mine found me. It was Tifa, Zack, do you remember her?” Cloud asked, finally looking up at him.

Zack nodded slowly and said, “The guide in Nibelheim, right?”

“Right,” he said, then dropped his gaze again. “She recognized me, but I was all off. Not acting like what she remembered. I was acting like this sarcastic tough guy, and given I _have_ always been sarcastic, it was a stretch. I showed up in the SOLDIER First uniform Zack had put me in when we left the labs, and told everyone that I _was_ a SOLDIER First, or rather, ex-SOLDIER First, now mercenary for hire.

“I—I thought I was _you_ , Zack. I borrowed a lot of things from you, your gestures and mannerisms, then slapped the hardass personality I dreamt a SOLDIER would have over top. All my memories were from your perspective. I didn’t remember the labs at all. I thought I was a First, that Sephiroth took me to Nibelheim, he did what happened there, and then I headed for Midgar. I’m—shit, I’m _sorry_ , Zack. I disgraced your memory, acting like you all that time. I completely forgot you existed until I was broken out of it. I’m not—I’m not proud of what I did.”

Genesis took his hand under the table, and Zack leaned forward, aching to touch, but he couldn’t reach. No matter what Cloud said about being someone else, this was _all_ the Cloud he knew. Guilty, blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault, deeply ashamed. Needing help through it.

“Cloud, hey— _sunshine_ ,” Cloud’s eyes shot up with a sharp gasp at the old endearment, and Zack’s smile was fond and soft. “I’m not mad, okay? I’m glad I could help you, even in some small way, while I wasn’t around. I should have been there for you— _I’m_ sorry.”

Cloud shook his head, blinking at the tears that arose, saying, “Stop, you did everything you could, more than I could have ever asked for—“

“It wasn’t _enough_ , I should have—“

“Enough,” Genesis said, but his tone was gentle. “If we get bogged down in apologies every time someone feels something was done wrong, we’ll never finish this.”

Cloud sniffed and nodded, dashing the tears from his eyes. He composed himself quickly, which was _not_ something Zack was used to.

“Right. So, thinking I was you, I joined up with AVALANCHE—not the old one you guys knew, a different chapter. They brought me along as muscle to help them blow up reactors. Tifa was a member, she was my foot in the door. After we blew a reactor, I fell through the plate, down into the church, where I met Aerith.”

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Zack asked immediately.

As Cloud looked to one side, Angeal said, “Pup, let him talk.”

“Right, sorry,” Zack mumbled, watching now with concern as Cloud refused to look back toward either them or the table.

“She got wrapped up in our business—I’ll spare you the details, I don’t want us to be here all night. Shinra brought her in, but AVALANCHE felt like we owed her, she had done right by us. So we went in after her. We got captured, put into cells. We were trying to figure out how to escape when the door just opened. There was this huge trail of blood that led us up through the floors of the Tower to the very top, where we found President Shinra dead, impaled by Masamune.”

“What? Didn’t it fall in with Sephiroth?” Zack asked.

Cloud nodded solemnly, looking down at his lap now, where one hand plucked at the fabric of his pants.

“It did. But Sephiroth wasn’t really _gone_ after the reactor. I had been seeing him, hearing him since I left you on that cliffside.”

“How is that possible?” Angeal asked, his brow furrowed.

“Do you remember, Zack, when they used to talk about S cells, in the lab?”

Zack scowled, loath to remember that time at all, but said, “I remember.”

“Those were Sephiroth’s cells. The J cells were Jenova’s—who was not an Ancient, as Sephiroth thought, she’s an alien, a parasite. They were trying to turn us into clones of Sephiroth. It didn’t take well with you; you were already enhanced, and already had inert J cells in you from the process when you joined SOLDIER. The live ones they tried to give you didn’t take, and neither did the S cells. I was unenhanced, and mako sensitive—it all took just fine with me. But I retained a will of my own, so they said I was a failed experiment. They still thought they could turn it around, though; that’s why they kept working on me, all those years after they had given up on you.

“The process left me—open, to Sephiroth’s influence. I was susceptible. That’s more important for later, but it was why I kept seeing him. When we broke out of the Tower, we more or less headed out of the city. I managed to convince the rest of AVALANCHE that Sephiroth was a bigger threat than Shinra, and that we had to chase after him. I thought I was doing it because I hated Sephiroth with every part of me for what he did in Nibelheim, and that I was afraid he would do the same somewhere else.

“I was wrong. He led me by the nose around the world, dragging AVALANCHE with me, with the call of Reunion. Reunion is a trait inherent in anyone with live J cells in them. Jenova wants to bring all of the pieces of herself back together again, and uses the host to do that. Sephiroth was manipulating this ability she had to lead me along.

“His goal was to get something called the Black Materia. He tricked me into getting it for him—I thought I needed to get it to keep it safe from him, that if I had it, at least I would know he didn’t. I was an idiot. He was influencing my thought process, planting ideas in my head. The second we got it, he got me to give it to him. The S cells, they let him… force my hand. He would tell me to do something, and no matter how hard I fought, I did it anyway.”

“Cloud…” Zack muttered, sounding sad and distressed.

Cloud cleared his throat and turned his head to look at the upper corner where the walls met the ceiling. It was lost on no one that he hadn’t been able to maintain eye contact with anyone for this conversation.

“Anyway, I got him to give it back to me. I wondered for the longest time why he did that, but he was just demonstrating to me that he could make me do things. He proved the point by getting me to try and attack Aerith—it didn’t work, another person knocked me out before I could. When I woke up, Aerith was gone. The rest of AVALANCHE wanted to go after her, but I was afraid to. I thought I would be the weak link, now that we knew Sephiroth could control me. They talked me into going after her anyway.

“She ended up being in the City of the Ancients—we found out that she was the last one, but she actually _was_ , unlike Sephiroth who misunderstood where he came from. When we found her, she was on her knees, praying.”

Cloud looked back at his lap, his breath quivering.

“Cloud, do you need a break?” Genesis asked.

Cloud shook his head and began again, saying, “On the way there, Sephiroth had told me every chance he could that we needed to ‘take care’ of Aerith. I didn’t know what he meant until he got me to attack her. I was fighting so _hard_ , and I almost was able to fight it. But my friends were watching, and when I lost, and swung at her, they yelled. It snapped me out of it enough to get myself away.

“It wasn’t enough. I failed, but Sephiroth needed it done, so he did it himself. He dropped from above and ran her through.”

Zack stood up and walked away. He paced the little kitchen, as Cloud finally looked up, watching him. It took a while, but eventually, he came to sit back at the time.

“What happened next?” he growled. Cloud had to remind himself that the anger was for Sephiroth, not at his own failure to stop him. Or at least, he hoped so. Aerith had made it very clear that she didn’t blame him; he couldn’t be sure Zack felt the same.

“She died with a smile on her face. When she fell off the blade, a White Materia fell out of her hair, and into the lake below. We buried her in the lake, I can—I can take you to see her, sometime. If you want. Though she’s in the church a lot.”

“How?” Zack said, a furrow in his brow. “Did she actually live?”

“It’s, ah—it’s complicated. I’ll get there,” Cloud said. “We tracked Sephiroth up to the Northern Crater, but it was just the call of Reunion again. On the way up, we saw a bunch of figured in these black cloaks—turns out they were other Sephiroth clones, also following the call of Reunion. But they were sick, and mindless. Just drones. Sephiroth told us that his body wouldn’t be any good to him anymore, and we fought him, but it ended up being just another piece of Jenova. She can mimic things, so Sephiroth got it to look like himself, and then piloted it.

“That was when I knew things were going to be dangerous, so I gave the Black Materia to another member of AVALANCHE for safe keeping. We separated for a bit, some stuff happened I can tell you about later if you’re interested—the point is, when I reunited with this other member, Nanaki, I got him to give me back the Black Materia.

“Big mistake. We got a bit further, into a glacier, and there was Sephiroth—his actual body, half destroyed, encased in mako. He got me to hand over the materia, _again_. The WEAPONs began to stir—“

“WEAPONs?”

“Uh, I’ll go into it later. They’re big, meant to protect the Planet, and were encased in the ice. When I gave the Black Materia over, they woke, and when they broke out of the ice, the area fell apart. Everyone in the area got out but Sephiroth and I. I’m not entirely sure what happened to Sephiroth. I know that _I_ fell in the Lifestream, which is close to the surface in that area. Apparently I washed up on shore in Mideel. Some nurses were taking care of me, and Tifa stayed with me once she found me, but I was mako poisoned. Again.” Cloud gave a humorless little chuckle.

Genesis squeezed his hand as Zack said, “ _Cloud_ …”

Cloud waved his hand dismissively and leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling.

“One of the WEAPONs turned up in Mideel. It attacked, and AVALANCHE fought it, but it did some damage to the island. The Lifestream broke through the crumbling land, and Tifa and I fell in.”

“ _Again?_ ” Angeal said in horror.

Cloud grinned wryly and shrugged.

“I’ve got shit luck. Or maybe not, because while we were in the Lifestream, Tifa was able to get inside my head. She knew that something was off the whole time, y’know? She knew me from Nibelheim, knew I wasn’t the person I acted like, knew I remembered things I shouldn’t know and had forgotten things I _should_ know. She was able to pull me out of the Zack persona I had built, and got me back to myself, with my memories of Zack intact—or, at least most of them.”

“Most of them?” Zack immediately asked, obviously concerned.

Cloud shrugged and turned his eyes back to the tabletop.

“I’ve been mako poisoned a _lot_ Zack. Been dunked in the Lifestream too many times. The mako, it—it’s eaten big holes in my memory. I’ve only got scraps from my Shinra days, and they’re all of you. I’m sure there are things about you that I’ve forgotten, and I _hate_ that, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I didn’t recognize Genesis at all, not by sight or by name, when we met. Had no idea who Angeal was when Genesis brought him up.”

“Is that why the Buster Sword is in the church, then?” Angeal asked, his brow furrowed.

Cloud blinked and finally looked up at him.

“Huh? I put it there as a memorial to Zack. It’s safe there, and respected, and close to Aerith.”

Zack groaned and put his head in his hands. Cloud looked between him and Angeal in confusion.

“That sword—means a lot, Cloud. Probably more than you remember. Zack was sure you wouldn’t part with it willingly. He thought you were dead.”

Zack dropped his forehead to the table.

Angeal was having a hard time reminding himself that it wasn’t Cloud’s fault he forgot the meaning of the sword, and that he had been trying to be respectful in his own way. But in the back of his mind, it was another strike against him.

Cloud’s eyes widened and looked back to Zack.

“You thought I was _dead_?”

“I was so _sure_ ,” Zack mumbled against the table.

“Regardless of whatever assumptions were made, we’re all apparently quite well. Cloud, you should continue before we get sidetracked,” Genesis reminded.

Cloud sighed and looked back at his lap again.

“The purpose of the Black Materia is that, when it’s used, it summons a giant Meteor. Sephiroth’s plan was to smash it into Gaia, wipe us all out, and create this huge wound in the Planet. The Lifestream would flood to heal it, and Sephiroth planned to siphon the energy and turn himself into a god with it. Then he wanted to sail the cosmos with the husk of the Planet.”

“ _What?”_ Angeal said. “That sounds _nothing_ like Sephiroth.”

Cloud shrugged and said, “Gen said that too, but it sounds exactly like the Sephiroth I know. Anyway, it took us a while to figure out, but the White Materia that fell out of Aerith’s hair was the key to it all. It summons Holy, but only once the Planet has heard the caster’s wish. That’s what Aerith was praying for when she died. She was using Holy, and it had worked, but Sephiroth was preventing it from working. Her death had, at least, served a purpose.

“Sephiroth was holed up in the Northern Crater, which had this big barrier around it so we couldn’t reach it. Shinra was going to fire the Sister Ray at it to break it, but then one of the WEAPONs targeted Midgar. They aimed the Sister Ray at it, and it got through the WEAPON, and to the barrier, breaking that too. The only problem was that the WEAPON got off an attack, first, and hit Midgar. You saw the damage that did.

“Before we got up to the Northern Crater, we managed to kill Hojo—“

“Good, that rat bastard, I hope it was painful,” Zack bit.

“It was. But he told us the truth about Sephiroth—he always was a talkative little motherfucker. Turns out that Sephiroth’s mother, Lucrecia, injected Sephiroth with J cells while still in the womb. Hojo, being the father, obviously consented to that too. He was raised in the labs from there—I doubt it was as bad as what Zack and I got, because he was a prized specimen who they needed in good health, but I doubt it was pretty. Who knows how many J cells he ended up getting before they released him. I think him getting them so early was why he never physically degraded, the way you two did—I think it got to him mentally. He definitely was not a man with a healthy mind when I knew him.

“We ended up going to the Northern Crater, since the barrier was down. We fought Sephiroth. We won. Holy worked, once he was dead, the Meteor was destroyed, and that’s that part done.”

“Cloud, you should mention _who_ killed Sephiroth.”

“It was a team effort.”

“Not at the end, it wasn’t.”

“Who gives the final blow doesn’t matter.”

“It clearly matters to the civilian populace—do you want them to find out how I did?”

“Finding out from Tifa wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“My point stands; it should come from you. Go on.”

Cloud sighed in frustration and ruffled his hair, closing his eyes.

“Fine. I killed Sephiroth.” When the silence stretched, Cloud peeked up at Zack and Angeal, to see their mouths hanging open. He tossed up his hand and glared at Genesis, saying, “Happy now? They’re freaked out.”

“Cloud, you were a _trooper_ ,” Zack said in awe. “You’re so _small. How_ did you manage?”

Cloud shrugged and said, “He was wounded, by the time it was just the two of us.”

“Cloud, I swear, if you don’t stop selling yourself short—“ Genesis sighed.

“I’m not! He _was_ wounded.”

“No, the previous forms he had taken _had_ been wounded. He was fresh when you started.”

“But—“

“Unless you lied to me?”

“ _No_ , but—“

“No buts,” Genesis said, turning his gaze to Zack and Angeal. “I’ve sparred with him, and I’ve sparred with Sephiroth, and I can say with certainty that Cloud is the better swordsman.”

Angeal scoffed, an incredulous laugh on his lips as he said, “Genesis, don’t joke.”

Cloud frowned, not because he agreed with Genesis, but because Angeal seemed so ready to discount him.

“I’m happy to spar with you later, if you want, but can I finish this?”

“How is there _more?_ Sephiroth died,” Zack said.

“He died in the reactor too. Is it so surprising that he would come back a third time?” When his answer was silence, Cloud continued, “There was this sickness that started. Geostigma. It killed a _lot_ of people. I had it, and it wasn’t fun. There were also the Remnants, these like… scraps of Sephiroth, but their own distinct people at the same time. The Remnants were driven by Reunion, and ended up finding Jenova’s head.”

“Why wasn’t Jenova’s head destroyed, if you knew she was bad news?” Zack asked.

“Because Rufus Shinra is a scheming asshole who can’t learn a lesson even when it almost kills him. Point is, one of the Remnants got a hold of her head, and absorbed it. With a high enough concentration of J cells in one body, Sephiroth was able to possess it. We fought. I won. That’s the last I saw of him. Aerith made the water in the church, and it healed Geostigma.”

“Cloud, shouldn’t you mention what Yazoo—“

“No.”

“It’s significant—“

“Not really.”

“ _Cloud_ —“

“Look, I can tell them later. For now, I want to know what the hell happened to _them.”_

“Shouldn’t you tell us how you two got together?” Angeal said, and both Genesis and Zack were able to pick up on his waspish tone. Genesis knew with absolute certainty then that he was jealous, but Zack looked over at him in confusion.

“Quid pro quo, love,” Genesis said, staring him down, unrepentant. The endearment did make Angeal pause, though. “It’s your turn.”

Zack sighed and took over, saying, “There’s not that much to say. Shinra picked us up when we were nearly dead, like they did when we were in the reactor, Cloud. I woke up, I got us out, we went to Aerith’s church, because everything is ruined, and I thought that might be safe. We’ve been surviving by scrounging in the nearby area for supplies. We got out maybe a month ago.”

“Did you go in the water?” Cloud said, watching him with infinite seriousness.

Zack cleared his throat, remembering the first time they went in, and why.

“Uh, yeah. Should we not have? We didn’t know it was important, or healing, or anything.”

Cloud shook his head, but relaxed back against his chair.

“No, it’s fine, Aerith would understand the necessity. I was just going to make sure you went in, if you didn’t, yet. It stabilizes J cells, and I want you both to be healthy.”

“Well, that’s our turn,” Angeal said, avoiding bringing up his own, newfound relationship with Zack. “Quid pro quo, Genesis.”

Genesis sighed and pressed his free hand to the table, drumming his fingers for a second before he spoke.

“I met Cloud at—“

“ _Genesis!_ ” Cloud snapped in protest.

“Cloud, they ought to know.”

“They don’t need to!”

“Let me rephrase: _Zack_ ought to know. He needs to understand that you’re different. I think this will make it pretty clear.”

Cloud paused, then made a disgusted noise of frustration. He got out of his chair and went about getting himself and Genesis water, taking his sweet time about it. Genesis rested his elbows on the table and folded his hands.

“I met Cloud at a nightclub.”

“ _What?_ ” Zack said.

“We met at a club. We gravitated toward each other because we were both looking for someone to bring home for the night, and I’m sure you can both understand the draw of having a fellow SOLDIER in your bed.”

Cloud slammed a cabinet loudly behind him. His ears were red.

Zack was gaping at his back in shock.

“We were both in bad headspaces, at the time, and trying to cope as best we could. I’m sure you can understand from that story why Cloud was struggling. I had been cured by the goddess when you left me there, Zack. I slept for years—through Meteorfall, and Advent Day, when Sephiroth returned again, after that. When I woke, my degradation was cured, and I was myself again. I was deeply ashamed of my actions and drowning in guilt, but the parties I owed apologies to were all dead—or at least, I thought so. We both needed the comfort and the outlet, at the time.

“We began to grow more serious when I took up a job at Tifa’s bar, Seventh Heaven.”

“You’re a _bartender_ now?” Angeal asked, his eyebrows raised.

Genesis offered a wry smirk and said, “There’s no SOLDIER anymore, Angeal, and I had bills to pay. I ran into Cloud there, as he often comes to help out, and is very close with Tifa besides. We grew closer, but neither of us wanted to admit it. We had you both on these pedestals, you see. Cloud had sworn he would never love again, that his heart was Zack’s alone, and refused to enter a romantic relationship.”

Zack’s eyes remained locked on Cloud’s back as he fussed with the glasses, but his gaze was soft, now.

“I had promised myself that, even if I loved again, it would never be the same. That Angeal was the true one for me, and anyone else would have to be content with second place. We never _forgot_ you, or moved on, really. It was just that it had been a decade since I had seen Angeal, and about half that long since Cloud saw Zack die. We couldn’t stay locked in the past and wallow for the rest of our lives. We knew—or at least we _thought_ , that you would both prefer us to be happy in your absence. We decided to try being happy together. We agreed that we weren’t asking each other to leave our lost loves behind, or that you would mean anything less. But that doesn’t mean we don’t both love each other.”

Cloud returned with the water, setting one down in front of Genesis who mumbled a thank you, and the other in front of his own seat. He refused to look up at either of the men across the table, regardless of how Zack was staring at him as he sat down.

“So you can see, Angeal, you’re being quite boorish with this petty jealousy of yours. _I’m_ supposed to be the immature one, between the two of us.”

Angeal scowled and folded his arms over his chest, but didn’t apologize, or make excuses. Cloud’s head shot up to look at him, his brow furrowed. Zack was looking at him in bewilderment.

“Geal, you aren’t _really_ , right?” Zack said. “I mean, that’s a little hypocritical, isn’t it?”

“Zack, drop it.”

“You’re not my mentor anymore, remember?”

“No, please, enlighten us, Zack,” Genesis said, leaning forward. “What is so hypocritical about it?”

“Well, we’re—“

“ _Zack_.”

“Oh, shut up, Angeal. We’ve been together since the day we broke out. We both thought you were dead—I thought you died when I left you, Genesis, and I was sure the sword there must have been a memorial to Cloud. I think we needed to know we weren’t alone, and we already cared about each other. I’d had a crush on Angeal for ages, and he mentioned he had felt the same—that you encouraged it, Genesis, and his honor was what held him back. It didn’t make sense not to, at that point.”

Genesis rolled his eyes, but was smiling. Cloud stared in shock for a long, long moment. Then he slumped back in his chair and began laughing, much longer and harder than he usually did, even if it sounded slightly hysterical. He covered his eyes with one hand.

“Cloud? Are you alright?” Genesis asked, immediately sitting up and setting one hand on his shoulder.

Cloud waved him away and sat upright again, wiping his eyes with a few last chuckles.

“Sorry, it’s just—it took us _months_ , and we had all this angst to go with it, and you two just got right to it. I feel a lot less guilty now.”

Zack and Genesis smiled at him, but Angeal’s arms were still folded.

He knew—he _knew_ that they had a point. That he was being completely illogical and out of bounds. He got it. He just couldn’t stop his emotions. And his jealousy-brain was not happy to see both Zack and Genesis looking at Cloud that way.

Without even looking over, Genesis stood up to be able to reach, and flicked Angeal between the brow.

“Stop sulking,” he said once he sat down and looked over at the man rubbing his brow. “Cloud isn’t going to steal us both from you. Firstly, because I still love you, and I think Zack might as well, though I don’t know if he’s said it yet. Secondly, because, if you knew Cloud at all, you’d know he would sooner dump us both and run off to be miserable on his own in order to force us back into your arms, than take us for himself.”

Angeal looked at Cloud, disbelieving. Cloud raised his eyebrows, offered a self-deprecating smile, and shrugged one shoulder.

“I mean, yeah. In a heartbeat.”

Genesis reached over to pat Cloud’s hand and said, “We’re still working on his self-esteem and extreme selflessness.”

“So, then, what does this mean? For all of us?” Zack asked, a worried wrinkle between his brow now.

“Well,” Genesis said, “I have a proposition. I will not leave Cloud, and I don’t expect you to leave each other. But I think we all still love our old partners. I suggest that Angeal and I, and Zack and Cloud spend some time together. You two may have just woken from stasis, but it has been years for Cloud and I, and we’re quite different. I think we should figure out how we fit together now, before we take any next steps. Angeal and Cloud, and Zack and I should also spend time together—if this is the other person our two loves have chosen, then we ought to be at least friendly if not more.”

“And from there?” Angeal asked, ambivalent.

“If we all fit together well, I don’t see why we shouldn’t just all be together. Either as our current relationships and our previous ones, with Zack and I, and Angeal and Cloud just as just friends, or all four of us together.”

“ _Genesis_ ,” Angeal started.

Genesis held up a hand, saying, “Yes, I know. Years ago, I brought up the idea of seeing other partners to Angeal, as long as we approve of said partners. We have no experience with this. I’m not saying it will be easy, or that feelings will not be hurt. I’m saying that our current relationships and our old ones are clearly very important to all of us, and there’s no sense in trying to pick between the two when we can just have both. Are we all willing to try?”

Cloud nodded readily—Genesis wasn’t surprised at that at all. Cloud was used to having many partners, even if just for sex, and still loved Zack deeply. Zack was a little more hesitant, but still agreed; he’d had occasional flings before Cloud, but never to the scale of Cloud’s adventures, but he thought this was worth a try. Angeal was the most reluctant. He wasn’t sure he could get over his admittedly unjustified dislike of Cloud. But with Genesis and Zack looking at him expectantly, and Cloud looking at him challenging, as if daring him to walk away from this, he finally agreed.

“Excellent,” Genesis said before standing. “Then we should start now. Zack and Cloud, you can stay down here. I’ll take Angeal upstairs, and we’ll talk.”

Genesis held his hand out with a flourish to Angeal, whose frown dissolved into amusement as the familiar sight. He took his hand and stood, allowing Genesis to lead him away.

“Hands to yourselves, boys!” Genesis called over his shoulder. “I don’t want anyone fucking anyone they didn’t agree to date when we all thought the others dead! That’s for when we have this sorted out.”

“Awww, Gen,” Zack said, but his tone was light and teasing. Genesis grinned over his shoulder at him.

“Maybe that’ll motivate you to make this work.”

Cloud rolled his eyes, but Zack laughed. Genesis continued leading Angeal upstairs, and they distantly heard a door shut.

Cloud looked at Zack. Zack looked at Cloud.

They had _no_ idea where to begin.


	11. Chapter 11

The silence stretched awkwardly between them.

Zack spun his glass of water idly between his palms. Cloud tapped his index finger against the table. They stared at each other for a while, searchingly, sure that the answer to how to start was just around the corner.

When it became apparently that it was coming to neither of them, Zack slurped loudly from his glass of water. Cloud didn’t burst into laughter, the way the version of him Zack remembered would have. But he did huff a laugh, one side of his mouth ticking upward. His finger stopped tapping, his palm pressing flat to the table.

It was different enough from what he expected to happen that it brought Zack’s mind immediately to the _other_ piece of striking newness he had learned of.

“So,” he blurted, his mouth running without his thought behind it. “A nightclub, huh?”

The smile fell from Cloud’s face. He pursed his lips and looked away.

“Sorry,” Zack said, almost in the same breath. “That didn’t come out right. It’s just—sounds more like me, than it does you.”

Cloud’s eyes shifted back to Zack, but his gaze was wary. His brows pinched together.

“What do you mean?”

“I used to have these flings, before we met. Nothing that meant anything, just scratching an itch. And I like dates, y’know? Getting to know people, the romantic gestures, the flirting. It’s fun, right?”

Cloud hummed then in understanding. This was Zack extending an olive branch, trying to say that something Cloud was clearly ashamed of wasn’t that bad. Cloud wanted to let him have it—it was a nice gesture, after all. Sweet of him. But Cloud didn’t have it in him to be dishonest, after all this time.

“I wouldn’t know. You were the last person I dated like that.”

Zack’s brow furrowed.

“What do you mean?”

Cloud shrugged, and his fingers went back to tapping. It was a gesture he had picked up from Genesis. His worst nervous tic may have come from Zack in the form of ruffling his hair, but he was a sponge for people’s gestures, these days. In his best humor, he wondered if maybe it was from too many dips in the Lifestream, the mako eating at his identity. In his worst, he thought maybe it was Jenova’s penchant for mimicry coming out in him. He held his arm, one hand wrapped around his other elbow, when he was extremely uncertain: that one had come from Tifa. When he concentrated too deeply, especially while explaining something to someone else, he sometimes thumbed at his nose, as if wiping off dust or grease: this was from Cid.

He had been unaware that he did this, until Yuffie had pointed it out by suggesting they make a drinking game out of it. Any time someone recognized a gesture that belonged to someone else, they took a drink. If it had come from anyone else, Cloud might have been a little hurt, or felt like the butt of some joke. But this was Yuffie’s way of making sure he knew, giving him a chance to get acquainted with the gestures he had borrowed, and trying to make him feel included, all with a dash of humor on top. She could be thoughtful, in her own way, and Cloud was glad he knew her well enough at that point to see it. He was glad she brought it to his attention, especially because he relied on borrowed gestures the more tense he was.

Sometimes he wondered if he had picked anything up from Genesis. He had yet to notice the finger-tapping. Perhaps because Genesis had just been doing it, Cloud found himself repeating the gesture often, in this conversation with Zack.

“I didn’t go on dates, Zack. I just hooked up. It took Genesis and I a good while before we went on a proper date, too, so I’m not sure that counts very much. I knew him pretty well by the time we got to that point.”

Zack’s brow furrowed.

“I know he said it was a coping thing, but it couldn’t have _just_ been sex, right? You talked to them, got to know them enough to know they’d be safe to bring home?”

Cloud snorted a laugh, but it was mirthless.

“There was no point in bothering. Everyone but Genesis were unenhanced civilians. They could have done their worst and it barely would have tickled. Safety wasn’t a concern.”

Zack sat back in his chair, scrubbing a hand across his mouth in thought.

“Right. Sorry, I… it’s hard to remember that you don’t need someone looking out for you anymore.”

Cloud smiled, and this time it was a little softer.

“Don’t let Tifa hear you say that. She’s pretty sure I do. Just maybe not in a fight.”

Zack felt his brow pinch in worry, but decided to come back to that later.

“So you just had short conversations?”

Cloud sighed and ruffled his hair; he really was not going to let go of this hope until Cloud shot it down properly.

“Zack, I said maybe ten words to Genesis before I pulled him to a barely hidden corner of the club to blow him.”

Zack’s eyes turned to saucers. He sat up straighter in his chair.

“I, uh… wow. I would’ve thought he came onto you.”

“He came up to me first, yeah. I was the one who dragged him to the bathrooms, and then when we couldn’t get in there, a spot I knew in the club that would work.”

“You _knew_ a spot?”

Cloud sighed and shrugged, saying, with no humor, “I turned out to be a big slut. Surprise, Zack.”

Zack frowned and leaned forward in his chair, saying, “No, hey, I didn’t mean it like that. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Cloud tilted his head and a disbelieving little smirk took his lips.

“What did you mean it like, then?”

Zack opened his mouth, and then shut it. He frowned.

“You know what I mean.”

“Sure, you didn’t expect it from me because the image of me in your head is too pure for that.”

Cloud was used to people thinking he was better than he was, now. The public’s perception of him was practically saint-like. He understood that the reason why _Zack_ might think he was more innocent than he was would be very different, but it was still a perception he was accustomed to dealing with.

Zack shook his head and said, “I know damn well that you can be a little pervert when you want to be.”

Cloud blinked in surprise. He got a flash of himself dragging Zack into a broom closet, of him riding Zack full of determination, of him nuzzling against Zack’s cock, slick with his own spit, undeterred by the mess it was making of his own face. He blushed a little—okay, maybe Zack had a point.

He coughed and looked to one side, saying, “Then explain it, ‘cause I don’t get it.”

“You were… softer, then. Shyer. Sure, you could be big and bold with me, behind closed doors, but never with anyone else. I get that you’ve hardened since then—I can see it in every move you make. I guess it’s just harder to track how _battle_ got you… there.”

Cloud nodded his understanding, tapping his fingers again in thought.

“It wasn’t just battle. Part of it was pretending to be you for so long. Part of it was how I tried to protect myself from Sephiroth. But a really big part of it was getting to know so many people. I met and had to deal with a _lot_ of people during Meteorfall. I made more friends than I’ve ever had before. I’ve wrapped my head around how to deal with other people better, and it made strangers easier to deal with. Especially when the encounter damn near has a script, the way getting someone to go home with you does.”

Zack looked at him wonderingly, but nodded slowly. This made sense to him. _This_ was still Cloud; just one that had been molded by his experiences. He could follow the path from point A to point B with that context.

“I want to meet these friends of yours.”

Cloud blew out a slow breath and tousled his hair.

“I think you’re gonna have to, if you’re going to stick around. Tifa especially, but the others too; I’ll have to call them in. I need to talk to them first. They know about the—the cliff, but not the… rest. A couple of them will need some time to get used to the idea that we had been together. Gaia, Yuffie’s gonna have something to say about me having been shacked up with a SOLDIER…” Cloud rubbed at his brow and sighed.

“Is that gonna be a problem?”

Cloud waved his hand dismissively: a gesture from Vincent, this time.

“They’ll get over it, it just might take some of them more time than others. It’ll take longer for them to get over Angeal. They only forgave Genesis as much as they did because we’re together—Angeal’s in for a lot of shit. I mean, if he wants to meet them. I guess he could skip, he’s not, uh, particularly invested in me.”

“He’ll come around, Cloud.”

Cloud shrugged and drummed his fingers against the table.

“He doesn’t have to, and I don’t really expect him to. I love you, Zack, and you’ve always meant the world to me, but we weren’t _together_ for very long. Angeal and Genesis, they’ve been together since they were kid, and I… don’t know how I feel about coming between that. I have to talk to Genesis about it, later.”

Zack rested his chin in his palm, his elbow on the table.

“So, what’s the plan, then? You talk Genesis into getting back with Angeal, and then what?”

Cloud stared at the table, his fingers still beating a staccato pattern against the wood.

“I dunno. Obviously, I wouldn’t ask you to leave him. You’ve probably had feelings for him longer than you have for me. I don’t know that I have the right to stop that, either.”

Zack’s tone was morose when he said, “Genesis was right. You really want to run off and be miserable by yourself.”

Cloud sighed and pressed his palm to the table. He slid it down the wood until he dropped it into his lap, where he began plucking at the fabric of his shirt and pants—an old, old gesture, and actually one of his own.

“That’s not the point, Zack. I just want everyone to be happy.”

“I don’t think I could be happy without you.”

“You could. You were planning on it, when you thought I was dead.”

Zack shook his head and said, “Okay, let me rephrase: I don’t think I could be happy without you, not knowing that you’re out there somewhere. _Especially_ not knowing that you’re out there, alone, coping gods know how well.”

“You don’t need to worry about how I cope.”

“Well someone should, and I’m not convinced that someone will be you.”

Cloud huffed and looked away, folding his arms over his chest: a classic Barret move.

“I cope fine.”

“I’m sure you do, sometimes. It just doesn’t seem like that’s the case all the time.”

Cloud frowned and did something he did rarely. It was something he mostly did with Tifa: he felt infinitely safe with her, and she was one of the only people who nagged him about his health like this. He also did it with Genesis, who was another person who made him feel safe, and who would not hesitate to get on his case about coping poorly. Any time someone he didn’t feel the need to protect himself from backed him into a corner this way, he did the same thing.

He lashed out.

“How would you know? You haven’t been here.”

Zack sat upright in his chair, looking like he’d been slapped.

Cloud winced and dropped his arms from where they were folded and scooted forward in his chair.

“Shit, I—I’m sorry, Zack, I didn’t mean that—“

Zack held up a hand and said, “No, Cloud, I ought to apologize.”

Cloud gave a disbelieving laugh and said, “For what? Giving your life to protect me?”

“For not being there when you needed me, yes.”

Cloud shook his head firmly.

“Absolutely not. I don’t want you to apologize for saving my life. What happened was _Shinra’s_ fault, and I’m going to be decking Rufus next time I see him for either not telling me about you and Angeal, or for letting something this big fall through the cracks. Either way, he’s got a black eye in his future.”

Zack blinked in surprise, then offered a surprised laugh.

“Never thought I’d see the day you could threaten Rufus Shinra and actually follow through. Do you _know_ him?”

“Unfortunately. He’s better than he was—his ego may be huge still, but it was definitely knocked down a peg with Meteorfall. He understands Shinra’s got a lot to answer for, and is trying to pay back the debt to the Planet where he can.” Then Cloud offered a smile and added, “He still doesn’t know I’m the one who fucked up his inauguration parade, though.”

It shocked a laugh out of Zack, who said, “You _what?_ ”

Cloud chuckled himself and said, “Yeah, I was trying to stow away on his ship to get to Costa. I got mistaken for an out-of-uniform trooper in the barracks and was ordered to get in the uniform. I figured it’d help me sneak in, so I put it on, but I got dragged into the parade. Had no godsdamn idea what I was doing—I went out there and I really was trying my best, but the whole thing went sideways in half a minute. I _tanked_ his ratings, I can only imagine how pissed he was at the time.”

The little smirk Cloud gave was proud, and Zack found his heart fluttering. It was something he’d seen a thousand times, with every new technique he had mastered back when Zack had been training him. The smile Zack gave him in return was much softer, a little out of place with the story. Cloud noticed and tilted his head in curiosity.

“Good,” Zack said, instead of addressing it. “Serves the little bastard right. Never liked him.”

Cloud smiled back, saying, “Don’t get me wrong, he really has improved. He’s just, uh—okay, he’s still kind of a bastard. I don’t know how he hasn’t found out it was me by now.”

Zack grinned brightly and said, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Cloud had his own flashback, to Zack sneaking him food and equipment he wasn’t supposed to have, to Zack sneaking him out past curfew, to Zack and him together, kissing in some barely hidden spot, where it was more luck than cover that kept them hidden: Zack had said that to him dozens of times. Cloud’s expression went soft, much the way Zack’s had just a little bit ago.

“I really missed you,” Cloud said, his voice much softer than it had been. Zack’s eyes went sad at the edges.

“I missed you like I’d miss lungs, when I thought you were dead. I don’t know how you did it for so long, before you found Genesis.”

Cloud looked down at his lap. He plucked at his pants again.

“I mean, there were reasons to stick around, with Meteorfall and Advent Day— _someone_ had to do something about Sephiroth. But when it was over, what was my option: give up? As far as I knew, you _died_ for me, I couldn’t disgrace that by quitting. I’d be a shitty living legacy if I wasn’t living anymore.”

The sadness from the edges of Zack’s expression seeped in to cover all of it.

“I didn’t—I just meant, I dunno how you weren’t miserable. It… sounds like you’ve given _that_ more thought than I would like.”

Cloud pursed his lips, cursing himself silently for giving himself away while looking to the side. He shrugged as casually as he could.

“I _was_ miserable, that’s why. For a lot of reasons, but missing you was a constant ache.” Cloud chuckled humorlessly and said, “I can’t tell you how many times someone stormed out of my bed, because I was too busy pretending they were you and called them your name.”

From the corner of his eye, Cloud saw Zack reach his hand out across the table, clearly looking for Cloud’s own. He sighed and took it, looking contrary about it, but softened when Zack lifted his hand to kiss Cloud’s knuckles. He glanced back at Zack, who smiled softly at him, even if his eyes were still sad.

“I’m back, now, and I’m not leaving you.”

Cloud sighed in impatience and said, “ _Zack_ —“

Zack shook his head.

“ _No_ , Cloud. I’m not leaving you behind.”

He shook his head, still looking firmly to one side.

“I don’t want to—“

“Cloud. _Cloud_. Look at me, please?”

Cloud closed his eyes and sighed. After everything, he felt he owed Zack too much to deny him anything, especially something so small. He turned to look back at him, his expression schooled into something neutral. It faltered as Zack cradled his hand between two of his own, his thumbs brushing over the skin tenderly.

“What?” Cloud said, an attempt at brusqueness in his tone, but it was still just that: an attempt.

“You’re not coming between anyone. I saw how Genesis was with you—he loves you, deeply. I don’t believe for a second that you didn’t change him for the better, because he is _not_ the man I used to know. He’s not going to just ditch you, and there was never any chance I was going to either. I care about Angeal, a lot, maybe I even love him, but I _need_ you.”

Cloud shook his head, watching their hands now.

“You’d move on, with time.”

“Did you?”

Cloud pursed his lips.

“I got with Genesis.”

“That’s not what I asked. Did you move on?”

Cloud frowned outright this time.

“No, but you would.”

“What, do you think I love you less?”

“No, I just… Everyone missed you, when you were gone. Aerith tried to bring you up with me, when I knew her. Tseng even talked to me about you, one night after too many drinks at Tifa’s. People don’t just _move on_ from someone like you.”

Zack’s hands tightened around his own. There was a long pause that stretched so far that Cloud peeked up at Zack, who looked almost mournful.

“For all that you’ve changed, in some ways, you’re still the exact same. How can you save the world twice and not think that you’re memorable?”

“Memorable, maybe. I’m pretty sure the only reason there aren’t statues of me is because I threatened Rufus when he first brought it up. And, if I died, people would mourn. But they’d get over it, after a bit. Even Tifa. Even Genesis.”

_Even you_ , Cloud didn’t say, but added with his eyes, as he looked up at Zack.

He could watch Zack’s heart break for him.

He looked away.

He didn’t look back when he felt Zack kiss his knuckles, then his fingertips, then the lines of his palm.

“Never,” Zack swore with infinite seriousness. “They’ll bury me before I move on from you.”

Cloud sighed and said, “ _Zack_.”

“No, Cloud. I’ll tell you as many times as it takes. You’re gonna need a crowbar to pry me off if you want to get rid of me. Don’t even think about chasing me back to Angeal and running away—I’d run circles around the Planet to find you again. Okay?”

Cloud looked back to Zack, and all of his usual mirth was gone. This was the Zack he remembered in snippets from after the lab. The one who had carried him over continents, who refused to leave him behind, who fought tooth and nail against overwhelming odds for his sake. This was the Zack he remembered, who had lost far, far too much.

He wouldn’t make Zack lose anything else.

“… Okay.”

“Are you saying that because you believe I want to stay with you?”

“It might be what you want, yeah.”

_Not what’s best for you, or what you’ll always want, but I can’t say no to you_ , Cloud thought.

“And it’s what you want?”

Cloud’s expression turned incredulous; he couldn’t believe Zack had to ask.

“Of course.”

“Then no one’s going anywhere. What you and Genesis do is between you, but this, at least, you can depend on. You might be different, Cloud Strife, but you’re still you. At your core, in all these ways I don’t think you even recognize, you’re still the man I fell in love with. And I don’t want to lose you, not again.”

Cloud softened, the hand that was in his lap finally reaching out and cupping Zack’s, the way Zack’s were cupping his.

“You won’t.”

Cloud may have broken a lot of promises in his day, but this one, this one he was going to keep.


	12. Chapter 12

Genesis led Angeal into a moderate sized bedroom. There were nightstands on either side of the unmade bed, both with lamps: one had a book of poetry and an empty wine glass, the other a book propped open with a jar of sword oil over the spine to keep it flat, showing a diagram of an engine and a lot of scrawled notes in the margins, with a pen at one side. 

The dresser was simple and made of light wood, with a scattering of items across the top. A catch-all dish with a handful of gil and an elemental materia in it, a few crumpled receipts, a stack of books and binders with labels like “INVOICES” and “ORDER LOG” on their spines. There was a map tacked to the wall with a pushpin in it at Junon and a post-it that said: “Delivery #739.” There were dozens of holes from where the pushpin had been previously. At the center of the dresser, in a burnished golden frame with many curls and flourishes that looked like it came from a craft store, was what appeared to be a newspaper clipping of Genesis and Cloud kissing. 

Tucked into the frame of the mirror attached to the dresser were a handful of glossy photos. One showed Cloud smirking, with one blurry hand extended in an attempt to cover the lens before the shot was taken. One was clearly candid, showing Genesis smiling at a bar patron, tossing a cocktail shaker deftly in the air without looking at it. Another showed Cloud bent over, wiping down a table, looking over his shoulder with an exasperated smile and flipping off the camera. There was a shot of Genesis leaning his chin in one hand, elbow propped on some restaurant table, a candle between him and the photographer, giving the camera his best smolder. 

The last showed Cloud and Genesis side by side, effortlessly holding a child each. Cloud held a boy with his foot in one hand, so he was standing upright in Cloud’s palm with his free leg outstretched for his precarious balance, just like his wheeling arms. Genesis held the girl upside down by one ankle like a prized fish catch. Both children were clearly screaming with laughter, and Genesis bore a broad grin. Cloud was clearly trying to stifle his own amusement, his mouth pressed together but tilted up at one side, his shoulders slightly curled like he was fighting down laughter. 

Angeal took this all in, his stomach turning into lead as he did. They really had built a life together. Hell, they apparently had  _ kids _ , though gods only knew where they were. 

It should have been the life  _ he _ had with Genesis. 

Genesis, who watched him take this in slowly, before rolling his eyes and clicking his tongue impatiently. He grabbed Angeal by the hand and dragged him to the bed, shoving him outright to make him sit. He dropped onto the rumpled bedspread next to him, folding one knee in front of himself so he could face Angeal. 

“Go on, then. Air your grievances—you clearly have them.”

Angeal stared back at Genesis, whose gaze was clearly challenging. He had never been one to back down from that, and it was something Genesis had always loved about him. It also was an easy way to goad Angeal into answering him, and he wasn’t about to not take advantage of that fact. 

“You have a life with him.”

“I do.”

“It’s the life I always wanted with you.”

Genesis softened then. He reached out and curled one hand softly around Angeal’s wrist. 

“‘My friend, the fates are cruel.’ Life didn’t happen how we dreamed when we were children, Angeal. It wasn’t meant to be, that you and I would have this peace first. But we can have it now. We can all have it together.”

Angeal looked toward the wall, fighting back his frown. 

“And if I don’t want it all together?”

“Do you care so little for Zack? Would you drop him in the same breath I asked you to?”

Angeal lost his battle; a frown formed on his face. 

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then why do you ask me to do that to Cloud?”

“He’s… Zack was with us, before. You wanted to include him before. I don’t know a thing about Cloud—it’s not asking as much of you, for you to accept Zack.”

“Perhaps, but it asks more of me to leave Cloud than it does you to leave Zack.”

Angeal shot him a sharp look. Genesis’s thumb passed soothingly over his wrist, but he didn’t look apologetic. 

“Are you saying you love Cloud more than I love Zack?”

“That could well be, but I don’t know that. What I do know, is that Cloud has been in my life for over nine months. We have been dating formally for six. Much of my life, now, is built to include him. You have spent a month, completely uprooted, squatting in a church with Zack. I don’t deny that it was meaningful to you. I’m saying that cutting Cloud out of my life would be more difficult. But the  _ point _ is that no one should have to cut out anyone else.”

Angeal could see the argument he was making, and just scowled harder at its clear logic. 

When it became clear he wasn’t going to answer, Genesis said, “You never thought you’d have to share me with a stranger—I understand that. But Cloud is many, many things that I  _ know _ you would come to love. I’ve spent hours, imagining the two of you together.”

“I’m not indulging your threesome fantasy right now, Genesis.”

“That isn’t what I meant. Cloud can be tricky to handle. If you approach him wrong, he’ll run, in one way or another. He needs the calm, quiet assurance you have. He needs someone to be firm with him, but kindly. He needs someone to reel in his self-destruction, when it comes to that. I have been those things for him, but it was your memory that taught me how. You would be so good for him. He would be so good for you.”

Angeal scoffed despite the way he softened some. 

“Those are all ways that I can help him.” It was unlike Angeal to be this selfish, usually, but he understood that the only one responsible for his well-being was himself. He had to be sure he was taken care of, so he could take care of others. He felt safe showing that selfishness to Genesis, who understood the reasons behind it. He knew it wouldn’t push him away to show that he had needs that had to be taken care of. He couldn’t be in a one sided relationship. 

“I know how much you get out of taking care of someone else, love—it’s what you did with me for years. He needs to be wrangled, much as I used to, and as much as you may groan about it, you feel fulfilled when you do that. I know exactly how much it would make your heart swell, to help him heal.

“But, no, you’re right. I won’t ask you to do this just so you can help him—he isn’t a charity case, and can get on perfectly fine without you. But he has that same quiet calm you have, when he isn’t in distress. He has Sephiroth’s sense of humor that I know you love—but never tell him I said that. And he has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. I swear, sometimes his love feels as deep as the Lifestream, and as likely to swallow you whole. Verbal affection is like pulling teeth with him, but once you know where to look, it’s blinding. I know you would love every moment where you realized a gesture or offhand comment means so much more than you thought at first. You just have to give him a  _ chance _ .”

Angeal listened while staring at the wall. His face slowly softened as he did so. Those did all sound like things that would draw him. He was sure that, in other circumstances, he would have been pulled in like a moth to flame. But he was much less sure that he’d ever be able to forgive Cloud for building with Genesis what he’d always wanted. 

He shook his head, saying, “I don’t know that I can just turn the jealousy off like that.”

Genesis sighed and withdrew his hand. 

“I’m not demanding that you fall in love with him; I have no right, and I understand that love doesn’t work that way. I only ask that you tolerate him. I do think that, with time, you’ll come to care. But even if you don’t—I can’t just slip back into the niche I carved out with you. I’m not that man anymore.”

“But you can be that man for Cloud?”

“No, Cloud doesn’t ask me to. He and I love each other, with these new versions of ourselves that we’ve worked so hard for. He isn’t who Zack knew. I’m not who you knew. But Cloud and I know each other, and our relationship works. He made me grow, the way you did before.”

Genesis looked up at Angeal’s profile, who was still busy studying the blank closet doors. 

“Do you think you’ve grown beyond what we had?”

“I think we have to relearn how we fit together. I still love you, Angeal, with every beat of my heart, but what I’ve been trying to say is that I don’t know that you’ll be able to love  _ me _ .”

At that, Angeal finally looked back at Genesis, concern clear on his face. It wasn’t the kind of vulnerable statement Genesis readily made. Usually, it would have come with scoffing, or bravado, or some other attempt to cover how much he might be hurt by whatever was said next. It wasn’t like him to just say it, clear as day, and meet Angeal’s worried look with an open gaze, ready to accept wherever the cards fell.

It might be like the man Genesis had become, though, and perhaps that was the point. 

“I’ll always love you, Genesis,” Angeal said softly, reaching out to take his hand. Genesis squeezed it gently. 

“You might not. Angeal, I don’t have to be… wrangled, the way you’re used to. I learned to do that myself, and what outlets to use when I can’t anymore, and need a break. In many ways, Cloud needs me to be who you were to me. I’m comfortable doing that, now, I’m happy to be that person for him. He returns my support much better than I returned yours—one of the many things I owe you an apology for. When you find I’m not as… dependent, as I used to be, you may not like it.”

Angeal’s brow furrowed as he said, “You’ve never been dependent, Genesis.”

“Of course I have. I needed you to be my rock, the eye in the center of my storm. I couldn’t ground myself, and relied on you to do that for me. You were my conscience and my voice of reason. You were the one who got me out of literal and metaphorical trouble when I was in over my head, and you were the person it was safe for me to lash out against, because you knew I didn’t mean it, and weren’t going to leave. You spoiled me, Angeal—you let me get away with too much. 

“But then you were gone. All that support was ripped out from under me, and I only had myself to blame. I spent all that time knowing I had all but killed you myself. I was leaden with grief and guilt and there was no one who was willing to put up with my shit. So I learned control. I figured out how to remember what you would do, to be my own voice of reason. I learned how to center myself. I found other outlets for my emotions. 

“And then there was Cloud, who needed a rock, the way you were mine. He needed a voice of reason. He needed someone to center him. I looked at him and saw all the things I fought so hard to work past. Maybe one day, he won’t need me to be those things for him anymore. But I’ll be able to be there for the process, to change with him as he grows. We’ll have time to readjust and learn how to keep fitting together. 

“We didn’t have time, Angeal. You weren’t able to be here for that process. I don’t know if we’ll be able to learn how to fit together again. I just know that I want to try.”

Angeal looked at Genesis softly—for all that he may have changed, he still had a penchant for impassioned speeches. He ran his thumb along Genesis’s knuckles as he listened. 

“I won’t give up on you,” Angeal said. “Even if you’re different. Even if the price of that is accepting your relationship with Cloud. I’d rather learn to live with him than live without you.”

Genesis’s expression softened. He smiled gently and twisted their hands to kiss Angeal’s palm. 

“Thank you. I promise, you won’t regret this. I really think you’ll grow to love him.”

Angeal’s smile grew a little strained. 

“Let’s not bank on that, okay?”

Genesis nodded, but the hope in his eyes didn’t dim. 

“I won’t press. Just try to keep an open mind.”

Angeal nodded slowly, and kept his doubt to himself. 

“I’ll try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little short!!!


	13. Chapter 13

Cloud and Genesis had no need to discuss it: when Cloud offered their home to Angeal and Zack, and the two had looked to Genesis to check, he had only quirked an expectant brow. Angeal had half a protest on his lips, but the second he went to voice it, Cloud gave him that challenging look again, the one that dared him to walk away. He frowned; it didn’t seem in line with the picture Genesis had painted of Cloud. He’d made him seem almost meek.

The Cloud that stared him down was not meek, but every inch the man who had taken down Sephiroth. His expression said clearly that he thought Angeal was about to be an idiot for unnecessary reasons and dared him to make his stupidity clear to everyone else.

(Cloud only knew he was going to be an idiot because he, too, would have tried to turn down their hospitality.)

Angeal ended up closing his mouth and agreeing.

There was a single spare bedroom, with a full size bed that was not at all big enough for two grown men the size of Angeal and Zack. They would have to cuddle _extremely_ close, or one would need to sleep on the couch downstairs. Cloud had offered his and Genesis’s room, which had a queen size bed, but Genesis promptly shut it down.

“I understand your urge to take care of them, Cloud, but they were SOLDIERs; they have dealt with far worse conditions. Besides, you would insist on cleaning before letting them stay there, and that isn’t something I’m about to waste my time on—or allow you to waste time on, for that matter.”

The next day, Zack and Angeal were brought out to go clothes shopping. They had scrapped the uniforms they stole from the labs; their skin had gone itchy from the constant mako exposure with the garments. Instead, they were wearing simple clothes scavenged from nearby houses that fit them poorly. Zack was in a loud orange and blue striped tank-top which only seemed to remotely fit because it had no sleeves and cargo shorts that were much too large, held in place by a length of rope that he claimed was a fashion statement. Angeal was in a simple white tee-shirt that stretched across his broad chest and shoulder in _very_ interesting ways and jeans that fit a little too snugly. It was the curse of being built, even by SOLDIER standards, with all the height that went with his enhancements.

They had no other clothes except what was on their backs, however, and once Cloud realized they weren’t about to disappear, he realized they needed the tools for civilian life. He and Genesis had gone through this process themselves; collecting the necessities for a normal life, things that fell by the wayside in battle. Cloud hadn’t had time to worry about things like mouthwash and non-stick pans while chasing Sephiroth around the world. Genesis had everything provided for him in SOLDIER. They both had needed to learn what, exactly, civilians kept so much of that they needed whole houses to store it in.

Genesis and Cloud had chattered away without Angeal and Zack, making a list of items they would need. Various hygiene items that were considered luxuries on the battlefield: floss and mouthwash, shampoo and conditioner instead of three-in-one soaps. They had many of the longer-term items that went into an individual home: pots and pans, silverware, cleaning supplies. It was the personal items, that Zack and Angeal needed. Different types of footwear than an endless stock of combat boots, clothes that would actually suit the seasons, outerwear, because people would look at them oddly for being in the snow with no coat, even if they could withstand the cold. Genesis had tried to tack colognes onto the list, which Cloud denied. Genesis relented only when Zack piped up with his enthusiasm for the body sprays he remembered, which Genesis found to be an “affront to the sense of smell.”

When they arrived to a large store, Cloud stepped to one side of the door, and Genesis followed. He tucked an arm around Cloud’s shoulders, and they looked at Zack and Angeal expectantly.

“… What?” Zack asked, looking between the pair and Angeal in confusion.

“Go on,” Genesis said, waving his free hand in a grand gesture toward the store. “Be free.”

“What does that mean?” Zack asked.

“It _means_ ,” Cloud said, fighting back the hint of humor in his tone, “that you should go ahead and find what you like.”

Angeal and Zack blinked. It hadn’t occurred to them, that they would be picking out their own clothes. They’d worn what had been given to them for years. They had thought Cloud and Genesis were going to pick whatever was appropriate, hand it to them, and that would be that.

Zack looked sheepish, and Angeal cleared his throat.

“C’mon,” Angeal said, grabbing Zack and dragging him into the store.

Cloud and Genesis watched them go.

“How badly do you think everything will clash?” Cloud asked, watching Zack rifle through a rack.

“Oh, terribly. Zack’s will be incredibly loud and bold in all the worst ways. I’m expecting many simple, but confused patterns from Angeal. I can already picture him coming out in a striped shirt with plaid pants.”

Cloud snorted a laugh.

“We shouldn’t choose for them. They ought to choose what they like.”

“Yes, but they’re like toddlers—in fact, they might as well have _been_ toddlers, the last time they dressed themselves. They’ve never had a wardrobe they chose before; it would have been their parents, before Shinra.”

“They’re going to pick every piece they like and try to wear their favorites all at once with no consideration for how it looks as a whole.”

“I expect so, yes.”

Cloud patted the hand Genesis had around his shoulder and took a step forward, saying, “C’mon, then. We ought to make sure they have a few basics, plus the other essential supplies. I can’t see Zack picking a solid color shirt, and he needs to have at least one.”

“Can we let him walk out of the house dressed in an outfit he chose entirely by himself at _least_ once?”

“ _No._ But we’ll definitely let him try to show us outfits he put together before we teach him how to dress himself properly.”

“I would say it’s a shame, that Midgar let us SOLDIERs get away with wearing nothing but the uniform, so we never had to build those skills. But it will be _terribly_ fun watching them make those mistakes at first.”

“I’m not letting them out in public to embarrass themselves.”

“No, no, of course not. Just in front of us.”

Angeal and Zack came back with arms full of garments. Cloud insisted they try things on to be sure they fit, having no desire to return things later, but didn’t insist on seeing the outfits. When Genesis tried to bring it up, he was silenced with a pinch to his arm and a half-hidden smirk. Zack and Angeal looked curiously at the items in Genesis and Cloud’s arms, but only Zack asked what they were.

“They’re the things we knew you’d forget. I’ll show you both when we’re home.”

And it had lit something in all their hearts to hear that word. _Home_.

Instead of acknowledging it, Cloud cleared his throat and, when they reached the register, continued, “Just drop everything on the belt.”

They began doing so, as Cloud stepped up to the register. All the mirth dribbled out of his face as he approached the cashier, who looked at him with shining eyes and a wider smile than customer service called for.

“Hello, Mr. Strife. Did you find everything you needed today?”

Cloud dug in his pocket for his wallet, not making eye contact with her.

“Yeah, we did, thanks.”

Zack and Angeal watched curiously. Cloud didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but he wasn’t _this_ stoic. He also usually didn’t avoid eye contact this much; he was staring intently at his wallet as he pulled out a card, and then at the small screen where he slipped the card in chip-first.

“You’ve got a lot of company today. Hi there, Mr. Rhapsodos.”

“Hello,” Genesis said, his tone clipped. He had his arms folded and was tapping one finger against a forearm.

Cloud watched the screen as it processed his card and prayed it would hurry it up.

It didn’t go fast enough that the cashier didn’t have time for one last try.

“Who are your friends?”

Cloud glanced back at Zack and Angeal. Zack raised both eyebrows in question. Cloud looked back down with the beep of the machine and plucked his card from the slot.

“I’ll bag them myself,” he said, instead of answering the question.

He began quickly shoving items into bags as the cashier got his receipt ready, before Genesis took it from her hand and tucked it into a bag. He began passing Cloud items to get them in the bags faster.

Zack and Angeal followed them through the little aisle a little further, but they couldn’t get any further than in front of the cashier herself. She smiled at them, and they smiled back, Zack with a wide grin and Angeal with a much calmer version.

“Are you new in town?”

“Uh, I guess you could say that,” Zack said, unsure if he should be answering, with Cloud’s strange attitude. Cloud pursed his lips and shoved a shirt into a bag with a little more force than necessary.

“How do you know the Savior?”

Both Angeal and Zack’s eyes shot to Cloud, who visibly bristled. Genesis sighed impatiently.

“Miss, we’d appreciate it if you didn’t pry,” he said on Cloud’s behalf. He knew Cloud wouldn’t do it, and often took it upon himself to do so in his stead. He already had a reputation for it in the press.

“ _Gen_ ,” Cloud said, but the scolding wasn’t heartfelt. They had argued about this in the past. Cloud didn’t like how the press treated Genesis, painting him as overprotective and keeping the people from their hero, no matter the fact that he was always faultlessly polite about it. Genesis didn’t care about what the press had to say; he’d dealt with bad press before, and was more than happy to do so again, if it kept Cloud from being hassled.

“No, sorry, of course, I apologize,” the cashier said. She looked adequately cowed to Genesis, as she went about fussing around in the cash drawer and under the counter, trying to do anything to keep herself occupied as they finished bagging. The second the task was done, the bags were distributed. Cloud mumbled his thank you and left the store in a hurry.

Zack came up along his side, with Genesis at the other, and Angeal on Genesis’s far side, but looking at Cloud curiously.

“People call you _the Savior_?” Zack asked, his face clearly incredulous.

Cloud shrugged, but stared ahead of himself.

“Savior of the Planet, is the usual full title. Gaia’s Hero is another. Sometimes it’s just ‘Champion.’”

“But they don’t really just _call_ you that, right? Like to your face, they say your name, yeah?”

“You heard her, she called me ‘Mr. Strife’ first. They try to remember my name. It’s just the second they start to talk _about_ me instead of _to_ me, they always forget.”

“How many times did we hear Sephiroth called just ‘the General?’” Angeal said.

Genesis glanced at Cloud in time to see him bristle at the comparison, but Zack was leaning around him to look at Angeal.

“That’s different! That was his literal _rank_. Not… whatever the hell this is.”

“It doesn’t seem that different. Look, crowds part for him, the same way they did for Sephiroth.”

Zack looked up, and then he did notice that people _were_ , in fact, making way for them. People stepped to the side and stopped to watch in hushed whispers. People stared. Some took pictures as surreptitiously as they could, which was often not very.

“Gaia, it is just the same, isn’t it?”

“Could we maybe stop comparing me and Sephiroth?” Cloud said, clearly sounding displeased, though his face didn’t show much. Zack looked back at him guiltily.

“Sorry, Cloud. You’ve gotta admit, though, there are a lot of similarities.”

“Yeah, I know that I got my childhood wish of becoming just like him, just in all the worst ways. I don’t need to be reminded.”

Zack looked closer, and could see, now, the line of tension in Cloud’s shoulders, how tight his jaw was clenched, the way his hands made fists in the loops of the plastic bags. It wasn’t quite snapping, but it was a harsher tone than he took with most people. Zack softened; he was glad he was still someone Cloud felt that safe with.

“I’ll drop it. Sorry again.”

Cloud sighed and rolled his shoulders, loosening up just a little.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

“It’s just gonna take a minute to get used to, is all. I was kinda shell-shocked. I didn’t know everyone _knew you_ like that.”

Cloud shrugged.

“Household name and all that. I still blame Rufus and his publicity; it got way worse after Advent Day.”

“Didn’t he try to make you give a speech?” Genesis asked, less because he had forgotten, and more than he wanted to bring it up. He watched the tension bleed out of Cloud as he snorted a laugh.

“He did—what an idiot. I told him that I wouldn’t write one or read off one that he wrote. I went up there, said, ‘Thanks very much,’ and then got down from the podium.”

Zack laughed and said, “What were you even thanking them for? Didn’t _you_ do them a favor when you saved the world?”

Cloud shrugged, but there was a small smile on his face now.

“They were giving me a medal. It was for that, not that I even wanted it. Couldn’t tell you where I put the damn thing.”

Zack laughed louder at that, and Genesis smiled fondly. Angeal looked on, more in curiosity than anything. He was trying to see what the others saw, and he thought he was starting to get a glimpse. Strangely enough, he was almost _more_ jealous at that concept. It had been easier to think that maybe Genesis and Zack would agree to leave Cloud behind when he had been dead sure that he wasn’t worth their time. If he actually _did_ have as much draw behind him as they seemed to think, if he _was_ good enough for them, then Angeal wasn’t going to be able to get them to leave. He wasn’t going to be able to even try; he wouldn’t want to. It made him more frustrated.

Perhaps it was the frustration that got him to say, “Cloud?”

“Yes?” Cloud said, leaning around Genesis to look at Angeal, who looked back at him evenly.

“Did you pay for all our things with your personal gil?”

“Yeah, of course. Why?”

Angeal frowned, but Zack groaned loudly.

“Cloud! You didn’t have to!”

Cloud looked at Zack oddly, saying, “How else were we going to pay? You two don’t have any gil yet, and these were things you needed.”

“I figured there was like a… expense card, from Shinra or something!”

Cloud snorted and said, “Like I’d take Rufus’s gil. I have plenty, Zack, don’t worry about it.”

“From what?”

“This and that. Monster hunting racks up the gil. A mastered All materia sells for _quite_ a bit. I do have my own business. Really, I’m happy to cover the cost.”

“What business do you have?” Angeal asked, hoping it was something he could disapprove of.

“I run a delivery company. It’s dangerous, trying to get things from one place to another, with all the monsters and Shinra not being there anymore to provide the service. It’s no problem for me to get through a few monster nests, but it’d kill a civilian. People will pay good gil for a package to get where it needs to go.”

Angeal looked off to one side, humming in acknowledgement. It wasn’t something he could disapprove of after all.

If Genesis was looking at him knowingly, he pointedly ignored it.

“That’s cool! How do you get around? Helicopter? Do you fly it?” Zack asked.

Cloud shook his head, saying, “I have a motorcycle I take.”

Zack whistled and said, “Now this I have to see!”

“We’re not far from home. I’ll show you once we get all this put away.”

They chattered aimlessly until they reached home, where Cloud unlocked the door. When he put the bags down to open the door, Zack picked them up for him to carry inside, more than capable of carrying them all. Zack led the way in, with Angeal behind him, Genesis behind Angeal, and Cloud bringing up the rear, locking the door behind him.

Carefully pulling the key from the lock, his back still to the rest of the room, Cloud said, “Hey, Gen, you wanna help Zack get this stuff settled in?”

He turned around then, looking at Genesis meaningfully. Genesis nodded slowly.

“If you’d like.”

Genesis went and plucked the bags from Angeal’s fingers and followed Zack to the staircase, where he was paused, looking between Angeal and Cloud knowingly. Cloud was now staring at Angeal, who looked back at him in confusion. Genesis pushed Zack’s shoulder to urge him upstairs.

When they were out of sight and a door had closed behind them, Cloud finally moved. He stalked over to Angeal, his movements almost wolf-like, predatory. This was clearly a man used to people moving out of his way, or moving them himself if it came to it.

Angeal felt the strangest instinct to actually back up as Cloud approached. And it was _odd_ , because he had _quite_ a few inches on Cloud, who knew how many pounds more of muscle, and was a First, besides. But in that simple walk, he could almost believe that Cloud really had brought Sephiroth low.

Cloud stopped just inside Angeal’s personal space. He wasn’t _threatening_ so much as deeply intense.

“When I agreed with Genesis, that I would have wanted to get out of the way for the three of you, I meant it. I was planning on trying it anyway, because I _still_ don’t think I have the right to come between any of you. But. Zack made it _very_ clear that he doesn’t want that. _Genesis_ made it clear that he doesn’t want that—he guessed what I was up to and cornered me when we went to bed last night. They’ve both decided that if I run, they’re going to chase me down. Now, I’m pretty sure I could outrun them, and know some pretty good hiding spots besides, but if they’re busy chasing me, they’re not busy being with you, and it defeats the purpose.

“So. It looks like, one way or another, we’re giving this a shot. It’ll work a lot better if you stop trying to kick my feet out from under me every step of the way. I _know_ you want to hate me. I get it. But you’re not getting rid of me. So give me something to work with, alright?”

Angeal looked down at him, blinking slowly. It was a fair request. He knew it was reasonable. He just didn’t know if he could do it.

“I… don’t know how to. Cloud, you seem nice enough, but I don’t know how to share _them_ with a stranger.”

“Then make me not a stranger.”

“That takes time.”

“You want a shortcut?”

Angeal blinked in surprise this time, his eyes widening just a hair.

“Do you have one?”

Cloud grabbed his wrist and began dragging him to the living room. He got him to the sofa, where he pushed him, gently but firmly, to sitting. Then he climbed into his lap, close enough to press their hips together.

Angeal’s eyes grew wider. He tried to pull away, but the back of the couch prevented it.

“Cloud, I—“

“Gen already said it was fine. I asked Zack this morning. Don’t worry about upsetting anyone.”

“I don’t _know_ you.”

Cloud slid his hand between them to palm at Angeal and, damn him, he couldn’t help but respond.

“You’ll know me better after this.”

Angeal cursed. Cloud was still looking down at him fiercely, with the kind of intensity that reminded him of Genesis. It was a huge draw. He felt his blood all start to run south. He was giving him that challenging look again, daring him to walk away and show himself to be a fool in the process.

“This isn’t how you get to know someone.”

“This was how I got to know Genesis.”

“That seemed to take way more than one instance.”

“Listen, Angeal, I’m not good with words. I’m good with actions. I can show you all the things you need to know about me, if you just let me try, and you pay enough attention that you see them.”

Angeal paused for a long time. Every moment that passed was a moment spent with Cloud’s skilled fingers on him, slowly chipping away at his resolve.

He cursed again, grabbed Cloud by the back of the head, and pulled him down for a kiss.

Cloud kissed him with fire and passion. There was a burn there, an ache, a need that Cloud was keeping like a scream just behind his teeth. So, leaning into the point of the exercise, Angeal kissed his mouth open and tried to find it.

For all of Cloud’s ferocity, he was oddly pliant. He let Angeal dictate where this went, despite being the one to start it. The kiss deepened in Angeal’s time, he allowed Angeal to angle his head with a hand in his hair.

Cloud was a leader, in many ways, but apparently, in at least some others, he had no interest. There was a humility there, a knowledge that he didn’t always know best. A reluctance to be in charge. A need to have all that ferocity centered, just as Genesis had said.

Maybe he would be able to learn from this.

Cloud curled one hand gently along the side of Angeal’s bare throat, his calluses rough against the tender skin. He was a fighter, yes, and it had left its mark, but his core was much softer.

When they were both hard enough, Cloud pulled his hand away from between them and brought it up to mirror the other. He raised them to cup Angeal’s face by the jaw, his touch almost sweet. When Angeal opened his eyes to try and read what was on Cloud’s face, he could see his brow furrowed, with a look of need, of near desperation that did not fit how far along they were.

He really wanted this to work. He was trying his best, using all the tools he had, to try and make the most of the situation.

Angeal wondered if it wasn’t accompanied by a deeper seated need to please, but that was something to be teased out later.

Cloud began rolling his hips, grinding them together. Angeal finally raised his hands, taking a firm hold of Cloud’s hips. He didn’t bother moving himself, instead guiding Cloud through the motions, of how to do this just right for him in particular. Cloud let himself be led, following every little gesture and hint of pressure. He was trying to give Angeal what he wanted. A deeper need to please, indeed.

They stayed like that for a while, Angeal getting more grounded in these conclusions as they went. The little pucker of desperation stayed between Cloud’s brow. His touch remained tender. He moved exactly how he was encouraged to, be it in pace or pressure.

When Cloud let out a sweet, soft little moan right into Angeal’s mouth, he had enough. He grabbed Cloud by the hips and flipped them, depositing him on his back on the couch. In half a second, Angeal was hovering over him, perched on his hands and knees between Cloud’s legs.

Cloud looked a little breathless from the sudden movement, but not surprised. Ready to take things as they happened, willing to roll with the punches.

“How far are we taking this, Cloud?” Angeal asked in a murmur.

Cloud fished in his pocket and pulled out a tube of lube, grabbing one of Angeal’s hands and pressing it into his palm while staring him in the eye.

“However far you have to go to learn enough that you’ll give this a chance.”

“This feels like I’m taking advantage of you.”

“No one’s taking advantage of anyone.”

“But—“

“Angeal, this is just… a foot in the door. This is how we start building the bond we’ll need to make this work.”

Angeal paused, then nodded. He pulled far enough away to strip Cloud’s pants and underwear off before yanking his own down around his thighs. Cloud watched calmly, despite the way his breathing was still ragged. Angeal poured some of the lube into his hand before dropping it to the floor and moving to drape his body over Cloud’s. Cloud tilted his hips up and spread his legs further, but Angeal didn’t go for his entrance. Instead, he lined them up and circled both their lengths in his large palm, spreading the lube across them with a twist of his wrist.

Cloud groaned, his head falling back against the couch cushion. His hips twitched up, his arms coming around Angeal. One wrapped around his shoulders, keeping him close, the other buried in his hair. He could feel the way Cloud was carefully keeping his nails away from skin—he didn’t want to hurt anyone. Always the hero, the savior, the helper; it wasn’t in him to cause pain without need. No matter the outcome, it was never what he wanted.

“You can— _haa_ —go further than that.”

“This is as far as I want to go.”

“But—“

“Let’s save something, for when it’s not a learning experience, alright?”

Cloud paused in thought until Angeal curled one finger, running the tip through Cloud’s slit, making him gasp sharply. He nodded his head fervently after.

Cloud’s legs came up to frame his hips, locking together behind them. It was not lost on Angeal that Cloud was clinging to him. Genesis had said he needed a rock, someone to lean on—he could see it, now.

Angeal noticed the way Cloud kept his eyes shut. Willing to let Angeal see anything he needed, but not wanting to see himself. He could read the uncertainty behind it, the hint of nervousness that belied the calm, stoic front he put up.

Until they were starting to reach the end, at least. Then, Cloud opened his eyes, that little pucker back between his eyebrows. There was an urgency in his eyes, now that they were both getting close.

_Do you see me? Do you see enough to keep you interested? Will you give me a chance?_

There was a moment, just a blink of an eye, of perfect vulnerability on Cloud’s face, of fear that he would be found wanting by the end of this. That he had gone so far, and it would all fall through his fingertips still.

Angeal didn’t say a word. He leaned down to kiss him instead.

He poured every ounce of reassurance that he could into that kiss. Because he knew, even before Cloud started to tremble with the early signs of his orgasm, that this was more than enough. That he understood enough of who Cloud was to give him a chance.

He really wasn’t trying to take Genesis and Zack, as he had feared, in his gut. He was only asking not to be left behind. And, strangely enough, in that moment, Angeal felt no desire to do so.

Cloud tossed his head back with a cry as he came, breaking their kiss. Cloud looked perfect, caught in the midst of his orgasm, and Angeal found himself following along soon after.

When he looked down, having calmed after his own climax, it was just in time to watch Cloud bury the last hint of hesitance on his face. His eyes were still at a lazy half-mast, but he was built like a SOLDIER, and his energy levels would bounce back given a few moments. Angeal looked down between them, at the mess made of both their shirts; he wasn’t sure who it had been, but _someone_ had gotten quite some range on that one.

“I hope you weren’t too attached to that shirt,” Angeal said, yanking his own off and over his head, tossing it to the floor as he sat back on his knees. Cloud sat up, blinking heavily, and yanked off his own shirt before pulling his pants back on; they had been dangling from one ankle. He cleaned up the last of the mess on his chest and Angeal’s using his shirt before scrubbing Angeal’s hand clean. He placed the soiled shirt on the floor slowly, with far too much care. Angeal realized he was avoiding looking at him, still unsure if his attempt to bridge the gap had worked.

Angeal shifted to the far end of the couch and grabbed Cloud’s wrist, pulling him after him. He laid down, pulling Cloud down against his chest in a reversal of how they had been laying earlier. He mirrored Cloud’s earlier gesture, with one arm wrapped around his shoulders and one hand in his hair. He tucked Cloud’s head beneath his chin.

“Thank you, Cloud. For trusting me with that. And for being brave enough to reach out while I was being an ass.”

“You’ll work with me, then?” Cloud asked, looking up despite the hand in his hair. Angeal looked down at him, still cupping the back of his head.

“Yes. We’ll make this all work.”

“A _hem_. Is everyone decent?”

They both looked over to see Genesis coming down the stairs and peeking around the corner, Zack’s head appearing not long after his own. Both their expressions softened into fondness at the sight of the two lying cuddled up together.

“You owe me fifty gil, Gen,” Cloud said, a lazy, but almost smug smile on his face.

Genesis sighed and fished for his wallet, saying, “I really did not think he’d allow you to even try this method, much less that it would work. This is what I mean when I call you a nymph.”

“Ah yes, me and my wiles, seducing poor, hapless men. How could Angeal ever fall prey to such a being?” Cloud drawled, his sarcasm softened by the way the corner of his mouth tilted up. He held his hand out, and Genesis came over to place the gil into his palm. Cloud moved to tuck the gil into his pocket, but Genesis caught his wrist, so he tilted his face up instead. Genesis leaned down to kiss him softly. Then he let Cloud’s wrist go and slid a step forward, giving an equally soft kiss to Angeal as well.

“Thank you, love,” he breathed to him.

“Don’t thank me for fucking your boyfriend,” Angeal said, a small smile curling on his lips. Genesis watched it form, and his own smile grew relieved. If he could joke about it and smile, then the problems were past.

Cloud, who had finished putting away his well earned gil, chirped up, “You didn’t _really_ fuck me.”

Genesis stood up properly with a gasp of mock surprise.

“Angeal? You turned down the _nymph_?”

“I didn’t turn him down, I’m just saving a few things for later.”

“Besides, I’m not a nymph,” Cloud chimed in. “Back me up, Zack.”

Zack, who had been hanging back a bit, more watching the proceedings, stepped up to the couch and sat on the far end. He patted Cloud’s ankle.

“As the first person here to take you to bed, I can definitely say that I _one hundred percent_ agree with Genesis.”

Cloud kicked him lightly in the side, saying, “Traitor.”

He felt a little more tense with the position, now, with Genesis and Zack here, but this was the point. All of them, together. It helped when Angeal seemed to notice, and ran a soothing hand down his back. Could he read him so well already, that he saw the tension forming? Cloud wasn’t sure what to make of that.

All he knew was that they had the pieces to try, now.


	14. Chapter 14

After that afternoon on the couch, Angeal learned to pay more attention to Cloud’s body language and gestures. There was a lot to be read in the way he moved and held himself, once you knew where to look. He found he liked a lot of the traits that were coming to light, and that he liked watching the others interact even more, though some partners were easier to see than others.

Zack and Genesis were the easiest. It reminded Genesis of a strange mix of his own relationship with Zack, and Genesis’s rivalry with Sephiroth. They would needle each other and tease, but it was always light-hearted. Genesis never seemed to get worked up the way he would have with Sephiroth, but the ribbing and taunts reminded him much of what he used to overhear in the VR Rooms. But Genesis seemed strangely willing to help Zack; he knew how civilian life worked, and always stepped in when Zack started to flounder. He acted with far more patience than he ever remembered seeing before. Zack seemed to always know the line between respect and teasing, when he should listen and when it was okay to give Genesis a hard time. The few times he slipped, it never took more than a raised eyebrow from Genesis for him to sheepishly take the lesson seriously.

Cloud and Zack weren’t _easy_ to watch, but it wasn’t necessarily difficult. It was the first time he had seen Zack try to take on a leading role, and it suited him well. Cloud seemed happy to let himself be dragged into activities or outings. Zack didn’t quite slip back into being the puppy he remembered, but he was at his closest to it with Cloud. They brought out the brightest in each other; Cloud seemed to smile and laugh more with Zack, and Zack seemed his least worried with Cloud. There were times when when Cloud taught Zack how to change the oil in the bike or write a check properly. During these moments, when Cloud took charge, the pair seemed to settle into a calmer pace, despite the constant joking that remained.

Genesis and Cloud moved together like it was wholly natural, and that was what made them the most difficult, considering his own longstanding relationship with Genesis. Watching them share space, even in mundane acts like cooking and cleaning, showed that they had simply been doing this for a while. Cloud could hear Genesis approach while doing the dishes and duck his head with perfect timing so Genesis could reach above him for a glass, without ever pausing his task. Genesis would catch Cloud so much as glance at a tall cabinet and would already be on the way to opening it and grabbing whatever Cloud needed but wouldn’t have been able to reach. Whoever was up earlier in the morning brought the other coffee without needing to check how they liked it. Cloud: no sugar, but a tiny splash of cream that made the drink look almost muddy, Genesis: enough of whatever sweetened creamer he had picked out that week for the coffee to turn a caramel color.

What was perhaps the most difficult to get accustomed to was the fact that they had a life _outside_ the house, outside of their new concerns with Zack and Angeal. Partially, because they didn’t seem to want to bring that outside life in, not until Angeal brought it up.

“So—Cloud, Genesis,” he started. When the two hummed, Cloud looking up from his sword polishing and Genesis still staring down at his book, he continued, “Where are your kids?”

Zack went very still at the far side of the table.

Cloud looked at him in confusion. He looked to Genesis, who slowly raised his eyes from the page to meet Cloud’s.

“I thought we agreed to tell them about the kids later,” Cloud said to Genesis, not caring that they were being overheard now that the cat was out of the bag. Zack was watching them like a hawk.

“I haven’t said a word,” Genesis answered.

“You have a picture of the four of you in your bedroom mirror. I saw it the first day, but it’s been weeks now, and we haven’t seen them.”

His tone was clearly judgmental, that they would leave their kids for so long in someone else’s hands and home.

Cloud sighed and ruffled his hair. Genesis slipped a bookmark into his page and closed the book.

“They’re not _our_ kids,” Genesis said. “They’re more Cloud’s than anything.”

“They’re as much Tifa’s as they are mine, Gen. And Barret is always Marlene’s father first.”

“I’m confused. You and Tifa had kids? And who’s Barret?” Zack asked, having long since set his coffee mug down. He looked unusually serious.

“Barret is a member of AVALANCHE—he’s a friend. He adopted Marlene from an old friend; it’s a long story, and not mine to tell. But he’s busy, off building Corel back up and running the coal mining operation. Someone had to look after her, and she spent a lot of time with Tifa before, so it was natural that she take her. I was living with Tifa at the time, so I helped out.”

“And the boy?” Angeal asked.

“Denzel, he—his family was killed during Meteorfall, with what happened to Midgar. I found him in the ruins one day by Aerith’s church. I brought him home; Tifa and I have been raising them. They stay with her above Seventh Heaven.”

“So why was there a photo with you two and them?”

Genesis leaned back in his chair and said, “Is it so odd that I would help? Denzel is, for all intents and purposes, Cloud’s son. Between Cloud’s visits and my own work shifts, I’m there almost every day as it is. It was natural to lend a hand. I’m fond of them both.”

“We didn’t mean to keep you from your kids,” Zack said. He was still strangely quiet.

“You didn’t keep us from anyone—they’re with Tifa, and they know we’ll be back. Why do you seem so sad about this?” Cloud asked, a furrow in his brow.

Zack ruffled his hair in the gesture Cloud had stolen from him so long ago.

“I dunno. I just… always wanted kids. Thought one day, when we were done being SOLDIERs,

“You know, there’s no reason they can’t be as much yours as they are mine,” Genesis said, watching Zack intently as he went still. He looked over to Genesis, who watched him evenly.

“But they don’t need another dad.”

“They didn’t need me, either—Cloud and Tifa are more than enough for them. But they were happy to have me. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you as well.”

Zack looked over to Cloud, both hopeful and unsure, clearly asking permission. Cloud gave him a smile that was both small and fond.

“You ought to meet them. Both of you,” Cloud said, turning to look at Angeal. “I was going to wait until I could get all of AVALANCHE together, but I’ve been talking to them, and I doubt it’ll happen any time soon. They’re all going to stop by and visit, just one by one, mostly.”

“Is this your version of bringing us home to meet your parents?” Angeal said, clearly amused.

Cloud huffed and picked up the small piece of his sword and the rag with oil and began working again. He didn’t say anything, but his red-tipped ears spoke loud enough for him.

The next day, they went to Seventh Heaven for the first time. It was a Sunday, so the kids were out of school, but sleeping in. They arrived early in the morning, when Tifa was up doing her books at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. She had been warned about the company he was bringing, but was still waiting for them in the kitchen.

“Hey, Teef,” Cloud called as he let himself in the front door. Usually, he would have taken the back, but that would have let them directly into the kitchen, where Tifa was waiting. He thought it better to give her a second.

“Good morning, dear,” Genesis called after, ushering Zack and Angeal inside.

“Aren’t you going to wake the kids like that?” Zack asked in a hushed voice.

Cloud shook his head and said, “I know those kids—they sleep like rocks.”

He led them into the kitchen, letting the others trail behind him, and held up the bags in his hands when Tifa looked over.

“I brought breakfast.”

“You better be the one cooking it,” Tifa said, but there was a small smile at the corner of her lips.

Cloud wandered into the kitchen and set the four, stuffed bags in his hands on the counter. Genesis went next, dropping his two on the counter next to them—it would take a lot to feed four SOLDIERS, two growing children, and one reasonable adult. Cloud stuffed his hands in his pockets and went back to the doorway where Angeal and Zack were lingering while Genesis went to Tifa’s side, kissing her upturned cheek in greeting.

“How are you, my dear?”

Cloud nodded into the kitchen and took a few steps in, heading toward the counter. This time, Angeal and Zack followed, but they stayed just inside the door.

Tifa’s eyes cut to them as she answered, “Good. Ready to meet your friends here.”

Cloud cleared his throat in the brief pause that happened, so Zack swallowed his nerves and stepped forward. He held his hand out with a wide grin; this all would have been so much easier, if it really didn’t feel like being brought home to meet someone’s parents. He was never this nervous meeting new people, especially since he _had_ met Tifa before, but there was just too much meaning behind this to be carefree.

“Tifa, it’s been a while,” Zack started, as Tifa took his hand and shook it firmly.

“Glad we’re meeting with better circumstances this time. Congrats on the whole resurrection thing—yours sounded a lot better than Sephiroth’s.”

“The upside of never having _quite_ been dead, I guess,” Zack said.

Tifa looked very serious as she said, “I wanted to say thank you—“

“ _Tifa_ ,” Cloud groaned.

“Quiet, Cloud. I wanted to say thank you for keeping an eye on him as long as you did, and getting him as close to Midgar as you did. I don’t think he’d still be in one piece if it wasn’t for you. I don’t think he’d be _him_ , if it wasn’t for you.”

Tifa stood from her chair and pulled Zack into a hug.

“You can relax,” Tifa said, a light note of humor in her voice as Zack finally dared to hug her back. “After what you did and what you mean to him, you’re already family.”

When they pulled away, Zack had relaxed visibly. His grin came much easier to his face this time, but it fell when he saw the much more serious look Tifa aimed behind him and just to his left.

“I can’t say quite the same for you.”

Zack ducked around the table to go stand next to Cloud at the counter. Cloud dropped his hands from where they were folded over his chest to squeeze Zack’s hand briefly before looking back at Tifa.

“Angeal Hewley,” he said, stepping up and holding his own hand out to Tifa. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“Haven’t had the pleasure,” Tifa said, shaking his hand a little more firmly than she had Zack’s; no one but Cloud could tell if she was being sarcastic (she was). “I’ve heard plenty of stories about you. Genesis tried to do you a favor by painting you in a good light even before you were back—had to drag your faults out of him.”

“I’m well aware that I’m not a perfect man, Ms. Lockhart.”

“Tifa, please,” she insisted. “And I don’t need you to be perfect. I need you not to hurt anyone.”

“Oh, am I under your protection now, Tifa?” Genesis asked with no small amusement. “Last time this talk happened, I was the one being threatened.”

“And I still mean that—Cloud might as well be my baby brother, and that comes first. But you’re no stranger, Genesis.”

“You don’t have to threaten anyone, Tifa,” Cloud said on a sigh.

“Probably not, but I’m still going to let everyone here know that if they break your heart, Stormcloud, their nose is going to get really well acquainted with the inside of their head. You guys get me?”

Genesis rolled his eyes, Angeal nodded, and Zack said, “Read you loud and clear.”

Tifa gave Angeal one lingering look before going to sit back at the table. She closed her book and put her pen on top of it before taking a long drink of coffee. Cloud knew that meant the worst of it was over and went about unpacking the bags.

“Gen, come help,” Cloud called. Genesis sighed but went to comply as Zack stepped away from the counter to make room for him.

“Come over and sit,” Tifa said, gesturing with her coffee cup to two of the chairs. Angeal and Zack didn’t have to guess that she meant them; they went over and sat down. Tifa took a sip of her black coffee and said, “Cloud’s already told me where the two of you were. He beat me to talking to Rufus about getting the files for whatever they were keeping you for.”

“Cloud, what?” Zack asked, turning to look at the blonde’s back, who just shrugged as he worked.

“You deserve to know, and Shinra _always_ leaves a paper trail, no matter how deep they try to bury it,” Cloud said, still not glancing back at them.

“Rufus is still looking, though,” Tifa said. “Cloud wouldn’t tell me anything more about what you’ve all been up to since you’ve been back, just that you’re ‘busy’ and ‘trying to make things work.’ Now, I know who used to be dating who, and I know Cloud and Genesis are a thing. What the hell is the plan here, guys?”

Cloud sighed quietly, and Genesis took a pause in what he was doing to rub soothingly between his shoulder blades.

“We’re going to try all of us together,” Zack said.

“You’re _what?_ ”

“I know it’ll be a little difficult, I think it probably always is with that many people, but—“

“No, hold on, _Cloud_ —you agreed to this?”

Cloud’s shoulders were visibly tight. He didn’t turn around, though Zack and Angeal turned to look at him.

“Yeah, Teef.”

“ _Four people?_ You want to be _that close_ to _that man_ y _people_?”

“I understand it’s not really common—“ Angeal started to say, but Tifa waved him off by flapping a hand at him.

“I don’t care about common, I care that Cloud is nightmare when it comes to opening up. How the hell are you gonna make this work, Cloud?”

“He’s been very open with us,” Angeal said, looking to Cloud in confusion. “He told us his history the first day they found us.”

“I’m not talking about history, he’ll own up to the facts. I’m talking about emotionally.”

“Can we not talk about me like I’m not here?” Cloud grumbled.

“When you decide to chime in and speak for yourself, sure,” Tifa countered.

Cloud sighed and put down the carton of eggs in his hands to turn around.

“I’ll make it work, Tifa.”

“You can’t go tearing off on your bike at the first sign of trouble, and there will be a lot of trouble, with four people.”

“I know.”

“You can’t just ignore calls and texts at the drop of a hat either.”

“What’s the point when they’re living with me?”

“Like you wouldn’t come up with a ‘surprise delivery’ and be out your door in a heartbeat.”

Cloud sighed and ruffled his hair; he knew she had a point. That was why it was hard to hear.

“I need this to work, Tifa. It might take a while, but I’ll figure out how to do that. I’m committed to this.”

Tifa paused, looking at him seriously. Then she leaned back and took another sip of her coffee.

“Okay, then. Genesis knows how to handle you when you get in your worst moods, anyway.”

“ _Gaia_ ,” Cloud swore, turning around with his face starting to turn red. He knew she was referring to how, when he got very bad, Genesis would do a scene with him, and things quickly went back to normal. Genesis chuckled, also knowing the joke, and got back to work with Cloud.

“So,” Tifa said, in lieu of explaining, despite Angeal and Zack’s curious faces. “I trust Genesis to be committed to making this work too. You’re both really on board?”

“Absolutely,” Zack said readily.

“I… took a bit of persuading,” Angeal admitted sheepishly. “But I’m on board now.”

“Then show me,” Tifa said before taking a sip of her coffee. When they didn’t answer, she gestured with it, saying, “Get all sappy. Wax poetic. I want to hear how much you love those two idiots.”

Cloud sighed, since she was apparently still in protector mode, but Zack jumped in happily. He began talking about all his favorite things about the two of them as Genesis and Cloud went about making breakfast. Angeal chimed in from time to time, occasionally speaking longer. Genesis had a soft smile on his face for the whole process, but Cloud might as well have gotten sunburnt from how red his face and ears were. The color travelled all the way down his neck to his chest. He wasn’t accustomed to people talking endlessly about things they liked about him. Despite all the progress they had made, he hadn’t expected _Angeal_ to have that much to say, either.

Before long, the smell of cooking food brought the children downstairs. Denzel had paused halfway down the staircase, in the process of rubbing his eye, when he saw the people at the table. Marlene went barreling down the stairs and didn’t notice until she skidded to a stop at the bottom.

“Morning,” Cloud called. It was enough to unlock them both. Denzel crept warily down the stairs while Marlene walked over to Tifa’s side.

“These are some people very important to Genesis and Cloud. They’re staying with them now. This is Angeal, and that’s Zack.”

Denzel came to a stop at Marlene’s side, who was busy looking between them; Denzel only had eyes for Zack, who smiled widely at him. Denzel’s brow furrowed.

“Zack, like the Buster-Sword-in-the-church Zack?”

“That’s the one,” Tifa said.

“I thought he died?”

“Turns out he’s okay. Cloud’s really excited to have him home.”

“Is that why they’ve been gone the past few weeks?” Marlene asked, looking between them. She reached out and plucked a piece of bacon off the plate that was in the center of the table.

“Yeah, they’ve been busy getting them used to Edge.”

“Does this mean they’re back now?” Denzel asked, watching Cloud’s back.

Cloud called, “Yeah, we’ll be around. Sorry, they’ve been gone for a long time, we had a lot to catch them up on.”

“Where were they?” Marlene asked.

“It was a Shinra Thing,” Cloud explained, flipping an egg with a flick of the wrist.

Marlene and Denzel nodded gravely; they had heard plenty over the years about Shinra, and needed to hear no more to take this seriously.

Breakfast went shockingly well. They had to pull some chairs from the main bar itself to get everyone seated around the table, but they managed. Zack proved to be as good with the kids as Cloud had expected; Denzel had seemed a little intimidated by Angeal’s size at first, but Marlene, as used to Barret as she was, had thought nothing of it. He proved to be much quieter and sedate with the children, which was fine when they were all seated at the kitchen table, but he quickly fell by the wayside after. Once they were freed from sitting, it wasn’t long before Zack was chasing screaming children around the place, their laughter echoing off the walls.

Cloud had stood back and watched Tifa talking animatedly with Angeal about cooking while Zack tossed the kids in the air, alternating between them. Genesis sidled up beside him and looped an arm around his shoulders.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, as they looked out at the scene before them.

Cloud smiled softly behind his coffee mug.

“That everything’s going to be okay.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BDSM scene ahead! "sir" and "daddy" are used as honorifics and "pet" and "baby" as diminutives. Please skip/be careful if these things bother you!

The months went by easily. It had taken time, for the four of them to fall into a groove with each other. They shared space easily; Zack and Cloud, Angeal and Genesis had all essentially lived together back in Shinra with how often they were together, and Genesis and Cloud clearly _did_ live together. There was some butting heads about cleanliness, with Zack being much messier than Angeal, and Cloud and Genesis falling somewhere in the middle. More than once, Zack had to be reminded to pick up after himself, and Angeal reminded that things didn’t have to be pristine.

Their bedroom situation began to rotate. Some nights, they fell into their older relationships, with Zack and Cloud in one room and Angeal and Genesis in another. Some nights they split into what they called “The New Pairs”: Genesis and Zack together and Angeal and Cloud on their own. This happened most often as when someone was dragged into the bedroom; it had quickly become the way they smoothed their edges.

It was mostly Cloud’s idea, to use sex as a way of communicating. Genesis had taught him that sex could mean something, and if Cloud accepted this to be true, then it ought to be possible to use it as a tool. They settled disagreements, made up with each other, even got across points that they were struggling to make. Part of this was that, after showing each other physically that they cared, it was easier to just say what needed to be said in the aftermath. Part of it was the touches that were leaden with meaning.

Cloud made use of this tool the most. He had started with it, that afternoon on the couch with Angeal, when it was just about getting familiar. But it was the way he could most easily be vulnerable with them. He could say with a touch and a look all his hesitancies and fears that would have felt like glass on their way out of his throat as words. Angeal and Cloud ended up in bed nearly the most often, just from Cloud trying to get some point across.

It helped that Angeal was the dominant that Genesis had experience with, all those years ago. He and Genesis had figured out BDSM together, learned the hard way what helped and what hurt. Genesis was still the dominant Cloud was most comfortable with, but Angeal slipped back into his old role easily.

He was willing to go further than Genesis was; Genesis drew the line at spanking with impact play and cuffs when it came to bondage. Angeal was talented with rope and more than comfortable with floggers, riding crops, and paddles; when Cloud had curiously asked about whips, he had been told, firmly but with amusement, to slow down some.

More than once, when things were more recreational than for the purpose of getting a message across, things ended up with Angeal, Genesis, and Cloud all together, with Zack watching and attempting to decide his stance on BDSM. Genesis was their wild card; at times, he would join Angeal in dominating Cloud, at times he joined Cloud in being submissive. It had been months now, but Zack was still waffling; he couldn’t decide if he was comfortable with the power play and what side he would have leaned toward. He had been assured many times that there was no rush, and they always made a point of involving him in something vanilla before everyone passed completely into post-orgasm lassitude.

Sometimes, though, the scenes were still for their original purpose. Sometimes, for no reason at all, Cloud got too far into his own head. Sometimes, it happened specifically because of his new romantic situation—not that he would admit this out loud, for fear of causing guilt in the others. When things weren’t for recreation, it always went the same.

Cloud would find it to be too much at some point. This time, he paused in the middle of dishes; he’d gotten too deep into his thoughts, his worries and insecurities about the others still wanting him, during the silence of his task. He abruptly placed the soapy dish into the bottom of the sink and rinsed his hands. He didn’t care that the dishes were half done—they could wait. He dried his pruny hands and went to go find Genesis.

It was the same as it always was. Genesis was sitting in their armchair with a book in hand. Cloud came to a stop at the side of it, and when he lingered there for too long in silence, Genesis looked up. He took in the sight of Cloud’s clenched jaw, his tense shoulders, the stiff, too-straight line of his back. He bookmarked his page and put the book on the coffee table before grabbing Cloud’s hand and bringing him upstairs.

He waited until they were safely in their bedroom before saying, “Cloud, I think this ought to involve the others.”

Cloud, somehow, managed to go stiffer.

“Why,” he said, his tone too flat to make it a question.

“Because I adore that you allow me to see you so vulnerable, but it’s time you let them see the same. You have to let them see you at your weakest, Cloud. This is that moment.”

Cloud clenched his jaw so tight that Genesis worried his teeth might break. Still, he didn’t rush his decision making process, and knew Cloud well enough by now to be sure more words wouldn’t help his case. Eventually, Cloud nodded.

“Angeal, Zack,” Genesis called, just loud enough for their enhanced hearing. “Would you come up here, please?” He reached out to Cloud, taking hold of his shoulders before running his hands slowly down the back of his arms. He cupped his hands around Cloud’s when he reached them and raised them to kiss the knuckles on each. “Pick out what you’d like.”

Genesis watched Cloud nod and go to the closet, where they kept their toy chest. He began rifling through it, examining and setting items back down almost in a daze. Genesis’s eyes tracked this process with a frown on his lips.

“What’s up?” Zack said, poking his head in.

“Is Angeal with you?” Genesis asked.

“Right here. What’s going on?” Angeal said, stepping inside the room with Zack and Genesis. When Genesis glanced toward Cloud, both Zack and Angeal did as well. Cloud didn’t look up from his task.

“Cloud is… having a hard time. He needs some help. He agreed that it’s time you two see this part of him, but the capacity in which you help is up to you. I can do this entirely on my own, if you’d rather just be present.”

“I’m confused,” Zack admitted. “How are you helping him?”

“A scene, dearest. He needs to let go for a moment. We’ll work out the details before we start, but it was best to call you before we start.”

“I’m happy to help,” Angeal said, a furrow of concern in his brow; he was still watching Cloud work.

“I… I don’t know how,” Zack said. “I don’t know that I should have my first try when it’s this serious.”

“There might be a way for you to help,” Genesis said. “Cloud, are you almost done?”

Cloud had a small pile of items in his arms and took one lasts look in the toy chest. With some deliberation, he grabbed one last piece before wandering back over to Genesis, who took the items from his hands.

“On the bed, my love,” Genesis told Cloud, tilting his chin toward it. Cloud went and sat on the edge of it, his hands in his lap.

This was arguably the most careful dance out of the entire process. Cloud needed a certain amount of ordering about, needed a toe into subspace to be able to be fully honest in negotiation. It had been one thing, in the very beginning, to talk about his likes and dislikes. To make specific requests right before they happened, when he already felt undeserving, was too difficult. But if Genesis ordered him to do it, and he was in the headspace where he wanted to comply, it went smoother. The trick was to not let him get so deep that he wouldn’t be able to negotiate properly.

Genesis came to stand in front of Cloud, the other two trailing him, watching with a mix of curiosity and concern. He went through the items in his arms, handing each one to Cloud to be put on the bedspread.

“Rope. Rope again. Blindfold. Collar. Leash. This is all?”

Cloud nodded.

“Now, Cloud. What exactly do you want to happen?”

“Tie me up and spank me until I can’t think anymore.”

“Do you want to orgasm?”

“I want that to be your decision.”

“Do you want your partners to orgasm?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to be fucked?”

“If you’d like.”

“What are you comfortable with Angeal doing?”

At this, Cloud shrugged.

“Whatever he’d like.”

Genesis’s tone was firm but gentle when he said, “I need a proper answer, Cloud. What are your boundaries?”

“I… want to get him off. I want to be good for him. However that happens is fine—I trust you both.”

Angeal’s eyes softened at the words.

“Is it alright if Zack is involved? He would just be with you, maybe hold you, possibly encourage you.”

Cloud blinked in his haze. A look of confusion dawned on his face; he looked over to Zack like the idea had never occurred to him.

“Zack? Involved?”

“Yes, dearest. Only if you want.”

Cloud hummed.

“I’d like that.”

Genesis looked back at the other two with raised brows.

“Any questions?”

Zack shook his head, and Angeal said, “The rest can be improvised.”

Genesis stepped forward and knelt before Cloud. He took his hands gently in his own and kissed each palm before looking up at Cloud’s foggy expression.

“Cloud, love, we’re going to begin. Are you ready?”

Cloud smiled softly and said, “Yes, sir.”

Genesis smiled back, the edges soft with fondness, and kissed his palm one more time. He stood then and, in an act that he made almost reverential, attached the collar around Cloud’s neck, who bared his throat to help. It was made of soft, buttery leather in a cornflower blue that matched Cloud’s eyes, padded and comfortable, with a brassy ring in the front that dangled onto his neck.

The second the collar was fastened, the tension visibly dropped from Cloud’s shoulders.

“Undress for me, pet,” Genesis said softly.

He folded his arms over his chest as he watched Cloud comply with a quiet, “Yes, sir.”

Zack watched with silent hesitance, unsure of when he would be asked to step in, but content to allow Genesis to run things. He was the one Cloud trusted most with these weak moments. He was the one who knew how to handle Cloud when he was fragile. As much as Zack wanted to help, it was better to defer to his judgement. And he _did_ want to help, he _ached_ to, because he could see in every gesture that Cloud was hurting.

Cloud was refusing to make eye contact. The tension had dropped from his shoulders, but his back was still straight as a pin, and Zack was surprised he wasn’t trembling from how coiled his muscles were. He looked a breath away from some desperate action, and knowing Cloud, it was the thinly buried urge to run. That was the heart of the issue, here; he was overwhelmed. Things had gotten too good too fast and he was waiting for the rug to be ripped out from under him. Someone was going to stop caring for him, and soon, he was sure—things never went this well for him.

Zack could read the thought process in his body language, and so could Angeal. Angeal, at least, didn’t have Zack’s hesitancy. He had more experience domming than Genesis did, all told, and could step in to what was needed easily. But still, he understood that Genesis had more experience with Cloud in particular. He knew all Cloud’s fine lines and his tells, he would know when to stop and when to push through a tremulous moment. Usually, when he and Genesis dommed Cloud together, Angeal took charge. He was content to take a backseat this time.

With Cloud undressed, Genesis said, “Up in the middle of the bed.”

“Yes, sir,” Cloud said before making his way to the instructed location.

“Angeal, your help, please,” Genesis said. He unfolded his arms and stepped forward, sitting on the bed himself and scooting to Cloud’s side. Everyone else may still be dressed (something Cloud very much liked when they did this), but Genesis was glad they were all barefoot—better than worrying about bootprints on the sheets.

“Lie back, pet,” Genesis said, gently urging Cloud to lie flat with one hand on the shoulder and listening to the quiet refrain of his respectful agreement. He took Cloud by the ankle and folded his leg to plant his foot against the mattress, repeating the motion with the other leg as well. “Hold your ankles for me. Well done.” Genesis looked up at Angeal and said, “Can you work with this?”

Angeal took the soft white rope in his hand began slowly unwinding it from its neat bundle.

He nodded and said, “I can.”

Angeal joined them on the bed and moved to take Genesis’s spot when the redhead shifted to sit at Cloud’s head. He reached out and took the blindfold from the edge of the bed and held it up for Cloud to see.

“Are you ready?” Genesis asked.

“Yes, sir.”

Without being prompted, Cloud lifted his head from the bed. Genesis wrapped the blindfold of soft, royal blue silk around Cloud’s eyes and, with a few careful twists, tucked the ends in. He preferred to avoid the large, uncomfortable knot at the back of the head, and Cloud appreciated it as he set his head back on the mattress.

“Zack, come here, please,” Genesis asked, shifting off to one side.

Zack swallowed hard but climbed onto the bed. He allowed himself to be maneuvered into the space Genesis had been in, directly above Cloud’s head.

“Lift your head,” Genesis told Cloud, before scooting Zack forward, so Cloud’s head nestled into the crook between Zack’s calves, with his legs folded as they were. Zack lifted a hand by Cloud’s hair and, after checking for a nod from Genesis, ran his hand through the blond strands.

“Heya, Spike,” Zack said softly.

Cloud’s brow furrowed for a second, having a hard time making sense of what Zack was doing in that position, with his usual reluctance considered. Then Zack’s hand carded through his hair again, and he decided not to worry about it.

“Hi, Zack,” he said softly, an almost-smile on his face, until it fell. “Or, uhm. Should I call you something else?”

“There’s no need to mind your manners with the pup. He’s here to help, not to play,” Genesis said. If Zack decided he wanted to try domming Cloud, they could work out their own honorifics later.

“Alright. Thank you, sir.”

“You’re welcome,” Genesis said, pressing a kiss to his brow. He raised a hand and pressed one fingertip to Cloud’s sternum, watching the little jolt he gave at the sudden, unforeseen contact. Slowly, Genesis dragged his finger down abs that shivered beneath his touch and to the thatch of hair at his groin. He ran all his fingers through it before drifting them gently over Cloud’s hardening length. It was as much as Genesis was willing to give him, the touch only light and teasing. It was enough that Cloud began squirming, not daring to thrust his hips up in demand for more, but unable to sit still either.

Angeal worked quietly, his eyes drifting up every now and then to look at Cloud, but especially when he gave a small gasp or bitten back moan. He wanted to hurry through tying Cloud’s thighs and shins together and attaching his wrists to that, but he didn’t abide by sloppy ropework; Cloud deserved to be pristine.

Zack continued carding his fingers through Cloud’s hair, the blond’s head every now and then leaning into the touch, seeking the affection in a blunt, honest way he never usually did. Zack’s heart melted at the sight every time.

When Angeal finally finished, Genesis took the matching cornflower blue leash and clipped its coppery end to the ring dangling from Cloud’s collar. He jerked Cloud up from the bed just an inch, listening to him gasp, and held him there while he pressed a kiss to his lips. When he allowed Cloud to lie back again, the blond had a soft smile on his face.

Genesis set the leash to one side and said, “Zack, grab a pillow, please.” When Zack did as requested, Genesis gently grabbed Cloud around the waist and flipped him, so he was propped up on his knees, one cheek pressed to the pillow. His back bowed with the position, putting his ass on full display.

“I want you to tell me when your neck starts to ache, Cloud,” Genesis said, deliberately choosing to use his name so Cloud would pay the most attention.

“Yes, sir,” Cloud said seriously; he knew from experience how furious Genesis would be if he ignored that sort of self-care based direction.

“Good,” Genesis said, running one soothing hand down his back. He settled himself at Cloud’s side instead of at a proper angle to spank him, instead looking expectantly at Angeal. Angeal look back at him in surprise and confusion, until Genesis raised his eyebrows and nodded toward Cloud. The silence was stretching, and Cloud was blindfolded. His only sense of what was happening was Zack’s fingers in his hair. Angeal tried to hurriedly communicate that this should be Genesis’s job, but Genesis just gave him a deeply familiar look of complete obstinacy. He’d never once been able to change Genesis’s mind once he got that look. Angeal shook his head but put himself in a better position.

He ran one hand over Cloud’s ass slowly, spreading his fingers wide to cover the whole cheek; the difference in size between them would forever be something that got to Angeal.

“Daddy?” Cloud asked, taking a guess by the size of the hand. His brow was furrowed in concentration.

“It’s me, baby,” Angeal said. He ran his hand over the skin again. “Can you count for me? A full set per count.”

“Yes, daddy,” Cloud said.

Genesis took up the leash and held it just tight enough to be taut, putting a slight pressure on the collar without actually moving Cloud. Angeal pulled his hand away and paused. He watched Cloud tense, waiting for the blow to fall, but unable to see it coming. Angeal tapped his hand to Cloud’s ass and watched him jump, before running a soothing hand over the cheek again.

“Relax,” Angeal reminded. Cloud let out a shaky breath and nodded.

“You’ve got this,” Zack said quietly, making Cloud give a tiny smile and another nod.

Before he finished nodding, Angeal gave one slap to each cheek in quick succession. Cloud gasped and twitched hard in his bonds; Genesis reached out and ran a soothing hand down his back.

“One,” Cloud said, and so they began.

Cloud’s request was to be hit until he couldn’t think. Angeal was carefully monitoring his responses, but he was grateful for the extra sets of eyes in the room. Zack was clearly nervous, not used to being so close to the action, and not knowing what to look for besides. Genesis watched like a hawk, knowing all his tells and where to find the line between when Cloud had enough and when he was holding out to be stubborn, refusing to safeword until he broke. Somewhere along the line, Cloud stopped flinching and gasping, falling quiet and taking the hits in an almost peaceful state. This was when Genesis held a hand up parallel to the bed and slowly lowered it like a volume slider, to show Angeal to start winding down.

Between Angeal’s SOLDIER strength and Cloud’s enhanced stamina and healing, it took 154 sets before they called it quits. Angeal ran his hands soothingly over Cloud’s now bright red ass, leaning down to kiss the base of his spine. As he did so, Genesis climbed off the bed and went fishing in the bedside drawer. Angeal left a trail of kisses up Cloud’s spine.

“Mmmm, are we done, daddy?” Cloud asked. He was infinitely more relaxed than he had been when they began. There were no clenched muscles, no tight lines of tension. He was open and trusting like this; the hardest part was past them.

“Yes, baby, you did so well,” Angeal said as Genesis came back and passed him a bottle off lube. The cap opened with a click and Cloud sighed, allowing his back to bow further. He spread his legs a little, knowing that sound all too well, and what would follow it. Angeal chuckled, pressing one last kiss to Cloud’s back as he worked the lube across his fingers, before he slowly went about preparing Cloud.

“Thank you, daddy,” Cloud mumbled, turning his face to nuzzle almost tiredly into the pillow. Zack’s fingers coasted through his hair and down to the back of his neck, pressing to the muscles there. Cloud arched up just slightly into the touch with a deep hum.

Genesis curved his hand over Cloud’s hip, caressing the skin there gently. He ran his fingers up and down Cloud’s side, dipping them down his legs and over the ropes before going back up. Cloud seemed so content to soak up the touches.

“You always do so well,” Genesis said, watching a little shiver run through Cloud at the praise. “Are you ready for more?”

Taking the cue, Angeal slid another finger into Cloud, who gasped and stiffened before reminding himself to relax.

“Yes, sir.”

Genesis slid his hand underneath Cloud to drag his fingers over his length, watching Cloud’s breath stutter.

“What do we say?” Genesis said with a lilt.

Cloud did what he only allowed himself to do during scenes: he pouted. He didn’t like to beg, not unless he was _very_ far gone with pleasure and need. He huffed.

“Sir, I—“

“That’s not what I wanted to hear, pet.”

Cloud sighed deeply and said, “Please, sir.”

“With some enthusiasm, now.”

“ _Please_ , sir.”

Genesis’s hand properly circled Cloud’s cock for the first time that afternoon, giving it one good stroke. Cloud cried out, hips bucking, but Genesis pulled his hand away immediately. Cloud whined and slumped against the bed as Angeal laughed lightly.

“What do you think, baby? Are you ready?” Angeal asked, thrusting his fingers as deeply into Cloud as they would go. Cloud nodded, still relaxed but getting his energy back now.

“Yes, daddy. Please fuck me.”

Angeal ran a hand up Cloud’s back as he pulled the other free, saying, “You’re always so good for me.”

Cloud let out a shaky breath at the praise, his words coming out with a tremble when he said, “Thank you, daddy.”

Angeal leaned over and grabbed the lube again, quickly slicking his cock before passing it to Genesis, who held out a demanding hand.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, daddy.”

Angeal pressed in slowly, Cloud’s soft, low moan growing for every inch that slid in side. When he was fully hilted, he ran his hands over Cloud’s hips.

Remembering Cloud’s earlier words, about how he had wanted to get Angeal off and be good for him, he said, “Do you want to try doing the work, baby?”

Genesis looked at him in approval and Cloud seemed to light up at the idea and nodded—if he forgot his manners for a second, his simple excitement earned his forgiveness. It took him a second to figure out how to leverage his body in this position, how to shift his shoulder to take the brunt of the movement instead of his neck. His hands wrapped firmly around his ankles for something to hold onto as he went about fucking himself on Angeal’s cock, which turned out to be more of an exercise for his core than he anticipated.

It was a better idea than Angeal knew, to sit still and allow Cloud to handle the movement. It gave Cloud an active task to do, something he could succeed or fail at. He needed, in this moment, to prove to himself that he was worth their affections. This felt like a way to earn it, while also showing them how much he cared. It was giving back and earning his place all at once.

As he did this, Genesis worked one slicked hand between his legs; he didn’t move, just allowed Cloud’s rocking motions to slide him in and out of his hand. He pressed careful kisses to every inch of Cloud’s side that he could reach. He gave Zack a pointed look that Cloud couldn’t see with the blindfold, reminding him that he had a task as well.

Zack continued running his hands through Cloud’s hair and over his skin, but started babbling praise. He talked about how good Cloud was, how well he was doing, how perfect he was being for them. He said that he looked and sounded like a dream, that he listened so well, that he took what he was given like a natural. It had Cloud approaching orgasm far faster than he was proud of.

It was Zack praising him, and Angeal with his cock in Cloud’s ass, but when Cloud started getting dangerously close, it was Genesis he addressed, saying, “Sir, I—I’m gonna—“

“Shhh, pet. You can come whenever you’d like.”

Cloud’s breath left in a relieved rush as he said, “Thank you, sir, I— _ahh!_ Oh _gods_.”

It wasn’t long before Cloud was spilling into Genesis’s hand, who wiped it carelessly on the sheet to the side—they would have to be washed, anyway. He ran his dry hand up Cloud’s back, who slumped against the mattress as much as he was allowed.

But without the impending orgasm distracting him, he realized that his neck _did_ ache from the awkward angle. He didn’t want to say anything, but if he didn’t, and he got caught, he knew Genesis was likely to be properly upset with him. Last time he got caught doing that, Genesis had refused to do a scene with him for a month, until he proved he could be trusted to be honest when it mattered.

So, hesitantly, Cloud said, “Sir, my neck—“

Angeal had pulled out of Cloud immediately. Between him and Genesis, he was easily flipped over onto his back.

“Do you want to keep going, or stop here?” Angeal asked, but Cloud was already shaking his head.

“I don’t want to stop.”

Angeal nodded, though Cloud couldn’t see it, and grabbed another pillow from the headboard. He bunched it under Cloud’s hips to lift them some and pressed his legs a little wider, open and out of the way.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, daddy.”

Angeal slid back inside, but he was already close. With the whines and whimpers coming from an over-stimulated Cloud, he was never going to last much longer. With him doing the work now, he was able to chase his own orgasm freely, with only Cloud’s encouragement in moans as a soundtrack. It wasn’t long before he was spilling inside him.

Angeal blew out a slow breath and slowly pulled out, Cloud letting out a soft sound of loss as he did so.

“What color are you, pet?” Genesis asked, touching Cloud’s cheek.

He smiled and said, “Green.”

“You want to keep going?”

“Yes, sir.”

Genesis shooed Angeal out of the way, who looked amused but complied. He grabbed Cloud by the leash and, when he got settled between his legs, gave one firm tug. Cloud gasped at it, and then grinned.

“I won’t be as sweet as Angeal. Can you take rough right now?” Genesis asked, despite already knowing the answer; he still wanted to check and be sure.

Cloud nodded enthusiastically and said, “Yes, sir.”

Genesis slicked his cock with lube just to be safe before pressing quickly inside Cloud quickly enough that their hips slapped together. The movement was sudden, and only worked without discomfort because of what Angeal had just done. But still, the shock of it had Cloud giving a small cry, his head tossing back against the pillow.

“There’s my good pet,” Genesis purred, tugging the leash taut again as he fucked into Cloud, who was already starting to harden again.

Genesis didn’t feel the need to handle Cloud softly, that Angeal did. For all that he had spanked his ass cherry-red, when it came down to the actual sex, Angeal had let Cloud do the work, and then was relatively gentle. He was trying to handle the situation with care, and Genesis appreciated the thought; care was certainly what Cloud needed right now.

But, after doing this so many times, he knew how Cloud needed it. Hard and rough and fast, similar to the way he’d been fucked all those times before by all those strangers, but with an intensity that only a SOLDIER could bring. If Genesis wasn’t careful, he would trip over the line into overly familiar territory, and make Cloud feel like this was another fling where he was being used more than cared for.

Genesis knew how to be careful with Cloud, though; he’d made that mistake before, and had no intention of making it twice. For all that the act was rough and harsh, his grip on the leash was a firm reminder that this wasn’t something he’d allowed anyone before Genesis. His free hand was caressing Cloud’s skin softly, and when Zack wasn’t praising him, Genesis offered his own kind words.

Genesis cursed when he came before Cloud; it frustrated him to no end when that happened, because this was about Cloud, no matter how much the blond was aiming to get someone else off. But Cloud painted a lovely picture like this, bound but willing, his sounds of appreciation filling the air, his expression and body language open and trusting. It didn’t help that Cloud knew exactly how and when to tighten around Genesis to get him to come as fast as possible.

The second he had come down from his high, though, Genesis pulled out and shifted down between Cloud’s legs, swallowing down his cock. Cloud shouted his surprise and pleasure, and, as he had already been starting to get close himself, began to beg with his heart fully in it. He knew how Genesis could get, when he was the one who came first. He got frustrated with himself and then strove to make Cloud as desperate as possible, so his release would be that much sweeter when he was finally allowed it. Cloud was infinitely relieved that he didn’t seem interested in playing that game today, instead letting him come down his throat.

Cloud was still panting on the bed when Genesis leaned back and licked his lips. Angeal was watching, curious to see what Genesis would do next.

Before Genesis could make the next move, Cloud said, “Zack?”

Zack glanced up at Genesis, who shrugged one shoulder.

“Yeah, sunshine?”

“Your turn?”

Zack huffed a laugh and leaned down to kiss Cloud on the mouth.

“Another time, alright?”

Cloud gave his rare pout again and started to say, “But—“

Until Genesis interrupted, “It isn’t your call, pet. I think we’re done for today.”

Cloud sighed and slumped fully back against the mattress. Genesis moved over to his head, prompting him to lift it by touching the back gently. He unwound the blindfold from his face, and Cloud slowly blinked open his eyes, squinting into the dim evening light. Angeal, who had moved over to his legs, began untying him.

“How do you feel, my love?” Genesis said, carding a hand through Cloud’s hair. His eyes were soft and doe-like.

Cloud gaze matched as he smiled and said, “Better. So much better. Thank you.”

Genesis leaned down to kiss him again and unclipped the leash, but left the collar—Cloud liked to wear it until he was entirely out of subspace. It was one of the reasons Genesis was glad he’d shelled out for an expensive, custom one instead of store-bought; at least this way it was comfortable.

“You were amazing,” Angeal said, glancing up at Cloud from between his legs. Cloud shot a look down at him just in time to meet his eye, but looked away with a blush. “I mean that.”

“I’m very proud of you, Cloud,” Genesis said quietly, drawing a wide-eyed look from Cloud. “I know how much I asked for, when I suggested bringing in Zack and Angeal. You really were amazing.”

Cloud made a show of rolling his eyes and huffing before tilting his head back and shutting his eyes.

“I don’t know how you do that, not when you’re that upset,” Zack said above him.

“Not you too,” Cloud grumbled, but his tone was soft.

Zack’s fingers brushed his cheek, and Cloud peeked up at him.

“It might be fun to try, on a normal day. I don’t know that I could do that while feeling as… raw, as you seemed to.”

“‘Raw,’ huh? There’s a joke there somewhere,” Cloud said with a small smile.

“I mean it, Cloud,” Zack said with unusual severity. The humor slowly faded from Cloud’s face, and was replaced by a blush.

“I, uhm. Thank you, then.”

Zack leaned down to kiss his forehead and said, “You’re welcome. And thank _you_ for letting us be here.”

“Thank you for trusting me to help,” Angeal said, patting Cloud’s now-free ankles. Cloud stretched his legs and circled his wrists.

“Gen was right. It was time.”

It was a nice sentiment, but it was ruined by the way the word “time” was swallowed by a yawn. Cloud had just been on an emotional rollercoaster, and had two orgasms, besides.

“Time for a rest, I think,” Genesis said, pulling the soiled sheet down and away before fetching their comforter off the floor. By the time he was back, Zack was cuddling Cloud up by the headboard, with Angeal leaving as much of a space for him on the bed as he could, considering there wasn’t much room. He assumed Genesis would want to be next to Cloud, and he was right.

Genesis slid into the spot left for him, quietly kissing Angeal’s cheek in thanks for understanding, before drawing the comforter over the lot of them. He held Cloud close—well, they all held each other close, considering the proximity. But Cloud got a hazy smile on his face of pure contentment and quickly began drifting off.

“Gen?” Cloud mumbled, before he fell asleep entirely.

“Yes, love?”

“We’re gonna need a bigger bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise we'll get to Sephiroth soon!


	16. Chapter 16

It was a grand total of four and a half months since they had found Angeal and Zack again, not that Cloud was counting—only that he very much was. Things were _good_ with Angeal and Zack, him and Genesis, much too good. Things in Cloud’s life just _didn’t_ go this way. Bullied and all but exiled in Nibelheim. Bullied and exiled again in Shinra, until he met Zack, but his time with Zack clearly hadn’t lasted. Nibelheim. Meteorfall. Advent Day.

Things hadn’t started to get good and stay good until he met Genesis, but with Genesis, there had been enough rocky patches that he was less on edge. They had both had their bad days. They had difficulty adjusting to one another. They had even more difficulty coming to terms with the idea of balancing their new relationship with their lost lovers.

Not that there were no rough moments with Zack and Angeal. There were still bad days, there was still an adjustment period. But, perhaps because of the stability he had already built with Genesis, it went much quicker this time. There was no need to worry about still respecting the memory of their previous partners when said partners were _there_ , and that took all the guilt and grief out of the equation.

Once they had gotten over the hurdle of Angeal’s jealousy, things fell into place with surprising ease. There was just too much familiarity between the lot of them; it was nothing like building something from the ground, the way he had with Genesis. Things were new between Angeal and Cloud, but with Zack and Genesis there to ease the way, they were falling into an easy pattern quickly.

The hard part was convincing Cloud that things would stay as good as they had gotten. He was so sure that, sooner or later, he could become extraneous. That Genesis, Zack, and Angeal would cease to need or want him. He just couldn’t see that he was a necessary part of the equation, and in some ways, the glue that held them all together. He was sure that Zack had moved on and that Genesis would backslide and that Angeal had never truly fallen for him to begin with.

Most of the time, Cloud was able to reassure himself. He was able to pull up examples of times where they had stated their love and he had mostly believed them, of times when they had shown their affection in ways that he was relatively certain couldn’t have been faked—instinctual responses and gestures that had clearly come without thought behind them.

But there were times when it wasn’t enough. Those were the times where he went to Genesis and asked for a scene; except, now that they had crossed the bridge, he could go to any of them. After the fateful scene with Genesis, Angeal, and Zack all present, Zack had figured out that he wanted to try. He did his own scenes to try and figure out what he wanted. Angeal dommed for him, and helped him work out his own likes; he had more history with Angeal, and it was easier to bare his throat to him that way.

The one that really helped Zack come into his own with kink was Genesis, and it made their relationship much stronger. Genesis, being a switch and comfortable in either role, gave Zack more freedom and flexibility to explore. Genesis taught him, above all else, that there was no wrong way to do this, as long as it was done healthily. There was no judgement for Zack’s likes or dislikes, or for needing to pause or stop at any point. Genesis became a deeply safe person for Zack to be around, and it helped him be honest and vulnerable outside the bedroom as well.

Their explorations showed Zack to also be a switch, which led him to finally daring to try with Cloud. Submitting to Angeal had been easy, because he was used to Angeal taking control from their mentorship. Similarly, it felt simple to lead Cloud, just as he had when he had been teaching him during their Shinra days.

At first, Zack was only comfortable trying with Cloud when Genesis was present. Angeal and Cloud may play on their own often enough, but it was Genesis who had been doing scenes with Cloud for longer. Genesis knew all his fine lines, all his tricks and tells; he knew how to do this the safest. With Genesis there to make sure things went right, Zack felt comfortable finding his footing with Cloud.

After quite some time, Cloud was comfortable with them all. When he was questioning a specific person’s affections, he didn’t feel the need to go to Genesis every time; he went to who he needed reassurance from, now.

When they got to that point, Cloud truly began to get antsy. Because, now, he was less waiting to be discarded, and more waiting for the curse of his last name to strike again. Because, if he accepted that they weren’t going to leave him behind, he had to accept that trouble would come from somewhere else.

So Cloud did what he always did.

He ran.

He began taking more deliveries, especially long ones. When his partners questioned him about his absence, he gave them platitudes. He said that, now that everyone was settled, it was time for him to get back to normal. Never mind that his “normal” was taking too many deliveries as a distraction strategy—only Tifa knew that.

At least, until Genesis asked her about it, and she ratted him out.

And, of course, Genesis with his instance on open communication immediately told the others.

It prompted Cloud being sat down and talked to until he confessed that he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. That something was bound to go wrong and it was a matter of when, not if; his whole life story guaranteed it.

They gave him pretty excuses. They told him that was a trauma response, that his brain had been trained to expect the worst after being through so much. That time would convince him that nothing was going to go wrong, and that they would be there both with him and for him until he saw that. That he didn’t have to run away from them.

He had insisted that he understood. And then he had left on a week-long delivery the next morning.

And now it was four months and three weeks, as he walked in his door after said delivery.

When he did, Genesis was there waiting for him.

“Do not sit down,” he said. He grabbed Rapier from where it was leaning against the kitchen table he was sitting at and climbed to his feet. “Angeal! Zack!”

“What is this?” Cloud said, narrowing his eyes as he listened to what was likely Zack thundering down the stairs. Angeal came ambling around the corner a moment later.

“Are we ready?” Angeal asked Genesis, before smiling at Cloud. “Welcome home, Cloud.”

“Once the pup is here, we will be,” Genesis said, deliberately not answering Cloud.

“Hey, Angeal,” Cloud said, before looking back to Genesis. “Answer my question, Gen.”

“I’m here! Let’s go!” Zack said, skidding around the corner. He bounded up to Cloud, kissed his cheek, and then grabbed the sword Cloud had lent him from its rack on the wall. He grabbed Angeal’s and tossed it to him; they had decided to leave the Buster Sword in its place, as a memorial to all that had happened, if not to their lives. Cloud had given them pick of the blades he had collected during Meteorfall; Angeal had chosen Heaven’s Cloud and Zack had chosen Ultima Weapon. Angeal caught the sword and Genesis came to stand in front of Cloud, sheathing his sword as he went. He came to stand in front of Cloud before turning him by the shoulders and leaving his hands in place.

“We’re going to do what you’ve been avoiding,” Genesis said, watching and feeling as Cloud went stiff beneath his hands. He pushed pointedly, and Cloud took a stilted few steps forward.

“Gen, this is a bad idea.”

Genesis began steering a reluctant Cloud back outside, and then down the street.

“It isn’t. It will go a long way in convincing you that nothing bad will happen.”

“Something bad _will_ happen, and it will only go wrong quicker if we fight.”

“It’s a spar, not a fight, Cloud.”

“I don’t know how to spar with swords, Genesis, you know that.”

“Well, then it’s time you learn.”

“ _Genesis_.”

“It isn’t that different from sparring with fists. Tifa says you’ve done that.”

“I have, but I don’t use my fists in a serious fight. If I’m using a sword, it’s going to be all instinct.”

“We’ll start slow, so you use your head enough to keep everyone out of trouble.”

“ _Start_ slow. When it _stops_ being slow, it will still end up on instinct, and I’ll still hurt someone.”

“Nonsense. I swear to you, Cloud, it’s just practice. Once you’re in the right mindset, it will be fine. You’ll hold back.”

“And if I don’t?”

“You’ll be horrified the second you smell blood and you’ll stop. We can all take a hit or two—stop fussing.”

“But I—“

“Cloud, I refuse to believe even you could kill us in one hit. Unless you’re suggesting you finished Sephiroth off with a single stroke?”

“ _No_ , but—“

“Angeal and I have sparred with Sephiroth many times. We can spar with you.”

Cloud sighed in frustration, knowing this to be a lost cause now. All he could do was hope whatever eventual injuries happened weren’t _too_ bad.

“Where are we going, anyway?”

“The church. The area is relatively empty, so we’ll be undisturbed, and there’s room to maneuver. We’ll have somewhere comfortable to catch our breath in after, as well.”

Cloud ruffled his hair.

“I want it on the record that this is a bad idea.”

“Yes, yes, if this goes poorly, you can gloat to us all you like.”

Zack and Angeal followed along behind them, looking at each other. Neither was quite convinced this was going to be as big a deal as Genesis and Cloud made it out to be. They knew that Cloud had taken down Sephiroth, but by Cloud’s own admission, it was after an extended fight with Sephiroth’s other forms, when he had help. It was only the last, and while that form might have been fresh, surely the earlier fights had an effect. Genesis seemed to think it was the same as taking on Sephiroth as the height of his power and winning without assistance, but Zack and Angeal just couldn’t wrap their brains around that notion.

Genesis knew this, and he understood it. He’d had the same notions until he had gone with Cloud on a delivery that brought them by the Mythril Mines. He’d been… untoward with Cloud, a little too close to the swamps, and gotten them thoroughly distracted. Neither had realized there were oncoming zoloms until they were surrounded. He’d watched Cloud dispatch them quickly and easily with nothing more than a sigh of irritation, and then he’d started to get a better read on the truth. Cloud was being humble about the entire situation—rather, his skewed view of his own self-worth was getting in the way of the truth.

When they got there, Cloud stood hesitantly in front of the church, watching the others limber up.

“Can I go first?” Zack asked.

“It might be best if we all go together,” Genesis suggested, concerned about the disparity of skill between them.

“That sounds like a bad idea, Gen. Let Zack try,” Angeal said, convinced that Genesis was exaggerating. Cloud might be good, but surely not that good.

“Cloud?” Genesis asked, watching Cloud frown and shrug.

“I don’t know shit about how this works. You work it out.”

Genesis sighed, realizing he was outnumbered.

“Okay, but _go slow_ , Zack.”

Zack grinned and said, “Absolutely.” He swung Ultima in a spin so familiar Cloud saw double before setting it behind his back. Cloud bristled, folding his arms over his chest for a sense of security and comfort. He already felt out of sorts with all of this, and gestures like that would only make it worse. Not that he planned on stating this out loud. “I’m ready if you are.”

“As I’ll ever be,” Cloud grumbled, slowly pushing away from the door of the church he was leaning against. He walked forward reluctantly, pulling his sword free as he went. Genesis and Angeal parted to make way for him, going to take his place by the church. Zack settled into a ready stance with a broad grin. Cloud mirrored him, his pose identical, but looked nowhere near as thrilled.

“You start,” Zack said. Genesis frowned; he was underestimating Cloud, he was sure of it. This was going to go poorly.

Cloud took in a deep breath, blew it out slowly, and mouthed a curse. Angeal took Genesis’s hand to offer him silent support as they watched Cloud move forward at what was surely not his full speed and swing a loudly telegraphed overhead strike. Zack blocked it easily, but nodded his encouragement. There was a beat that lasted a second too long, where Cloud waited for a response that wasn’t coming; Zack was refusing to go on the offensive. Cloud frowned but swung again, still making his movements obvious.

They did this for a while, Zack refusing to push Cloud and Cloud refusing to try very hard out of fear of hurting Zack. It looked almost like a training exercise for Third Class SOLDIERs, with the rate they were going. Zack seemed to almost look like a patient teacher and Cloud an uncertain student. It was all wrong.

So Genesis decided to fix it. With an impatient click of the tongue, he lobbed a fireball at Cloud, who swung through it in the blink of an eye, dissipating it with ease.

Cloud frowned at Genesis, but Zack was busy blinking at the speed Cloud had shown. Maybe he _wasn’t_ taking this seriously enough.

So he began a light offensive. He telegraphed his movements as loudly as Cloud did, and with the similarities between their styles, it was all childishly easy. But it was a step in the right direction, so Genesis sat back. He decided that it was better to let them have this, so Cloud got some practice with the idea of sparring.

He could see the moment Cloud stopped being afraid and started being irritated. He was being underestimated, and when he wasn’t busy being afraid of hurting Zack, that smarted. He wasn’t the trooper Zack thought he was anymore. Every single instant where Zack treated him like a teenager again had gotten under his skin, from the second they found Zack and Angeal in the church. Sometimes it was justified, when Cloud was uncertain or backed down too easily. But he was very much no longer accustomed to being treated like a weakling on the battlefield. He was the peak of combat, now, godsdammit. He wouldn’t be treated like a trooper any longer.

So he slowly began ramping things up. He stopped telegraphing so obviously. He increased their speed. He made his movements more complex. He increased the difficulty gently enough that Zack didn’t notice, until suddenly, he was fighting tooth and nail to keep up with _Cloud_ , who looked entirely unruffled. It felt very much like when he was a newly minted Third and had let his SOLDIER status go to his head in his first spar against Angeal. He’d thought he was much better than he was, and Angeal had put him firmly in his place so they could start over correctly, with an accurate understanding of their skill.

It was only cemented when Cloud disarmed him with an easy flick of the wrist and followed the strike through, knocking his shoulder into Zack’s sternum. Zack felt himself be lifted from the floor by the hit, knocked back a few feet until he skidded across the ground to a stop. He fought to catch his breath.

But then he looked up, and Cloud had a hand in his face, offering to help him up.

“How many times do I have to show you I’m not a kid anymore, Zack?” he said, but his tone was more fond exasperation than true irritation.

“’Least one more time, same as always,” Zack said, grinning readily as he accepted the hand. Cloud hauled him to his feet and he groaned, rubbing at his sternum. Cloud frowned.

“Did I hit you too hard?”

“I think you mostly just bruised my pride. I remember when you were a pipsqueak!” Zack said, leaning down to grab Ultima before swinging it onto his back with no flourish.

“That was a while ago.”

“Feels like yesterday.”

“Angeal,” Genesis interrupted, nudging the man with an elbow. “I believe you’re next.”

“Don’t you want to go?” he asked, turning to look at Genesis; he had to drag his eyes away from Cloud, who showed much more skill than he was expecting.

“I do, but I’m not the one who needs a lesson in how dangerous that man is. Go get your ass handed to you.”

Angeal frowned and said, “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“You don’t think I can do it, you mean,” Cloud said, his expression cool and even. “Come on, then.”

“I didn’t say that, Cloud.”

“No, but I know you well enough by now to know that’s what you meant. Get over here, Angeal. I didn’t bust my ass as much as I did to still be treated like a trooper.”

“Cloud, I—“

“Last warning. One more word and I’m knocking you on your ass before you can even try to defend yourself.”

Angeal sighed but obliged, grabbing Heaven’s Cloud from the wall and going to stand in roughly the same spot Zack had been, as Cloud took up his original spot. Their ready stances still essentially matched, as Zack had learned his from Angeal. Zack ducked out of the way to go stand by Genesis, wrapping an arm around the redhead’s shoulders and leaning against him.

“You coulda warned me,” Zack said under his breath as Cloud began, taking one calm but confident swing at Angeal. He gave him a chance to block it, easing him into the combat the way he had with Zack, but with much more confidence this time. Sparring was clearly coming to him much more easily than he had anticipated.

“I tried to,” Genesis said, watching as Angeal countered.

“Not very hard.”

“Not very, no. You’ve always needed to learn things the hard way.”

Zack sighed and shrugged, admitting without words that it was the truth. They went back to watching the spar.

It went much the way his spar with Zack had gone. Their styles, through the filter of Zack, had enough similarities that Cloud was able to easily predict what Angeal was going to try next and his every upcoming movement. Cloud, on the other hand, had picked up enough differences to be difficult for Angeal to read. There were a few moves he recognized from _Sephiroth_ of all people, things Cloud must have stolen to use for himself. Enough of it was simply _Cloud_ that it was foreign—he was built for speed, while Angeal was built for strength. He’d had to adapt some of Angeal’s original movements to work for his lithe strength instead, to the point where Angeal almost didn’t recognize himself as the source.

To Angeal’s surprise, the skill disparity between himself and Cloud was as bad as it had been between Zack and Cloud. He hadn’t forgotten that he had lost to Zack, all those years ago, but he _had_ thought the battle had been more uneven than it actually was. He’d thought he’d thrown that fight. Apparently the degradation had skewed his perspective of that, as well.

He didn’t last much longer before being knocked flat on his own ass, much as Zack had. Cloud had the good graces to help him up without comment. Angeal looked properly chastised as he went to go return to the church, but Genesis just stepped forward and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him back around, much as he had to Cloud earlier. Angeal looked over his shoulder at him, confused.

“Aren’t you going to go?”

“I don’t need a lesson in how deadly Cloud is. You’ll remember that I suggested we fight, all of us against him, from the start.”

“But—“

“Surely, you don’t still think he couldn’t take all of us.”

“I mean—“

“Then we’re absolutely doing it. Come on then. Zack, let’s go.”

Zack looked hesitant, but followed. It was one thing, to take them on one by one and win easily. It was another to fight the lot of them.

“Genesis,” Cloud tried, “I’m still not sure—“

“Have you hurt anyone yet, Cloud?”

“No, but—“

“Hush.”

“ _But_ —“

Genesis rolled his eyes and stepped deftly out from behind Angeal, drawing his sword as he did so. He launched smoothly into an attack that silenced Cloud.

He was surprised when his attack hit Ultima instead of First Tsurugi.

Zack blinked and stared back at Genesis with as much surprise as Genesis was looking at him with.

“Zack?”

“I, uh, sorry,” Zack said. “Old habits die hard.”

A year on the run, spent protecting Cloud with life and limb, was going to make it difficult to fight _with_ a perceived threat against him. But Zack was willing to try. When Genesis opened his mouth, a furrow in his brow, to suggest that maybe they try something else, Zack just waved his hand dismissively. He went and stood behind Genesis, willing himself to be still.

Genesis, however, was too busy looking at Zack in concern, worried that maybe this would trigger unfortunate memories, to start the fight. So Angeal stepped forward and rushed Cloud himself. With Zack so busy worrying about Genesis worrying about him, he didn’t have time to get in the way. His head shot up when he heard steel ring against steel, but was able to force himself not to move as he watched Angeal and Cloud clash again, this time with his sword still in his hands.

He and Genesis watched Cloud and Angeal fight again, this time from a ready and waiting position. Then, watching Zack and making sure he was aware, he slowly set his sword ablaze. When Zack didn’t react again, Genesis leapt into the fray.

Cloud was able to keep up easily with the added combatant. He just had to slip free a second blade from the whole of his first, which he did with complete ease before the first blow even landed. Zack stood back and watched for a moment, letting his racing heart and breath steadily slow. He nitpicked every movement and gesture, proving to himself backwards and forwards that Cloud was capable. That he was deadly. That this was not the way things had been before. Cloud was not some comatose almost-corpse he was dragging around the continents, that couldn’t defend himself. Cloud could kill them all, if he so chose. The proof of that was before his eyes.

Zack took a deep breath and slid into the battle. He wasn’t fighting at full capacity, too busy trying to restrain the instinct to defend Cloud. More than once, he failed, and lunged to catch a strike meant for Cloud. He got surprised looks every time it happened, but no chastisement; his reasons why were understood implicitly, even if the gesture was unnecessary.

He got over it slowly, with time and practice. By the end of the fight, he, Angeal, and Genesis were fighting Cloud seamlessly. They wove in and out around each other, Cloud the fixed point around which they all orbited. Cloud danced between them with easy grace. After a while, he even did so with a one of his small, rare smiles; he hadn’t anticipated this being fun, but it certainly was.

Still, it came to an end eventually. It did not end with anyone skewered or run through or bleeding out, as Cloud had expected. It ended with Genesis thrown into the side of the church, Angeal slumped against a pile of rubble to one side, and Zack with the tip of First Tsurugi at his throat. Zack slowly held his hands up with a grin. Genesis groaned as he climbed to his feet. He exchanged a meaningful look with Angeal while Cloud was busy staring at Zack in surprise that things had gone so well.

It really was like fighting Sephiroth all over again.

Cloud slowly went about reassembling his sword and barely had it put on his back before Zack did something he hadn’t in quite a while. He put Cloud in a headlock and smooshed his hand into the locks, rubbing them wildly.

“Look at my Cloudy, all grown up!”

“Zack,” he grumbled, but with a thread of amusement beneath it.

“I remember teaching you the right way to hold your sword, and now look at you! Kicking our asses ten ways to Sunday!”

“ _Zack_.”

“Who knew you’d be the tough guy out of all of us!”

At that, Cloud finally shrugged him off, but did so with a small, pleased smile on his lips. It was _infinitely_ better than being called a hero.

“C’mon. Let’s go in the church.”

“Don’t tell me you need a breather.”

“He doesn’t, but I do,” Angeal said, rubbing at his side, as Cloud frowned, watching the movement.

“Are you okay?”

“You didn’t hit too hard,” Angeal reassured. “You just ran me ragged. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to fight like that.”

_Since Sephiroth_ , he didn’t say, but Genesis heard it nonetheless.

“Inside, then,” Genesis said, going to the door and opening it, as he was the closest.

They all filed it, chattering about the fight. Zack kept crowing his praises, as Cloud slowly turned redder and redder. He began telling Zack to shut up and knock it off in every way he knew how, but sounded more flustered than angry. Angeal—ever the mentor, even when outmatched—began adding to Zack’s comments, pointing out the things Cloud had done well. Cloud, who had largely taught himself, had no idea what to do with such comments and fell quiet, as Angeal and Zack went on about all the things they found impressive about Cloud’s fighting style. The two went to sit in the front pew, still babbling. Cloud stood in front of them awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot, until Genesis came to stand beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“They’re right, you know,” his voice just low enough that Angeal and Zack didn’t bother interrupting their conversation to address what he was saying, as it clearly wasn’t meant for them.

“You’re all flatterers.”

“No, we’re highly trained swordsmen who made their careers out of combat who are deeply impressed with your skills. Take the compliment, Cloud.”

Cloud huffed and looked away. With his head turned to the side, he was at just the right angle to see the movement behind them.

Whatever noise there was, it was entirely covered by Zack’s excited exclamations and Angeal’s rumbled responses. Cloud could imagine, as he turned to watch what had caught his eye, that he could hear the sound of water splashing and dripping over the conversation, even though he couldn’t quite. The color drained from his face all at once and he sucked in a sharp breath, going impossibly still under Genesis’s arm. The sound of his gasp and the way he went tense drew Genesis to look at him, and then to follow his gaze backward toward the front of the church. He cursed quietly, and began to move before Cloud could get through his surprise, knowing every moment would count. He only barely got in place fast enough to raise his sword and catch Cloud’s with a loud clang in front of the pool.

“Cloud, _no_!” Genesis cried. The conversation on the pew fell silent in a heartbeat.

“Out of the way, Genesis!” Cloud demanded, his eyes firmly over Genesis’s shoulder.

Fixed entirely on Sephiroth who was standing, dripping wet, in the pool of Aerith’s water.

Sephiroth tilted his head in curiosity, and the gesture made Cloud bristle. It made him feel like a bug pinned to a board, and it was not an unfamiliar feeling, with Sephiroth.

Behind them, he heard Zack jump to his feet. He also heard as he was jerked to a stop, unable to get any further or draw his sword from the grip Angeal already had around his wrist.

“Angeal, let me go—“

“Cloud, take a moment and think—“

“Genesis, don’t make me go through you—“

“Cloud, what is happening here?”

It was a deeply strange comment, not for the words, but for the fact that it came from Sephiroth.

A hush fell over the room.

Only Cloud was not surprised that he was the one addressed. He had been the object of Sephiroth’s obsession for too long for it to be a surprise. Everyone else fell away in an instant, as they locked eyes over Genesis’s shoulder.

“You tell me,” Cloud spat.

“I’m supposed to be the only ghost that haunts you,” Sephiroth answered, his head tilted to one side. Not understanding, but calm.

“Gaia, when did you get so dramatic?” Genesis grumbled. He didn’t dare move; if he dislodged Cloud’s sword, the fight would resume, and he couldn’t be sure he’d be fast enough to stop him a second time.

“You are the only ghost that haunts me,” Cloud answered, too wrapped up in Sephiroth to realize Genesis had even spoken; the man had always been a whirlpool, and Cloud had always been helpless to being dragged into his depths. “You’re the only one who _died_ ; it’s time you stayed dead.”

A small crease formed in Sephiroth’s brow.

“They… never died?”

“No,” Cloud said as his eyes narrowed. He was thrown off balance by Sephiroth actually _showing_ confusion. It just wasn’t something he did. “Still want to try and make a husk out of the Planet, knowing you’d kill them too?”

With a look of infinite bewilderment, Sephiroth said, “… No.”

Cloud froze. The pressure he put on Genesis’s blade eased up.

“ _No?_ ”

“It makes their betrayal worse, I’ll admit, that they chose to stay away,” Sephiroth said, finally turning his eyes away from Cloud to look at first Genesis, then Angeal. “But I refuse to have their blood on my hands.”

“We didn’t abandon you, and if you two will just let me get a word in edgewise, I can explain that,” Genesis snapped.

“What do you mean?” Sephiroth asked, even as Cloud said, “You don’t owe him an explanation.”

“I do, Cloud.”

“You don’t.”

“ _What do you mean?_ ” Sephiroth insisted.

“Look at him,” Genesis insisted. “He’s been in the water, Cloud.”

Cloud finally realized that it was true, that Sephiroth was drenched head-to-toe in Aerith’s water. If he accepted the truth as he had always known it, then Sephiroth’s J-cells were stable, now. He and Genesis had agreed, after talking it over months and months ago, that Sephiroth had degraded mentally, whereas Genesis had degraded moreso physically. That at least part of the cause had been Jenova’s influence. If she was no more able to affect Sephiroth than she was Cloud, now, then where did that leave them?

“Explain yourself, Genesis,” Sephiroth demanded, staring now at the redhead’s back.

Cloud stared at him. At his all-too human expression of confusion that barely hid both hope and hurt.

This was not the figure from Cloud’s nightmares. It wasn’t the idol he remembered, either, or even the man he had known for a few short days on the trip to Nibelheim, but it was not the monster he lost sleep over.

He slowly lowered his sword. Genesis lowered his as well, much more warily. Cloud put First Tsurugi in the sheath on his back.

“That’s it?” Zack snapped. “Cloud, I know how you feel about the water, but—“

“Zack, between the two of us, who knows more about Jenova?”

Zack fell silent. Sephiroth’s eyes shot up to Cloud at the mention of his “mother’s” name, but quickly flickered back to Genesis.

Cloud walked backward, refusing to turn his back to Sephiroth. He very pointedly took a seat at the pew.

“Go on,” he said. “Explain.”

Genesis was used to being a commander. After that part of his life had ended, he was used to being the dominant person, between himself and Cloud. For all that Cloud had a hard head that frequently butted against his own, he was not one to put his foot down on things. If you made a case with him, he listened. It might take quite a lot of convincing, because Cloud was as stubborn as they came, but it could be done.

Cloud’s tone now brooked no argument. When it came to Sephiroth, he had the last word. It didn’t matter that it was Genesis and Angeal who had known him for ages. It didn’t matter that Angeal, Genesis, and Zack had all been close friends with him. Cloud was the one who knew him at his worst, who knew what he had the potential to become. Cloud was the one who had suffered the most at his hand, and the one who had put him down, when it had come to it. In the end, it was his decision.

Genesis respected that. He nodded and turned to Sephiroth, who arched an impatient eyebrow at him.

“You are aware that I degraded,” Genesis started.

“I am.”

“Degradation comes with mental effects that we were not aware of at the time. It wasn’t until I was cured that I realized how far out of touch my thinking had been. It was never my plan to abandon you—it wasn’t even my plan to bring Angeal. I was scrambling for a cure and not thinking like myself; my only interest was self-preservation. It didn’t occur to me that you might be able to help, not until I burned that bridge.”

“Angeal did go with you.”

“He made his own choice, while his own thoughts were degrading. Just because his degradation did not show as quickly without a wound to act as a catalyst does not mean it wasn’t present. He would never have made Zack attempt to kill him if he was himself, and you should know that.”

Sephiroth’s eyes cut over to Angeal, who nodded somberly.

“I wasn’t thinking straight. I thought I was a monster, and that I had to be put down like one. I thought it was my only choice. I thought I was keeping you safe, by keeping my distance.”

“I understand that we left you behind,” Genesis said, as gently as he could. “I’m not demanding that you forgive us for that. I am only explaining that we made that decision with impaired thought processes, and hoping that you might be willing to try.”

“He’s the one who ought to be apologizing,” Zack said through gritted teeth, though he fell silent when Angeal’s hand clamped around his arm.

Sephiroth glanced to him. There was a furrow between his brows again. A slight frown formed on his lips.

“You might know a bit about making decisions while not wholly yourself,” Genesis tried. The furrow in Sephiroth’s brow deepened at the suggestion.

“I was myself,” Sephiroth explained. “I was not _possessed_ by Mother.” Cloud went visibly stiff at the word. “I have made no action that I did not think through to its entirety.”

“You were acting on false information, with your ability to think properly impaired—I know it felt logical, because my own actions felt the same at the time. Everything in that library you found was a lie—planted by Hojo to manipulate you. Even Cloud will admit that’s the truth,” Genesis said, looking over his shoulder at Cloud.

Sephiroth followed his gaze to Cloud, who scowled hard, but nodded.

Sephiroth scowled, his brow knitting more. He looked deeply disconcerted.

“What wasn’t true?”

Genesis turned to Cloud, who crossed his arms over his chest.

“Jenova wasn’t an Ancient, and neither are you,” Cloud explained. “She’s an alien parasite. Your urge to ‘sail the cosmos’ was her trying to return where she came from. You have a human mother. Her name is Lucertia. Hojo was your father. They allowed you to be injected with Jenova’s cells while still in the womb. You have no claim to the Planet, or to godhood. You’re just a man who was experimented on, like everyone else in the room.”

Sephiroth’s face slowly shut down into a look of complete blankness as Cloud spoke. Because Cloud was infinitely tuned in to reading every movement and gesture Sephiroth ever gave, he noticed the second his fingers began to tremble, just slightly.

“I… need time to think,” Sephiroth said, unwilling to make any concessions without a chance to process the information.

Genesis looked at Cloud with raised eyebrows. Cloud gritted his teeth; this was not a stray he wanted to bring home. 

He stood abruptly.

“Get out of the water, then. You’re coming home with us.”

It didn’t matter what he wanted, after all; just what had to be done. He had to keep an eye on Sephiroth or kill him now. He had long since accepted that Sephiroth was not truly at fault for what happened, and if that was true, then it would be hypocritical to kill him now. He had done too many things he regretted while not in control of himself to do otherwise. That this was the man who had stripped his control was irrelevant.

“Cloud, _what?_ You can’t possibly trust him,” Zack said, looking between the two of them, even as Angeal and Genesis sagged slightly in their relief.

“I don’t. That’s exactly why I want him where I can keep an eye on him.”

Sephiroth climbed out of the pool, looking between them all. Genesis gave him an encouraging smile.

“Don’t worry, Cloud can be reasonable,” Genesis reassured under his breath.

Much louder, not having heard him, Zack said, “Where are you even going to put him?”

“I do not trust Cloud Strife to be reasonable when it comes to me,” Sephiroth muttered back, watching Cloud climb to his feet. Angeal finally let Zack go, and they both got up quickly.

“On the couch,” Cloud answered.

“Where he can just walk out?” Zack asked.

“You should,” Genesis insisted. “I’ve never met a man who gives out second chances the way Cloud does.”

“He can’t walk out if I’m there watching him.”

“You’re not going to sleep?”

“No. Don’t worry, I’ll keep him up too; I won’t give him an advantage like that over me.”

Sephiroth frowned and said, “I believe I’ve already burned through my second chance with him. Perhaps my third and fourth, as well.”

“Trust me, Sephiroth,” Genesis said.

When Genesis put a hand on his shoulder, Sephiroth didn’t brush it off. He didn’t step away, or even go stiff. He almost seemed to relax under the familiar touch.

“This will all go terribly,” Sephiroth muttered to Genesis, but as Zack and Cloud ran out of conversation, the whole room heard it. The three people he hadn’t been talking to looked to him.

Then Cloud looked away. He gestured toward the door. Zack and Angeal went first, but Genesis and Sephiroth followed. Cloud trailed after them all, keeping only a step behind Sephiroth, just to be safe.

As he fell in line behind him, Cloud said, “How terribly this goes is all up to you.”

They began the trek home, and all Cloud could think was that maybe Genesis had been right, and the spar had gone fine, but that he was wrong on the whole. The curse of his last name had _certainly_ struck again, and what a shoe it decided to drop this time.


	17. Chapter 17

The walk back to their home happened in silence. Angeal, at once point, tried to hold Zack’s hand to offer silent support, but Zack had pulled his hand away, too frustrated that Angeal had immediately sided with Sephiroth to allow the comfort. Genesis longed to do the same with Cloud, but thought it might be responded to the same way—not that he could reach. Cloud was still following behind him and Sephiroth, refusing to take his eyes away from his old enemy’s back.

Genesis had seen Cloud many ways. He had seen him on the offensive and in battle before, but it had nothing on this. He’d never been so serious, so _cold_. He was still sensible, and still as warm-hearted; if he wasn’t, he never would have given Sephiroth the chance that he did. But Genesis could see that he was aching for a resolution, to just do what so much time had taught him was the only right thing to do when faced with Sephiroth.

Genesis didn’t bring it up. He just got them into the home. There weren’t enough chairs to have this discussion at their kitchen table, their preferred spot for serious talks. Instead, Genesis took the lead when Angeal and Zack looked back to see where they should go. He led them to the living room, where he settled next to Sephiroth on the loveseat. Angeal and Zack settled on the three-seater sofa, leaving room for Cloud, but the blond went to sit on his own in the armchair, situated directly across from Sephiroth.

His eyes never wandered. He hardly seemed to blink.

This was not the man they all loved.

But Sephiroth seemed completely at home with the behavior. He barely paid Cloud any mind, taking his presence and behavior as a given. He was too busy looking at his old friends.

“You all live together?” Sephiroth started, finally breaking the silence that hung between the lot of them.

“We do,” Genesis admitted.

“Why? Did Zack convince you to let Cloud stay here? He’s the only one who knew him.”

“I lived here by myself first,” Cloud corrected. “My name is the one on the lease.”

Sephiroth’s brow just barely furrowed as he looked back to Cloud.

“Then Zack talked you into allowing Genesis and Angeal to stay here.”

“Genesis lived here long before Zack and Angeal turned up.”

Sephiroth’s gaze flickered between the other three.

“What has happened?”

Cloud trusted Zack, Angeal, and Genesis with his life, his health, his happiness. He trusted them with an infinite number of things. But he trusted no one but himself with Sephiroth, when it came down to it. He took control of the conversation.

“Genesis and I met. We began a relationship. We later found Angeal and Zack, who we had understood to be dead. Shinra kept them in mako for years. Now it’s all of us.”

“How did you and Genesis meet?”

“I brought him home from a nightclub.”

Genesis, Zack, and Angeal all whipped their heads around to look at Cloud. None of them expected for him to admit it, much less so readily. It just didn’t occur to Cloud to lie to Sephiroth. The man had been so deep in his head that lying to him had never been an option before. He just didn’t think to try now.

Sephiroth, for his part, seemed to take this honesty as his due. He didn’t question that Cloud admitted such a thing to him, but he did tilt his head in curiosity.

“You don’t go to nightclubs.”

“I do when you’re not wreaking havoc.”

“To what end?”

“It’s not strange to want someone in your bed, Sephiroth. You know I don’t think of AVALANCHE that way, and that they’re the only ones I’m close to.”

It, similarly, did not seem to occur to Cloud to try and hide just how deeply ingrained Sephiroth had been in his life. That he had been so deep inside his head he knew he wasn’t attracted to AVALANCHE and that this seemed like such obvious knowledge to Cloud that he didn’t bother to hide it. That he had no shame in admitting his small social circle because clearly Sephiroth already knew everything important about him.

When the others looked back to Sephiroth to see if this deep knowledge really was such a given between them, they did not see him look surprised at the information. Instead, they saw him with the kind of cold fury on his face that they had only rarely seen before.

“You don’t take people to your bed.”

_You have not taken me to your bed, and it is unacceptable that others have had you as I have not_.

The implication did not need to be said aloud for it to be deafening. The possessive rage was so clear that Angeal, Zack, and Genesis immediately looked to Cloud, expecting him to snap back with his own anger. As much as he liked possessive play in the bedroom, Cloud had always made it clear that he was an independent person and very much his own man.

But Cloud did not seem remotely fazed by the comment or the implication. Sephiroth’s blatant need to own him was readily accepted as normal, even anticipated. Cloud just blinked back at him placidly.

“I do now.”

It was clear from every line and curve of Sephiroth’s posture that this idea was unacceptable.

“And your first choice was _Genesis_?”

Before Genesis had time to consider being offended at that disbelief, Cloud said, “I lost track of how many people there were before Genesis.”

Sephiroth’s anger clearly spiked before he took a slow, deep breath. And that seemed to be the first confusing thing about this all, to Cloud. He was expecting Sephiroth to try and drag him off somewhere, for him to try and stake his own claim. He was not used to Sephiroth exercising self-control. But that was clearly what he was doing as he wrangled his anger from incandescent fury down to frustration. When he spoke again, he was almost calm.

“I want to be a part of this.”

“ _What?_ ” Zack interrupted, too shocked to keep quiet any longer.

“The only reason I never attempted to enter Angeal and Genesis’s relationship, years ago, was because they clearly were not accepting other partners. That is not the case now. I had considered Zack, but after I refused the Modeoheim mission and forced it on him, I didn’t feel I had the right.”

He said this all while still staring at Cloud, who looked evenly back at him. Sephiroth did not explain his attraction to Cloud, yet, but Cloud didn’t seem to need words to understand that.

“And Cloud?” Genesis asked, because Cloud might not need an explanation, but _he_ did.

“Cloud is the only non-negotiable part of this.”

When the other three gaped at this, Cloud just snorted a humorless laugh and said, “I told you he was obsessed.”

“I’m not obsessed. You simply belong to me.”

“I don’t belong to anyone.”

“I’ve been gone too long, if that’s what you think.”

“Hojo trying to make me your clone doesn’t make me yours.”

“I am written into your bones and blood, Cloud. My mark has been made on you at the basest level of your biology.”

“If that makes me yours, then you’re Jenova’s.”

“She is my mother, of course she has a claim.”

“She’s an alien; your mother is Lucretia.”

“A human woman may have birthed me, but she is not my mother.”

“You need time to think, to come to terms with the new information—you said it yourself.”

“I had time to think on the walk here. I know who my mother is.”

“If you keep on that train of thought, you’re going to get back into your old habits, and I’ll have to put you down like a dog again.”

“You forget your place, puppet.”

“ _Don’t call me that_.”

“Do I need to prove who your master is, once again?”

There was a pause as a smug smirk came over Cloud’s face.

“Try it. I dare you.”

In the face of such insolence, Sephiroth saw only one course of action. He reached for the strings that bound them, the cells they shared, and attempted to make Cloud fall off the chair and onto his knees.

It didn’t work.

When a look of confused horror slowly dawned over Sephiroth’s face, Cloud’s grew unbearably smug.

“I told you, the water stabilized your J-cells. You’re not my master anymore.”

He didn’t deny that he might have been, once.

Sephiroth’s cold anger rose again as he hissed, “I will be a part of this. You won’t escape me.”

“This is a relationship built on love and trust, Sephiroth, not possessive instinct. You might be able to feel those things for the others, but I don’t think you ever will, for me. You’d have to see me as your equal, first, and you don’t know how to do that.”

“Because you are beneath me.”

“If you keep thinking like that, then there’s no hope of this ever working.”

“Then prove yourself to be my equal.”

“I’ve proved myself to be your _better_ , three separate times. How many times do I have to kill you before you respect me?”

“Flukes. Strange twists of fate, nothing more.”

“It isn’t a fluke if it happens three times, Sephiroth. Get your head out of your ass or give up any hope of being a part of this relationship.”

“I won’t let them have you without me.”

“If you want me, you have to respect me.”

“Of course I respect you—no one who has spilled my blood as many times as you have would not be an enemy worthy of respect. I simply deny that you are my equal.”

“Fine, let me rephrase; if you want me, you have to acknowledge me as an equal. I won’t be in a relationship with someone who thinks I’m beneath them, the way you clearly still do.”

“Your terms are unacceptable.”

“Well that sucks, because we do this on my terms, or not at all. If you want to fall back into our old patterns, that’s fine; I’ll finish the old pattern and kill you again, if that’s what you want.”

“I’ve already said what I want.”

“You want in the relationship. I’m not saying no. I’m not even saying that you have to admit that I’m your equal right now, because I know that you won’t. I’m saying that you have to be willing to work towards that. If you can agree, right now, that you’ll do your damnedest to see me as your equal, and put in the honest work to fulfill that promise, then I’ll let this happen. I’m not expecting you to change overnight. I’m expecting you to admit that you’re in the wrong and need to change in the first place. Can you do that?”

Cloud stared back at Sephiroth. He’d had the walk home to think this over. He had figured out, very early on, how this would go. Sephiroth was never going to be able to let someone else have him, but he might be willing to share with these three men in particular. The second the relationship came to light, he had known that Sephiroth would demand to be a part of it. If the plan was to let Sephiroth live, he would have to find a way to accept him into the relationship, and that did seem to be the plan. It had been less a question of whether or not to allow Sephiroth to be a part of this and more what his terms would be for allowing it.

Genesis, for his part, was equal parts horrified and hopeful. Years ago, when Angeal had been pining for Zack, Genesis had been pining for Sephiroth; he’d just still been trying to work out how to bring it up, when everything fell apart around them. The idea that they might get to have this _now_ , as a part of their already stable and wonderful relationship, appealed to him immensely. But seeing how Sephiroth treated Cloud sickened him. He loved Cloud deeply, and did not like seeing him spoken to this way, or the way Cloud seemed to accept and expect this treatment. It made him doubt that the man he had loved so many years ago was still there, because that man would not have spoken to Cloud like this.

Angeal was having much the same dilemma. He’d been more obvious about his crush on Zack back at Shinra, but he’d had feelings for Sephiroth, as well. It was just that he’d seen Genesis’s own feelings for the man, and was waiting for him to find the words to bring it up first. They had simply never had the time to discuss it. He _wanted_ Sephiroth with them, but like Genesis, he wasn’t sure that the man before them was the man he had wanted so badly.

Zack was arguably the most conflicted out of them all. Because, like Sephiroth, entering into a relationship before Modeoheim had been on his mind. But after Modeoheim, there had been so much loss, it had felt out of the question. He had told himself he was going to get his head back on his shoulders squarely before he brought it up. But then, before he could do that, Nibelheim happened, and that interest was crushed. It didn’t shock him quite as much as it did Angeal and Genesis, that Sephiroth would act this way. He knew him to be twisted, now. But his obsession with Cloud was something that had formed _after_ the reactor, and only truly been enacted after Zack was out of the picture. It was less shocking and more deeply disturbing to him.

Sephiroth, of course, found his own actions quite natural. For all that he no longer felt Jenova’s influence, the thought that he had been entirely in the wrong with his previous actions was too much to contemplate at the moment. If he couldn’t have been wholly wrong, then Jenova remained his mother, regardless of any other human involvement. Cloud remained his puppet, and it was unacceptable, that other people had staked a claim on him that Sephiroth had yet to. It was even more unacceptable that other people had such a thorough claim that it rivaled Sephiroth’s own, but this part he could work with. He could share with Genesis, Angeal, and Zack of all people. He wanted them as much as he wanted Cloud, albeit in a very different way, in a way that made him feel much more like a man he hadn’t been in a very long time.

But accepting that Cloud might be his equal challenged his acceptance of the idea that he had done nothing wrong. He was going to have to take more time than a short walk from the church to the townhouse to work through his thoughts on the matter. But he didn’t have that time right now. Cloud had laid out his terms, and while Sephiroth was not afraid of coming to blows again, confident that he would win this time, if he wanted the relationship, he would have to bend.

But those in positions of power occasionally bent to the the wills of their lessers. Sovereigns deigned to agree to the whims of their people, if it suited them. If it kept them in power, if it bolstered their power, if it was a negligible whim in the first place. And Cloud was not asking to be his equal, only that Sephiroth would consider it. He could consider it. And when he found that he had been in the right from the start, he could use the new relationship to cement his hold over Cloud. It would work.

Slowly, Sephiroth nodded.

Angeal and Genesis breathed a sigh of relief. Zack was too conflicted for such a gesture.

Cloud stared back at him knowingly, as if he was perfectly aware of what Sephiroth was thinking. But surely he wasn’t that transparent. Sephiroth wasn’t concerned that Cloud might know he was toeing the line of dishonesty.

(Of course Cloud knew; he knew Sephiroth as well as Sephiroth knew him, and had none of the blinding pride skewing his perspective. But it was a foot in the door. He could work with it.)

So Cloud climbed to his feet, still watching Sephiroth carefully. He began walking around the coffee table, and then to the doorway. When Sephiroth watched in confusion, Cloud arched his eyebrow.

“Well? I thought it was unacceptable that others have had me in a way you haven’t.”

Cloud began walking again, but between one moment and the next, Sephiroth was at his heels. His hands slid onto Cloud’s hips, his body a breath away from Cloud’s own.

“Cloud, I don’t think he’s going to learn from this, the way we have,” Zack called, clearly unhappy. He knew Cloud’s penchant for using sex as a way to express himself to another. But Sephiroth was already so certain he knew everything there was to know about Cloud. He wasn’t sure it would work.

“Trust me,” Cloud called, beginning his way up the stairs now, and curling out of their sight. “I know him better than you do, these days.”

Zack scowled and folded his arms over his chest, but knew that to be true. He, Genesis, and Angeal watched Cloud and Sephiroth disappear up the stairs, listening to their near-silent footsteps, Zack with no small amount of dread, and Angeal and Genesis with fragile threads of hope in their hearts.

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Angeal asked.

“No,” Zack said with absolute certainty.

“I trust Cloud,” Genesis said slowly. “He knows what he’s getting into, better than the rest of us do. If he thinks he can handle Sephiroth this way, then I’m sure he can.”

“If he thought Sephiroth being in the relationship was the right thing to do, or that we wanted it, he would try to find a way to make it happen, even if he didn’t want it himself,” Zack said, frowning deeply.

“You’re not wrong, but were you looking at him?” Genesis said, still watching the now-empty staircase. “Whatever he had with Sephiroth, it consumed them both. I don’t think he knows how to leave Sephiroth alone any more than Sephiroth knows how to leave _him_ alone. Cloud will say it’s about public safety, or about what we want, but he’s as obsessive as Sephiroth is. I think, if he can find a safe way to be with Sephiroth, on his own terms, it would go a long way in healing old wounds.”

“I don’t like it,” Zack grumbled. “Sephiroth’s done too much damage. No one deserves this many chances.”

“At the end of the day, that’s Cloud’s decision, not ours. He’s the party that was wronged,” Angeal said, reaching out to take Zack’s hand, who didn’t pull it away this time, though he did huff.

“I still don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it. You just have to trust Cloud,” Genesis said.

They all glanced back toward the staircase.

None of them was quite willing to admit that, as much as they did trust Cloud, it was a tall order, this time.


	18. Chapter 18

Cloud didn’t look back at Sephiroth as they climbed the stairs. He could feel his hands on his hips, his breath on the back of his neck, his body heat running the length of him. He had no need to look to see that Sephiroth was following. Instead, his mind raced in the short walk up the stairs.

He’d been calm up until this point because he hadn’t been entirely sure Sephiroth would go for it, but now he was going to have to follow through on his plans. All his concerns about whether or not this was a good idea arose again. Well, it wasn’t so much if it was a _good_ idea—it was. It was what needed to be done, if Sephiroth was to live, he was sure of it. He knew Sephiroth, arguably better than he knew himself, and he was sure this was the correct way to handle him.

The question was, would it be a good idea for _him_? Was it in _his_ best interests? Cloud had gotten very good at bringing people to his bed. He knew how to handle strangers and lovers alike, now. But Sephiroth was neither, not yet. Who knew what sort of line he might spout off in the middle, what sort of gesture or word he might fling at Cloud? He knew damn well that plenty of his trauma came from Sephiroth himself. All of the fine lines Genesis had had to learn for their scenes, all the points where he would safeword were from scars left behind by this man.

The fact of the matter was that Sephiroth needed to be tamed. It was possible, now, with his J-cells stable. It could be done. But their shared history meant that Cloud _had_ to be the one to do it, even though he was the poorest suited to the task. Taming any wild animal came with the possibility of being mauled, but in this instance, Cloud was coming to the taming already limping from a previous mauling. He had too many old wounds to do this safely, and this particular beast was already thirsty for his blood.

Cloud knew that there was a high chance Sephiroth would deliberately try to hurt him. That this was an exercise of Sephiroth putting Cloud back in his place, of renewing an old claim, and Cloud knew that there would be no tool off limits to achieve that end. Anything Sephiroth knew would hurt Cloud was the first thing he’d reach for.

He knew full well that his partners had no idea of this fact. Zack was the closest to having a clue, but even he didn’t understand their dynamic and how twisted it was. He was certain that they would have refused to allow this if they had known; it was why Cloud had tried so hard to avoid the specifics. This had to work. For the Planet’s sake. For Zack, Angeal, and Genesis’s sake. For his own, in some ways.

If it took having his throat torn out to tame Sephiroth, that was an acceptable cost. He would heal.

He opened the door to the bedroom and allowed Sephiroth to push him inside, tossing the door shut behind him. He wasn’t surprised when he was crowded back against the shut door. He wasn’t even surprised when Sephiroth grabbed his wrists and attempted to pin him to it. But he did spin his wrists out of his grip, despite allowing Sephiroth to press him against the door. Sephiroth used one hand to drag down the high collar of Cloud’s shirt so he could ghost his lips across his neck; Cloud bared his throat to allow it. When he tried again to grab his wrists, Cloud twisted his hands away again. He felt teeth scrape his throat.

“Cloud, behave,” Sephiroth purred in warning.

“No.”

“Be a good boy for me.”

“Good boy” was a phrase Cloud had forbidden the use of in the bedroom ages ago—because of this man. He knew he couldn’t safeword his way out of it this time; if Sephiroth understood the concept, he still wouldn’t have cared to respect it. He chose those words specifically because they were barbed.

Cloud had known this was coming. He hadn’t thought it’d happen quite so soon. The short walk up the stairs hadn’t been quite long enough to prepare for it.

He sucked in a sharp, wounded breath and felt Sephiroth’s smile curl against the skin of his throat.

“No,” he said, though his voice was quieter than he meant. “I’ll be good for Genesis, and Zack, and Angeal, but never you.”

Sephiroth attempted to grab his wrists again, but Cloud still twisted away. He instead grabbed his throat in warning—a much more difficult hold to break out of.

“They aren’t who you belong to.”

“I don’t belong to anyone. I do what they ask because they know that.”

Sephiroth hummed and bit lightly at the juncture of his jaw and his throat.

“They don’t know you how I do.”

“They do. If anything, they know me better.”

Sephiroth chuckled, his breath brushing sensitive skin.

“That isn’t possible.”

“It is. You’ve been gone for years, Sephiroth. You think I haven’t changed in that time?”

“Clearly you have; you knew your place, when I left.”

“When I _killed you_.”

“When you killed me,” Sephiroth admitted easily, his voice husky—it had always drawn Sephiroth to Cloud, that Cloud was able to kill him.

“The whole point of this is you admitting I’m your equal.”

“Even you admitted that wouldn’t happen today.”

“Maybe not, but we’re starting to work towards it right now.”

“No, puppet. We establish the proper order of things, first. We’ll consider changes later.”

Sephiroth could feel the way Cloud shuddered at the title.

“No. Changes start now, or I know you won’t let them happen at all.”

Before Sephiroth could register what he had said, Cloud had moved. He ripped Sephiroth’s hand away from his neck and used his surprise as leverage, spinning them around. He got Sephiroth pressed back against the door, but with their height difference, he wasn’t able to effectively cage him against it, as Sephiroth had done to him. Still, the shock that Cloud would _dare_ allowed him to get both of Sephiroth’s wrists pinned to the door. 

He knew it wouldn’t last. In brute strength, Sephiroth would always win. Sephiroth was stronger, he always had been, but Cloud was faster, and knew by now how to make that work for him.

In the surprise of the moment, Cloud leaned up and hissed, “If you want it, you have to earn it.”

Sephiroth’s eyes flashed, but the second he moved to break the hold, Cloud let it go, knowing his strength would fail. Sephiroth jerked, having used far too much force for when the hold was removed, but he turned that easily into a swing at Cloud. The problem was that Cloud was already moving to duck and slamming his fist into Sephiroth’s side.

He knew it wouldn’t be enough for any real damage; for all of Tifa’s training, Cloud had never quite gotten the hang of hand-to-hand. Cloud was perfectly aware that Sephiroth had been raised to be SOLDIER’s general, and that he would have infinitely more skill in unarmed combat. But that didn’t stop him from trying.

They fought tooth and nail. One or another of them was shoved against a wall, a door, the dresser—it didn’t matter, because they always broke free. Items were knocked out of place and onto the floor, up to and including shattering both nightstand lamps.

(On the floor below them, Genesis said, “We just have to trust Cloud,” for every thump and crash they heard.)

Before long they were grappling on the floor, putting each other in holds that never lasted, taking any moment the other was prone to swing at their opponent. Cloud knew he had a black eye and split lip. That was okay, because Sephiroth’s cheekbone was swollen and he’d already had to snap his nose back into place once; his mouth and chin were painted red from the nosebleed. Cloud knew that both their chests would be mottled with bruises by the end of it.

It ended when Cloud got in a lucky hold; he had Sephiroth pinned with his forearm against Sephiroth’s throat. He had every ounce of his strength and every bit of his bodyweight involved in crushing Sephiroth’s windpipe, knowing that he’d survive but that he couldn’t move like this.

“If you want this, get up on the bed. You lie still, you _don’t move_ , and I’ll make this better than anything you’ve ever felt. You break the rules, the fight starts again, and the others will interrupt this time.”

“Why do I care if they interrupt?” Sephiroth wheezed. Cloud let up on the pressure just enough that he could breathe, now that he seemed more interested in the conversation than resuming the fight.

“Because they care about you, and they want you, but they love me, and I got here first. You have to prove to _them_ that they can trust you with me. They know what you’ve done. They may love you, and want to forgive you, but they don’t trust you yet, least of all with my health and wellbeing.”

“They’re forgiving people; they’ll look past whatever happens here.”

“You’re already on thin ice, especially with Zack. They won’t be happy, but they’ll let me kill you, if you give them due cause.”

“Fucking you into submission is hardly due cause.”

“It is with our history. They want a healthy relationship, Sephiroth, and the way we are with each other doesn’t fit that. They need to know that we can do this in a way that’s acceptable to them before they grant their blessing.”

“They could get accustomed to how we are.”

“They won’t. They’ll see the way you tear me to shreds and they’ll get protective. I can survive you, but they won’t like watching the way I limp along in the aftermath.”

“They enjoy helping people. They would enjoy helping you.”

“But it would break their hearts to see me as broken down as you make me, and it’d crumble the broken pieces to know that _you_ did that to me. I’ve been honest with them, Sephiroth, they know you’ve ruined me, but they’ve never had to watch it happen before. They won’t watch it happen when they can try and stop it.”

Sephiroth fell quiet; he knew this to be true.

“What then, Cloud? Why did you offer to bring me to bed if you knew this?”

“Because, if you listen to me, we can do this right. We can show them there’s hope, that this relationship might work.”

“How?”

“They need to see that we can be together. They need proof that I can be vulnerable with you and that you won’t chew me up and spit me out at the first opportunity. We have to show them that you can be trusted with me, or they won’t allow this to go any further. But the way we always are won’t do that. If I submit to you and let you do whatever you want, I’ll come out of this room trembling and haunted, and they’ll cut this off before we can even try and argue.”

“Then what do you suggest?”

“You listen to me this time—you let me lead. If I’m in control, I can take care of myself. I can make sure I walk out of this in one piece, but _you have to listen to me_. I’ll make it good for you, and it’ll be worth your while in the end when they don’t call the whole thing off the second they get a good look at me. So. I’m going to let you up, and you’re going to undress and lie back on the bed. If you don’t, I’m walking out of here right now, because anything else we do will be a waste of our time.”

Slowly, Cloud eased up on the pressure, until he pulled his forearm entirely away from Sephiroth’s throat. He climbed off him and stood to one side, watching as Sephiroth rubbed at his throat and then sat up. He gave Cloud one even look before getting to his feet.

He didn’t lunge at Cloud, or try to swipe at his ankles, or even walk out the door. He slowly undressed, and Cloud marveled at the sight. Not least of all, because Sephiroth’s body was magnificent, and he’d always been painfully attracted to this man. But the heart of the matter was that the Sephiroth he had known would never have listened. No amount of logic or reason or even bribery would have gotten that man to take marching orders from Cloud. But here Sephiroth was, doing what he was told and undressing. When the task was done, he got onto the bed and lay back against the bed, exactly as instructed, if still propped up on his elbows to watch Cloud.

Cloud took a deep breath.

It was okay. He could do this. This was still Sephiroth, and trusting him felt like sticking his hand in a lion’s mouth, but he could do this. He wasn’t trusting Sephiroth to strip his control—that would have been more than he could have handled. He was trusting Sephiroth to listen to him, despite the fact that such a thing was unheard of and not at all how they functioned together, but Sephiroth seemed to understand that it was in both their best interests. He _could_ trust Sephiroth to be logical, when his ego wasn’t getting in the way.

Cloud undressed in militaristic quickness. It was old habit, and how he undressed when he was alone. It wasn’t the show he put on when he brought strangers home from the club, or if he was teasing his partners. That kind of performance would have put him in the wrong headspace. He needed to be in control right now, and that wasn’t something he had very much practice doing in the bedroom. It certainly wasn’t something he had practice doing with Sephiroth of all people.

But it was what had to be done, if he wanted this to work. And he was very good at doing what had to be done, despite his own preferences.

Cloud grabbed the lube from his nightstand and went to straddle Sephiroth. He slicked he slicked his fingers as he said, “You can touch me. I’ll tell you to stop if I need you to—just listen to me, if it comes to that.”

Sephiroth thought this was superfluous; he’d already agreed to listen. But he wasn’t surprised that Cloud found that hard to believe, so he let the matter go without comment.

Cloud reached behind himself, leaning forward on his knees in the process, with one hand planted on Sephiroth’s chest for support. He slipped one finger inside and let his eyes flutter shut, his brow furrowing in concentration.

Gaia, it was weird, doing this with Sephiroth. He felt hyperaware, the way he only ever did when he was fighting this man. The air seemed to buzz around them, their breathing seemed so _loud_ and it felt like Cloud could feel every pore on the skin of Sephiroth’s chest beneath his palm. It made the feeling of his finger inside himself that much more intense.

It made the feeling of Sephiroth slowly running his hands up his thighs _incredibly_ intense. He shivered as those hands, that had only ever hurt him, slid up and over his ass, pulling it apart to allow Cloud more room. His brow furrowed more, his nails digging just barely into Sephiroth’s chest as he thrust his hand in and out slowly.

He was much tenser than he ever was. Usually, when he did this, it was with complete confidence that his partner couldn’t hurt him. The civilians could do their worst and Cloud would need almost no effort to stop them. Even when he’d brought Genesis home for the first time, he’d known that there was no real danger. Even when there was pain that he’d asked for involved, he’d always known that he could end things whenever he wanted. That pain had helped him relax. This was infinitely different.

Cloud was naked above Sephiroth, fingering himself open, and all he could think about was the fact that the point of this was _taming_ Sephiroth, because he was wild and brutal and had to be brought to heel if they were ever to move past this. But if Sephiroth needed to be tamed, it meant that he was little better than feral. He was _dangerous_. This was the one man that was an honest to gods threat to Cloud. The second Sephiroth changed his mind and decided he didn’t want to listen to Cloud any more, everything would dissolve. Would it be physical pain? Emotional? Psychological? The constant lingering fear meant tension that meant Cloud was having much more difficulty than usual with opening himself up.

But Sephiroth didn’t ask to take over the task. He didn’t seem to get impatient. He let go of Cloud’s ass and continued running his hands over his skin. His thumbs brushed Cloud’s nipples but didn’t linger. His fingers traced old scars that _he_ had given Cloud almost tenderly. His touch was so gentle that Cloud was cracking his eyes open to look down at him in confusion. Sephiroth arched an eyebrow up at him.

“You gave me permission to touch,” he reminded Cloud.

“I did, I just—you’re… being gentle.”

Sephiroth pressed his palm to a set of overlapping scars in the shape of Masamune’s blade next to Cloud’s heart.

“You said it yourself. Now isn’t the time for me to take you apart.”

“That time will never come again, Sephiroth.”

“Then there’s no time like the present for me to get accustomed to something a little different.”

Cloud immediately relaxed against him. There wasn’t as much to fear, if Sephiroth was willing to try and play by the new rules. He wasn’t certain he’d ever be able to completely relax with the one man who likely could and would certainly like to kill him, but this was enough to diminish his tension. He worked another finger inside himself.

Cloud found himself quickly starting to pant as he watched Sephiroth watch the path of his fingers. Sephiroth was taking in his body in a way he never had before, almost reverently touching every detail.

“I’ve always admired your strength,” Sephiroth murmured. “That I couldn’t break you, with my blade or with my words. The marks left behind in the wake of those attempts are a testament to that strength.”

“Don’t get poetic about my scars.”

Sephiroth glanced up at him before looking back at his body.

“Someone ought to. You don’t seem to appreciate them.”

“I don’t.”

“You should. They’re beautiful.”

“You just like seeing your mark on my skin.”

Sephiroth smiled lightly and said, “I do.”

“Everything has to be about a claim with you.”

“You misunderstand. I enjoy seeing proof that you can survive _me_.”

“Careful, Sephiroth, that almost sounds like respect.”

“I’ve already said I respect you. Equality is where I draw the line.”

“Of course,” Cloud said, rolling his eyes.

He pressed another finger inside himself, and when he accidentally brushed the most sensitive spot inside him, his hips accidentally jerked forward as he gasped.

Sephiroth’s eyes fell to half-mast as he trailed his fingers down Cloud’s torso. He curled them through the thatch of hair above Cloud’s cock, scraping it with blunt fingernails. Cloud hissed in pleasure, digging his own nails into Sephiroth’s chest. Sephiroth dragged his fingertips from root to tip, tracing veins and brushing through the slit. Cloud let his head drop with a curse.

Sephiroth grabbed the lube to slick his hand before circling Cloud’s cock and tugging. Cloud gasped, his hips twitching forward in silent demand that Sephiroth was happy to fulfill. He began slowly stroking Cloud, who lifted his head just to let it fall back against his shoulders.

Cloud was still working himself open—Sephiroth was at least proportionate for his height, and Cloud was a small man besides—but he was getting impatient. Sephiroth’s hand on him felt better than it had any right to, and he kept brushing that spot inside him even though he was trying to avoid it to make things last longer. He was certain he had to be able to take three fingers to the knuckle if he wanted to take Sephiroth, but that was taking much too long.

“If you don’t cut that out, you’re going to make me come before we even start.”

“You’re built like a SOLDIER; you can come far more than one time.”

Cloud was trying very hard to still his hips and not fuck into Sephiroth’s hand, but it was a losing battle. Every roll of his hips pushed him first forward into Sephiroth’s hand and then back onto his own, and it had him quickly approaching the brink.

“I don’t— _nnn_ —I don’t need it, that isn’t what this is about.”

“You clearly do need it—look at you, you’re desperate.”

“I _don’t_.”

“Then tell me to stop. As you said, this is on your terms, Cloud.”

Cloud cursed, because he was right. He could put an end to this at any moment. Sephiroth was being far more cooperative than he anticipated; it really seemed like he would listen.

But he’d allowed it this long, and he was so _close_ now, he was aching and throbbing in Sephiroth’s hand.

He looked down at Sephiroth with a furrowed brow to see Sephiroth watching him with half-lidded eyes.

Sephiroth purred up at him, “Why don’t you let _me_ be good for you, this time?”

Cloud was not one for wanting control over anyone else. Being in charge of himself was already more responsibility than he wanted, at times. He didn’t need more pressure on top of it. But Sephiroth had, in many ways, been his responsibility for years. He was the only one capable of killing him; it was on him to end things, when Sephiroth got out of control, which was always. For all that Sephiroth was the one that stripped Cloud’s control time and again, it was _Cloud’s_ duty to rein Sephiroth in. He was never the one in _control_ , but always the one with the responsibility.

Anyone else, and Cloud would have felt his skin crawl with trying to take control. But Sephiroth was already his duty. Finally being able to take charge, to take control over the person he had to answer for felt _right_. If Sephiroth was his responsibility—if, at the end of the day, it was Cloud who had to feel the guilt for whatever Sephiroth managed to do before he could stop him, then it only made sense that Cloud should be allowed control. For too long, Cloud had been left with the burden of Sephiroth’s actions without having any say in what he did. Even if it was only in this small way, even if it was only in the bedroom, being able to finally dictate what happened meant so much to him. It meant _freedom_ , in a way he hadn’t felt before.

The sense of shackles falling away had Cloud spilling across Sephiroth’s chest as the man’s hand worked him through his orgasm.

When he continued stroking him after his orgasm was long over, and it became far too much, Cloud demanded, “Stop.”

Sephiroth obeyed immediately.

Cloud was spent for the moment, but he shivered in pleasure regardless.

Sephiroth smirked up at him. He wasn’t completely powerless in this moment. He was able to affect Cloud _like this_ , his simple obedience getting as palpable a result as anything he’d ever done. He was doing as Cloud said, but his effect over him was still so strong. He was content following his orders for the time being _because_ every action, or lack thereof, got such a visceral response from Cloud.

No one else was able to affect Cloud this way, and they both knew it. For all his love for Genesis, Angeal, and Zack, they just weren’t the larger-than-life figure that Sephiroth was to him. He couldn’t say, with any measure of honesty, that he loved Sephiroth, the way he loved the others. But with the history between them, with all that they had done to each other, no one else simply _meant_ what Sephiroth meant to him.

Sensitive though Cloud may be, he couldn’t wait another moment. He pulled his fingers free and snatched the lube to slick Sephiroth’s cock before grabbing him by the base and sinking down onto it. He absently wiped his hand clean on the sheets before he planted both hands on Sephiroth’s chest. Sephiroth’s hands rose immediately to lightly circle his wrists, encouraging him to stay like that.

Cloud shivered for every inch he slid down. His breath went ragged and his nails dug into Sephiroth’s chest. His head hung, his brow pinched and eyes screwed shut as he felt himself split open, stretching around the intrusion. There was the slightest burn, and that only made everything feel better.

That battle-awareness still hummed around them, making Cloud more aware of the feeling than he should have been. When he finally bottomed out, he took a moment to just breathe, desperately aware of every single inch buried inside him. He cursed and tossed his head back—he felt so _full_.

It took a long moment, but he finally realized that he _wasn’t_ going to get used to the feeling. That, when he was hyperaware this way, there was no chance of it ever not feeling overwhelming. He didn’t think he could have _Sephiroth_ inside him without it feeling like too much, in any circumstance. But when he was _beneath him_ , when he was _on his back for him_ , doing everything he said and, in his own words, trying to be good for Cloud? Every single nerve in Cloud’s body was blazing.

He rolled his hips experimentally and whimpered at the feeling of Sephiroth’s cock moving inside him. It was far too good, when he was feeling too much like this. He tried to rise up, hoping it’d be less overwhelming, but when he sank back down again, he couldn’t stop the way he whined low in his throat. He kept squirming on Sephiroth’s cock, trying to find some way to do this that would feel _normal_.

After some experimentation, he found that there _was_ no such way. That this was just going to feel overstimulating in every way, with his awareness ratcheted up so high like this.

He was only dimly aware of the way Sephiroth was now holding his wrists with an iron grip and very clearly fighting to keep in control of himself.

“Cloud, I would like to request you to _move_.”

“I’m _trying_ , it’s just—I keep waiting for you to try and kill me, I can’t stop waiting for any sign you’re about to, I can’t turn off how aware of you I am, and when you’re _inside me_ …”

“If you don’t move, I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to convince myself to stay still.”

Cloud pulled in a deep breath and then blew it out sharply. Sephiroth was doing his best, but they were starting to hit the limit of his self-control. Cloud nodded, more to himself than to Sephiroth. He resolved to just work through the overstimulation.

He began riding Sephiroth, but the pleasure was _blinding_. The risk of having someone so deadly who was so bent on killing him beneath him like this was an impossible thrill. Cloud was hard again far before he would have been normally. He was never a quiet lover, but he was being downright _loud_. Between the moans and the whimpers and the shouts, Cloud wouldn’t stop babbling, and he was rarely this talkative in the heat of things.

“ _Gaia_! Fuck, _fuck_ —Sephiroth, _ah_! Oh _gods_.”

(Downstairs, Genesis couldn’t help but remark with amusement, “See? We had nothing to worry about.”)

Cloud wasn’t even aiming for his prostate, but he still hit it from time to time, and it wrenched a sob of pleasure from him every time. After a while, Cloud had to drop down onto his elbows on Sephiroth’s chest, his arms too weak to support himself. He kept grinding himself back, but the new angle had his leaking cock rubbing against the hard plane of Sephiroth’s stomach, trapped between their hips. He ducked his head and cursed again as Sephiroth’s hands grabbed his hips, encouraging the rolling motion.

It all felt like far too much. It felt far too _good_. Cloud didn’t stroke himself through the entire process, or allow Sephiroth to do so, but he still lost track of how many times he came. There was an absolute mess trapped between their chests. Fat tears dripped down his cheeks from the sheer overwhelming pleasure of it all. He had no idea how long they had been at it before he was making delirious demands.

“Come, godsdamn you, finish, fill me up, come _on_.”

Sephiroth’s voice trembled with his own bitten back moan as he said, “I can’t— _haaa—_ come on command, Cloud.”

Cloud whined and dropped his head, saying, “Godsdammit, Sephiroth, I—I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“I’m almost there, but I just—I can’t force it.”

“What will it take?”

“ _Hnn_ , _gods_ , you can finish me some other way if you have to.”

“Fucking— _no_. What will it take to get you off?”

Cloud looked up to see Sephiroth let his head drop back against the pillows with a sharp curse.

“It’s counteractive to the whole purpose of this.”

“I don’t care. Tell me what it is.”

“I— _gods_ , I want you to beg me. I want you to stop telling me what to do and _ask nicely_.”

Sephiroth was right—that _was_ counterintuitive. The whole point of this was to move away from their old patterns. The point was for Cloud to tell Sephiroth what to do and for him to listen. The point was for Cloud to be the one in control.

But Cloud was desperate. He wanted Sephiroth to finish inside him—it felt like that mattered, somehow. The problem was that Cloud had come so many times now, and he had been overstimulated when they _began_. The pleasure was so sharp by this point that it burned like pain and Cloud needed it to be over, but he was unwilling to end this before he had achieved his goal.

In his sheer need, Cloud was willing to accept some loopholes. The point was for Cloud to be in control, yes, but he still was. Sephiroth had asked _him_ for this. It was still up to Cloud whether or not he wanted to give it to him. Cloud was still the one who would get to decide if he wanted to concede to what Sephiroth wanted and beg him.

It was close enough for Cloud.

Cloud sat up, forcing himself the last inch onto Sephiroth’s cock, and finally began stroking himself, determined to have his last orgasm and then _finally_ be done.

“ _Please_ ,” he begged in a voice that shook with pleasure, tightening around Sephiroth. “Please come inside me, I want you to fill me up, Sephiroth, _please_.”

It worked like a charm. Sephiroth _finally_ gave a loud, clear moan, his hands tightening to a bruising grip on Cloud’s hips. Warmth flooded up into Cloud, whose head fell back at the feeling with a moan. The heat inside him had Cloud spilling again into the mess on Sephiroth’s chest as the man beneath him moaned again, Cloud’s orgasm milking him through his own.

When they finally finished, Cloud lifted himself on shaking knees to slide Sephiroth out of him. He scooted back a few inches to sit across the top of Sephiroth’s thigh and let out a trembling breath.

Sephiroth and Cloud looked at each other through matching half-lidded eyes for a long moment. Sephiroth flicked his gaze down to first Cloud’s chest, then his own.

“You made a mess,” he accused.

“It’s your fault,” Cloud accused right back.

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow and said, “How is it my fault? All I did was lie here.”

“Exactly. You just lied there and you’ve run me through, how many times? _Gaia_ , that was intense.”

Cloud rolled off Sephiroth to lie down at his side and catch his breath. He was still trembling all over from what they had just done. Sephiroth sighed and reached for the tissues on the nightstand, beginning to go about cleaning them up.

“You have to know I have no intention of killing you. I don’t promise not to hurt you, but killing you is counterproductive, at this point.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re the only one who could, that’s enough to underline the whole process with danger. You didn’t feel that, with me on top of you?”

“Of course I did. You don’t think there was a thrill involved in baring my throat to the one person I know can kill me?”

Cloud shook his head, saying, “I still think it’s different. You’re not aware of me how I am of you.”

“Cloud, if you so much as twitch, I notice. I keep track of my things.”

“I’m not one of your things.”

“Perhaps not anymore,” Sephiroth conceded. Cloud’s eyes shot to his, and he glanced up to meet them. Then he looked away to finish cleaning off his own stomach and throw a tissue in the bedside trashcan. “But you were, once. I’m used to keeping an eye on you.”

“It’s not the same. I _had_ to notice everything about you, or I’d lose, and the whole world would end. You’ve always been confident you can kill me—which is why you keep losing, by the way.”

“I’m unconvinced either of those things are true. There’s no benefit to you keeping such a close eye—I don’t have tells, especially not in battle.”

Cloud snorted, but when Sephiroth began wiping away the mess, he allowed it. He was too boneless to protest.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re only human? You have tells, they’re just small.”

“Name one.”

“You know how you always parry my overhead strikes the same way? Masamune overhead, arm extended, blade at an eighty degree angle?”

“Yes.”

“You always do the same riposte, too—let my sword slide down yours, twist it out of the way, short quick thrust forward.”

“And the tell is?”

“You always glance at where you’re going to aim the stab.”

Sephiroth frowned, dropping another tissue into the wastebin before plucking one more.

“I always make a point of maintaining eye contact in our fights.”

“You do. Most of the time. Just not with that riposte.”

Sephiroth hummed in clear irritation.

“I will be more aware of it in the future.”

“It’s subconscious, you’re going to keep doing it.”

“I certainly will, if I do not work on it.”

“You planning on more fights to the death soon, then?”

When Sephiroth glanced up, Cloud was looking down at him seriously. Sephiroth tilted his head.

“Do you imagine I would have allowed what we just did if I was?”

“It pays to be sure with you, and that’s not an answer to the question.”

“No. I’m not. I am willing to do what I must to be a part of this relationship.”

“It’s going to involve a lot of things you won’t like. Especially when it comes to how you treat me.”

“I will make concessions.”

“This will call for a lot of them.”

“You underestimate what those three mean to me. They were my entire world, once. You, of all people, should know how unwilling I am to let people go.”

“I know how much they mean to you. I know how much you would do to keep them. I know how much you would do to keep _me_ , to own me. But I was serious, before, when I said we can’t keep doing things the same way we have been.”

“I understand that; I wouldn’t have tolerated what we just did, if I did not.”

“I don’t think you know the scope of it. This isn’t something you can turn off, Sephiroth. It’s not like one time in the bedroom is going to undo years of how we act with each other. It’s going to take a lot of work, and you have to be willing to sacrifice your pride.”

Sephiroth tossed out the last tissue and looked up at Cloud.

“I won’t pretend that I like the idea. I won’t pretend that I fully believe it will work. But if treating you… differently is the cost, if I must prove to the others that I can be reasonable with you is what it takes to make this work, then I will do what I can.”

Cloud sighed and tilted his head.

“I hope that will be enough.”

It would have to be.


	19. Chapter 19

It had been a little over an hour since the moaning and shouting had stopped. Zack was fidgeting constantly in his nervousness. Angeal was distracting himself by trying to console Zack. Genesis was pacing. Zack was bringing up going to check on them with increasing frequency, and Genesis ran out of the patience needed to tell him no. But he did insist on being the one to go do so.

Genesis was relatively sure that Sephiroth, after the contact with Aerith’s water, was not fully the man Cloud knew anymore. He was certain he was no longer the man Genesis remembered, but he thought there might be enough of that man left. He thought that whoever the man upstairs in his bed was, he must be some combination of the two. He could work with that.

But, regardless of what Zack’s sharp comments implied, he was not ignorant to the fact that _any_ remnant of the man Cloud knew was dangerous for Cloud, specifically, to be alone with. He, like Angeal and Zack, had seen what they were like with each other. He knew there was cause for concern, that Cloud might not be in one piece when he got upstairs.

In spite of it all, he wanted this to work. He loved Sephiroth fiercely, for all that they had never been together before. He thought that Angeal and Zack must feel something of the same, if they were willing to let him run off with Cloud without protest. He wanted the man he loved back, and here was a chance to have him again, in a way he never had before.

He understood that allowing Sephiroth into the relationship was a lot to ask from Cloud. In truth, as much as he wanted it, he never would have asked himself. After all that had happened, it was too big a wish to ask to be granted, but Sephiroth had asked, and Cloud hadn’t said no. Cloud had seemed _interested_. That was when Genesis put the pieces together, thinking of all the small comments about Sephiroth that Cloud had made in the past; the obsession between Sephiroth and Cloud really did run both ways.

Cloud was the party that had been wronged. He was the one who had been hurt, far more than anyone ever should have to bear. In the end, it was his decision; if he wanted Sephiroth this way, and he thought he could handle it, it was his call. Neither Genesis, Angeal, or Zack had any right to tell him what to do in this situation. Far be it from them to tell another man how to best handle his own trauma.

Yes, Genesis wanted Sephiroth, and he felt a little guilty for that. He imagined Angeal and Zack felt much the same. But, in the end, it mattered more that this was what _Cloud_ seemed to want. And, when they were all also attracted to Sephiroth, there was no reason to say no. They were all concerned about how Sephiroth would treat Cloud, and would certainly not stand idly by while Cloud was abused. Cloud wanted this, though, and if there was a healthy way to make it happen, it made no sense not to at least try.

They didn’t try to stop Sephiroth and Cloud from going upstairs together for that reason. They didn’t interrupt when they heard crashes and bangs for the same reason. But an hour of silence was long enough to fray the last ends of their nerves, and it wasn’t out of line to at least _check_.

Genesis eased the door open, and was shocked at what he saw.

It did not surprise him that the floor was covered in ruined objects. It did not surprise him that Cloud had a black eye and split lip, or that Sephiroth’s cheekbone was swollen, the space beneath his nose painted red from when it had apparently bled.

What surprised him was that Cloud was fast asleep, curled into Sephiroth’s side, who held him around the shoulders with one arm tightly. He wanted to saw the hold was protective, but he knew enough to see the possessive nature.

Sephiroth’s eyes flicked up to him. He held Cloud tighter.

“Come downstairs,” Genesis said, his voice low enough that Cloud wouldn’t wake. “Let him sleep.”

Sephiroth glanced down at Cloud with a frown, clearly not wanting to leave him. But he nodded regardless, understanding that there was much to discuss. He adjusted Cloud with careful hands, shifting himself out of the way and lying him against the pillows gently. He brushed the hair out of his face, his frown lessening for a second, before he slid out of bed.

As Genesis watched Sephiroth redress, all he could think was that that had _not_ been the way one treated one’s sworn enemy.

When Sephiroth followed him out of the room, Genesis led him to the bathroom to clean his face before leading him downstairs. Zack jumped to his feet at the sight of him, his eyes raking over him frantically. Sephiroth raised a cool eyebrow as he went to sit in the armchair Cloud had been in before; he had no misunderstandings that, despite their history, he was the odd man out, now.

“What did you do to him?” Zack demanded, only sitting when Angeal grabbed his wrist and tugged him gently downward.

“I was under the impression he relayed the depth of our history to you all.”

“I mean right now, asshole.”

“He has a black eye and split lip, if that’s what you’re asking. Considering he broke my nose and my cheek looks like this, I can’t say I feel particularly bad about it.”

Zack and Angeal clearly did not look happy about that sentiment.

“I’m asking about what happened after,” Zack clarified.

Sephiroth hummed and crossed one knee over the other. He folded his hands around the uplifted knee, and it was a pose they had seen very many times. This was how Sephiroth often looked in meetings, when he was on guard and ready to defend himself, however calmly. None of them could be sure if this was a pose he had taken since he left Shinra (it was not).

“Cloud… expressed to me that you all might need some convincing that I can be trusted with him. He insisted that the best way to do that was for me to lie still, allow him to do what he’d like, and follow his orders.”

“And did you?”

“Yes.”

Zack clearly looked skeptical, but Angeal and Genesis looked relieved.

“He was that loud while _riding_ you?” Genesis asked, fully aware that it was not Cloud’s favorite position.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and tapped his index finger against his knuckles twice.

“As he explained it to me, it is apparently very intense, to have a man beneath you that has routinely tried to kill you and always come close to succeeding.”

Genesis made a mental note that Cloud apparently enjoyed some level of fear in the bedroom, but then put the matter aside; now was not the time.

“Why should we believe you actually let him do that? Where _is_ he, anyway?”

“Asleep. He kept insisting that he would get up in ‘just another minute’ before he drifted off. The amount of orgasms he had would wear out anyone, even a SOLDIER.”

“They were cuddling, when I found them,” Genesis explained, watching Sephiroth closely.

Zack’s head whipped around to look at Sephiroth in surprise, who just shrugged.

“I have never had the opportunity to hold him before. He has never allowed me so close to him outside of combat.”

“And you never just forced him?” Zack snapped.

“ _Zack_ ,” Angeal chastised, but Sephiroth held up a hand to stay him.

“No, I did not. Cloud will admit as much himself—I only ever forced his actions when it was necessary for Meteorfall.”

“But you both said he was _yours_.”

“Because he was. It remains to be seen if he still is.”

Genesis sighed and said, “He belongs to no one, Sephiroth. He’s his own man.”

“He doesn’t want to be,” Sephiroth said with absolute certainty. “He finds the responsibility grating. When allowed to do what he’d like, he takes the world’s problems on himself, overburdens himself with the needs of others. I took that burden from him. He won’t be happy to admit it, but the times when I took his ability to choose from him were the moments he’s felt the most at peace. He has never, and I expect will never again, know elation such as when he gave me the Black Materia.”

Zack’s jaw was dangerously tight. His hands were in fists on his knees.

“Don’t try and make it sound like you were doing him a _favor_. Even if it’s hard, even if he struggles, Cloud has always wanted his freedom.”

“I don’t deny that. I question if that’s what’s best for him.”

“You don’t have his best interest at heart.”

“That is untrue. I simply feel no need to pretend that his less appealing impulses are not valid.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“He longs to give up control. He enjoys certain amounts of pain. He never feels as alive as he does when he’s struggling. He denies these impulses because they are not proper. They are not what he _should_ want, especially as one painted to be a hero. He is always trying to be what everyone else needs him to be. I allow him to be what he wants to be, and I allow him to blame me for forcing him to indulge the impulses he finds so repulsive.”

Angeal, Genesis, and Zack fell silent. Because they had all seen the impulses Sephiroth was talking about; it was the heart of their BDSM practice. They had simply found a safe way to indulge those desires while leaving the true control, the final say in what happened and when they stopped, in Cloud’s hands. They allowed him what he longed for without forcing it on him.

Sephiroth had been doing much the same, in an admittedly extreme and severely twisted way. He had seen what Cloud needed and had given it to him—never mind that Cloud did not ask for or want it in that way. He had seen it as his responsibility to give Cloud what he needed, if he was going to claim ownership over him.

But the only caretaker Sephiroth had ever known was Shinra. Caretakers were not gentle or kind or loving. They owned you completely and, in exchange for that, took care of your needs, regardless of your say in the matter. It had been enforced in a thousand different ways throughout Sephiroth’s life. He needed to eat healthily, so Shinra enforced a strict diet that was closely monitored and forbade anything they deemed unnecessary, even if it wasn’t what Sephiroth wanted. He didn’t want maintenance mako injections for how ill they made him, but they were necessary to keep him fighting at his peak and therefore safe, so they were given regardless of how he felt about the matter.

Cloud needed to have his control stripped, so Sephiroth did that for him, without regard to safety or consent or limits. Cloud needed to struggle to feel alive, so Sephiroth presented the ultimate adversary, and made the fight so personal that Cloud couldn’t turn away even if he wanted to. It did not matter that indulging his desires this way left Cloud feeling helpless, that it made Cloud fear Sephiroth as much as he longed for him. If he was going to take ownership of Cloud, it was his responsibility to see his needs met for Cloud’s own good, regardless of what he had to say about the matter. And it was unacceptable, to have a man who was able to kill him and not stake the necessary claim over him.

The pause stretched. They all understood where Sephiroth was coming from now, and how he had gotten there—they knew his history, and could infer the connection between how Shinra treated him and how he treated Cloud.

Genesis was almost relieved, because if the ultimate impulse behind it all was to care for Cloud with any means necessary, he could work with it. Sephiroth would have to be taught how to nurture that impulse properly, but it could be done. Angeal was more distressed; so much pain had come from what was, ultimately, confusion. Sephiroth had been taught that things worked one way, when they didn’t have to, and Cloud had paid the price for it. Angeal regretted not having made it more clear to Sephiroth that how Shinra treated him was _wrong_ , and not something to be replicated.

Zack was infinitely conflicted. He was the one who was having the hardest time with the whole scenario. He had seen Nibelheim burn, had seen Cloud dangle from Masamune, had watched Sephiroth slip through his fingertips. For all that he cared deeply for the man, for all that he had wanted to talk to Cloud about maybe including him in their relationship, he had accepted the man he loved as lost. He had spent five years, in the labs and on the run, heartbroken about what Sephiroth had done. He had never been able to hate him, but he had known that he couldn’t be trusted. That the man he knew was gone and the one who had taken his place was a threat.

It had only been cemented when what he had done to Cloud over the years had come to light. The man he had loved wouldn’t have done to Cloud what he had. Except, here was Sephiroth now, explaining his thought process, and Zack could follow it. He could see _exactly_ how he had ended up where he did. He was just following the only example he knew. And, for all that Zack would always condemn his actions, could he blame him for the fact that his life offered him no better point of reference? Was it his fault that the only way he had been taught to care for someone who was his responsibility was so twisted?

Could Zack hold Sephiroth at fault for replicating Shinra’s mistakes, when he hadn’t known better?

Zack cursed sharply, breaking the silence, smacking the throw pillow to his side out of the need for _any_ angry gesture. Then he sat further upright and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and pointed at Sephiroth, who raised an eyebrow at him.

“I get it now, okay, but we’re not making the same mistakes twice. I understand how your mind ended up there, I do, but that’s not how you take care of someone. You love them, you offer your help in any way you can, you try and steer them in the direction you think they need to go, but you don’t _force_ them. You always, _always_ give them a choice.”

“If given a choice, Cloud won’t take care of himself properly.”

“Then that’s Cloud’s mistake to make. He gets the final say, _always_ , in his own life. You can disagree with his choices, you can try and get convince him to make a different one, but you can _never_ take away his ability to choose. I don’t care how base the need is. We all know Cloud needs to eat—we all do. If he decides, for whatever reason, to starve himself, we can’t hold him down and force-feed him. All we can do is talk to him and try to get him to see that he needs to eat. Do you get that?”

Sephiroth was scowling now.

“But if it goes on for weeks? Years? Would you allow Cloud to starve himself to death, if the only solution was forcing his hand?”

“Here’s the thing—I know Cloud, and he won’t let it come to that. Sure, he’s stubborn as all hell, but he _listens_. If he’s refusing to take care of himself, and it’s not depression or guilt or something talking, it’s because he just doesn’t know _how_. He didn’t know how to indulge in those impulses before, so you forced him. Gen offered him a safe way to fix those, and he took him up on it. He just needed the tools, and a way he could accept to indulge.”

Sephiroth’s eyes cut to Genesis as he said, “What safe way?”

“It’s called BDSM, dearest. Are you familiar?”

Sephiroth frowned and said, “My only understanding of the term is that people seemed to think my uniform is some sort of BDSM costume.”

Genesis raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side saying, “Well, they aren’t entirely wrong. BDSM is about many things, but among them are domination, submission, and the use of pain. All performed with the consent of both parties, with a system organized ahead of time to pause or end things quickly, should one want to. Cloud is willing to indulge those desires, if he has a way out when he needs it. As long as it happens on his terms, he enjoys giving in to those impulses you mentioned.”

Sephiroth paused to consider. He drummed his fingers on his knee.

“If that’s true, then my more… forceful method is unnecessary.”

“Sephiroth, I wouldn’t get your hopes up about him wanting to try BDSM with you any time soon,” Angeal warned gently. “You’ve spent too much time stripping him of his ability to choose, and that’s at the heart of BDSM. He’s going to have a very hard time believing that if he lets you have control over him, you’ll respect the boundaries he puts up, when you haven’t in the past.”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed.

“I just spent however long listening to whatever he told me. Clearly, I’m now willing to consider what he wants.”

“While he was in control. When he could walk away or at least start hitting you again if you stopped listening. You haven’t shown him you can be in control of him and also respect his limits. Show him outside the bedroom that you can respect his boundaries, and maybe he’ll consider letting you try. But you need to be ready for him to tell you no, and for him to never reconsider.”

Sephiroth scowled harder.

“Clearly, I wasn’t only indulging Cloud’s desires, when I forced his hand. But the _point_ of the exercise was never to cause him lasting damage. That damage was more an unfortunate side-effect I was willing to ignore. And I am… unsure, that it would bring me as much pleasure, now, to cause him true harm.”

“And that’s a good thing,” Genesis interrupted. “That’s progress. But you need to give him time to see that. You’ve left him with very many scars, Sephiroth, whatever your intent may have been. He still hadn’t completely come to terms with them _before_ you reappeared. With you here, he’s going to spend a lot of time lingering in fear—either that you’ll try to destroy everything again, or that you’ll try to destroy _him_ again.”

“I have no intention of either. The three of you being here gives me… something to stay for. You are something to stay on this Planet for.”

“Was Cloud not something to stay for?” Genesis asked.

Sephiroth tilted his head and said, “Cloud was something to take with me. He could have survived Meteor, and he could have survived on the husk of the Planet. I could have forced him to come along. I do not imagine to have such sway over you three.”

“You’re aware that, earlier today, he completely decimated us in a spar involving all three of us against him.”

Sephiroth waved his hand dismissively.

“It isn’t about combat abilities. Cloud is, arguably, the single most dangerous creature on this Planet—but, until this point, I’ve been able to force his hand. It’s possible I might still be able to, with the right poisonous words, instead of relying on our shared cells, but that would involve doing more damage than I intend to. No, I sincerely doubt I would be able to move you three from a position you are intent on holding, no matter what I say.”

“We _are_ willing to listen to you, if you make a compelling point, Sephiroth. I don’t think any of us are interested in dismissing you out of hand.”

“I didn’t say that. What I meant is that Cloud, I can manipulate into agreeing to anything I want him to, if I break him down into small enough pieces. You three are too accustomed to seeing me as an equal, regardless of rank. You have never allowed me such power over you, and I do not anticipate you starting now.”

“Damn right,” Zack said, sitting back and folding his arms. “There’s a long road ahead of you, Sephiroth, in proving that we can trust you again. Genesis and Angeal weren’t really there, but I remember Nibelheim. You’re going to have to prove you’ve got your head square on your shoulders again, and that we can trust you this time.”

Sephiroth nodded readily.

“I expected as much. I do not deny that Jenova is my mother. I do not even admit that my actions were unjustified. But my interest in those pursuits has waned. I expect it will take time, but I’ll show as much to you.”

Angeal sighed but said, “We can work with it.”

Angeal and Genesis looked at Zack, well aware that he was more on edge about this than they were. Zack sighed and ruffled his hair.

“I can’t say any part of this sets me at ease. I still care about you, Seph, but you did a lot of shit. More than half the reason I’m not arguing about this is because Cloud seems to want it. I think, if we can find a way to make this work, all those old wounds you left will hurt Cloud a lot less. I’m not sure I forgive you for what you’ve done yet, but I want to try.”

Sephiroth hummed, but his expression softened.

“You’ve always been too generous with me. Many people would say a chance to try again is more than I deserve.”

Zack laughed hollowly and said, “Don’t try and talk me out of it, because that might just work.”

Sephiroth nodded and said, “Thank you, Zack. I will make the most of the goodwill you are willing to extend to me.”

Zack sighed and said, “Just don’t waste it.”

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow, a smile on his face.

“Have you ever known me to waste an opportunity?”

Genesis snorted and said, “And there’s the sole reason we won the Wutai War.”

Angeal sighed and stood, saying, “I’m going to go check on Cloud.”

Zack, Genesis, and Sephiroth’s chatter faded into the background as he went up the stairs as silently as he could. He eased open to the room that was only nominally Genesis and Cloud’s. He found that Cloud had, at some point, pulled the sheets over himself. He was curled up on his side, burrowed into the dip on the bed that said he was chasing the scraps of heat Sephiroth had left behind. Angeal tip-toed into the room and took the comforter from where it had fallen to the floor and gently draped it over Cloud. The blond grabbed onto it in his sleep, tucking it up under his chin before nuzzling into the pillow and settling again. Angeal brushed the hair from his shut eyes.

Maybe everything _would_ be okay.


	20. Chapter 20

The thing was, Cloud knew perfectly well how to pretend to be asleep. He’d been doing it since he was a kid, trying to get his mother to let him sleep in just a little longer before school. He did it as a cadet, whenever he slept over with Zack and didn’t have drills in the morning, because Zack _never_ had the heart to “wake him.” He did it with Tifa when he was too depressed to get out of bed and didn’t want her to waste everyone’s time trying to get him to. He _tried_ with Genesis, but he was the only one who figured his game out.

He was the only one with both enhanced hearing and the stubbornness required to listen to his heart rate to tell if it was beating too fast for him to actually be asleep. He only resorted to that if he couldn’t figure it out through other tells, small though they were, but he always smacked Cloud in the head with a pillow if he made him resort to it. The few times he’d tried fake-snoring or sleep-talking to cover the sound of his heart, the game had been up immediately; Genesis slept next to him too often not to know he was a silent sleeper. That had gotten him tossed over Genesis’s shoulder and dragged downstairs by force.

Angeal, for all that he also had sensitive ears, did not think to check Cloud’s heartrate. He saw him, curled up and cute, and left him be, the same way he always did. If Genesis hadn’t been distracted, he would have gone to check himself, but he was too busy worrying about Sephiroth to consider whether or not Cloud was really asleep.

Maybe he should have been more worried about Cloud. The longer Cloud sat in the darkness, the more he was starting to get worried about himself.

He didn’t know if this was a good idea. He had been sure it was the only real option, in the moment, but now he was having his doubts. He curled into a tighter ball and pulled the comforter Angeal left all the way over his head with a sigh.

Angeal and Genesis _certainly_ wanted this. He knew, very well now, what they looked like when they were in love, and they’d gotten that exact look whenever they talked about how Sephiroth used to be. He wasn’t sure if they even realized their feelings. Zack _so nearly_ got that look himself. It was always just barely clouded over by sadness. He’d been there for Nibelheim, after all. As much as he may have cared about Sephiroth, Cloud could tell any fond recollections were tinged with what had come after.

They would want this, Cloud knew. Even Zack, once he let his anger go. Cloud hadn’t bothered, because they’d had too much to worry about as it was, but he could talk Zack around. Cloud had long since come to terms with the fact that Shinra was ultimately at fault for Meteorfall and Advent Day. Sephiroth had taken the actions himself, that was true, but Shinra had led him down that path like an attack dog on a leash. Zack would see the sense in it and let the blame fall where it belonged—and _then_ , he would want Sephiroth with them.

The only other option, after all, was to kill him. Sephiroth would not stand idly by and let their relationship happen without being a part of it; Cloud knew him that well at least. But Genesis, Angeal, and Zack would mourn him. _Cloud_ would mourn him, silently, while pretending he wasn’t, the way he always did. He could do it, of course, and would if he had to, but it wasn’t what any of them _wanted_.

If that was all that it was, Cloud would have been okay with it. He was willing to do this, for his partners. He was willing to do this, to spare Sephiroth’s life. But the problem, the huge hang-up he had, was that he was starting to think that _he_ wanted this.

Normally, that would be a good thing. People were supposed to want the relationships they were in. He certainly wanted the relationships he was in now. They made him happy, unbelievably so. He was certain _Sephiroth_ could make him happy. He just wasn’t certain it would be _healthy_.

He had always, always longed for Sephiroth. From when he was a child, idealizing some figure on his television. When he was a trooper, looking up to his general. When they were enemies, and he craved their next meeting like air, for the chance to end things. When he was under his thrall, watching him worshipfully, desperate to do anything he might want.

Sephiroth was the axis around which his life turned, for so many, many years. But he learned how to live without him, now. He told himself that it had been hopeless hero worship, and then the simple call of Reunion. But the hero worship had long since died, and the cells they shared were useless, now. Yet he still felt so drawn to him. He tried to write it off as habit, but was it?

Even if it was, would that just lead him into falling back into their old routine? Could he trust himself to remain true to himself around Sephiroth? Every time he considered it, the terrifying image of what might happen spun out before him. Of him, inert Jenova cells or no, falling under Sephiroth’s sway with nothing but the power of his poisonous words. Of him, slavish and enthralled, desperate and under Sephiroth’s thumb, as his partners watched. As they tried to help, tried to separate him and Sephiroth, but Cloud fought any barrier between them like it was a threat to his life and limb. Or as they joined in with Sephiroth, making Cloud the puppet they shared.

He tried to tell himself that it _wouldn’t_ go that way, that he wouldn’t let it, that AVALANCHE and his partners would step in before it could go that far.

Instead, he tried to imagine a better version. Of Sephiroth slipping seamlessly into their lives. Of them teaching him how to grocery shop and dress in something other than leather. Of Cloud falling asleep with his head in Sephiroth’s lap, while he played with blond hair. Of soft touches, and respected boundaries, and Sephiroth _listening to him,_ for longer than a brief stint in the bedroom. Of the five of them, happy and whole, together.

And the thought made his heart ache so sharply he had to set it aside. It was a distant dream. It would never happen. Cloud had been lucky to get what he had with Genesis, Angeal, and Zack for as long as he did. He had known the other shoe would drop. It always did; it was the Strife family curse.

Cloud knew the far more likely version was the one in which he was reduced to a puppet again. He sighed, pulling the comforter tighter around him. At least he’d always been happy, when Sephiroth made him a puppet. He’d hate it after, and might fight it tooth and nail for as long as he could, but when he was fully and truly under the man’s sway, he’d always been at peace.

Cloud closed his eyes. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, if things ended up there again. He was pretty sure that, with the J-cells taken care of, the Planet was safe from any secondary Meteorfall attempts. As long as the Planet was safe, Sephiroth could do what he wanted with him. Maybe, if he kept him occupied, he wouldn’t even think about more harebrained attempts at world destruction. Sure, he could give himself up for that cause. That’d be worth it.

Whatever Angeal, Zack, and Genesis decided to do about it was up to them, when they got to that point. In the off chance that seeing him as a puppet would distress them, Cloud wasn’t going to try and actively lead Sephiroth down that road. He’d play pretend that things could work out, for as long as he could. He could pretend, for their sake, that they would get the happy ending. He’d even work toward it, try to wrangle Sephiroth as best he could, the way he had when they’d fucked. He knew the others well enough, he could try and guide Sephiroth into something that would make them happy.

And when it all unraveled beneath him anyway, at least he could say he tried.

Cloud settled, at last, and started to drift off again. He was more at peace when he knew what to expect. He could handle seeing a dark cloud on the horizon better than he could brilliant sunshine. He was calmer in a disaster than he was when things were going “right.” So, yes, maybe he was anticipating everything going to hell despite his best attempts. Maybe the possible pleasant option seemed so far from the realm of possibility that it was only a delusion at best. Maybe Tifa would talk herself blue in the face about how this was his depression and pessimism talking, and that he didn’t have to listen.

Cloud didn’t care. At least this way, he was prepared for what would come. At least this way, he was facing a devil he knew.

He fell back asleep, more at peace with the situation than he had been before.

When he woke, it was to the bed dipping under someone’s weight.

With the scent of dumbapples on the air, Cloud knew it was Genesis—he was insistent on using that particular shampoo. He pulled the comforter down from above his head to crack one eye open at his partner.

“I’m shocked. It’s rare for you to nap, and almost never for so long. I was certain you were faking again,” Genesis said, smoothing the hair from Cloud’s eyes.

Cloud sighed and lowered the blanket the rest of the way from his face.

“I was, when Angeal checked in earlier.”

“Ah, I see. Did your brooding lull you back to sleep?”

“I wasn’t _brooding_.”

“You were lying in bed, in the dark, with the blanket over your head. You were brooding so thoroughly, Vincent would have been proud to see it.”

Cloud huffed a laugh and pulled his legs a little closer to his chest to allow Genesis more room.

“Okay, maybe a little.”

“Was it about Sephiroth?”

Cloud sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

“Of course it’s about Sephiroth. Isn’t it always?”

“Gil for your thoughts?”

“… Maybe later.”

“Cloud, you know bottling things up goes poorly.”

“I’m not, I’m just… still sorting them out.”

“Last time you said that, you were just putting off telling me something you know I wouldn’t want to hear.”

Cloud winced. He frowned. He threw an arm over his eyes.

“I’m… not sure this is going to go well. I hope that it might. But I don’t think that it will.”

“There’s risk with any relationship. Given, the stakes are higher here, with the history at hand, but it isn’t hopeless.”

“I know.”

“Are you afraid of what might go wrong?”

“That’s the thing, I’m not. If it all goes to hell, then that’s… fine. At least I tried, y’know? And I don’t think we really have to worry about more apocalypse attempts—he’s not the man he was. The man that summoned Meteor never would have let me put him on his back.”

“Well, I’m glad we don’t have to look out for more of him trying to destroy the world; I trust your judgement on that. But I’m… surprised, to hear that you’re okay with it going wrong. I’m proud that you’re focusing on the attempt.”

Cloud tried to catch himself, to stop himself from flinching again, but it didn’t work. He pursed his lips.

Whatever “it all going to hell” meant to Genesis, it clearly was not what Cloud had been picturing. Perhaps Genesis had thought of an amicable break up, and not Sephiroth keeping Cloud as a mindless, devoted puppet.

He didn’t say anything, but his body language spoke loud enough for him.

“What,” Genesis said, tone flat, clearly a demand and not a question.

“I just… things might go a little more wrong than you’re expecting. It’s still fine if they do. It’s just that—my concern isn’t, uh, losing Sephiroth, or something.”

There was a long pause, and then Genesis sighed in irritation.

“Cloud Strife, how many times do I have to talk to you about this martyr complex?”

If he could sink into the sheets, he would.

“It’s _not_ —“

“It _is_. What were you imagining, hm? That he would wrap you around his finger, and we would, what, stand idly by, minding our own business?”

“… I mean…”

“ _Cloud_. Look at me.”

With infinite reluctance, Cloud lowered his arm, and turned his eyes to Genesis. The redhead had turned, his body angled toward Cloud now, one knee on the bedspread. He reached forward to take Cloud’s hand in his, holding it tightly.

“When Angeal and Zack returned, I told them that I wanted them, but that you were the one I would not leave behind. I meant that. That has not stopped being true, just because we succeeded in all being together. That has not stopped being true _now_ , with Sephiroth here. I will not run off with them and leave you to his devices. I _certainly_ will not join him in any mistreatment of you. Do you trust me with that much?”

“… Sure.”

“ _Cloud_.”

He sighed and looked down at their hands to avoid eye contact.

“I trust that you mean that _now_. I just don’t trust that you always will.”

Genesis sighed in return. He squeezed Cloud’s hand a little tighter.

“I’ll just have to show you, then, that this will not change. I swear to you, Cloud—this will not be a repeat of what he did before. You have us to keep you safe, now. And you’ve said it yourself, he’s not the same man. After talking to him some, I’m not convinced he would even be interested in reducing you to such a state again.”

Cloud sighed, the image of the happy ending he’d thought up drifting before him again. It slipped away just as easily.

“Right. All I’m saying, is that if things _do_ go south, you’re not obligated to fix them.” 

“Pardon me, but like hell am I not.”

Cloud frowned.

“You don’t—you don’t _get_ it. I—“ Cloud swallowed hard and could feel himself pale, averting his gaze entirely. He looked a little ill. “I was _happy_ , as his puppet. Once I was in that mindset, I didn’t _want_ to go back. So, if… if that’s what it takes, to keep him happy and occupied, where he’ll be distracted from the Planet—and you, Angeal, and Zack could be happy on your own, if you didn’t want to stick around and deal with that, so—“

“Cloud, please forgive me for saying so, but this martyr complex of yours is absolute shit. I will not allow you to sacrifice yourself to make everyone else happy. _Even if_ you’d be happy in that state, I can see on your face that it’s not what you want. I won’t let that happen.”

“But it’d be fine if you did.”

“But I won’t.”

“I’m not your _responsibility_ —“

“Well, clearly you have to be someone’s if this is the kind of mess you’d step into willingly, and I volunteer.”

“I could be Sephiroth’s.”

“Last time you were _his_ , he treated you the way Shinra treated him, and that is unacceptable. I’m ending this foolishness right now. The next time either of you suggest that you belong to him, the comment will be greeted with a face full of flame.”

“ _Genesis_ —“

“Enough,” Genesis declared, tossing the comforter off of Cloud and ignoring his groan of complaint. “You might be content to settle for a nightmare, but I am not. Come downstairs, and we’ll make some progress on this problem, instead of you lurking up here like an overlarge bat, hiding away from your issues.”

“You know, just because you didn’t say his name doesn’t mean I don’t know that comment was referencing Vincent.”

“What of it?”

“I’m telling him.”

“I’ll tell him myself, if you’d like.”

“He might shoot you.”

“He’d be less inclined, if you didn’t find it so funny to watch me duck out of the way. Now stop stalling and get up.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.”

“With you, that means you’ll be down in an hour, at best. I’m not leaving unless you come with me.”

Cloud sighed, and for a long moment, just continued to lie there.

Until, “Cloud Strife, if you think I won’t throw you over my shoulder and carry you downstairs…”

Cloud groaned and said, “Alright, fine.”

He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, taking a pause. He looked around the demolished bedroom, trying to find where in the hell his clothing had gone amidst the rubble.

Then something smacked into the back of his head. It turned out to be his underwear. Cloud stood, pushing debris out of the way with his feet so he wouldn’t stand on any shards, and then pulled on the boxer briefs. He continued to look around for his clothes, now tip-toeing across the floor.

Genesis sighed and said, “That’s clearly enough, just come downstairs.”

“Gen, I’m not going down there in my underwear.”

“ _He’s_ the one who undressed you, and it’s not like it’s something the rest of us haven’t seen before.”

Cloud’s face turned pink as he said, “That’s not the point.”

“What is, then?”

Cloud gestured absently at his chest before he reached down for his pants, that he finally managed to find.

“Because my body looks like what would happen if I served as a target for a game of darts where he only threw Masamune, and he… likes looking at it. Said that he likes seeing I can survive him.”

“And you don’t want to be reminded that you had to.”

“Right. I think, for now, it might be better if I think about the past a… little less.”

“Shame,” Genesis hummed, finally tossing Cloud the shirt he’d been holding for a while, just watching him look around and not notice it in his hand. “I always enjoy looking at you shirtless.”

Cloud caught the shirt, but the corner of his mouth tilted up.

“Letch.”

“Oh no, how dare I admit that I’m attracted to my own boyfriend, how deeply scandalous,” he drawled sarcastically, and this time, Cloud gave a small laugh. He yanked the top over his head before picking his way through the room to the door; his socks and shoes were unnecessary.

“Hey, I have to call you on it. If I don’t, you, Zack, and Angeal will spend half an hour waxing poetic about the shape of my ass.”

“Darling, you can call me on it all you like, but that would never prevent us from discussing how beautiful you are.”

“Good gods,” Cloud said, rolling his eyes, but with a small smile on his lips. He shoulder-checked Genesis when he was close enough. “One day, you’ll get your mind out of the gutter.” He opened the bedroom door and led the way out.

“Unlikely, if I keep seeing you naked. But believe me, I can be perfectly poetic about your less sexual features, if you’d like.”

“Gaia, _spare me_.”

Cloud stopped at the top of the top of the stairs, looking down its slope nervously. He could hear the other talking from below.

“Are you ready?” Genesis asked, his voice quieter, tone more serious.

Cloud sucked in a deep breath, and then blew it out slowly.

“No. But I never am, with him. Better to just get it over with.”

Genesis took his hand and said, “I’ll be right here with you.”

Cloud squeezed his hand in silence before starting down the stairs.


	21. Chapter 21

When Cloud came around the corner, the room fell silent. Zack and Angeal had been playing catch up with Sephiroth, giving him a more detailed account of what he had missed, but they both dropped it to glance over at Cloud. They both looked worried as they watched him round the coffee table and drop onto the empty loveseat. Genesis followed behind him and sat at his side, not reaching out to touch as he usually would have with Cloud so visibly tense. He wasn’t sure if the touch would be appreciated with their audience. 

Cloud folded his arms and stared down the length of the coffee table to where Sephiroth sat in the armchair. The room remained silent, Zack and Angeal afraid to pick up their conversation. 

Apropos of nothing, Cloud said, “What the hell are we gonna do about your hair?”

Sephiroth blinked at him. 

“Excuse me?”

“Your hair. For that matter, your eyes. Kind of distinct.”

“Why are you pointing out things we’re all well aware of?”

“‘Cause everyone knows what you look like.”

“Everyone has known what I looked like since I entered the Wutai War at age 12.”

“Sure, but then, you were a war hero. Now you’re Gaia’s Boogeyman. You’re the nightmare parents use to scare their kids into behaving.”

“Strange, I would have thought a few nearly successful attempts at the apocalypse would earn me more respect.”

“They respect you, ‘course they do. They’re terrified of you. You’ve just been gone long enough that people have stopped looking over their shoulders for you.”

“Foolish of them.”

“That’s what I always said. No one wanted to believe me. Fact of the matter is, though, that if you go out, people will recognize you, and they’ll freak.”

“I fail to see why I should care.”

“Because it’s hard to live a normal life when people run screaming from you. I’ll have to talk to Rufus and the WRO before we let you out of the house, just to be safe—if they don’t know what’s happening, and get calls from panicked civilians about seeing Sephiroth, it’ll be a nightmare.”

“So your plan is to place me on house arrest.”

“Unless you want to cut and dye your hair and wear colored contacts whenever you go out?”

Sephiroth scoffed, his look derisive. 

“Come near my head with scissors and see what happens.”

“That’s what I thought. It’s not even like we can even shove it all under a hat—you’d look like a mushroom.”

Zack poorly attempted to hide his laugh in a cough, but it unwound some of the tension in the room. The corner of Cloud’s mouth tilted up. 

“I fail to see why any of this is necessary.”

“What, exactly, is the plan here, Sephiroth? You want to be a part of the relationship, I get that, but what else?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Shinra doesn’t exist anymore, and you’re not summoning Meteor—you don’t know how life works outside of those things. We all have  _ jobs _ . There are bills to pay. We don’t just sit around the house all day, with miracle gil being dropped in our bank accounts. The relationship can’t be your whole life, because it isn’t ours. So what’s the plan?”

Sephiroth blinked. He looked incredibly taken aback. Clearly, this had not occurred to him. He hadn’t thought about such  _ mundane _ things in so long. 

“I…”

Cloud dropped his folded arms and sat further upright. 

“Listen, Sephiroth. We’re not going to let you flounder. We’ll teach you everything Shinra didn’t: how to grocery shop, what civilian clothes look okay paired together, the right way to write a check. Genesis will help you with your resume, since I’m shit at it. I’ll get everything sorted with Rufus and the WRO, see if there isn’t some way to spin things with the press so you can have some normalcy with the public. 

“But  _ you _ have to decide what you want. We’ll help guide you, help you get where you want to go, but you have to pick the destination. Shinra isn’t here to tell you how to live your life, anymore. Time for some independence that doesn’t involve flaming pieces of space rock.”

Sephiroth stared at Cloud, and it was only because he was trained into seeing every ounce of nuance on that face that he recognized the thinly veiled panic. Sephiroth glanced at Genesis, then Angeal for help, only to find them smiling softly at him. 

Because they knew that, while they all had had difficulty with adjusting to civilian life, Sephiroth would have the toughest time of it. He had never, never been allowed to integrate with the populace, never allowed even an idea of what passed as “normal.” First it was the labs, then the war, then his fame and the PR team keeping him apart, before finally Jenova’s intervention. 

And now he was expected to… just, figure it out? He had no idea where to even begin. How did one secure food, water, and shelter, even? He knew gil was required, but how did one go about getting a standard  _ job? _ What in the hell was this “resume” Cloud had mentioned?

But then he remembered Cloud’s words. He didn’t have to figure it all out alone. He… had help. They would guide him through the particulars, if he only picked the path. 

Except, he didn’t even know what his options were. 

“I… do not know where to begin.”

And then, strangely enough, for the first time Sephiroth could ever remember, Cloud’s face truly softened. 

“That’s okay. We’ll help. We can start with the basics, give you some options for some bigger goals, and you can pick what sounds good. You can always change your mind later. The important part is that you  _ let _ us help.”

Because, as much as the ex-SOLDIERs knew him, it was  _ Cloud _ who truly knew how far he would go to avoid accepting help. How much it grated to admit that someone knew better than him, that he was not infallible, that he was not a god. 

Cloud looked at him, his expression serious but open, waiting to see if he would accept the outstretched hand, knowing exactly what such a thing would mean. 

“I would… appreciate your help.”

For once (was this the first time as well?), Cloud favored him with a genuine smile. He almost looked  _ proud _ of him. He leaned back, crossing his ankle over his knee. 

“You sure I can’t cut your hair?” Cloud said, his lips caught in an almost-smirk, now that the serious moment had passed. 

Sephiroth found himself returning the look as he said, “Don’t push your luck.”

“I dunno, after the nightmare call I’m going to have to have with Rufus, I think you might owe me.”

“Cloud Strife, do not give that news over the PHS,” Genesis said, bumping Cloud’s shoulder with his own.

Cloud sighed but said, “You’re right, the Turks will be at our door before I can convince him they’re unnecessary.”

“Tifa’s the one you really have to worry about. You better tell her first.”

“Sure, but you’re coming with me to bar the door.”

“ _ Cloud _ ,” Genesis groaned. 

“Nope, she likes Zack and Angeal well enough, but you’re the only other person she wouldn’t just knock out in that moment. Unless you want to tell her?”

“Please, she’d skin anyone else who tried to, and then skin  _ you _ for not telling her yourself.”

“Right. So you’re on door duty.” Then Cloud turned to Sephiroth, pointing at him seriously as he said, “And  _ you _ are not allowed to even summon Masamune when Tifa comes to interrogate you.”

Sephiroth raised a cool eyebrow. He wasn’t sure why Ms. Lockhart’s opinion seemed to matter so much. He understood Cloud cared about her deeply, but he wasn’t sure how that earned her such an impact on a relationship she was not a part of. 

“If she attacks me first, I will defend myself.”

“Are you saying you can’t defend against her unarmed?”

Sephiroth scowled, saying, “I did  _ not _ say that.”

“Then I don’t see why you need Masamune.”

“I could end her without it.”

“If you did, you’d kind of ruin my chances at pitching to literally anyone that you’re trustworthy. Try dodging and blocking instead. Think of it as a handicap.”

Sephiroth sighed but, seeing the logic, said, “Fine.”

Cloud leaned against Genesis, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in to cuddle closer. Genesis was watching Cloud, but Cloud was watching Sephiroth, and saw the possessive flicker in his eyes. He remembered the thought that had plagued him, of Sephiroth reducing him to a puppet again, and then of Genesis’s insistence that he wouldn’t allow it. He gave more of his weight to Genesis and wondered what it would come to, if Sephiroth and Genesis would fight over him, and who would win. He wondered what state of mind he’d be in if it came to that, and if he’d be present enough to weigh in about his own fate or not. 

Then Sephiroth looked up from how they were sitting, meeting Cloud’s eyes, and saw that he had seen everything. Cloud watched him with calm, quiet acceptance of his possessiveness, his expression simply knowing. He waited to see what Sephiroth would do, knowing that he knew, if he would try to assert that claim or deny the burning need to. 

Instead of doing either, strangely enough, Sephiroth averted his gaze. He watched the ex-general swallow hard, his brow just barely pinching, as if confused and frustrated. Trying to figure something out and not understanding why he didn’t already get it in the first place. 

Cloud tilted his head as he watched, an almost wistful smile forming. 

That was  _ not _ the Sephiroth he knew. But it  _ was  _ a Sephiroth he could work with. 


	22. Chapter 22

“Hey, Teef,” Cloud said hesitantly. He turned around just in time to duck under the glass that flew at his head. 

Cloud glanced at Genesis, who was standing in front of the door. He shrugged. When they both looked up at Tifa, she was throwing her handtowel on the bar and storming around the corner. 

“Over 24 hours, Cloud Strife!” she snapped, and Cloud’s stomach sank. How did she know how long Sephiroth had been back?

“Tifa, lemme explain—“

“It better be damn good!  _ Twenty-four hours _ , you’ve let him walk around, and I don’t see him with you! You don’t even look all haunted like you always do after killing him!”

“Because I haven’t, but can I just—“

“Do you really think  _ just _ Angeal and Zack is guard enough for  _ him _ ?”

“How do you even  _ know _ about this?”

“That would be my fault—apologies, Cloud.”

Cloud sighed and turned to the corner, saying, “I didn’t even know you were back in town, Vincent.”

Vincent stepped out of the shadows, saying, “Chaos alerted me to some unusual energy fluctuations in Aerith’s church. I wasn’t too far, so I stopped to check. You seemed to have it handled.”

Cloud paused, hoping (and knowing it was fruitless) that he wasn’t blushing. 

“How much were you, uh, looking in our windows for?”

Vincent blinked placidly at him and said, “Enough.”

Cloud winced and whispered, “Oh Gaia.” His face felt aflame. 

Tifa narrowed her eyes and came to a stop in front of him, her arms folded over her chest.

“What? What didn't you want Vincent to see?”

“Can we sit? And I’ll explain?”

“We can stand, and you’ll explain anyway.”

Cloud sighed and said, “He was in the water when he showed up again, Tifa. Aerith’s water. He’s… not the same. No world-ending urges.”

“You think his J-cells are fixed?”

“I know it. And I’m pretty sure the Planet sent him back. I don’t know why, but you know she doesn’t do anything without a reason.”

“ _ You _ know that—I’m not the one that’s close to the  _ Planet _ .”

“Right. Well, point is, we don’t need to get all up in arms. He’s not going to get up to anything he shouldn’t. He’ll stay with me, and we’ll keep an eye on him.”

“To what end? Cloud, even if he’s  _ not  _ trying to summon Meteor, what could he possibly want?”

Cloud shifted uncomfortably, and the moment stretched until Genesis said, “He wants to be a part of our relationship.”

“No.  _ Hell _ no. Cloud, you can’t be considering this.”

Cloud rubbed at his brow, at least half so that he wouldn’t have to look at her. 

“I… I am. Listen, Tifa—“

“ _ No _ . Maybe he’s not a megalomaniacal idiot bent on destroying the world—which I am  _ not _ sold on, by the way—but there is no way he has  _ your _ best interests at heart. You  _ know _ how he treats you. You  _ know  _ how bad this will go. Why are you even thinking about it?”

“ _ Because _ I know how he is with me. You really think he’ll stand by and let other people have me if he can’t?”

“So you’re going to let him force his way into your relationship? This is the same possessive  _ bullshit _ —“

“And I want it, Tifa.”

She shut her mouth with a clack. He was sincerely surprised his face wasn’t literally on fire from how hot it felt. 

“You what?”

“I…” Cloud blew out a hard sigh and ruffled his hair. “I can’t let him go anymore than he can let  _ me _ go.”

“Because he’s your enemy. Because you wouldn’t feel safe with him just wandering around unsupervised.”

“ _ No _ . Because he’s my responsibility. Because I’ve never known how to ignore him. Because—because if my life is a moon then he’s the planet I circle. If he’s  _ here _ , and I’m not going to just kill him for his past crimes, which I’m  _ not _ , then… then I can’t not.”

“You don’t….  _ need _ him, Cloud. Is this that old hero worship talking?”

“No. Maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that he is the one thing I have never been able to move on from. And maybe—maybe he’ll haunt me a little less like this. Maybe if I see him—yawning, and trying to pay bills, and find out he has morning breath like everyone else—maybe he’ll stop being so  _ huge  _ to me. Maybe he’ll finally just be a man.”

Cloud blew out a hard breath and looked up at her, knowing that was a long speech for him. And she stared at him for a long, long moment. Two. Three. Then she sighed and propped her hands on her hips. 

“I want it on record that this is a stupid-ass plan. I think this is gonna go sideways. I think he’s gonna break your heart, and then I’m gonna have to kill him, and I’m gonna start every conversation after with ‘I told you so.’ Okay?”

Cloud smiled hesitantly. It was as good as he was gonna get. 

“Deal.”

“Did you already fuck him? Is that what you didn’t want Vincent watching?”

“ _ Tifa _ !”

“Yes, they did, and I’ll spare you the particulars, but it went much better than whatever you’re imagining,” Genesis interrupted, now that the hard part was done. 

“ _ Cloud _ ,” she sighed. Then looked at Genesis with a frown. “Wait, why do  _ you _ know how it went?”

“I was given the particulars, because I am more than happy to imagine two men I am attracted to in bed together. Unless you would like said details about your self-professed little brother?”

“Ugh,  _ spare me _ ,” she said, nose wrinkling. She tossed a hand up and went back to where she was cleaning glasses at the bar. 

“Are you gonna let this happen, then?” Cloud asked, needing a hard affirmative. 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s the dumbest idea you’ve had to date, but it’s  _ your _ relationship.”

“Let’s… maybe not tell all of AVALANCHE that particular detail just yet?”

“Why?” Tifa said despite the knowing glint in her eye. “Don’t want everyone flying in to kill your new boyfriend?”

Cloud frowned and said, “Come on, they're gonna have enough to say about me letting Sephiroth live without all the details.”

“You know what? If you can find a way to tell them where it doesn’t come up, I won’t say a word.”

It was an ominous proclamation, but Cloud was willing to accept it. 

“Okay,” he said warily. “Well, if we’re, uh, good, I’m gonna try and get everyone on the PHS to let them know. Do you have time for a call with me? If not, you can skip, you uh, already know.”

“Oh no. This, I want to see.”

—

Cloud should have known better than to trust that. 

He  _ was _ able to get everyone on a conference call by saying he had “urgent news.” He just maybe should have thought further ahead about this. 

“So what’s the big problem?” Cid asked. 

“You know it’s like, 3am here, right?” Yuffie said through a yawn. 

“Yeah, I know, sorry,” Cloud said, cursing time differences silently. “It’s just, uh—you’ll want to hear it fast. Just try not to panic, okay?”

“Spit it out, spiky ass,” Barret said, though he didn’t sound as angry as he used to when he said that. 

“Sephiroth’s back. He—“

There was a cacophony. Of course there was—Cloud didn’t know why he thought there wouldn’t be. There was cursing from most people, and a fair amount of shouting, and no one would listen to a word Cloud said, until Vincent fired his gun into the floor.

“You’re fixing that,” Tifa grumbled.

But it did make everyone fall silent. 

“He came back in Aerith’s water,” Cloud said, speaking fast to get the words out in time. “His J-cells are stable. I’m sure there won’t be any Meteor attempts this time. Or Geostigma attempts. Or any other harebrained apocalypse attempts.”

“How can you be sure?” Nanaki asked. Cait Sith was wielding the PHS like usual, Cloud was sure. 

“I’ve… talked with him. He’s different. He doesn’t act like the man we knew.”

“That’s not a lot of assurance, you understand,” Reeve said. “You know better than us what he’s like, but we can’t just leave him unsupervised. Maybe once he’s had time to prove he’s safe, but not immediately.”

“He’ll stay with me.”

“With you and your hoard of boy toys?” Yuffie asked. “Where is he gonna sleep, between you and Genesis when you’re naked?”

Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose and ignored Tifa’s heavy stare. 

“He can sleep on the couch.”

“Where he can just  _ walk out _ ?” Yuffie asked. 

“Then  _ I’ll _ sleep on the couch.”

“Then he’s gonna end up shacked up with one of your boy toys. Weren’t half of them buddy-buddy with him back in the day? You gonna let him snatch your men from you?”

“I  _ really _ don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

“Because he’s evil and is gonna kill them?”

“ _ No _ .”

“Because he’s secretly in love with them but you don’t think they love him back and you’re okay with risking them being in bed together without you even though you don’t know for sure?”

“What?  _ No _ , Yuffie. Leave my relationship out of this. I’ll deal with it, okay? All you have to worry about is that he’s supervised.”

“Won’t he get all bothered, seeing you and your boys together?” Cid asked. “He was always a real creep about you.”

Cloud covered his eyes with one hand. 

“It’ll be  _ fine _ , guys.”

“It’s a fair concern, Cloud,” Reeve pointed out. “It might agitate him. What if that’s what pushes him over the edge?”

“Just—just trust me when I say it won’t do that.”

“Why the hell is Tifa so quiet?” Barret asked. “I know you have to have feelings about this bullshit.”

“I talked to him earlier,” Tifa explained. 

“And? He give you some explanation that makes sense?”

“Yup.”

“Wanna share with the class?”

“I told him he could decide what he says.”

“If Tifa trusts the solution, I think it must be fine,” Nanaki said. 

“I love ya, Teef, but that ain’t enough for me,” Cid said. “What the hell did he tell you that made sense?”

Tifa just raised her eyebrows at Cloud over the PHS they were sharing on speaker mode. 

“Godsdammit,  _ fine _ . He’s gonna be in the relationship, okay? He can sleep with my boyfriends because they’re his boyfriends too.”

There was, strangely enough, no cacophony. You could have heard a pin drop in that moment. 

“Cloud Strife, you’re a stupid sonuvabitch,” Cid whispered. 

And  _ then  _ there was a cacophony. 

Cloud sighed, rubbing at his temple, trying to soothe the oncoming headache as they all voiced their grievances. Genesis rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. 

“Just give them a minute,” he whispered, low enough that the PHS wouldn’t pick it up. 

It took more than a minute. It was at least three before the yelling stopped. Five before they started winding down. 

It ended when Vincent took a quiet moment to say, “He is an adult, who can do what he’d like with his own relationships. Unless you would like to take his choice from him, much as Sephiroth would have?”

There was no further argument. 

There were many comments about how it was unwise, but he could do what he wanted. Cid told him his “fool ass” would have to clean up the mess. Yuffie said she was going to get him back for Wutai. Barret grumbled low and incoherent. Nanaki said he simply wished for Cloud to be happy. 

Reeves requested that Cloud stop by the WRO to make arrangements for a public response, and that he would help coordinate a meeting with Rufus. It was the most sensible part of all of it. 

He and Cloud started to talk specifics, until Yuffie yawned loudly and pointedly, saying, “‘Kay, if we’re on to boring stuff now, I’m going back to bed. Night. Don’t be too stupid, chocobo head.”

Goodbyes were given as they all left one by one, until Reeve, the last one on the call, promised to follow up with Cloud later. 

Then it was just Tifa, Cloud, Vincent, and Genesis, looking at each other over a now-silent PHS. 

Until Tifa said, “Told you you weren’t going to avoid it.”

Cloud grabbed his PHS and eloquently said, “Shut up.”


	23. Chapter 23

It was all a profoundly weird experience. 

Cloud returned home from Tifa’s with Genesis at around 2300. By that point, strangely enough, everyone was in bed. There was a note on the counter, but otherwise, no one to be found. 

It read: “Seph was tired—it’s been over a day, and apparently coming back from the dead takes a lot out of you. He’s the same as he used to be when he was short on sleep: moving slow and barely blinking. Zack took him to bed, and I’ll be with them by the time you’re home. We borrowed your room for the bigger bed, hope you don’t mind. 

Don’t stay up too late

Angeal”

Genesis could well imagine Sephiroth how he used to be, moving so slow he looked almost underwater, nearly forgetting to blink. Cloud was deeply disturbed by the idea of Sephiroth at anything other than his peak. He was not surprised that this behavior started only  _ after _ he had left; it would be a while before they were comfortable showing weakness to each other. 

Cloud stepped away from the note, trying not to think too much about the image it presented, and went to the refrigerator. 

“Head up to bed, Gen.”

“Why? Planning on  _ actually _ sleeping on the couch?” Genesis said, crossing his arms. 

“I’m not tired.”

Genesis sighed. He reached around Cloud to close the refrigerator and turned him by the shoulders. He slid his hands down Cloud’s arms to take his hands and raised them, kissing the knuckles on each. 

“You’re afraid,” Genesis said gently. “You will have to sit in the dark and the quiet and try to sleep knowing  _ Sephiroth  _ is sleeping the next door over. I understand that’s unnerving. But you will have to sleep eventually. You slept in his arms, earlier. Shouldn’t you try now?”

Cloud looked down at their linked hands. 

“I was too tired to do anything else, before. And you were all awake. With everyone asleep, and the house quiet, I just… I won’t sleep tonight. I’d rather be productive than stare at the ceiling.”

Genesis made a low sound of understanding. 

“At least sit in bed with me while you work?”

Cloud paused, then sighed. 

“Let me make a call, then I’ll be right up.”

“Who could you possibly have to call? You just got off the PHS with AVALANCHE.”

“Vincent. I need to… ask a favor from him.”

Genesis looked curious, but let it go. He kissed Cloud’s cheek and squeezed his hands before stepping away. 

“Don’t take too long—I will come looking for you.”

“I’ll be there, I promise.”

—

Cloud kept his promise, and went to review paperwork for his business while in bed, blessedly not needing a light to see the page. He sat in bed next to Genesis, who he stopped to watch sleep every now and then. 

Genesis seemed, more often than not, to understand what was in Cloud’s best interests before Cloud did. It was probably a good sign that he was on board with Sephiroth joining them. He just hoped it wasn’t Genesis’s own interests blinding him. 

But it didn’t matter if it was. He wasn’t Genesis’s responsibility. He had to look after his own best interests before he looked after Cloud’s. It was Cloud’s job to take care of himself, and no one else’s. Even if he tended to do a very poor job with it. 

He kept circling around these thoughts all night. He got far less math done than he had planned on. He stopped every time he heard the slightest rustle or creak from the next room, but the sounds were always brief. He kept trying to focus on his numbers, no matter how hard he was struggling. 

It was 0300 when Cloud gave up. That was reasonable for an early start, he told himself. He brought his books downstairs and made a pot of coffee. He sat with his books, but barely glanced at them. He was too busy thinking in circles, staring at the wall. 

What if AVALANCHE was right? What if this all blew up in his face? He had told himself yesterday that he pictured the worst case and had made his peace with it. He could be happy as Sephiroth’s puppet, and Angeal, Zack, and Genesis could be happy together. 

And he  _ could _ handle that. But could he handle the more mundane problem he had feared with the others: that they would lose interest, and only want each other? He was relatively convinced that the others wouldn’t give up on him, but what if Sephiroth did? What if he was more the man the others had known than the man Cloud did? What if this was a lingering effect of Jenova’s influence, and would fade with time? If Cloud got Sephiroth to face the truth of his humanity, would it mean losing his interest?

Sephiroth had said that Cloud was the only non-negotiable part of the relationship, but he had also said that he still considered Jenova his mother. If one of those things stopped being true, would both?

Could Cloud cope with a Sephiroth who had no interest in him?

He had before, he told himself. For years, as a boy and then as a trooper, when Sephiroth hadn’t even known his name. But he was accustomed, now, to his obsession being returned. To Sephiroth being as feverishly invested as Cloud was in him. 

Could he handle seeing Sephiroth look at him with indifference?

It didn’t matter, he told himself. He would do whatever he had to. If his lovers, if  _ Sephiroth _ progressed past the need for him, that was fine. He just wanted them happy, he told himself. He could leave, let them have the house, and do something else. He could find somewhere new to stay, envelop himself in work, and spend every free moment at the club. He could even go to the BDSM clubs Genesis had mentioned. That couldn’t go too badly. No one but the men who might leave him could hurt or bind him in any way he couldn’t withstand or escape. 

He could cope. He would cope. He could hang on by his fingernails so that, if they ever felt like checking in, he could show them that they didn’t have to worry. He could hold out, for them. Until they stopped checking and forgot about him. He’d decide what to do when he reached that point. 

Cloud took an absent-minded sip of his coffee, only to find it cold. He wrinkled his nose and looked down at it—how long had he been thinking? He stood to microwave it, when he heard the distinct sound of someone getting out of bed. 

He glanced at the clock. 0403. It couldn’t be Genesis who had gone to bed later, and certainly wasn’t Zack, who was never up before 0900. Even Angeal wouldn’t be up this early. 

Cloud watched the microwave spin his coffee, and tried not to think about who was in the bathroom… apparently brushing his teeth? Maybe Sephiroth really did have morning breath. Maybe he was just particular about hygiene. Either was strange. 

Cloud was sitting back at the table with his coffee by the time Sephiroth came downstairs. Sephiroth paused on the bottom stair, making eye contact with Cloud over the rim of his mug. Cloud blinked at him, and Sephiroth stepped down from the stair. 

Cloud watched, saying nothing, as Sephiroth began rifling through cabinets. He suspected he was looking for a mug to get coffee with, but he got the distinct feeling Sephiroth didn’t want his help. 

Mostly it was strangely humanizing to watch  _ Sephiroth _ looking for something like a normal person. No casual demands to be served. No mysterious knowledge of the location of what he was looking for. Just a stubborn, proud man who didn’t want to ask for help from someone he used to call his enemy. 

Eventually, when he really believed he was seeing what he was, Cloud called, “Above the sink.”

Sephiroth glanced at him before following the direction to the mugs, where he quietly picked what appeared to be a plain white mug. Cloud knew that he owned no plain white mugs, and that the back of that had “Gaia’s #1 Sort Of Dad” hand-painted on the back. Marlene and Denzel had made it for him for Father’s Day one year. They had found it very funny, and admittedly, so did Cloud. 

Sephiroth didn’t seem to notice until he had poured his coffee and spun it to take the handle. He paused, staring at it for half a second, before he apparently decided he was committed and picked it up. 

Cloud wasn’t sure if he actually took his coffee black, or if he was too proud to either ask or look around for cream and sugar. He was sure he’d find out sooner or later. 

Sephiroth sat across from him at the table. Cloud took a sip of coffee. Sephiroth mirrored him. 

“Have you been down here brooding all night?” Sephiroth asked. 

“No,” Cloud answered, instead of denying that he had been brooding at all. It never did occur to him to lie to Sephiroth. “How did you sleep?”

“Adequately. Did you sleep at all?”

“No.”

“You’ll have to sleep with me here eventually.”

“I slept next to you yesterday.”

“Is that what it will take? Me beneath you, where you will notice if I leave?” Sephiroth, unlike the others, was under no delusions that Cloud hadn’t woken when he left the bed the other day, despite what he may have pretended. 

“Dunno. We’ll see. Does it bother you? That I didn’t sleep?”

“Of course it bothers me.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow and sipped at his coffee. 

“Would’ve thought you’d be pleased. I’d have a harder time stopping you if you had some scheme if I’m sleep deprived.”

Sephiroth’s brow ticked in irritation. 

“I have no  _ scheme _ , and I have no desire for you to be sleep deprived. If I am to defeat you in combat, it will be at the height of your strength.”

“I am  _ not _ sparring with you any time soon.”

“Why not?”

“Because I had my first spar right before we found you, and it was hard enough not to stab  _ Zack _ , who has only ever protected me. I will absolutely end up stabbing you, even if I don’t mean to.”

Sephiroth hummed and took a drink. 

“You’ll spar with the others more often, then. Once you’re in the habit, we will be able to spar without issue.”

It did not occur to Cloud to question the fact that Sephiroth ordered him so casually. 

“I doubt we’d be able to spar, no matter how much practice I have. We’ve done too many death matches for that.”

“We’ll see.”

Cloud sighed and set his mug on the table. 

“Either way, that’s not a problem for today. What  _ is _ , is that I asked a favor for you.”

Sephiroth’s brow just barely furrowed. It was already more emotion than he was used to seeing on that face. 

“What ‘favor?’”

“I know someone who was close to your mother—your actual mother. Thought it might do you some good to hear about her.”

Sephiroth sighed impatiently, putting his own mug down. 

“Jenova is my mother, regardless of who birthed me.”

“She’s not. She’s an alien parasite whose genes you happen to share. She’s a heartless bitch who used you for her own ends. I don’t know how you can defend her.”

They both knew the obvious argument. That Cloud defended Sephiroth, who had used him just as much. But then Sephiroth would have to admit their positions were comparable. Cloud knew he wasn’t willing to do that, but hoped that he might. 

He pursed his lips instead. 

“I’ll hear what your friend has to say,” he conceded instead. 

Cloud nodded and stood, going about preparing breakfast. Sephiroth sat at the table, drinking his coffee in silence, watching as Cloud worked. He could feel the weight of his gaze on his back as he went about making enough breakfast for five enhanced men. 

They would need more groceries at this rate. Maybe Angeal could pick up more shifts at the restaurant where he was a chef. Zack was still apprenticing to be a piercer at a tattoo parlor—he would feel guilty about not being able to pick up shifts, when he saw the grocery bill. But he was passionate about this path, so they all encouraged him. Genesis wouldn’t ask for more shifts when it would take money from Tifa’s pocket, and Cloud wasn’t going to be able to take deliveries until they reached some semblance of normalcy. It was a good thing he had plenty of savings from over the years. It was a small fortune, really. They didn’t  _ really _ all have to work, but none of them were particularly idle people. 

Cloud was so busy thinking about their jobs that he didn’t realize Sephiroth had come to stand beside him until he bumped into him. He spun, wielding a spatula as he might a knife, his heart racing. Sephiroth looked distinctly unimpressed, and Cloud lowered the spatula with a scowl. 

“Can you not sneak around?”

“I made no special effort to be quiet.”

“You move like a ghost at the best of times.”

“Your ears are sensitive enough to hear me, should you bother to listen.”

Cloud frowned and flipped an egg. Sephiroth rested his hip against the counter and folded his arms over his chest. 

“I’m not usually on high alert in my own home.”

“You are not simply ‘not on high alert.’ You are distracted.”

“You can’t have my attention all the time.”

“I expect no such thing. I suspect you are distracted because my arrival presents many problems.”

Cloud slid the cooked one out of the pan and onto a plate. He cracked another. 

“Unless you have some solution, I don’t see why it matters.”

“Which problems are you concerned about?”

Cloud looked up from the pan to Sephiroth, a furrow in his brow. 

“Are you offering to help me problem-solve?”

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow in return. 

“I am the cause. Should I not be a part of the solution?”

Cloud blinked. Then he looked back at the eggs. 

“They aren’t problems you know how to handle.”

“Try me.”

Cloud sighed impatiently. 

“I was just thinking about where we’re going to get grocery money, with an extra mouth to feed. But it’s fine, I have savings. Angeal may be able to pick up some shifts. Once you’re settled, I can take extra deliveries. It’s things like that—little logistical problems, that Shinra used to handle for you. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

Sephiroth frowned. Cloud wasn’t looking, but Sephiroth almost looked disturbed. 

“I am not your responsibility, Cloud.”

Because Cloud was his responsibility. He was his to care for. Cloud shouldn’t be taking care of these details—Sephiroth wasn’t aware of said details, but surely they were his duty. 

Cloud finally looked up at him—he looked at him in complete confusion. 

“Of course you are. You have been since the reactor.”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed in response. 

“I can’t imagine how you came to that conclusion.”

Cloud looked back at the egg to flip it. He stared back at it as he spoke. 

“Because I’m the only one that can stop you. Whatever you manage to get away with, whatever stupid stunts you pull—they’re on my head. No one will  _ say _ as much, but it’s the truth. Every person you kill or scheme you manage, it’s because I failed to stop you. All that blood is on my hands. So of course you’re my responsibility.”

Sephiroth reached out and flicked off the gas burner. As Cloud was starting to protest, he took him by the shoulders and made him face him. 

“My successes are not your failures, they are _my_ _successes_. They are deeds I succeeded in _in spite of you_. A rock cannot fault itself for failing to stop a river. It can only force the river to go around, until the river is weak enough that it can be dammed.”

Cloud paused, looking at Sephiroth in confusion. Because he was  _ earnest _ . It seemed to  _ matter _ to him that Cloud understood this point. He couldn’t imagine why. It seemed obvious to Cloud that Sephiroth was, in fact, his responsibility. 

“But if the river floods a town, isn’t it the rock’s fault for not being enough to dam it faster? Everything the river sweeps away and drowns, it’s because the rock couldn’t stop it sooner.”

“A rock cannot be held responsible for a river doing what is in its nature to do. Rivers swell and flood towns, yes. They also dwindle, and are dammed by rocks they were once able to circumvent.”

Cloud frowned and said, “I’m shit at metaphors, point is, if I could stop you in the end, I should have been able to stop you sooner.”

“You had to grow, Cloud. You did not have the strength at first. And when you did, you stopped me. Your success was not my failure, it was simply your success. Allow me my own successes, such as they were.”

Cloud scowled harder, his brow furrowing. It made sense, after a fashion, but it was a foreign way of thinking. Cloud was too accustomed to the weight of Sephiroth’s sins on his shoulders to simply set the burden down. 

“I’ll think about it.”

“I suppose that is all I can ask for,” Sephiroth said on a sigh. Then he raised one hand, brushing the backs of his fingers along Cloud’s cheek. “You take on too much as it is. I was never supposed to be one of your burdens.”

Before Cloud could figure out what to say about either the words or the gesture, Sephiroth had taken a step back and grabbed his coffee cup. 

He leaned back against the counter and casually said, “Good morning, Angeal.”

Cloud turned to see Angeal coming down the last few steps yawning and rubbing his eye. He didn’t seem to have caught the exchange. 

“Morning,” he said, wandering over, frowning when he saw Cloud at the stove. “I could have made breakfast. What are you doing up before sunrise, anyway?”

“He didn’t sleep,” Sephiroth explained. 

Angeal frowned and said, “ _ Cloud.” _

Cloud sighed and turned around to flick the stove back on. 

“It’s fine. Coffee’s done. Enough of breakfast is ready for you to eat, if you’re hungry.”

Then he felt a hip check him out of the way and a hand pluck the spatula from his own. 

“If you didn’t sleep, you’re not cooking,” Angeal said firmly, seasoning the egg without looking up at Cloud, who was scowling again. 

“I can cook just fine—I can go way more than one day with no sleep.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Go relax, I’ll take care of breakfast,” Angeal said before pausing to kiss Cloud between the brows. “You know I like cooking, anyway. It’s no trouble, really.”

Cloud sighed at the reminder but accepted it—Angeal  _ did _ insist on cooking most mornings. In order to return the favor, Cloud got him his morning coffee: black, with two teaspoons of sugar. While Cloud did this, Sephiroth and Angeal struck up conversation about Angeal’s job. Sephiroth kept his eyes on Cloud as he spoke, though, and a small furrow remained between his brows. Cloud passed off Angeal’s coffee and was given a kiss and a thank you in exchange. He went to sit back at the table and tried to hide a yawn from Sephiroth’s watchful eyes. 

By this point, Cloud’s coffee had gone cold  _ again _ , but he couldn’t be bothered to microwave it a second time. He just sipped at it and pretended not to notice the temperature. 

By the time there was a knock on the door, breakfast had concluded, and everyone was awake. Sephiroth was the only one who looked up at the knock, everyone else content to let Cloud get it when he immediately got out of his chair. 

He opened the door and stepped aside to let Vincent in without a word; they were quiet people, and had a tendency for silence between them when words were unneeded. The nod they shared sufficed. 

Angeal had disappeared to get ready for work, but Genesis and Zack didn’t start until later, and were doing dishes while Sephiroth had sat with Cloud at the table. 

“Morning, Vinny! Didn’t expect you here,” Zack said, looking over his shoulder. 

“Again, I would appreciate it if you didn’t call me that.”

“Someone’s gotta bring some fun to your life!”

“Just allow it, Vincent,” Genesis said. “If you protest too much, he’ll choose something else, and it  _ will _ be worse.”

“I resent that,” Zack said, but his tone was too chipper to be believable. 

Vincent simply nodded before turning his eyes to Sephiroth, who was watching him evenly. 

“We’ll be in the living room,” Cloud announced, looking pointedly at Sephiroth before leading the way. 

Genesis waved a hand over his shoulder while Zack chirped, “Good luck!”

Sephiroth trailed after Vincent and Cloud, only to find a strange seating arrangement when he arrived in the living room. Cloud was on the loveseat, Vincent sitting in the armchair. He could either sit next to Cloud, or on the other couch. He had expected them to sit together. 

Eventually, when Cloud arched an eyebrow at his pause, he sat next to him. He would not admit that, perhaps, he could use the comfort. 

This was of course why Cloud had sat on the loveseat in the first place. 

“You were with Cloud,” Sephiroth said, when the silence stretched. 

“I was.”

“If you knew Lucretia, why did you join him against me?”

“I joined him specifically because of you. I felt responsible for you, as her son. I could not stand idly by while you destroyed the world.”

Sephiroth’s brow furrowed. He was not appreciating the amount of people who wanted to take responsibility for his actions. 

“Who were you to her, to feel such a way?”

“Hojo, Lucretia, and I were much like how you and Cloud are with Zack, Angeal, and Genesis.”

Sephiroth blinked. 

“Forgive me, but I have a hard time imagining  _ Hojo _ able to successfully manage not only one lover, but two.”

Vincent shrugged. 

“It needed to be the three of us. Hojo and Lucretia were a volatile pair. Passionate geniuses, the both of them—they needed a mediator. Someone to steady them, to intervene when their fire burned too hot. They didn’t add me for that reason, but that is the reason we worked.”

Sephiroth could imagine it too well; it was much the way he and Genesis had been, with Angeal as their mediator. He disliked the idea of even that much similarity with Hojo. 

“Why  _ did _ they add you, then?”

“Because they found me attractive and we were spending large amounts of time together already. I do not doubt convenience was a factor.”

Cloud was frowning, clearly wanting to insist that his friend had been more than a convenience. But Cloud also didn’t think enough of either Hojo or Lucretia to believe they saw his worth. 

Sephiroth, however, huffed a laugh. 

“ _ That  _ sounds like Hojo,” he said, before tilting his head. “How are you sure  _ you _ aren’t my father, if you were all involved?”

“I’m not sure, no.”

Sephiroth blinked. Cloud sat upright. 

“Vincent,  _ what? _ ” Cloud asked. 

Vincent shrugged and said, “It is possible, of course. It is simply unlikely. I would be shocked if Hojo hadn’t tested your DNA to be sure. He would have aborted you and started again, had you been mine.”

“Why? He was fond of you.”

“He was furious with me, by that point.”

“ _ Why _ ?”

Vincent sighed and said, “I am doing a poor job explaining this. Let me start from the beginning: I was the Turk assigned to guard the team for Project S. We became close, and entangled. Your mother, while pregnant with you, began to have strange dreams, foreseeing what you would later attempt to do. I attempted to escape with her, but we were caught by your father. He shot me with the gun I gifted him to keep himself safe.

“So, as you can imagine, he was not happy with me. Lucretia remained with him until after your birth; if you were mine, he would have terminated you. He could have tried again with no interference. There is a chance I am wrong, and he was sentimental enough to keep you in this off chance, but I doubt it.”

Sephiroth hummed. 

“I have never known him to be a sentimental man.”

“He could be, on very rare occasion. But I, too, find it unlikely.”

“Where did Lucretia go, then? She was not with me.”

“You were taken from her before she was allowed to hold you. She attempted suicide as a result of the grief, but did not succeed. She slept encased in mako, much as you did at one point. She still sleeps. She blames herself for what you were able to do. The last words I heard from her were an apology.”

Sephiroth sighed impatiently, pinching the bridge of his nose. He blew out a slow, frustrated breath. 

“Why must everyone insist on taking responsibility for my actions? Is it so impossible to believe that I have autonomy?”

Cloud opened his mouth to insist that that wasn’t what was happening, but Vincent beat him to it. 

“Did you?” he said, blunt and to the point. “You were raised to be completely subordinate to Shinra’s will. Then Jenova took their place. Can you say, with whole honesty, that she did not cloud your thoughts? We have all seen, through Cloud, how impossible she can make it to think.”

Sephiroth stood abruptly. He stared down at Vincent for a long moment before he spun away and left to go out the back door, to the little patch of concrete behind the townhome. 

“I need to think,” he declared on the way out. 

They let him go. 

—

Cloud itched to check on Sephiroth, but held himself back. It would make the situation worse, to prove that he didn’t trust Sephiroth. The problem was that he  _ didn’t  _ quite trust him. It felt all too plausible that the conversation may have set off Sephiroth’s worst behavior. 

But before his determination to wait faded, Sephiroth came back inside. He shut the door gently behind him. 

He did not address the idea of his own autonomy. Instead he said, “Is she still asleep?”

Vincent blinked placidly, but did not seem to think much of the new direction of the conversation. 

“She is. I can take you to her, if you like. Cloud could as well; he knows where she is.”

Sephiroth looked at Cloud, who shrugged. 

“We met, once. Vincent goes more often.”

“I will go with Cloud to see her, at some point. She is not my priority. Frankly, neither are you, Vincent. I have had no parental figures to this point, and I feel no need for them now—whether you are truly my father or simply the lover of my parents. Regardless of how you felt when Cloud approached you, know that I am  _ certainly _ not your responsibility now.”

Vincent blinked at him slowly. 

“Of course not. You are under no one’s sway now. What you do, from here on out, with a clear head, must be on your own conscience.”

“Many would argue that I do not have one.”

“They would be fools. We all feel the weight of our sins. It is simply a matter of how much that weight bothers us.” With that, Vincent stood, saying, “You must only be aware that Cloud feels the weight of your sins as well. Do not add to his burden unduly.”

Sephiroth stood as well, adding, “I intend to make it clear to him than any sins I commit are my own.”

“Can we not talk about me like I’m not here?” Cloud asked, standing with them. Vincent was the only one who glanced at him. 

“You will sort out who is responsible for whom in your own time. I only hope you will remember that you are your own people—that  _ both _ of you remember this.”

Without saying anything further, Vincent swept ahead of them and into the kitchen, then through it. Cloud followed at his heels, but Sephiroth stopped at the kitchen table with Genesis and Zack. 

When Vincent turned to Cloud at the door, he said, “I see what you mean, about him. He isn’t the same. But still, be careful with him.”

“I’m always careful with him.”

“More than usual. Before, the worst he could do was kill you. If you give him your heart, he can do much worse.”

Cloud looked up at Vincent, who looked back at him knowingly. Because he, too, had given his heart to someone who misused it. Cloud nodded slowly. 

“I’ve got the others watching my back. It’ll be fine.”

“I hope that proves true. Be well, Cloud.”

“You too, Vincent.”

Behind them, Genesis had looked up at Sephiroth immediately. 

“How did it go?”

“It was interesting. And infuriating.”

“That’s how a lot of conversations can go with Cloud and Vincent both there.”

“I’m not eager to repeat the experience. I already have much that needs to be properly considered.”

“There’s no rush,” Genesis said. “Cloud and Vincent might very well both be immortal. You’ve got time.”

At this point, Vincent had left, the door shutting softly behind him. Cloud sighed and ran a hand through his hair, but heard the remark. 

“Stop telling people I’m immortal,” Cloud called, before finally coming down the hall. He stopped at the mouth of the kitchen with his hands on his hips. 

“We have no evidence to the contrary,” Genesis said, sipping at a cup of coffee. 

“You could say that about literally anyone alive.”

“Not Sephiroth.”

“Probably especially Sephiroth. He keeps coming back.”

“But he also keeps dying. That makes him mortal.”

“I’m not arguing semantics with you,” Cloud said, ruffling his hair. 

Genesis shrugged and said, “Suit yourself,” before taking another sip. 

He glanced up to see Sephiroth watching them with raised eyebrows. Cloud shrugged in response. 

“A little irreverence never hurt anybody.”

“I’m standing right here.”

“And I’m not skewered, for once. Seems like it’s fine.”

Zack snorted a laugh into his coffee. Genesis was grinning behind his own mug. Sephiroth looked between them and Cloud’s raised eyebrow, wondering how it took less than 48 hours for them to stop treating him like he might bring death down from the sky again. 

He wasn’t sure if he was impressed or infuriated. 


	24. Chapter 24

Sephiroth was quiet. Much too quiet. 

It got under Cloud’s skin in a very deeply unpleasant way. It reminded him of when he had locked himself in the library before burning Nibelheim, which he still wasn’t sure if he was remembering from his own perspective or Zack’s. 

Zack wasn’t liking the turn of events much either. They shared many knowing, wary looks as they watched Sephiroth stare out the window or polish his sword repeatedly. 

Angeal and Genesis insisted that it was fine, that Sephiroth simply did this at times. Whenever there was a problem he couldn’t quite figure out, he loomed and brooded and skulked about until he found a satisfactory answer. Trying to get words from him would be like trying to pull his teeth until he was done. They were very calm about the whole thing. 

They had not been there the last time this happened, when the conclusion he came to cost Cloud his mother and hometown. 

Cloud let it go as long as he could. Eventually, though, they had to move on with their lives. Next steps had to be taken. 

A knock came at the door, and Cloud went to get it. He was still rethinking his whole strategy. It had been about a week and a half since Sephiroth returned, now, and he had spent that time keeping this secret to himself. But he couldn’t stall anymore. And now that the reveal was imminent, he wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have told Sephiroth sooner. 

Cloud went to answer it, the way he always did; this technically  _ was _ his house, after all. 

“C’mon in. Keep your hands to yourselves—anything goes missing, I’ll know who took it, and I’ll be pissed.”

Cloud turned back around and led the way down the hall. Genesis, Angeal, and Zack were all at work. Sephiroth had been sitting at the kitchen table with him while he worked on finally getting his books in some semblance of order. He looked up when Cloud entered the room. He did not look pleased at the sight of who was behind him. 

“Rufus Shinra and his Turks,” Sephiroth greeted, inclining his head. “To what do I owe the displeasure?”

“Rest assured, the feeling is mutual,” Rufus said, his politician’s smile for once absent. “I’m here as a favor to Cloud, who has somehow convinced me that we should allow you to run amok.”

Sephiroth turned his gaze to Cloud, his eyes suspicious. 

“And how did he do that?”

“He’s—“

“ _ Rufus—“ _

“—vouching for you. The world idolizes him—I’m sure he’s told you how the laypeople call him ‘Savior’ more often than not.”

“He has not,” Sephiroth said, his eyes boring into Cloud, who refused to make eye contact, looking instead at his boots. 

“Well, they do. He’s everyone’s hero, specifically because he’s stopped you. And now he’s going on record saying that you won’t hurt anyone again. Which, for his sake, I hope is true—he may be their hero, but if this experiment fails, he will be strung up by the mob that adores him.”

Sephiroth’s gaze grew heavier; Cloud knew how he felt about people trying to take responsibility for his actions. 

“Of course,” Rufus continued breezily, “if you are the same man you were, I’m sure that would delight you. When I pointed this out to Cloud, that him paying the price for your actions is more an incentive than a deterrent, he seemed convinced I was wrong. I suppose time will tell.”

“What, exactly, are you here for, Rufus?”

“The plan is quite simple, really. Cloud and I have already conducted an interview that will be released to the press, wherein he explains that you were host to a dangerous parasite that influenced you, but have been cured by the same holy water that healed Geostigma. He vouches first your sanity and that you will be completely safe to be around.”

“If he has been so  _ forthcoming _ ,” Sephiroth hissed the word, clearly furious to have his business aired to the public, “then I don’t see what part I have to play in all this.”

“We simply need a few photographs. One of you by yourself, and one of the two of you together. To prove you are truly back, and that he is willing to stand with you.”

Sephiroth finally looked back to Rufus. He was no stranger to photo-ops after all. He sighed and flicked the hair from his eyes. 

“Let’s get this over with, then. When this is printed, I will be able to leave the house, yes?”

“Yeah,” Cloud said, finally glancing up. Sephiroth still didn’t look pleased. 

“I mean it as no insult to your company, Cloud, but I am very tired of this place,” Sephiroth said, standing. “How do you want me? Do I need to change?”

Tseng stepped out from behind Rufus’s shoulder and began unpacking a camera. 

“What you’re wearing is fine,” Rufus is explained. “We want you to look casual—a V-neck will certainly do that. I admit, I’m shocked to see you in color.”

Sephiroth glanced down at the deep green shirt. 

“I did not pick it—I haven’t been able to leave to do my own shopping.”

“That does check out, doesn’t it?” Rufus said, glancing around the apartment. He walked ahead into the living room to look around for better backdrops. “Do you still have the sword?”

“Of course.”

“Cloud, assemble your sword and put it on one of these racks,” Rufus said, gesturing to the mounted brackets, where each individual sword of First Tsurugi was balanced. “We’ll put Masamune in the bracket below, and it will be an excellent metaphor as well as a reasonable backdrop.”

Cloud sighed and went about assembling the sword as Rufus stepped away. 

“Elena, put this armchair by the window, at an angle.”

Elena went to comply while Cloud sniped, “I didn’t tell you you could rearrange my house, Rufus.”

“No, you told me to get the shots we need, which I am doing. Excellent, Elena, thank you. Sephiroth, you come sit here.”

Sephiroth sighed and went to sit in the chair. He folded one leg over another and rested his hands on the arms of the chair, much as he had in many old photos. 

“It will only be a headshot. Just do your usual deadpan; no one will believe it’s you otherwise.”

Sephiroth shot an annoyed look at Rufus. 

“Close, but try deader. And look out the window.”

Sephiroth sighed and did as instructed. Soon after, he heard the camera click as Tseng took the shot. 

“That will work. Now come stand next to Cloud—and where is that sword?”

As Sephiroth came to stand by Cloud, who had First Tsurugi assembled and mounted, he summoned Masamune to his hand. He placed it on the wall, his hilt facing the same way as Cloud’s—he had done enough photo-ops to understand visual metaphor. He gave Cloud a pointed look that said just how much he hated all of this. His only consolation was Cloud’s apologetic shrug, and the fact that he didn’t seem to be enjoying this either. 

“Now, next to each other—perfect. Cloud, your left hand on his shoulder, and then you will shake hands.”

“Isn’t this a bit cheesy, Rufus?” Cloud said with a grimace, despite falling into the pose. 

“We need cheesy, Cloud. We need blatant proof of your approval, or people will think I’m putting words in your mouth.”

Cloud sighed, but nodded. He then held still for the photo, putting on no particular expression, much the way he did in every photo Rufus had swindled him into. Tseng quickly took a few versions of the shot and then lowered the camera. 

“That should be all. I’ll have a copy sent here when it’s public—do wait until then before going out, Sephiroth. Perhaps wait a few days  _ after _ , to be sure word circulates.”

Sephiroth scoffed in disgust and pulled away. Cloud began ushering Rufus and his Turks up the hall and out the door, making promises that this would be worth everyone’s while, and even if it wasn’t, Rufus owed him anyway. 

When Cloud came back, alone this time, he lingered awkwardly at the entrance to the room. He knew Sephiroth was pissed. He was always going to be pissed. Now he would just have to deal with it. 

“You cannot be afraid of my foul moods if this is to work, Cloud,” Sephiroth said, glancing up at Cloud with frigid eyes. His arms were crossed as he sat in the armchair he had moved back into place. 

“I’m not  _ afraid _ of them,” Cloud argued, coming to sit on the loveseat across from him. 

“They intimidate you. You avoided telling me about this because you knew I wouldn’t like it.”

“Well, yeah. No sense in dealing with you being pissed at me sooner than I had to.”

“I would be ‘pissed’ with you for less time if you had  _ warned _ me. I did not appreciate hearing from  _ Rufus Shinra _ that you are attempting to take responsibility for me.  _ Again _ . After we have already spoken about it.”

“Listen, that’s just what the public needs to hear, okay? I couldn’t think of another way they would accept you, not without vouching for you myself.”

“I imagine you didn’t try very hard to consider it. This  _ is _ a very neat solution for you.”

“... What does  _ that _ mean?”

“It means that you win either way. Either I behave, and you keep this relationship, and all goes according to plan, or I act out, destroy what you hold dear, and society itself rejects you. You built your own punishment into the situation.”

“That is  _ not _ what I was after.”

“Wasn’t it? How long has it sickened you, to have society sing your praises while you were riddled with guilt for failing to stop me sooner, for having to kill me at all?”

Cloud averted his gaze. He didn’t answer. Sephiroth clicked his tongue impatiently. 

“You are a masochist, Cloud, especially when you feel you deserve the pain. You orchestrated this so that, if you fail to keep me in line, you will be punished in a way you find appropriate. You will be left alone and miserable, where you will continue to make yourself  _ more _ miserable, until it finally consumes you.”

“I  _ didn’t  _ do this on purpose,” Cloud grumbled, sullen. 

“Perhaps not; you’ve never been one for planning. But it suits your ends quite nicely, does it not?”

“Well what the hell was I  _ supposed  _ to do?” Cloud huffed, looking up at Sephiroth. His gaze had only grown icier. 

“I do not know—I was not consulted with enough time to give it due thought. Now the process is already in motion.”

“I can stop it, if it bothers you so much. Rufus won’t send it to the press if I tell him not to.”

“In the end, the means of how I am allowed into society do not matter. I simply need you to be aware of what you have done. And when I prove that I  _ do not _ need to be wrangled, that there are no more sins on the horizon for you to unduly burden yourself with, perhaps you will finally let this foolishness go.”

Cloud sighed heavily and ruffled his hair. 

“I  _ swear _ that isn’t what this is about. You and Vincent made strong points—you have autonomy, now. I’m going to respect that. Your actions are your own. If you go rogue, I’ll stop you, and I just—will have to try not to feel guilty about it.”

Sephiroth looked at him consideringly, his head tilting to one side. The moment paused and stretched like taffy. 

“You mean that, don’t you? You will do your best to move past this.”

“Emphasis on the ‘do my best’ part, but yeah.”

“Then you admit you do not have to take care of me.”

“I didn’t say that, I said I’m not responsible for you. You don’t know how a lot of things work yet. Until you’re on your feet, yeah, I’ll be helping take care of you. Like everyone else is. We all take care of each other.”

“Yet you find it abhorrent to be cared for.”

Cloud winced.

“I don’t know how you got  _ there _ from what I said.”

“It is a logical conclusion for anyone who knows you. If I am wrong, simply say so.”

Cloud flinched harder. He looked away. 

“Listen, it doesn’t matter, okay?”

“Hardly. You, of all people, need to be cared for. It is a constant source of annoyance to me that you fight this process.”

“I don’t  _ need _ anything. I don’t  _ need _ to be cared for.”

“This attitude is precisely why you do. Even I admit my limitations.”

“You were just saying you don’t need to be cared for!”

“No, I said  _ you _ do not need to take care of me.”

“Well why can’t I?”

Sephiroth sighed in irritation. 

“I can’t tell if you’re being deliberately obtuse or not.”

Cloud scowled and folded his arms. 

“And I can’t tell if you’re deliberately being an ass or not.”

“Cloud Strife, you are inherently neglectful of your own person and always have been. You take the world on your shoulders and allow for no help. If you have a need, you deliberately ignore it to no end if you have the slightest excuse. Anything you dislike about yourself, you try to bury instead of acknowledging it and working with it. You cannot meet your own needs. You need help with them—and there is nothing wrong with that.”

Cloud was scowling harder and harder and harder, right up until the very end. Then his expression went slack with shock. 

“What?”

“There is nothing  _ wrong _ with needing help. As you said, we all need to be cared for. You simply require more help than others. You have many people who long to give this to you. I only don’t understand why you fight it so hard.”

Cloud looked confused. He looked perturbed. Because Sephiroth had a  _ point.  _ He was always looking for other people to put him back together. First Zack, years ago. Then Aerith, for help with his identity. Tifa, with his depression. Strangers, to give up his control to. Genesis, who helped him with every part of his life. Zack and Angeal, who did much the same. From reminding him to eat and sleep, to taking tasks from him when he overworked himself, to stripping his control when he needed that. 

Sephiroth, who had done much the same, years ago. Who had stripped his control and made him feel a peaceful sort of ecstasy he had been chasing with every person he flung his control at since. 

Had he been trying to take care of him this whole time?

Cloud popped to his feet. Sephiroth stared evenly, knowingly up at him. Seeing everything, knowing everything, and denying nothing. 

Denying nothing. 

Cloud turned and strode away. He lengthened his stride and quickened his pace until he was nearly running. For the first time since Sephiroth returned, he left the man alone in the house. 

He flung himself across the back of Fenrir and sped away. 


	25. Chapter 25

Cloud was sitting on Fenrir, his firmly planted feet keeping it steady. He lifted his PHS to listen to another voicemail. 

It was Zack this time, saying, “Listen, I want to say Sephiroth is sorry for whatever he said to you, but we both know he’s not. But you have to face him sooner or later. You can’t let him kick you out of your own home, y’know? He has to learn that he’s playing by your rules now, and he won’t get that if you keep running away. Come home, we’ll help you prove that to him.”

Zack again: “He won’t even tell us what he said. Insists it's between you two. He’s staying in the house, just like he agreed to. Best behavior and everything. I think he doesn’t want to prove anyone right about how he can’t be trusted. Or maybe he can, what do I know? Please just come home. I don’t know how to handle him without you.”

Angeal this time: “We miss you, Cloud. I know how he can get. He just  _ says _ things, all brutally honest, and sometimes they’re the last thing you want to hear. I don’t know what he said to you, but I know how he gets under people’s skin. But it’s a defense mechanism for him, a lot of the time. If he’s uncomfortable, he wants you to be, too, so you’re on an even playing field. If Rufus mentioned how you planned to clear his name, I’m not surprised he lashed out. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you he might. Please come home soon.”

Cloud listened, one more time, to the first voicemail he had gotten after he left. He received it six days ago, now. It was from Genesis. 

“I’m giving you a week to get this out of your system. I know you’ve been itching to run since he showed up. I know he finally gave you enough of an excuse to. But you cannot run from this forever—if you tried, I expect he would come find you. If I have to, I will tell AVALANCHE that you ran off and left him with us; they’ll drag you back in a heartbeat. One week, Cloud. Stay safe.”

Cloud swallowed hard. His week was almost up. He had to head back, now. He did not want to. Not even a little. But Genesis did not make idle threats, and he’d never hear the end of it from AVALANCHE if they got involved. 

He tugged the goggles down over his eyes. He grit his teeth and took the handlebars in his grip. 

He didn’t want to do this. 

—

Cloud parked Fenrir beneath the overhang he had built in the back to protect it from the rain. He had only taken off his goggles and stored them again when the back door opened. 

“I’m surprised. I thought I was going to have to send them out after you.”

When he looked up, Genesis was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed and one ankle over the other. 

“Maybe next time,” Cloud said, his small attempt at humor falling flat. He stared down at his bike. 

Genesis stepped out and shut the door pointedly on the others, who were waiting behind him. Zack had only barely skidded into the frame before the door was shut. 

Genesis walked forward until he reached Cloud. As he had many, many times before, he turned him by the shoulders before sliding his hands down Cloud’s arms. He grasped Cloud’s hands and raised them to kiss the knuckles on each. It was all so familiar that Cloud finally glanced up at Genesis. 

“What did he say that bothered you so much?” Genesis asked, his tone gentle. Cloud blew out a slow breath. 

“That I have to be taken care of. That I… don’t do it right by myself.”

“We all take care of each other, my love. No one here is so expected to go it alone.”

“I know, I just… I should be able to. I shouldn’t  _ need _ the help, but I—I do. I think I always have. I think I’ve been trying to find someone to take care of me this whole time, and I  _ hate _ that idea. Because, what if I walked willingly into his arms last time? What if it wasn’t Reunion, it was just me being weak?”

“Cloud, to seek help when you need it is strength, not weakness. It takes courage to be vulnerable. I do believe that it was Reunion, but even if it was not. If, in the past, you sought help from the wrong sort, no one could blame you. You were desperate and out of acceptable options. I know you, I know how much you hate to burden your friends. Of course you didn’t want to turn to them. But you can turn to  _ us _ now. This is what partnerships are for. How many times have I fallen apart, and only gotten myself back together with you in my arms, telling me you loved me?”

“A few.”

“ _ Quite _ a few. How many times has Zack had nightmares of the labs and only calmed with you there with him?”

“I get the point, Gen.”

“Do you? Because you don’t seem to see that we need you as much as you need us. It is only that  _ what _ we all need is different.”

“But I… what if I ask too much? Will you tell me no?”

“If you ask for something that is outside of our collective realm of possibility, we will help you find someone who can give you what you need. We will make sure that, whoever that person is, they are trustworthy. If you cannot trust yourself to put your care in the correct hands, trust us to choose those hands for you.”

Cloud sighed slowly. He nodded. 

“I can do that. I’m sorry I got my head up my ass again, I just—he makes me panic, sometimes. He just always seems to  _ know _ , even if he shouldn’t, and then I can’t tell if he’s in my head again, or if I’m just that transparent to him.”

“He has the advantage of having been in your head in the past. But beyond that, he can be perceptive. He has flung hard truths in my face many times. He does that whenever he wants to force your attention away from him.”

Cloud frowned. 

“Angeal said something like that in a voicemail. I played right into what he wanted.”

“He’s very good at this particular trick; it works on everyone the first time. Next time, you’ll know what he’s doing, and to look closer at him. Remember, Cloud, you know him as well as he knows you.”

Cloud scoffed and said, “I don’t know about that.”

“I do,” Genesis insisted. “I see it whenever you’re together. Do you realize how often you seem to have whole conversations with nothing but your gaze and expressions?”

“We don’t do that.”

“You do it daily. You understand him in a way that the rest of us don’t. We may know some of his old habits and tricks, but you know him at his core, now. Possibly better than we ever did. I only want you to remember that, if this is a duel, you are both armed.”

Cloud scoffed and said, “Of course it has to be sword metaphors.”

“With us, obviously,” Genesis agreed easily. He kissed Cloud’s forehead. “How do you feel?”

Cloud sighed slowly. He gave Genesis a hesitant smile. 

“Better. Thank you.”

Genesis smiled back, infinite in warmth. He squeezed Cloud’s hands. 

“Of course, dearest. Anytime you need the help—much as you would do for any of us.”

Cloud breathed a laugh. 

“I get the point, okay, you don’t have to keep going.”

Genesis turned and wrapped an arm around Cloud’s shoulders. He began drawing him toward the door. 

“I suppose I’ll let it go for now.”

“Oh, you ‘suppose,’ huh?”

Genesis opened the door to reveal Zack and Angeal standing just close enough to the door that they had clearly been eavesdropping. Sephiroth sat in the armchair, watching evenly. 

“Spike, you’re back!” Zack said, and Genesis only barely had time to extricate himself before Zack was hugging Cloud. “We missed you.”

He had his nose buried in Cloud’s hair, who hugged him back with a small smile. 

“I missed you guys too. Sorry about that.”

“No harm done,” Angeal said. Zack didn’t let go, but he leaned far enough away for Angeal to be able to kiss Cloud. “We’re glad to have you back.”

Angeal leaned away to reveal Sephiroth, closely watching the proceedings from his chair. Cloud patted Zack’s arm, who sighed and reluctantly let him go. 

Cloud turned to face Sephiroth. 

“You were right. And I don’t like it. But I don’t have to like it for it to be true. Thank you for the reality check. Just don’t spring it on me like that again, okay?”

Sephiroth paused. He blinked. He had never had someone thank him for that maneuver before. 

“I’ll consider it.”

“Think long and hard about it. Because if you spring shit like that on me again, I’m going to give you your own reality check, and we’ll see how much you like it.”

Sephiroth stared. That was certainly not a threat he had received before. But Cloud always did know how to keep him on his toes. 

A slow smile curled on his face, and strangely enough, all menace was absent. 

“Welcome home, Cloud.”

A matching smile curled on Cloud’s. 

“Thanks. Good to be home.”


	26. Chapter 26

Only Cloud was properly prepared for this situation. 

The press had revealed the news of Sephiroth’s return, and they had dutifully waited another week afterwards to let the dust settle. But things were as calm as they were going to get, now. If they didn’t go out soon and give people a chance to see Sephiroth, the suspense would only make things worse when they finally did. 

So, much like they had when Angeal and Zack first returned, they took Sephiroth out to buy clothes. Genesis and Cloud had bought him a small wardrobe already, but apparently he wanted to be back in his monochrome color scheme. He apparently felt uncomfortable in even the dull colors they had bought him—not that he would use that word. 

Zack had insisted they do this on a day he was free, and he insisted with enough anxiety in his eyes that the rest relented. He clearly needed to see with his own eyes that Sephiroth was safe to be around society again. Nibelheim felt too fresh for him not to be there. 

Genesis had wanted to be there for different reasons. He, too, had once made grievous mistakes. He had needed to reenter society without support. He wanted to be there, to support Sephiroth through this. He was the only one who had been in even a relatively similar position. He trusted Zack and Cloud to handle Sephiroth just fine—it was more that he wanted at least one person there who wasn’t as suspicious of Sephiroth. 

Genesis had work that afternoon and couldn’t be there, but didn’t press for a different day because Angeal was off. Both he and Angeal were fully aware of what Sephiroth was capable of, of course; they had been there for Wutai, they could imagine. But they had not seen him at his worst and would likely be a little softer with him than Zack and Cloud. 

He had not needed to explain to Angeal why he wanted one of them there. They had simply shared a knowing glance. 

Genesis was still a little disappointed to be the only one left out, but he could tolerate the circumstance. He had kissed them all goodbye as he usually did; he and Angeal were still the only two ready to be casually affectionate with Sephiroth. When he kissed Cloud, he simply added under his breath to call if they needed him. Tifa would let him leave if it was urgent. Cloud didn’t need further explanation, and had only nodded his agreement. 

Just because Genesis had been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s needs did not mean he was able to anticipate the public’s response to their group. Neither were Zack and Angeal, or even Sephiroth. Cloud was the only one with an accurate understanding of what they were getting into. 

When Zack tried to cheer him up in the morning, and he could only force half a smile, they all got a bit anxious, though. 

In preparation, Cloud had carefully curated Sephiroth’s presentation. He was insistent that Sephiroth comply, and spoke with clear anxiety mixed with a strange gravitas. Sephiroth complied more as a favor to Cloud than because he saw the necessity. 

He was dressed in a light blue shirt that matched Cloud’s eyes and was loose enough that it didn’t emphasize his musculature. He was allowed black jeans as a concession to his preferred color scheme, but these, too, were carefully fitted to be just a little loose. His hair was slung back in a deliberately messy bun. He was given a pair of simple brown boots, and he only accepted them because the other presented option was a pair of white sneakers. 

The whole image was carefully crafted to be as non-threatening as he could get. 

They were fine when they left the house. The townhouse was in a relatively secluded area on the outskirts of town. The few people they ran into stopped and stared, but it was easy to ignore when it was only a handful. In fact, as the number of people increased ever-so slowly, no one but Cloud noticed the reaction. 

It wasn’t until they were on a busy thoroughfare that the rest noticed. 

Everyone made way for them—that was typical, with Cloud around. But the usual excited whispers and awed stares were absent. The whispers were confused and afraid. Children ducked behind their parents, if the parents didn’t step in front to hide them first. The trepidation was palpable. 

“I knew people wouldn’t be happy, but holy shit,” Zack whispered. 

Cloud continued to usher them along, saying, “Sephiroth left a mark. People haven’t forgotten what it was like, looking up at the sky and seeing death hovering there.”

Sephiroth huffed his indignance. 

“As if they were the targets. If anyone should be this afraid of me, it’s  _ you _ , Cloud.”

“They aren’t trained combatants who have killed you three times. If you want to end them, they couldn’t stop you, and they know that. The only reason they aren’t running is because they’re sure  _ I  _ could.”

Sephiroth sighed heavily, saying, “I suppose I am not allowed to leave the house without you, then?”

“Not until this settles some. Give them time to see you won’t kill them.”

“And if they choose to attack me?”

“They’re unenhanced civilians, Sephiroth. If you have to resort to killing them to stop them, I will never let you live it down.”

Sephiroth scowled. The threat of losing Cloud’s respect was more potent than even Cloud knew. 

“And if an ex-SOLDIER should try?”

“Sephiroth, please. If you need Masamune for anyone we aren’t dating, I will be laughing about it for the rest of my life.”

Sephiroth scowled harder. He pointedly did not look at Angeal, who was amused, or Zack, who was awed that such a threat worked. 

They arrived at their destination eventually, the same store Cloud and Genesis had first taken Zack and Angeal to so they could find their wardrobes. Only, Cloud did not set Sephiroth free in the store. He lingered dutifully one step behind him. 

They watched as the other customers scattered like mice with a light suddenly turned on when they entered the store. People fled down aisles and attempted to casually hide behind racks of clothing. Sephiroth scoffed under his breath. 

“This is absurd. Do they really imagine I would waste my time with them?”

“They don’t know any better, Sephiroth. You were ready to let them all be collateral damage last time,” Cloud reminded. 

Sephiroth clicked his tongue and marched ahead, ignoring the child who started crying as he came close. 

Cloud didn’t go far from Sephiroth, but he fell back a step when Angeal took one forward. He understood, now, why Genesis had wanted one of the old commanders present. He could remind Sephiroth that the people’s fears were justified, but someone else needed to remind him that those fears weren’t held by the people he cared about. If Cloud had tried to reassure him that way, he would only have scoffed. 

Zack linked their hands as he fell in step with Cloud. Once, Cloud would have pulled away. But the media was, in its way, aware of his relationships. They couldn’t understand that he had multiple partners, and were more occupied trying to guess who he was “actually dating” and who was simply a handsy friend. It didn’t much matter to Cloud what they said, so long as there wasn’t the backlash Genesis’s involvement had initially been greeted with. 

The media’s guessing game, however, meant that Cloud could squeeze Zack’s hand back. When he tore his eyes from Sephiroth’s back, Zack smiled encouragingly at him. 

With the cover of Angeal and Sephiroth’s quiet voices, Zack was able to say, “It won’t be forever, you know.”

“What won’t?”

“This. Protecting Sephiroth and the people from each other.”

Cloud looked forward again. Sephiroth was flipping idly through a rack now. 

“I know. I just… don’t like playing guard dog. I know that if he was going to hurt anyone, I would be the first to go. He’s behaved with me, so I’m not worried about the people, but not everyone knows him like I do.”

“ _ We _ don’t even know him like you do, these days. I was plenty nervous he would act up when we brought him out. He didn’t target you first last time.”

Cloud’s lips thinned at the subtle reference to Nibelheim’s fate. 

“I was no one to him, then. Things have changed since. By  _ a lot _ .”

Zack hummed in understanding. 

“And does that bother you? Being so important to him?”

Cloud ruffled his hair, saying, “I’d bother me more if he was suddenly indifferent. I… don’t know what I’d do, if he suddenly didn’t care. I’d rather he hate me before that.”

“Awww, Spike, you know it won’t come to that.”

Cloud glared at Zack, but it was lacking heat. 

“Don’t tell him I said that. It’ll just go to his head.”

Zack grinned and said, “SOLDIER’s honor.”

Ahead of them, Angeal was speaking quietly to Sephiroth. 

“You’ve never let the public opinion bother you this much. Why start now?”

Sephiroth flipped through the rack, lazy and uninterested. This whole section was brightly colored, and he clearly would pick none of them. Everyone let this slide without remark, however. 

“I couldn’t care less about what the public thinks. Their horror is as uninteresting as their adoration.”

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“The way they look at Cloud. They stare at me in abject terror, and then their eyes always go to Cloud, all full of hope that he’ll save them. Then they grasp that he really isn’t intending to kill me, and look betrayed.”

“You’re afraid the public will turn on him.”

Sephiroth glanced at Cloud, only to see him looking at Zack with his mouth pressed in a thin line. 

“He would not handle it as well as I do.”

“I can tell you for a fact that he doesn’t enjoy their hero worship.”

“Perhaps, but I… do not want to imagine what would happen to his mental state, to be publicly vilified. He hates himself enough as it is, I do not need to see how he will be if that is reinforced by the public.”

There was a long enough pause that Sephiroth looked up, only to see Angeal watching him softly. 

“You should say that to the others. It’d set some minds at ease, to hear you care about his mental state.”

Sephiroth looked back at the rack, sliding a purple shirt by. 

“I am simply the only one allowed to ruin him that way.”

“Maybe, but you don’t even want to anymore.”

Sephiroth glanced at Angeal again. He looked smug this time. He scoffed and walked to another rack, his partners trailing behind him. 

“Walking away doesn’t make me wrong,” Angeal said, sidling up close enough to bump their shoulders together. Sephiroth glared at the black shirt he laid over his arm. 

“I don’t want to think about it.”

“That probably means you should.”

Sephiroth sighed impatiently before glancing at Cloud to make sure he was distracted with Zack. He was engaged in the conversation, but as ever, he felt Sephiroth’s gaze on him. He blinked once at Sephiroth when their eyes met, but then he looked back at Zack, answering in exasperation. 

“It makes me wonder how much of the impulse to hurt him was Mo—Jenova trying to keep me isolated. I still want to possess him, and it is insufferable to think of someone else hurting him, but I don’t… want to be that person anymore. Not to him.”

Angeal set a hand on his shoulder, and the teasing air gave way to sincerity. 

“That’s  _ good _ , Seph. That means this whole thing will work.”

Sephiroth grabbed a heather gray shirt this time. 

“It would have worked regardless. I won’t give him up.”

“It wouldn’t have. If you were more concerned with owning him than helping him, it would have turned toxic, and we would have stepped in.”

“He would have fought you to stay with me.”

“He wouldn’t have.”

“You didn’t know him when he was my pu—“ Sephiroth swallowed the word, knowing Cloud would be unable to ignore him using the word ‘puppet,’ “—when he was mine. When he was truly under my sway, he would have done anything for me. He found it impossible to stay away at the best of times. He would have fought you.”

“He’s said he fought you for his autonomy.”

“He tried. He often failed, in ways that he isn’t even aware of. You must understand, in the moments when he truly yielded, he was  _ blissful _ . I could feel his ecstasy, rippling back to me through our bond. He would have fought you.”

Angeal paused, looking considering. He glanced at Cloud, who didn’t respond to the weight of his gaze as he did Sephiroth’s. Cloud continued talking to Zack, apparently having moved on to discuss what types of shoes they thought Sephiroth might pick. He looked back to Sephiroth, who avoided eye contact. 

“Why didn’t you just take him, then?”

“Because he is not the only one I want. Because it would have made him distraught to lose you all.”

“You care much more than he knows.”

“I would like that to stay between us, thank you.”

“Why? He would be more vulnerable with you if he wasn’t worried about you turning on him.”

“Cloud may know me better than you, these days, and he may be my first concern, but I do not bare my throat to him. Vulnerability goes one way between us. You have seen me in such a state many times.”

“The whole point of this is that you have to change your relationship with him. Your old patterns won’t work anymore. He won’t hurt you with what you tell him.”

Sephiroth paused for a while, his hand resting on a hanger. Then he finally slid it to one side. 

“No, I expect he won’t. Which is foolish, considering what I’ve done.”

“Cloud is forgiving by nature.”

“Foolishly so.”

“You’re avoiding the point. Why don’t you want him to know how much you care?”

“I would be… put out, if he was aware and did not reciprocate, and while he is forgiving, I doubt he is to such an extent.”

“You’d be hurt if he didn’t feel the same way.”

Sephiroth pursed his lips. 

“If you feel you must phrase it that way.”

“I think you need to tell him. I think he’s going to be afraid to trust you fully until you’re vulnerable with him. If you take the risk first, he’ll feel safer. Show him you trust him, before asking for  _ his _ trust.”

“And if I don’t trust him?”

“You don’t trust anyone—and I don’t say that with judgement. You trusted Gen and I, and we betrayed it. You trusted Jenova, and she betrayed it. But you  _ know _ Cloud. Even when you and Jenova were affecting him, was he ever cruel? Or negligent? Or did he try to do right by everyone he could?”

Sephiroth paused, before grumbling, “He tries to do right by too many people.”

“He stretches himself thin, yes, but he’s always trying to help. He  _ cares _ . I’ve never met a man with a bigger heart, Sephiroth. There’s room in it for you, too.”

“Or maybe I’ll be the one person he can’t forgive. Maybe—maybe we should discuss this later.”

Angeal looked confused, then looked back to Zack and Cloud, only to see that their conversation had dwindled. Zack had his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Cloud just raised an eyebrow. Angeal sighed, knowing the conversation was over for now—there was no way Sephiroth would discuss the matter in front of Cloud if he wasn’t distracted. 

But he knew Sephiroth, and he knew he would consider his words. He might take his time doing so, but he would. And Angeal knew what conclusion he’d come to eventually; he’d never known Sephiroth to be a coward, after all. 

“Why are you even looking at that rack? It’s so bright it looks like Zack’s wardrobe,” Cloud drawled. 

“Hey!” Zack protested, but Sephiroth was glancing back at Cloud. 

Cloud clearly knew something was up. He had noticed the way they dropped their conversation as soon as he was paying attention. He noticed the way Sephiroth was stalling, when he was never usually one to waste time. 

He had plenty of experience reading Sephiroth’s body language, having used it as a tool in battle for any hint of what was coming next. He could see the tightness in his shoulders, the way his back was even straighter than usual. There was the faintest hint of tension in his brow, and the corner of his mouth was tilted slightly down. 

He was frustrated. He was distressed. He was confused, and really not happy about it. 

And, whatever had been said in the discussion that set him off, it had had to do with Cloud somehow. 

Sephiroth breezed away from the rack in a way that would have been convincingly nonchalant if Cloud wasn’t so attuned to his moods. 

As he went, he said, “I thought I should consider it, given that it seems to be where you’ve found all my existing clothes.”

Cloud didn’t react to the snipe beyond narrowing his eyes and frowning. It didn’t bode well that Sephiroth was taking cheap shots in response. Not when they both knew Cloud was aware something involving him had affected Sephiroth. He was covering something he didn’t want to admit to Cloud with barbed words. 

Cloud let it go. Sephiroth would tell him when he was ready. 

He let it go, but he didn’t let  _ him _ go. 

Cloud stepped away from Zack and slid into place at Sephiroth’s side at a duller colored rack. Cloud began picking through the rack as well. 

“I thought the purpose of this was for  _ me _ to pick my clothes.”

“I know how you dress.”

“You bought me everything in color, and have only seen me in my uniform before that.”

Cloud glanced up at him and tilted his head in curiosity. 

“So? I know  _ you _ .”

Sephiroth, dumbfounded, didn’t answer. Cloud began picking things off the rack and handing them to Sephiroth, who found them exactly to his tastes. He looked between the clothes and Cloud in confusion. 

“Just because I wanted to help you branch out doesn’t mean I don’t know what suits you. It means I wasn’t sure how much you had changed. Apparently not enough for that pink shirt, you haven’t worn it once.”

Sephiroth answered on autopilot, distracted and awed, saying, “It’s fluorescent pink, Cloud.”

Cloud smiled at him, just a hint of mischief on his face, as he said, “You made me 50 gil with that, you know. I bet Gen you wouldn’t wear it. He bet you’d throw it out.”

“He is the one with such dramatic tendencies.”

“Oh  _ please _ . After you said you wanted to ‘sail the cosmos with the husk of the planet’ you lost every right to say you’re not dramatic.”

“Ending the world requires  _ some _ drama. Highlighter pink shirts do not.”

Sephiroth’s awe faded as he argued with Cloud about what was a reasonable display of drama for various scenarios. Zack looked at Angeal, who had looped an arm around his shoulder, both confused and hopeful at the same time. Angeal only smiled down at him. 

Angeal couldn’t help but be proud of the way Cloud stepped in. He de-escalated Sephiroth’s rising emotions with an ease that surprised Angeal. Even he had never managed to do that so easily. For all that Sephiroth bottled his emotions, he was a fairly emotional person. Whenever Angeal had tried to head his growing turmoil off at the pass, it had taken time. The feelings always grew to dangerous levels before Angeal could whittle them away. 

Cloud had simply stepped in and stopped them in their tracks, easy as breathing. Angeal had seen him do that with Genesis when his control slipped, and Zack when he started to panic. Cloud had done it to him when he got too concerned, and he never even realized it until after the moment passed. 

For all that Cloud could be an emotional wreck himself when he got swept up in his insecurities, he was always able to put it aside when he saw that someone else needed help. Always the hero, even if he hated the word, he had the aching need to help whenever he could. At the slightest need, he was able to step into a sense of calm for someone who needed it. 

Angeal understood that this was a hard-won skill, born of years of depression and barely-managed trauma that had to be set aside, first to save the Planet, then to raise the children he cared for. Zack had insisted that, when he knew Cloud before, he had not been like this. He wasn’t able to simply summon a sense of steadiness. 

Of course, Angeal understood that it was sometimes a front. That Cloud was forcing himself to be calm because it was what someone else needed. But he also understood that even faking calm sometimes  _ did _ calm a person—it had happened to him many times. When Genesis had needed a rock, he’d stepped up to the challenge, regardless of his feelings. And, sometimes, the act was enough to impact his actual mood. 

Genesis had said, months ago, when Angeal was in the throes of his jealousy, that Cloud needed a rock, much as Genesis once did. That someone had to be the eye of his storm. And that remained true; Cloud needed help plenty of the time. He just always seemed able to help anyone who needed it, always putting his own needs second. 

He would be sure to take care of Cloud, once they had some privacy, and Sephiroth was settled. He would speak calmly and quietly to him and his rattled feelings, just the same way Cloud was doing for Sephiroth. Cloud would know what he was doing, and fuss about it, and insist he didn’t need help, that he was fine. But eventually he would let Angeal pull him into his lap and tuck his head beneath his chin. He would settle once he had a safe embrace to hide in. His breath would shake and his hands would make fists in Angeal’s shirt, but with time, he would relax, and likely fall asleep. 

If Cloud guessed at his plan when they shared a glance, Angeal didn’t say anything. He did notice the hint of pink on Cloud’s cheeks, though, and the way he went about affectionately bullying Sephiroth into the shoe aisle. 

After Cloud and Sephiroth had a brief argument that shockingly lacked any heat about the merits of various boot heights, they were done their shopping. 

Sephiroth remained pointedly close to Cloud as the cashier stared at them. Zack sighed heavily at the sight. 

“Savior, what…?” the cashier tried, only to let out a terrified squeak when Sephiroth snorted his derision. 

“They truly call you that?” Sephiroth asked, blatantly directing the question to Cloud, not finding the quivering man at the register worth his time. 

“Oh I do  _ not _ want to hear it from you,  _ Demon of Wutai _ .”

The cashier went about ringing them up with hands that shook. Sephiroth raised a cool eyebrow at him the second time the cashier fumbled an item. 

“Are they always so stunned by your presence?”

“It isn’t me, and it’d help if you at least  _ tried _ to loom less.”

“I always loom. It’s impossible not to, at my height.”

“I  _ know _ you can turn it off when you want to.”

“Hardly. It’s more than you forget to be intimidated by me occasionally.”

Zack leaned over to Angeal and whispered, “They're like an old married couple.”

Cloud leaned around Sephiroth to glare; his expression matched Sephiroth’s. 

The cashier interrupted to read the total to Cloud, but looked between him and Sephiroth in nervous confusion. He couldn’t tell if their quipping was well-meaning or antagonistic. 

Cloud paid, thanked the cashier, and then distributed the bags among them. It was only after they had been walking down the street for a few minutes that Sephiroth broke the silence. 

“I will be paying you back, when I’m able.”

“Cut it out, I said I’d take care of you until you’re on your feet. I paid for Zack and Angeal too at first.”

“Regardless. I will pay for them.”

“Consider them a gift.”

“No.”

“Then consider it cultural. Nibel folk take care of our own.”

“You understand that I burned Nibelheim. I doubt they would be interested in ‘taking care’ of me.”

“Yeah, I was there too, remember? Point is, when I say ‘me and mine,’ that includes you, now. Which means I will make sure you’re clothed and fed with a roof over your head until you can handle those things yourself.”

“Oh, is that all?” Sephiroth drawled, clearly finding this ridiculous. 

“You were the one that said  _ everyone _ needs help sometimes.”

“This is help, yes, but it is also a  _ loan _ .”

“It’s a gift, and if you try and pay me back, I’ll just send the money back to you. Every time you do it I’ll tack on an extra five gil. So if you don’t want handouts, don’t send the money back.”

“I can play that game as well as you can.”

“I have more money than you. I can do this indefinitely, and you’ll run out of money eventually. Stop being dramatic and accept the gift with some grace.”

Sephiroth scowled in that barely-there way of his until Cloud checked his shoulder into his. 

“If it makes you feel better,” Cloud added, “you’re on dish duty until you get a job.”

“You are insufferable.”

“Love you too.”

Sephiroth’s eyes cut to Cloud’s quickly. He had admitted to loving Sephiroth before, but had he ever said it so bluntly? Casually and quickly, with no thought, no special meaning behind it. Just simple sincerity. 

He glanced back at Angeal, who gave him a proud smile and a nod. 

Sephiroth turned back around and continued walking. 

The gawking of the crowds suddenly bothered him much less. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE MIND THE NEW TAG! It’s not relevant yet but will be happening eventually! I wanted to give you guys some heads up before we got there, in case this is a buzzkill for anyone! It will be done safe, sane, and consensually, with all parties enthusiastically agreeing to enter the arrangement. I understand this kink can bother some people, so if this is a deal breaker for you with this fic, I didn’t want to spring it with no warning when people are already invested. I would have warned sooner, but I don’t really start fics knowing where they’ll end up, so I’m letting you all know the first chance I’ve got now that I’ve figured out where this is going. I apologize if this is bummer for anyone, but I’m set on this direction. I would appreciate everyone remaining respectful about this. Thank you to everyone who has read along so far and thank you to everyone who plans on continuing to read! But please take care of yourselves, and if this direction will be upsetting, no hard feelings about not reading further!


	27. Chapter 27

It had been a little over a month, now, since Sephiroth had returned, and Cloud had made no real progress in coming to terms with his new situation. 

It made a certain amount of sense when you considered the turmoil of the house. Zack was endlessly anxious and hiding his suspicion poorly. Sephiroth was trying to process his past decisions in a new light while adjusting to the world all over again. Even Genesis and Angeal, who trusted Sephiroth more, occasionally watched him interact with Cloud much too closely, concerned about what might come out of their mouths. 

And Cloud had always had a nasty habit of putting himself second. With everyone else’s heightened emotions to deal with, it was easy to justify putting his own aside. The others needed him steady, so steady he would be. He would be as calm and collected as they needed. 

He had run off for that week, yes, but he had been doing just that: running. He avoided looking at his feelings then, too wrapped up in the feeling of the wind in his hair and the stretch of his muscles as he fought local monsters. And then he had returned, and it was right back to helping the others. 

It started to come out in small ways first. His hands, always so steady, took to trembling. Every time he slept, he was greeted by nightmares. It was making Genesis in particular watch him with concern, but that was just another distraction. He could focus on soothing Genesis instead of himself, and that was easier. 

He began to avoid sleep. He would lie curled up with his partner of the night and stare at the ceiling, so as to not wake them with his nightmares. If he had to see Meteor burn in the sky, or his sword swinging an inch from Aerith, or the black smudge of Geostigma on Denzel’s forehead, he was going to scream. 

Better not to sleep. 

He thought he was getting away with it too. Until he finished his fourth cup of coffee at noon and was still yawning. 

That was when Genesis grabbed him by the arm and said, “Up, now,” and dragged him, still stumbling, up the stairs. 

When they got to the bedroom, Cloud turned to face him with a scowl, just to be pushed in the chest. 

“ _ Bed _ , Cloud, now. I don’t want you leaving this room until you’ve had at least a few hours of sleep.”

Cloud winced. He hadn’t thought he was so obvious. 

“I’m  _ fine _ , Genesis, really.”

“Oh? And how many days has it been? Were you just going to let us be glad for your absent nightmares and not mention  _ why _ they were absent?”

Cloud frowned. 

“I didn’t want anyone to—“

“We’re  _ already worried,  _ Cloud. We have been since your constant nightmares began. Now go to  _ sleep _ .”

When Cloud opened his mouth to argue more, Genesis clicked his tongue impatiently. He swept Cloud off his feet and dropped him unceremoniously into bed before climbing in himself. 

“I’ll stay with you,” Genesis assured him. “I’ll be awake, so don’t worry about waking me with a nightmare. I’ll let the others know where we will be. Now  _ rest _ , love. I don’t like seeing you like this.”

Cloud sighed, but knew exactly how Genesis was when he had made up his mind. This was not an argument he was going to win, so he curled up into Genesis’s side and closed his eyes. Genesis wrapped an arm around his shoulders and held him close. 

The room was still and quiet. Cloud  _ was _ tired, but now his mind was racing. In the quiet nights when he’d been avoiding sleep, he had been carefully avoiding thinking about his own emotions. It had been plans for what to do next with Sephiroth, how to best improve the situation, what steps he could take next with his business to bring in enough to easily support them all. It had been strategizing. 

He was too tired, now, for strategizing. Now, he couldn’t ignore the way fear was lingering on the back of his tongue. What if he had read Sephiroth wrong, and he was just biding his time before another scheme? Would he try to make Cloud his puppet again? Would he have to become the Savior again? He wasn’t sure he’d survive it the third time. 

But it went deeper than his grandiose fears of the past. He couldn’t help but wonder about what would happen if Sephiroth had no murderous intent, but the relationship failed. The fear he had thought he buried, that the four of them might choose each other and leave him behind, rose up like a wave. 

Could he handle seeing Sephiroth look at him with dead eyes? No hatred, no love, no wild possessive need. Simple disinterest.  _ Boredom _ . It felt like a death sentence. He wasn’t sure he could survive  _ that _ . 

He had grown relatively certain that the others wouldn’t leave him, but Sephiroth’s presence changed everything. Cloud, of all people, knew how magnetic he could be. It was so  _ easy  _ to be a moon caught in that man’s gravity. Would the others be caught, much as he was? Would they follow him away from Cloud if he grew bored?

Was Cloud going to have the relationship he never even dared to dream of, just to lose it all?

“Cloud? Cloud, you’re hyperventilating. What’s wrong?”

Cloud couldn’t answer. His breath was too short. All he could do was cover his face to hide the tears stinging at his eyes. 

Genesis gently rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. He carefully peeled Cloud’s hands away, and their eyes met. Genesis, full of worry, Cloud, full of fear. Cloud’s hands turned to clutch at Genesis’s. 

“Wh-what if—“

“Breathe, Cloud, just breathe first.”

Genesis began counting in his most soothing tone. Cloud tried to match his frantic breaths to the pace. It was a long time before it worked. 

“What’s upset you, Cloud?”

Cloud answered in such a small voice, someone unenhanced would have missed it. He couldn’t meet Genesis’s eyes. 

“What if he gets bored of me? What if he takes you all with him?”

Genesis sat back on his heels, their hands still linked. Cloud glanced up just in time to see the heartbroken expression melt into a strategizing one. 

“I could tell you that won’t happen until I’m blue in the face, and you still wouldn’t believe me, would you? This is when Angeal and Zack returned all over again. You’re always so sure I’ll leave. That  _ we’ll _ leave, now.”

Cloud swallowed hard. He tried to blink them away, but a few tears trickled down his cheeks. 

“I still don’t know why you stayed,” he whispered. 

There was a pause before Genesis said, “Then we fix this how we always fix it. I show you that I love you terribly, and have no intention of ever letting you go.”

Genesis climbed off Cloud and out of the bed. He went to the closet and dug around before coming back with a few items, locking the door on his way. He dropped some on the bedspread by Cloud’s feet, but came back up to sit at Cloud’s hip. When he reached out, Cloud lifted his head so Genesis could wrap the cornflower and copper collar around his neck and fasten it. When it was attached, Genesis splayed his hand gently across Cloud’s throat, who let out a shaky breath. 

“Better?”

“Some.”

It was harder to deny Genesis’s investment with the collar around his neck. 

“I would ask you what you want, but I don’t think you’re thinking clearly right now. Do you trust me?”

Cloud gave a small smile. 

“Always.”

That he didn’t fully trust him to  _ stay _ was left unspoken. 

Genesis stripped him and arranged him so he was partially upright, supported by pillows. He then prompted Cloud to raise his hands above his head and affixed them to the headboard with a pair of leather cuffs that matched his collar. He then reached down to the foot of the bed for the other item he had brought, and Cloud groaned.

“ _ Gen _ —”

“Trust me, Cloud.”

Cloud sighed, but spread his legs regardless. Genesis shifted into the space left and went about attaching the blue, silicone cock cage to Cloud. It was  _ not _ Cloud’s favorite toy, and something they used very rarely. It was always a reminder that the choice was not in Cloud’s hands, which was the only thing he appreciated about it. The effects were not his favorite, but the reminder that, at least in this moment, he was wholly  _ Genesis’s _ always helped.

Genesis leaned over to the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube. He didn’t bother undressing, knowing how much Cloud liked him to remain clothed, but spread the lube across his fingers. He circled one around Cloud’s hole, whose breath quivered.

They looked at each other, gaze heavy with understanding. This was going to be nowhere near enough. It would be sweet torture, until Genesis decided to relent, or until Cloud begged well enough for his liking. Genesis raised an eyebrow—one last check in before he took this entirely out of Cloud’s hands. Cloud nodded.

He slipped a finger inside Cloud, moving slowly and shallowly. He shifted, lifting one of Cloud’s legs over his shoulder. He dipped his head to kiss his inner thigh before running his tongue over it. Cloud shivered, but kept quiet. When he got at his worst, he always tried to remain that way, afraid that any sound might drive his partner off. It wasn’t a good sign that he was silent.

After a few more kisses, Genesis sank his teeth into the tender skin of his inner thigh. Cloud hissed in a sharp breath before biting his lip, fighting to keep quiet again. Genesis pressed a second finger into him as he ran his tongue soothingly over his bite.

This was quiet for Genesis, as well. He usually spoke often, praising Cloud or calling him names he had agreed to in turns, checking in with him, asking him questions to listen to his voice crack. 

When Genesis glanced up at him, Cloud’s expression was questioning. Unsure of what Genesis was doing, but not asking questions—he trusted him, after all. Genesis hummed quietly and returned his attention to Cloud’s thigh, not addressing the silent inquiry. 

They continued on like this. With so little stimulation, everything he was given felt like more. Genesis’s mouth and tongue on him felt impossibly sweet, but his teeth felt even better. His fingers were nothing more than a tease, only rarely bothering to try for his prostate.

Cloud kept assuring himself that it wouldn’t be for forever. Genesis would move on eventually, do or say something else with just some time. But the moment kept stretching, and nothing was changing except Cloud. 

Cloud, who was losing the battle with his self-control. It started with small, audible breaths, sharply pulled in or blown quickly out. Then he started shifting. Then he was squirming. Then there were little whimpers, small, occasional whines. Then there was moaning, with growing frequency.

Finally there was, “ _ Please _ , sir.”

“There he is,” Genesis hummed into the now-mottled skin of his thigh. “Please what, pet?”

“ _ Anything _ , sir, please, just—more?”

Genesis hummed, and this time, when he bit, it was hard enough to draw blood. Cloud cried out sharply, his back arching, but he was shivering in pleasure when he relaxed again.

“Is that what you wanted?” Genesis asked. “Or maybe…”

He thrust his hand forward, rough and fast, making Cloud gasp. He curled his fingers over his prostate, rubbing at it relentlessly now. The moan Cloud gave was broken.

“Yes, sir, thank you,  _ thank you _ .”

“Do you remember who you belong to now, Cloud?”

“ _ You _ , sir.”

“By name.”

“You,  _ Genesis _ .”

Cloud whimpered, his head tossing back. This was what he needed. This was  _ exactly  _ what he needed, to be reminded of the truth behind everything he was starting to doubt, in a way he couldn’t ignore. It was hard to feel like anyone else’s, with Genesis so completely in control of him like this.

“Very good. And who else?”

“A-Angeal. Za- _ ack _ .” 

God, he felt good. He felt on fire, in the best way. He wished the cage was gone, but the inherent submission in wearing it felt  _ perfect _ like this.

“Excellent. And what do we do with our things, Cloud?”

Cloud swallowed hard.

“Take care of them?”

“Always, yes. What else?”

Cloud licked his lips. He didn’t answer immediately, despite knowing what Genesis wanted him to say. He slanted open his eyes to look down at Genesis, who was watching him intently. He curled his fingers purposefully over Cloud’s prostate to make him shudder.

Genesis’s voice was gentle when he pressed, “What else, Cloud?”

“You… keep them.”

Genesis shifted, Cloud’s leg still over his shoulder, to lean up and kiss him tenderly.

“Until death finally parts us,” Genesis promised against his lips. “And not a moment sooner.”

The breath Cloud pulled in shook. He didn’t bother trying to blink away the tears when they came, this time. When Genesis pulled far enough away for them too look at each other, Cloud did so with watery eyes.

“Please, Genesis, I need you,” he whispered.

Genesis kissed his tears away.

“And I will always be here when you need me.”

Genesis pulled his fingers free and undid the cage, pulling it from Cloud and tossing it to the side. Cloud whimpered when he stroked him slowly. Then he pulled away entirely to shuck off his clothes as quickly as he could. He grabbed the lube off the nightstand to slick himself quickly before sliding back into place between Cloud’s legs, who locked them around his hips. 

“Please,  _ please _ —”

“Hush, love.”

And that was something Genesis did only rarely. The endearments he used outside the bedroom almost always stayed there. When Cloud was submitting this way, he was almost always “pet.” Occasionally, when Genesis had a point to prove, he was “Cloud.” It was only when Cloud was at his weakest that Genesis brought in endearments, and then it was always “love.” It was something special, almost sacred, for when Cloud needed to feel both helpless and cared for, when he needed to be reminded in a bone-deep way that he  _ was _ loved. 

Cloud whimpered for the name, his brows pinching. He tried to draw Genesis closer with his legs. 

Genesis lined himself up, and when he was barely pressed in, he moved his hands. He wrapped his hands around Cloud’s still-cuffed wrists, pinning them to the headboard. A sign of lingering domination, that he was still the one in control despite any tenderness, or perhaps because of it. 

He pressed inside slowly and Cloud whined low in his throat, his head tossing back. He didn’t try to force Genesis to be faster—this wasn’t about what Cloud wanted right now. It was about what he  _ needed _ , and Genesis was always better at assessing that than Cloud was. 

Genesis continued to move slowly, languidly, but it was less about teasing and more about gentleness. It was about proving to Cloud that he would care for him, in any way necessary. Sometimes that meant fucking him into the mattress and spanking him until he cried. Sometimes that meant slow, sweet rolls of his hips, moving in and out of him inexorably, like the tide against the shore. 

Cloud was getting the point, finally, and it was overwhelming. His nerves and his heart both felt alight. He was gripping the headboard for something, anything to hold onto. He was nowhere near as quiet as he was when he began; he couldn’t stop keening and mewling in turns. The tears that fell down his cheeks now were less distressed and more a sign of how overflowing his heart felt. 

When Genesis finally took him in hand, he started to babble.

“Gen-esis, Gen, _Gen_ _please_ , oh gods, _yes, please_ , I love you, dear Gaia I love you, _I love you_ — _ah!_ ”

Cloud spilled into Genesis’s palm and across both their chests. His whole body shook with the force of it, and he could only distantly hear Genesis blow out an unsteady breath at the way he tightened around him. 

Genesis gripped his hip, uncaring for the mess he smeared there, and began to move faster. 

“Always,” Genesis promised. “My heart will be yours always.”

He then leaned down and pressed their mouths together desperately. Cloud, tired and blissed out now, kissed back sloppily, but with as much feeling as Genesis pressed to his own lips. He could feel the way tension built in Genesis and wished his hands were free to hold him, but even if he wanted to rip the cuffs away, Genesis was still holding him in place with one hand. 

Still, it wasn’t long before Genesis followed him over the edge. His grip grew to bruising around Cloud’s wrist as he came, but then went slack and light. Still breathing hard, he leaned down to kiss Cloud again, more sedately this time. When he pulled away, they looked at each other, catching their breaths. 

Genesis used his clean hand to wipe away the remaining tears on Cloud’s face.

“There is only so much reassuring I can do on Sephiroth’s behalf,” he muttered. “We’re all still learning who he is now, and I won’t promise you forever with him when I don’t know with certainty that he’ll follow through. But I know myself. I know Zack and Angeal. No matter what happens with Sephiroth, you’ll always have us.”

Cloud smiled slowly, and it was much steadier this time.

“Thank you, Gen. I think I—I believe you. And you know you’ll always have me, right?”

Genesis returned his smile, growing as slowly as Cloud’s had, as slow and impossible to stop as the dawn.

“Until Gaia herself crumbles around us. I don’t know many things, Cloud, but I know that the four of us won’t be parting any time soon.”

Cloud opened his mouth to say something, but it got swallowed in a yawn that took him by surprise. Genesis blinked, then laughed as Cloud looked sheepish. He finally pulled out of Cloud and reached for the tissues on the bedside to go about some attempt at cleaning them up.

“Rest now, Cloud,” Genesis insisted. “We’ll all be here when you wake.”

Cloud was asleep before Genesis finished wiping him clean.

This time, he didn’t dream at all. 


	28. Chapter 28

Cloud was suspicious. 

Genesis didn’t mention his meltdown after it had happened. Cloud had slept peacefully in his fucked-out state, and continued to sleep peacefully in the nights that followed. It was not the absent nightmares he was suspicious about. 

It was Sephiroth. 

In particular, it was what Genesis might have told Sephiroth to make him watch Cloud like  _ that _ . Every quiet moment had Sephiroth staring intently at Cloud. Every not-so-quiet moment had him glancing over as often as he could. Cloud could always feel the weight of those eyes on him, and he was feeling that pressure far too often to be normal. And it all started right after his meltdown. 

He was  _ damn _ suspicious. 

He tried, a few times, to ask Genesis if he had mentioned it to anyone. Every time, he answered only in vagueries. 

“Now why would I do that?”

“Should I have?”

“Relax, darling.”

Genesis danced around the question, which didn’t say anything good. He could be verbose and poetic when he wanted to be, wielding his silver tongue as a weapon, but rarely did so without cause. Sometimes that cause was something as simple as the desire to be annoying. More often it was something Genesis took seriously. 

He definitely snitched. 

Cloud felt like he was walking on eggshells after he figured it out. Because he knew Sephiroth wouldn’t know how to leave it alone. He expected Genesis had told him to reassure him somehow. Only, he doubted whatever would come out of him would be reassuring at all. He didn’t need or want to be reassured at the moment. He was secure (for now) in the knowledge that at least Genesis, Angeal, and Zack would stay. That was enough for him. He didn’t want to hear whatever Sephiroth had to say. 

But it was clear he was going to. 

Everyone else was at work. It was just Cloud and Sephiroth in the townhouse, with no watchful eyes making sure Sephiroth behaved, or that Cloud didn’t cave, or that they didn’t fall back into old patterns. 

Sephiroth gave it about an hour and a half. He didn’t want to get into it the second they were alone, and they had hours before the others would return. But he was starting to realize that Cloud was only winding himself up tighter and tighter, like a spring that desperately needed to be let go. Better to stop waiting. 

So Sephiroth approached Cloud, who was leaning against the counter with his coffee. He plucked the mug from his hand and, ignoring Cloud’s, “Hey!”, put the coffee on the counter. 

When he cupped Cloud’s face, the blond went perfectly still. He didn’t even seem to be breathing. 

He had been biding his time, with Cloud. It had seemed wise to wait, to keep his hands and words to himself, after that afternoon the first day. He had yet to sleep next to Cloud. He minded his mouth, and did not reach out to touch when it wasn’t necessary. But, if it had led Cloud to believe he was disinterested, it was time for that to change. 

Sephiroth dragged his fingers down Cloud’s cheek and chin until they were brushing his throat. He doubted Cloud even realized the way he tilted his head back to allow the gesture. He twisted his hand, fitting it around Cloud’s throat in a firm grip. 

He could see Cloud’s fight-or-flight instinct rise. They were too used to fighting one another for gestures such as these. He was able to watch Cloud make the conscious decision to trust him, to let this happen and neither fight nor run. His breath was coming a little quicker, and there was a pucker between his eyebrows now, but he remained relatively calm. 

Sephiroth uses his grip to turn Cloud. He pushed him back, back, back, leading him to the kitchen wall where he pinned him. Cloud could still fight him, if he wanted, but Sephiroth had always had the advantage in brute strength. Cloud survived by being too fast to be put in this position. Not that that simple fact would stop Cloud from lashing out if he wanted to. He was just opting not to. Yet. 

“It seems I’ve been neglectful,” Sephiroth said, glancing down at his hand around Cloud’s throat. 

“I’m not your responsibility.”

Sephiroth met his eyes again. 

“You are. You have been for years. I admit my methods were crude before, and at times cruel, but I have always tried to meet your needs.”

“Forcing me to submit doesn’t do that.”

“It did. You were at peace every time you yielded to me. But that isn’t the point, at the moment.”

“Then what is?”

“That, somehow, I have led you to believe that I am disinterested.”

“I don’t know what Genesis told you, but I never said that.”

“Then let me rephrase. I have led you to believe that I may become disinterested.”

“... You might.”

Sephiroth tilted his head. His hand tightened just barely as he leaned closer, the curtain of his hair isolating them. 

“I never will. The cosmos will crumble before I consider letting you go. Did you forget what I first said, while discussing this relationship? You are the only non-negotiable part of this.”

Cloud swallowed hard. 

“That could change.”

“ _ Cloud _ . I understand that your sense of self-worth is lacking, but it does not matter to me, what you think of yourself. I  _ will not _ be parted from you.”

“... But—“

Sephiroth leaned close, pressing their foreheads together. His hand tightened further in warning. 

“Cloud Strife, you are  _ mine _ . My adversary, my  _ murderer _ . My only equal. One day soon, my lover. I may be willing to share with the others by virtue of the history we share, and the sentiment behind it, but make no mistake. Should you attempt to leave with them, I will end them. I will end  _ you _ before I lose you. 

“There is no negotiating this. It is not up for debate. I would prefer you choose to be mine, but that is optional. I cannot imagine how it ever crossed your mind that I might let you go. Either you have always misunderstood the all-consuming need I have to possess you, to love you until it breaks us both, or you have somehow forgotten.”

There was a long pause, where neither said or did anything. Then, suddenly, Cloud sagged in relief, like a puppet with its strings cut. He clutched at Sephiroth’s shirt as his head dipped. His breath was growing ragged. 

Sephiroth kissed his temple, and felt Cloud shiver. 

“There, you see?” Sephiroth said. “This is what you need.”

“Shut up,” Cloud said, but the protest was weak. “I just… it’s hard to believe you’re invested, when you aren’t acting like you used to.”

“That is the point of this, Cloud. I am  _ trying _ to learn to treat you kindly. Respectfully. But that does not mean my interest has waned. Only that I intend to be a better owner to you.”

“You don’t own me.”

“I do. I simply share you, now.”

“You  _ don’t _ —“

“Cloud, why bother? It’s only us here. I know what you need. In your gut, where your brain isn’t confusing you with ‘should’s, you do as well.”

Cloud paused for a long, long moment; Sephiroth allowed him this time. 

He finally pulled in a trembling breath and said, quietly, “The others won’t like it.”

“They will come to terms with it. I suspect Genesis knows already. Zack and Angeal will need time, but when it becomes clear that this is a greater need than they understood, they will relent. They love you, Cloud. Your needs matter to them.”

Cloud shook his head. His hands tightened in Sephiroth’s shirt. The weight of his hand around his throat felt so comforting, somehow. Almost like the weight of his collar. 

“What would this even  _ mean _ , if it’s not what we used to do?”

“It means much of what it used to, only that I will listen to you, now. Before, I attempted to meet your needs while focusing primarily on my machinations. It is only your needs left, now. You will have a voice, and what you ask for will be considered.”

“And if I tell you no about something?”

“I will consider it. If it is in your best interest for me to ignore your protests, I will ignore them, but otherwise, it will be respected.”

“About what though?”

“Consider it like when you weren’t sleeping. Genesis did not ask you to go rest and allow you to protest. He told you what you would do, and dragged you upstairs. You neglect your needs habitually, Cloud. You need someone to force your hand into caring for yourself.”

“I… I don’t know.”

Sephiroth finally loosened his grip, his fingers light on Cloud’s throat now. He pulled far enough away to look at Cloud, but the blond’s head was dipped. He took his chin between his thumb and curled index finger, raising it gently until Cloud looked at him. 

“I understand the concept of restraint better than I once did, Cloud. If ownership as we have previously done it is too much for you, say so, and we’ll find another way to make this work. But, if you allow it, I  _ want _ to keep you—until you say otherwise, you remain mine. I have no intention of letting you go completely, and if it was solely my decision, my ownership would stand. That does not mean I will force you into this. New patterns, yes?”

Cloud looked up at Sephiroth with wide eyes. Because this was exactly what he needed. He needed Sephiroth’s all-consuming desire, to be the very center of the vortex that had once almost doomed the whole planet. But he also needed a choice. He needed to walk into the arms that could crush him of his own accord. If he was going to have his hand in the lion’s mouth, he had to press his fingers to fangs voluntarily. 

Cloud surged up, taking Sephiroth’s face between his palms, finally kissing him after so long. It was simple, just two mouths against one another, but done with such  _ feeling _ behind the motion. Until Sephiroth kissed his mouth open—then Cloud was rocking back on his heels, pulling Sephiroth down with him. It was searing, and Cloud thought his tongue might burn the inside of his mouth from the simple emotion behind the kiss. Only, it didn’t burn, it just felt profoundly  _ right _ . Like this was how things were always meant to end up. 

He wondered, briefly, if maybe it was. He wondered if  _ this _ was why Gaia had sent Sephiroth back. 

He decided he didn’t care about the whys or why nots. He only cared about Sephiroth’s mouth against his own. 

By the time they parted, Cloud had both his hands buried in Sephiroth’s hair and Sephiroth had one hand curled around Cloud’s neck, the other framing his face. Neither moved their hands as they pulled back to look at one another. 

“Together,” Cloud whispered. “We figure this out together.”

A slow smile curled on Sephiroth’s lips, and it was deeply unfamiliar—it wasn’t sinister at all. Only content. Cloud found himself hopelessly charmed. 

“Together, then.”


	29. Chapter 29

Cloud had been very much soothed by his conversation with Sephiroth. When the others trickled in, they found the two curled up on the couch together. Cloud had his legs over Sephiroth’s lap, one arm around his waist, and his face hiding in Sephiroth’s neck. Sephiroth had one arm around his shoulders, his free hand holding Cloud’s legs in place, his face buried in blond hair. Every time someone came home, Sephiroth tilted his face enough to look up at them, and Cloud just let out a heavily muffled, “Hey.”

Genesis took this in stride, a look of pride on his face as he took them in. He smiled at them and settled in the armchair across from the loveseat they were on. 

Angeal paused when he saw them. He looked at them slowly, taking in their position, and the possessive look in Sephiroth’s eyes and pose. But Cloud seemed happy where he was, so he let it be. He took a spot on the empty couch. 

Zack took it both better and worse than expected. He had stopped dead in his tracks at the sight, and his hand had moved up to a sword he was not wearing on instinct as Sephiroth’s gaze dared him to protest. But then he looked closer and saw that the usual line of tension in Cloud’s shoulders, the one that only disappeared in Aerith’s church, was absent. He looked almost boneless, he was so relaxed. 

When he fully understood what he was seeing, he relaxed more than he had since Sephiroth returned. His suspicion left him in a sudden flood. Because apparently Sephiroth could be trusted with Cloud, and if that was true, he could be trusted in general. He sat next to Angeal and leaned into his side in a display of affection he had largely been avoiding doing in front of Sephiroth. The man only looked appraising as he watched Zack, before turning his face into Cloud’s hair again. 

Cloud didn’t leave his side for the rest of the day. He slept curled into Sephiroth’s side that night, and strangely enough, had no nightmares. He felt more rested in the morning than he had in quite a while. 

Cloud had been soothed on the issue of Sephiroth’s interest in him. It was the question of ownership that had him spacey, absent-minded, and fretting the second he remembered it. 

Because Sephiroth had made a good point. Genesis had ordered him casually and made the choice about sleeping for him. He hadn’t even realized that he was being ordered around outside scenes, but he was. 

Genesis did it casually, all the time. Angeal took wooden spoons from him and told him he wasn’t allowed to cook while exhausted. Zack phrased things like a suggestion, but often steered Cloud into complying regardless of what his answer had been. 

He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Because it seemed wrong, somehow. He was an adult. He was supposed to be independent. He should be able to meet his own needs. He shouldn’t need to be ordered into taking care of himself. He shouldn’t be so content when the choice was taken out of his hands. 

But Sephiroth had said the ‘should’s were confusing him, so he tried his best to set them aside for a while. He tried to put aside all the times he had been called a hero, and the image that conjured, and all the value judgments that went with it. 

If he disregarded what he was ‘supposed to’ do and want, it was all very simple, really. Because he  _ did _ like being told what to do. He liked yielding his choice to people he trusted. He liked being taken care of, and he liked not always being the strong one, for a change. 

It was all very improper. Cloud’s sense of propriety, born in Nibelheim and strengthened every time someone looked at him and saw a savior, was outraged. This was not how a man in his position behaved. This was not what he was supposed to want. 

But after Sephiroth had so bluntly pointed out to him that he  _ did _ , it was impossible to unsee the truth. He  _ did _ want these things. He ached for them. Now that the possibility had been presented, he yearned for it. He wanted to knowingly and deliberately give what was left of his control over to his partners. He wanted to put the last say in their hands. For all their casual ordering, it had never been anything serious, and Cloud  _ wanted  _ it to be. 

Cloud wanted it, so bad it almost hurt, and he was deeply, deeply ashamed of this fact. 

He had always known he wasn’t a real

hero, like the public called him, but it stung to fall so short of that standard. It tasted like failure on his tongue. 

He tried to reason with himself. That his private life was no business of the public’s. That he had never liked being called ‘hero’ anyway. That this was how to perfectly meet Sephiroth halfway and make the relationship not only function but flourish. 

He tried to reason with himself, but it didn’t work. It all sounded like excuses to his ears. 

All the progress he had made that afternoon and night slipped through his fingers. He pulled away, not just from Sephiroth, but from them all. He was spiraling in the shame and guilt. He was intimately familiar with the feeling of weakness, of failure, of not being good enough, but it rarely consumed him this way. 

They allowed him to pull away, despite not knowing why, but drew the line when his self-care started to slip. He wasn’t eating or drinking enough. He could barely sleep. He insisted on doing everything around the house, all the cooking and cleaning, trying to keep his hands busy to distract his mind. 

It didn’t help that their usual method of correcting these patterns was failing. They tried to order him into self-care, and he told them no with such force that they were startled into listening. He didn’t bother with excuses about not being tired or hungry or about being bored and wanting a task. He told them no, and to back off, and that it wasn’t any of their business. 

When Genesis attempted to drag him to bed, he tore his arm away and shoulder checked him out of the way. When it turned into a grapple, he took it much more seriously than he ever would have before, not holding back and therefore pinning Genesis to the floor. 

When food or water was placed in front of him, he got up and put it away or threw it out. When Angeal tried to hold him in the chair, he broke his grip and walked away. When Zack tried, he swatted the sandwich off the table, shattering the plate and scattering the meal. 

Sephiroth simply watched, his gaze knowing and heavy. He did not say a word. 

More than once, Cloud had overheard them talking about his behavior with concern. He eavesdropped long enough to know that Sephiroth would not explain why he was acting out, only saying that the conversation was between him and Cloud. He had insisted that they give him time, that he would work through it on his own. 

Cloud was not working through it on his own. The more he thought about what he wanted, the more he caught himself daydreaming, the more ashamed he felt. He was nauseous from it more often than not. He was overcome with the urge to run, to hide, but he didn’t want to leave Sephiroth home alone, and he couldn’t go out without Cloud. Nevermind that he was rotten company like this—it was better than nothing. 

Until one day, Sephiroth grew tired of waiting. While the others were out, they ended up much as they had before: Sephiroth pinning Cloud to the wall by his throat. 

Only this time, Cloud fought. He did his damndest to pry Sephiroth away, striking him repeatedly to try and weaken his grip, but Sephiroth would not budge. He bore it all calmly, until Cloud finally relented. He hung his head, his hands dropping from where his fingers were trying to dig in beneath Sephiroth’s. 

“I did not point out what you want so you could throw a tantrum about it.”

“I’m  _ not—“ _

“You  _ are _ , and you are worrying everyone. You are losing weight, and the bags beneath your eyes could not be worse if I blacked them. I do not like seeing you like this, and you are allowing no one to help.”

“I don’t  _ want _ help.”

“You do.”

“I—I  _ shouldn’t _ —“

“Is that what this is about? Haven’t I already spoken to you about ‘should’s?”

“It isn’t that  _ simple _ , I can’t just  _ turn it off _ . I just… you’re right, and you shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t be like… this. It’s fucked up.  _ I’m _ fucked up.”

“We are all fucked up. Everyone member of this relationship has been put through some form of hell, and it has left scars on us all. Do those scars bother you on others?”

“No, but the whole world doesn’t see you all as their  _ Savior _ .”

“They did, once. I have been in your shoes, Cloud, fresh from trauma but idolized by the world. Holding on by my fingertips, trying to fit the mold carved for me. You saw the results of attempting that without a support system. You were forced to clean up my mess.”

Cloud looked up at him, his brows pinched. Because that was a strange admission, from Sephiroth. He’d never made himself vulnerable in front of Cloud before. He just didn’t admit to weakness this way. It tore the rug out from under Cloud, who just stared at him. 

“We need what we need, Cloud. I needed Genesis and Angeal to cope with what I found in that library, and they weren’t there. I would have listened to them, if they had been, and maybe things would have been different. 

“But we are all here for  _ you _ , Cloud. We want to help however we can, and you’ve seen that we are all open to this task.  _ I _ want this as much as you do. If you aren’t inclined to indulge yourself, consider indulging us.”

Cloud stared up at him, and this time, Sephiroth allowed the silence to hang. They watched each other, Sephiroth with implacable calm, Cloud with barely constrained desperation. 

The answer he finally came up with was, “I need to think.”

The corners of Sephiroth’s mouth turned down. 

“You’ve been thinking—that has been the problem.”

“No, I—I need to get out of my own head. I need to talk to someone not involved in this relationship.”

Sephiroth frowned outright this time. 

“You know what your friends will say. They do not trust me, especially not with your care.”

“Tifa will listen, once I explain. Just let me give it a shot.”

Slowly, clearly reluctantly, Sephiroth withdrew his hand from Cloud’s throat, though he did not step away. 

“If she starts talking about ‘should’s, come home. What you ‘should’ do and want is irrelevant to the conversation. If that is the crux of her argument, stop listening.”

Cloud paused, but nodded. He slipped away from Sephiroth, making a bee-line to the back door. 

“I’ll try not to take too long. Tell the others where I am if they ask.”

“Take the time you need, but remember when to walk away.”

“Right,” Cloud mumbled, heading out the back door. He flung himself onto Fenrir and was off in a blink. 

The trip to Seventh Heaven was a blur. One moment he was turning the key, the next he was coming in the back door to the bar. 

When he came from the back to behind the bar, Genesis looked at him immediately. Cloud hadn’t forgotten that he would be here, as everyone was at work, but he had hoped he wouldn’t notice. He nodded once at Genesis, whose brow furrowed, but made his way to Tifa instead. 

He set a hand on her arm as she was mixing a drink, and she looked over at him. She started to say his name, excited to see him, but the joy quickly faded to worry. Her brow furrowed, much like Genesis’s. Cloud swallowed hard. 

“Gen, take over,” she called, pouring the drink she was working on and sliding it to the patron in question. Cloud turned and made his way to the back kitchen, knowing she would follow. 

He was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at his hands when she arrived. 

“I don’t like that look in your eye. What did he do?”

He should have known she’d blame Sephiroth. 

“Nothing, he just—he told me a truth I didn’t want to hear. I don’t know what to do about it.”

Tifa paused, but came to sit across from him at the table. 

“Okay, then. What did he tell you?”

“He… you remember, in the Northern Crater, when I gave him the Black Materia?”

“Of course I remember.”

“I never mentioned it, because I was… ashamed. But Tifa, nothing has ever felt so good. It was… it was bliss. I fought so hard, but the second it was clear I wouldn’t win, it was—it was amazing.”

He swallowed hard and didn’t look up at her. The moment stretched. 

“Because of the J-cells, right?”

Cloud laughed weakly. 

“No. Because I’m fucked up and like when I don’t have a choice.”

“You’re  _ not _ fucked up. What do you mean, when you don’t have a choice?”

“Y’know when I get bad, and Gen ‘fucks me good’ and suddenly I’m okay again?”

“Yeah.” She sounded hesitant. 

“We… we do BDSM. Sometimes I just need someone else to be in control. All I seem to do is fuck up, so when I let someone I trust make the decisions for me, it feels… beyond good. Like a mini version of giving the Black Materia up.”

“... Okay. But it helps, right? You always seem better after.”

“Because I  _ do _ feel better after.”

“No harm in whatever you get up to in the bedroom, Cloud, as long as everyone’s enjoying it and you all agree on it.”

“That’s the problem, Tifa. What Sephiroth told me is that I want that  _ outside _ the bedroom, too. And he’s right. I do.”

“... What does that even mean?”

“Like… you know when I’m here, and I clearly haven’t been sleeping, and Gen or Angeal or Zack tells me to go home and sleep? They never ask, because they know I’ll say no if they do. They just tell me to do it, and will drag me home if they have to. They don’t let me make the choice, because I’ll make the wrong one, and I’m so used to listening to them in the bedroom that I don’t fight. I just do it. Like that.”

“Then you already have it outside the bedroom. What’s the problem here?”

“I want more. I don’t want them to wait until things are bad. I want them to call the shots, with the understanding that I’ve already agreed to listen to them. I don’t want them to take control from me when they have to; I want to give my control up to them, and not have to keep taking it back. I don’t want it, Tifa, and the choice is safer in their hands.”

“I’ll admit, that’s unorthodox, Cloud. You’re sure Sephiroth didn’t plant this idea in your head because he wants to be all possessive again?”

“The problem is, I  _ like _ when he’s possessive. It makes me feel… loved. Like I don’t have to worry he’ll leave one day.”

“Are you thinking of doing this  _ so _ he won’t leave?”

“No, he’s already said that if I don’t want it, he’ll settle for what I can give him.”

“Alright. So he’s on board. You’re on board. Have you talked to the others?”

Cloud picked idly at his gloves. 

“No, I—I’ve been fighting the whole idea since Sephiroth brought it up. I don’t want to mention it until I’m sure what I want.”

“It sounds like you know what you want, so what’s the problem?”

“I  _ shouldn’t  _ want it. I should be able to make my own decisions, I shouldn’t like being told what to do, I should be able to be in control all the time. I should be able to take care of myself. I’d fall  _ really _ short of the hero bar, if I did this.”

Tifa sighed then. 

“For Gaia’s sake, Cloud—who gives a shit?”

“The public would.”

“The public can fuck off. It’s  _ your _ life, live it for  _ yourself _ , not for strangers.”

“... He said I should stop worrying about ‘should’s.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying it, but Sephiroth’s right on this one. Look, Cloud, I’ll admit I don’t like the idea of you giving up control to  _ him _ . But I trust the other three to keep things reasonable. If he starts doing things to hurt you, or stops respecting you, they’ll step in.”

Cloud finally, finally peeked up at her.

“Are you actually okay with this?”

“If a few hours without control can pull you out of a spiral, then I can only imagine how this might help. Maybe you won’t spiral at all anymore. At least you’ll finally be taken care of, to someone’s standards that aren’t your own.”

Cloud’s brow pinched. 

“But isn’t the whole thing just a—a big sign of weakness? That I’m a failure? I can’t even be a regular adult right.”

“I repeat: who gives a shit? No, it’s not what most adults do, but why does that matter? We can’t choose our needs, Cloud. Most adults don’t need to cuss the way Cid does, or steal the way Yuffie does. It’s not normal that I can’t feel even-keel without beating the shit out of something at least once a week, even if it’s just boxing equipment. 

“I think every adult has ‘weird’ needs, they’re just always different.  _ That’s _ normal. Part of  _ being  _ an adult is accepting those needs and working with them. It’s just a need to be cared for, like eating and drinking and sleeping. There’s no value judgement to place on it. It isn’t good or bad. It just is. If you’ve found a way to take care of it healthily, then I don’t see the harm.”

Cloud blinked. Because that made sense, in a way. It made a lot of sense. He could be okay with that. 

“We’d talk about it, first,” Cloud assured. “Negotiate, and set terms, and make sure we set it up in a way that works for everyone. And if anyone doesn’t want to participate, they don’t have to. Sephiroth is up for it, at least. And, like you said, even if they aren’t participating, the others can make sure we’re still being healthy.”

Tifa smiled at him and said, “That sounds smart. Between the lot of you, you’ll make it work.”

Cloud smiled, for the first time since the idea had wormed its way under his skin. She smiled back, and when he stood, she followed. Cloud hugged her tight, and found her returning the embrace. 

“Thank you,” Cloud muttered. “I can always trust you to talk sense into me.”

“My pleasure, Cloud. I just want you happy, that’s all.” When they pulled away, she continued, “Talk to the others. Try not to freak out. Figure out your pitch before you sit them down. Tell me what you settle on, so I know what I’m dealing with, with you lot.”

Cloud kissed her cheek and said, “I promise.”

Tifa smiled up at him, then patted his arm. 

“Go say goodbye to Genesis—I’m sure he’s been freaking out since we came back here.”

Cloud sighed but led the way to the front of the bar. Tifa trailed after him, and got back to work as Cloud went over to Genesis, who immediately excused himself from the conversation he was having with a customer. 

“What’s wrong, are you alright?” Genesis asked, looking him over. 

Cloud smiled, and some of the tension dropped out of Genesis’s shoulders. 

“I’m better. By a lot. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting—I’ll explain everything tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright,” Genesis said, both relieved and wary, but mostly relieved. “I could stay up after my shift tonight to talk, if you wanted.”

Cloud shook his head and said, “I think I’m going to go home and sleep.”

“Oh thank the goddess, she did talk sense into you.”

Cloud laughed quietly, and leaned up to kiss him. 

“I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Tomorrow, then. I love you too, dearest. Rest well.”

Cloud smiled, nodded, and headed out the back, touching Tifa’s shoulder as he went. 

When he returned home, it was to find Sephiroth sitting on the couch with one of Genesis’s many books. He closed it as soon as he heard the door shut behind Cloud. 

“Well?” he asked. 

“She got my head out of my ass.”

“Which, in this context, means…?”

“She pointed out that everyone has weird needs, and that, even if the public thinks different, I’m just like everyone else that way.”

“I’m glad she has sense,” Sephiroth said, setting the book on the coffee table. 

“I’m gonna go sleep, if you want to come with? I figure we can talk to everyone else about it tomorrow.”

“If you’d like,” Sephiroth said, climbing to his feet. He took Cloud by the hand and led him upstairs, where they both dressed down to tee-shirts and boxer-briefs. 

Cloud curled into Sephiroth’s side, who wrapped an arm around Cloud’s shoulders and bundled him close. He pulled the blanket over them both as Cloud sighed in contentment. 

“Rest well, Cloud.”

He didn’t even hear the end of the sentence. The second he was comfortable, he was out like a light. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where we start getting firmly into 24/7 territory! It’s still just negotiation stages rn, but this is the warning for those of you uncomfortable with the concept! It’s only going to get heavier into the matter from here on out, so this might be a good point to bow out of you’re going to!

Cloud was not up as early as he usually was now, this far out from his clubbing days. He usually woke with the sun, like Angeal and Sephiroth. Like everyone, really, but Genesis and Zack always just went back to sleep. But he did have a lot of sleep to catch up on after the last few days, so he tried not to be too frustrated with himself when he woke up at 0945. 

But the way he laid in bed for another half hour was entirely on him. He stared at the ceiling anxiously. 

Everyone was down there waiting on an explanation. No doubt Genesis had told everyone of his promise to explain by now, so there would be questions as soon as he sat down. Sephiroth would have refused to explain anything—he was no help. 

He wondered if maybe he could spend the whole day staring at the ceiling and then just go back to bed that night. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done it. 

And that was the thought that finally got him moving. He was not going to start a new, different spiral over this. It was just anxiety. He could handle it. 

Nevermind that there was no feasible escape after. No one had work until 1730, when Genesis would go help Tifa. Everyone else was off today. Gods he hoped this didn’t go poorly. 

He went to take a shower and said it was responsible, not stalling (it was stalling). He brushed his teeth for far too long, flossed carefully, even considered using some of Genesis’s hair product to attempt to fix his hair. That was when it became glaringly obvious that he was stalling, so he finally went downstairs. 

Zack perked up and was looking at him in relief as soon as he saw him. Genesis smiled softly around his mug of coffee. Angeal pulled out the chair next to him, which already had a mug of coffee sitting in front; someone must have made his cup, they all knew how he took it by now. Sephiroth was sitting on the other side of his designated seat and only glanced up and nodded once in recognition. 

Cloud went and sat in his seat, trying very much to feel like he wasn’t walking into a lion’s den. He was safe here. He always was. 

“Morning,” he greeted, lifting his coffee and taking a sip, mostly to be able to hide behind the mug. 

“Good morning,” Genesis said. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. I needed the sleep.”

“I imagine so. The bags under your eyes haven’t left completely.”

“Might take a bit. I… I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. It was immature and bratty of me to throw a tantrum like that.”

Angeal snorted his amusement while Genesis and Zack smiled, Zack’s a fair bit wider. 

“It kinda  _ was _ a tantrum, now that you say it,” Zack agreed. “What was going on with you?”

“Sephiroth pointed something out to me that I didn’t want to hear again.”

“What was it this time?” Angeal asked. 

Cloud looked down. He fiddled with his mug for quite a while. 

“I can tell them, if you’d rather,” Sephiroth offered. It was surprisingly thoughtful of him. 

“No, I should do it,” Cloud sighed. “You know how we do all that submission stuff in the bedroom?”

“Of course,” Angeal said, while the others nodded. 

“And y’know how, when I get bad, you guys don’t  _ ask _ me to take care of myself, you just tell me to, and I usually do it?”

“I didn’t realize you were aware we did that,” Genesis said in surprise. 

“I wasn’t. Sephiroth pointed it out.”

“And that’s why you’ve been fighting us when we tried to do that the past few days.”

Cloud hid behind his mug as he mumbled, “Yeah.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Cloud,” Zack said. “Whatever helps you helps you.”

“No, that wasn’t the heart of the problem. I… I want more.”

They blinked at him. Sephiroth set a comforting hand on his knee beneath the table. He sucked in a deep breath to try again. 

“I want that but all the time, not just when I’m being neglectful of myself. I like… I like when you just make my coffee for me, because you know what I want. I like when you all choose the movie for the night before I get home. I  _ like _ when I’m too focused on something, and one of you decides it's time to put it down. 

“Until now, you’ve always given me a choice about it. You ask if the movie’s okay, or ask for me to come help with something else instead of just telling me to put down what I’m doing. But I don’t want the choice. If I have a problem, I’ll tell you. But I also like the idea that, if it’s in my best interest, you’ll just ignore what I say. 

“We all know I can’t take care of myself right. You’ve all taught me to accept being cared for. This is just… a big version of that. I want to listen to you the way I do when I’m in my collar, but all the time. 

“And I get this is a big ask, and you might not be comfortable with it, but—we can talk about it, and set terms, and make it okay. If you three don’t want in, that’s fine, but I—“ he glanced at Sephiroth, who was watching him, and nodded, “—I’ll be doing this with Sephiroth at least.”

There was a long pause. Angeal looked thoughtful. Zack looked hesitant. But Genesis looked relieved. 

“This sounds like something that would be very good for you, Cloud,” Genesis said, a soft smile on his face. “I think you would have a lot of peace this way. I want to participate.”

Angeal spoke much slower when he said, “I can see the benefits. And you know I love caring for you. But I need to see how far this would go, first. You need to still have autonomy.”

“I don’t want autonomy, Angeal,” Cloud admitted in a whisper. 

Angeal ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I mean—I need a way for you to hit the breaks. You need to be able to safeword.”

“If I have a problem, I’ll tell you. It’s up to you, what you do with that protest.”

Angeal looked to Genesis and Sephiroth.

“You’re not really thinking of  _ ignoring _ him safewording?”

“As he said before,” Sephiroth said, “I will consider his protests. If I feel they are valid, and we are coming to a point where forcing the issue would be harmful, I will stop. If I think it is fear talking, or simple reluctance, it will be ignored.”

Genesis nodded, saying, “Cloud’s said before, that we know his limits more than he does. I think that’s why he only ever really uses the ‘yellow’ safeword. He’s always been sooner to warn than to demand we stop. I don’t expect this to be different.”

Finally, Cloud said, “I trust you all. If there’s something I try to say no to, and you insist I do it anyway, I think you’d probably be right. But if you don’t want to push it, that’s fine, too. I’d never want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

Cloud looked to Zack, who’d been quiet for a while, just staring at Cloud, who tilted his head now. 

“What are you thinking, Zack?”

“I think… I think you’re not a trooper anymore, and I’m not your CO.”

“This isn’t a military thing, Zack. It’s more… personal,” Cloud explained. 

Zack ruffled his hair and said, “No, I know. This is more about your needs, and I  _ want _ to help take care of them. I want to help take care of  _ you _ . I just… what we do is one thing. This feels like it’ll be a lot of acting, y’know?”

Cloud nodded readily, saying, “I get that. I’d like everyone there when we talk about terms, to make sure things don’t get out of hand. You can always try it, and if it’s uncomfortable, you don’t have to continue. Or you can just watch what happens for a while, and jump in if you feel like it? It’s up to you, Zack. I won’t twist your arm about any of this.”

Zack blew out a slow breath. 

“Maybe. I do want to be there when you all talk about this, just to know what I’d potentially be getting into if nothing else, but… yeah. Can we do a like, trial period? Just to see how it goes before we decide this will definitely be how things are?”

“I think that’s a great idea, Zack,” Angeal said, reaching across the table to take his hand. He looked more relieved than he had before. “I think that would make me more comfortable too.”

“It’s probably smart,” Cloud said. “Let us all get a feel for what we’re doing before we really commit.”

“Do you want to negotiate now?” Genesis said, watching as Cloud started tapping his finger on the table. 

“Not yet,” Cloud said. “Sephiroth and I have had time to think about it, but you guys haven’t. I think maybe we give it a few days, a week, let everyone think of what they would want out of this, where you draw your lines.”

Zack sagged a bit in relief. 

“I think that would help. Let me wrap my head around the idea first, get some ideas. I’ll talk with Gen and Seph, since they seem to have a better idea about what would go into this.”

Cloud smiled at Zack. 

“Whatever you need. I’m just glad you’re all humoring me on this. I really appreciate even this much. I know it’s… it’s not a normal way to do things.”

“Having a five way relationship with two former couples, one recent couple, and a pair of enemies isn’t exactly orthodox to begin with,” Genesis said, a smile curled on his lips as he rested his chin in his palm. “I have no use for propriety, and I doubt the others do either. I know for certain Sephiroth couldn’t care less.”

“You’re right, of course. Cloud’s distress was largely centered around those ‘should’s I told him he should ignore,” Sephiroth agreed. 

Genesis tilted his head and said, “It wasn’t so long ago that those ‘should’s plagued  _ you _ , if you recall.”

“Of course I do,” Sephiroth said. Cloud felt his hand tighten around his knee. “I just will not have Cloud repeat my mistakes.”

Beneath the table, Cloud laid his hand atop Sephiroth’s and squeezed lightly. 

“I’ve got my head out of my ass, now. It’ll still bother me that this isn’t what a hero ‘should’ do, but I’ll try not to let it. It’s definitely not going to stop me from at least trying.”

“And I’m proud of you for that,” Angeal said, setting a hand on Cloud’s shoulder. “You would have, not that long ago.”

Cloud gave him a small smile. 

“I have some practice, now, accepting that I don’t always know best, and asking for what I need.”

Angeal leaned in to kiss him softly. 

“We’ll figure this out. Until then, I’ll get you breakfast, if you’re eating again.”

Cloud looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I am. I’d appreciate that.”

Angeal kissed his hair and got out of his chair to get breakfast for him. 

Cloud couldn’t stop the thought that maybe he was asking for too much. It certainly felt selfish, to ask to be cared for this way. It felt bratty and childish. He looked down at his lap. 

He had gotten the words out, yes, and no one had been mad or freaked out,  _ yes _ , but maybe he was still asking for too much. Maybe none of them really wanted to care for him this way. They had asked for a partner, not a child, after all. He shouldn’t be burdening them this way. They couldn’t want—

Sephiroth’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck, not choking, simply holding him in place. Before he could glance over, Sephiroth leaned toward him. He set his mouth by Cloud’s ear and whispered low enough that the others wouldn’t hear. 

“Remember what I said, Cloud. Until the cosmos crumble. We might still have fine points to discuss, but we’ve both agreed. You are  _ mine _ . I’ll kill you before I let you go.”

Cloud relaxed. He knew he shouldn’t—those threats should raise his hackles, and he should be grabbing his sword. But he felt so terribly  _ wanted _ , like this. Truly loved. He blinked slowly and let out a slow breath before nodding. 

Sephiroth kissed his temple before withdrawing for his own coffee. 

Cloud glanced up, looking nervously between the other two. Genesis looked calculating, as if he had been taking notes on what he could gather of the interaction. Zack looked hesitant, but a little less tense—like it had been enlightening to see a small display of what this could mean. 

Cloud cleared his throat and grabbed his coffee, taking a sip. 

This was going to get messy before it got better. 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another BDSM scene ahead, featuring mild fearplay, just as a heads up!

They resolved to start their negotiations the next day. Zack and Angeal in particular needed time to come to terms with the idea. Genesis was largely comfortable with the concept—he was familiar with the idea of power exchange relationships, with the idea of doing this full time, and had considered it in the past. He had known they had one toe in the arrangement this whole time, and more than once had considered bringing it up with Cloud. But Cloud clung to his independence and his freedom too desperately. Genesis knew that there was a way for them to respect those urges while still in a power exchange arrangement, but didn’t want to scare Cloud. 

But he seemed more than receptive to the idea, now. Genesis was glad that Sephiroth had brought it up, though neither Sephiroth nor Cloud seemed familiar with the terminology for what they were suggesting. They were just seeking a way to make their old patterns healthy without sacrificing the dynamic. 

Genesis was happy to help guide them all, now that it was on the table. He was the only one out of the lot of them who had spent any time in the BDSM scene proper. He and Angeal may have figured their way around it on their own years ago, and they may all be acquainted with it now, but Genesis was the one who had outside resources. He had been to the clubs, had met people with similar interests, had had the casual conversations. It had been for want of his partner of choice, and he admittedly hadn’t been back since meeting Cloud. Still, he had outside knowledge he was happy to put to use.

He spent the day explaining things to Angeal and Zack. The idea of contracts, of collar ceremonies, of common boundaries and how relationships like this looked for other people. They spent a fair amount of the day in front of a laptop, doing extra research, pulling up examples for them to follow. There were resources available, for people like them who were looking, and Genesis knew enough of the terminology to make the search easy. 

Angeal was easier to settle. Some 24/7 arrangements involved the continuation of safewords, and others didn’t. Genesis made it clear that, if Cloud protested, and Angeal didn’t want to push him, he didn’t have to. He suggested having Cloud explain  _ why _ he was protesting, his thought process and reasoning, and to make a decision afterward. If Cloud was insisting on taking back-to-back deliveries because there was a high demand and they needed the money, that was one thing. If he was taking them because he was using the deliveries as an excuse to run away, that was another. 

In the end, Angeal’s comfort was relevant, too. He wasn’t required to do anything that made him uncomfortable. If he didn’t even want to ask Cloud’s reasoning, preferring to simply take his protest at face value, that was an avenue open to him as well. It was up to him to make that decision, and he had the rest of the day to suss out how he felt—longer, if he needed it. He seemed to calm greatly when that had been explained to him. 

Zack took a little more careful handling. It started with Genesis explaining options to him. He could have nothing to do with it at all, and simply continue on with Cloud as he had been. But Zack seemed reluctant to take that route—this was clearly important to Cloud, and he wanted to help. Genesis suggested functioning as a referee of sorts; not necessarily participating in taking control, but there to supervise, and step in when necessary. This seemed to appeal more, but he was unwilling, still, to give up on the idea of participating entirely.

“Just—explain to me what the difference is. We already order him around when he really needs it. And I get what he was saying, about day to day stuff, but we already kind of do that anyway. What will be  _ new _ ?” Zack asked, looking at Genesis with rare severity.

“When we collar Cloud, there are metaphorical reins that Cloud puts into our hands. He agrees to do what we tell him, when and how we tell him. He agrees to tell us if we are pushing him, if he is uncomfortable, or if he wants to stop. There are the play aspects, the hitting, the wordplay, the bondage, yes, but that is not the heart of it—those are things Cloud  _ enjoys _ , not things Cloud  _ needs _ .

“What he needs is to agree. He needs to, carefully and deliberately, hand control to someone he trusts. He needs to  _ choose _ to give up. He values his freedom—he always has, and that has not stopped. It is all about having the freedom to not be free. What he wants, Zack, is to choose  _ us _ . He wants to know that he could call it all off and go back to the way we do things now, but to choose not to. As much as not having control matters, as much as the  _ collar _ matters, that is not what it is about. It is about fastening it around his own neck. Do you see?”

Zack paused for a long moment, giving this the careful consideration it deserved.

“Then he always has the power to end things. That, if he gets tired of this, he can call it off, and we go back to things as normal. We can choose to ignore him safewording in the moment, but the big, important safeword, him calling off the arrangement, is always on the table, yeah?”

“ _ Yes _ . We lock the collar, but he holds onto the key.”

The tension in Zack’s posture unwound like thread from its spool. He ruffled his hair.

“I still don’t know how comfortable I’ll be ordering him around with little things. I think it’ll feel like a lot of playing pretend.”

“Then don’t order him with little things. You can continue to ask him and give him choices, Zack. Only ever go as far as you are comfortable—he wouldn’t want you to go any further. And, if one day that changes, and you want to simply tell him that now is the time for one of your insipid video games instead of suggesting it to him, then you may do that as well.”

Zack sighed. He leaned forward and kiss Genesis softly before touching their foreheads together.

“Thank you, this—this makes a lot more sense, now. It sounded—well, it sounded fucking daunting at first.”

Genesis chuckled, running his fingers through Zack’s long hair before cupping the back of his head.

“It is a big step. But one that stands to do a lot of good. For all of us, I feel. Once you are comfortable, and come into your own, I see you loving every time you give him not what he wants, but what he needs. You’ve had him under your wing before, and I suspect it will feel very right to have him there again.”

“That was different. That was about getting him into SOLDIER.”

“And this is about something infinitely more important: all of our happiness.”

Zack sighed and leaned away, but with a small smile on his face. It turned wry after a moment.

“So what do I do if I just want to play video games with him, and it’s not what he needs?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with—but I can say with confidence, that he won’t mind you being selfish. You know how he is, how he puts everyone before himself. If we started to make every order solely for his own sake, I expect he would fuss. You enjoy taking care of him; he enjoys taking care of you as well. He will still do so in all the ways he ever has, unless you tell him to stop. The only difference is that now you can just tell him to give you what you want—and I bet he would enjoy it very much.”

“That doesn’t feel like taking advantage of him to you?”

Genesis smiled and took gentle hold of Zack’s hand.

“He has always wanted to give us what we want, often at cost to himself. This way, we are sure everyone is taken care of. Our needs, by asking for them to be cared for bluntly. His needs, by taking charge of them ourselves, because he will neglect them if left to his own devices. This stands to benefit us all, Zack. If I didn’t think it was in everyone’s best interest, I wouldn’t be trying to make it work.”

Genesis raised Zack’s hand to kiss his knuckles, and when Zack only stared back at him, his mouth twisted in thought, he smiled.

“Come on, then,” Genesis said, pulling out his PHS. “Let’s find some sample contracts, see what other people are doing, and maybe you’ll understand what I mean a little better.”

Genesis spent the day wrangling Zack and Angeal, trying to coax them into wrapping their minds around something that did not come quite as easily to them. They did not have Genesis’s experience with BDSM, after all, or Cloud and Sephiroth’s experience with ownership, however unhealthily that might have been executed.

Genesis had the time to do this because, after breakfast had been finished, he had shooed Cloud and Sephiroth back upstairs.

“We are not doing this full time until we can say, with confidence, that you two can at least be trusted to do a scene together,” Genesis said, pushing Cloud gently to the stairs. “I need to see that Sephiroth can be trusted to take care of Cloud, unsupervised, before I grant my blessing to any of us, but especially you two, having this arrangement.”

Cloud had sighed, but said, “I guess that makes sense.”

“Cloud, I am trusting you to guide him. Do not let him take you anywhere you don’t want to go. I know your tendency not to safeword until you are about to break, and I am telling you right now  _ not _ to play that game with him. He doesn’t know your tells how I do, he won’t know when to back off if you don’t tell him. I know you will want to hold out as long as you can as a matter of pride with him, but  _ don’t _ . If you don’t come back downstairs in one piece, I will raise hell about doing this full time. That means you must be responsible for making sure he doesn’t take you too far.”

Cloud looked back at Genesis to see he was deadly serious. It sobered him significantly about the matter. This was just like the last time he took Sephiroth to bed—if he wanted Genesis’s blessing, he had to come back to him whole. He nodded slowly. Genesis nodded in return. 

“Go on upstairs, pick some things you trust him with. I’ll explain the particulars.”

Cloud disappeared up the stairs. Genesis set about giving Sephiroth a reminder of things they had already covered. They had, quite a while ago, gone over Cloud’s hard no’s and soft no’s, his tells for when things were starting to be too much but he wouldn’t admit it, his safewords. Sephiroth had a photographic memory, and Genesis was sure he remembered, but he ran him through it again anyway. Sephiroth didn’t protest the reminder, because he, too, wanted to be sure he got this right. Much as he had when he let Cloud put him on his back, he was determined to do whatever was necessary to secure the blessing of the others.

By the time Genesis was finished and Sephiroth made his way upstairs, Cloud was sitting naked on the edge of the bed with a small handful of items next to him.

As he shut the door gently behind him, Cloud said, “Tell me honestly, without the pressure of everyone else making you censor yourself. If I safeword, will you listen?”

Sephiroth paused, his back still turned and one hand on the knob. Then he turned back to Cloud.

“Yes. I do not promise to do so after this. But, until they trust us together, I will take you at your word. Will you actually safeword if you need it?”

Cloud nodded, saying, “Until they trust us together. One day, I’ll trust you to know where the lines are. But you can’t know that until I show you where they are, right?”

Sephiroth stepped closer, until he could curve his hand around the back of Cloud’s neck.

“Yes. I assure you, I am a quick study.”

“Good. Don’t make the same mistakes twice, and this will all go quicker.”

“What did you pick?”

Cloud lifted the small pile at his side and passed it to Sephiroth, who sorted through it slowly.

“Collar, leash, cuffs. I’m surprised there isn’t more.”

Cloud breathed in slowly before saying, “Sephiroth, I expect I’m going to be terrified. And, clearly, after last time, I like that to a degree, but. Let’s start small. One day, you can have me blindfolded and gagged in a cock ring with a spreader bar holding my legs open and my hands tied up above my head, useless. But, for now, I’m going to have a hard enough time not ripping those cuffs every time you move too fast. Let’s start small.”

Sephiroth nodded. He understood, better than anyone, Cloud’s hesitancy. Because, the image those words painted had his blood singing. He  _ ached _ to have Cloud helpless. He wanted, desperately, to hurt him, to spill his blood. But a part of him was relieved, that Cloud had limited them to what he had. Cloud didn’t fully trust him not to go too far, and that was good—Sephiroth wasn’t sure he trusted himself not to go too far, either. 

Sephiroth gingerly set the cuffs and leash on the bedspread, holding the collar between his fingers. He looked from it up to Cloud, who was watching him carefully.

“I am trusting you, Cloud. Do not let me go too far. We both want their blessing, yes, and you need to be in one piece for that, but, Cloud,  _ I _ want you in one piece, after. Do you understand me? Do not think to let me break you, then try to hide it before you return to the others. I do not want you broken.”

Cloud swallowed hard. It was not a sentiment he was used to hearing, from Sephiroth. Once, he would have waxed poetic about how beautiful Cloud was in pieces. It gave Cloud some small measure of hope that this might actually work, to hear him say that.

“Should I call you something else? While we do this?”

“I think by name will be quite enough, for now. I think it might be best if we do this as ourselves. It will be overwhelming enough for us both without any playacting.”

Cloud deliberately bared his throat and said, “Go on, then. Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth glanced up from the collar to Cloud. He then, slowly and carefully, affixed the collar around his neck. He slipped two fingers beneath it, assuring there was enough room to be comfortable, before tugging at it loosely. He had never collared someone before, and he wanted to be sure Cloud wouldn’t be choking through the rest of this. When he was confident, he splayed his fingers across Cloud’s throat and looked up at him, just to see Cloud smiling at him fondly. Cloud nodded. Sephiroth nodded in return. Cloud lifted the leash from the bed and held it out to Sephiroth.

He took the leash carefully. He gingerly clipped it on. He gave a gentle tug at it, and Cloud let himself sway with the motion. When he looked up again, Cloud had somehow gotten fonder.

“Zack was this nervous his first time, too,” Cloud said quietly.

“Zack was not stepping onto a minefield his first time,” Sephiroth said, his voice just as hushed, though he wasn’t sure why.

“There are a lot of old scars between us,” Cloud said, his voice gentle. “If you don’t trust yourself to mind them, trust me. I’ll tell you if you go too far.”

Sephiroth looked at Cloud for a long moment, trying to be sure of his sincerity. Cloud looked back at him, steady as he’d ever been, and blinked mildly. Sephiroth let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Up by the headboard, then.”

Sephiroth undressed himself as Cloud went to comply, scooting backwards up the bedspread. He arranged himself so his arms could be fully stretched out above him, but stayed propped up on his elbows until Sephiroth joined him on the bed. He only laid back once Sephiroth was settled at his side. He took his wrists and carefully wrapped the cuff around each before extending Cloud’s arms above his head. There was still a hush of severity over the whole room as Sephiroth fed the clip through the bars of the headboard and affixed it to the opposite cuff. Cloud let his arms drop, spread out and vulnerable for Sephiroth.

Sephiroth shifted, coming to settle between Cloud’s legs. He ran his hands reverently over Cloud’s skin, still not daring to break the quiet. He traced old scars and the ridges of muscles silently, feeling when Cloud’s abs shivered beneath his touch, when his breath held and when it shook. 

Sephiroth found he wasn’t exactly sure where to start. He had imagined tossing Cloud onto the bed, pinning him there and fucking him into submission, much the way he had imagined the first time they did this. But there was too much on the line to be so careless. There was a gravitas about this now. He was too concerned about going too far to take the first step.

“I’d—I’d still like it, if you hurt me,” Cloud whispered, meeting Sephiroth’s eyes when they flicked up. “Teeth and hands, that’s it, but you can do plenty with that much.” Then Cloud sucked in a breath and said, “Please. Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth could almost feel the way his pupils dilated, his breath stuttering. What he would have given, years ago, to have Cloud beg him for pain.

That was exactly why he was given this gift now, and not then. Because it meant something different now. It meant Cloud trusted him, and strangely enough, he felt no urge to betray that trust.

Sephiroth wrapped the leash around his hand and yanked, pulling Cloud just a breath off the bed. Cloud’s breath hitched, and his eyes went faintly distant, just barely glassy as a grin formed on his lips. When Sephiroth gave him enough slack to relax against the bed, Cloud nodded at him. 

Using the leash to keep the collar tugged out of the way, Sephiroth licked a long stripe up Cloud’s neck. He scraped his teeth along it in warning, listening to the way Cloud’s breath hissed in. When he bit down, Cloud didn’t bother trying to stifle his groan. It was more important to encourage Sephiroth, right now, than to be prideful. Sephiroth sucked the skin into his mouth, laving his tongue over it, rolling it between his teeth. Cloud’s breath quickly went ragged at the treatment, both of them sure a bruise was blossoming on his throat. 

Sephiroth ran his free hand down Cloud’s chest, feeling him shiver beneath the caress. He ran his hand back up, brushing his thumb over Cloud’s nipple briefly before pinching it sharply between his fingers. Cloud jerked beneath him, gasping, before settling and letting out a low whine.

“That’s it, stop worrying,” Cloud whispered, tilting his head back to allow Sephiroth more room. “I trust you, so trust me to stop you if I need to.”

There was a sharp comment on the tip of Sephiroth’s tongue, about how he didn’t need reassurance—except, he found, that the reassurance calmed him greatly. He could do this. Cloud trusted him to do this. Genesis and Angeal and Zack trusted him to do this. He trusted Cloud to stop him from going too far.

The tension slipped from his shoulders as he took Cloud’s advice and stopped worrying. He released his nipple to grab him by the chin, his grip rough, and angle his head further back. He ran his tongue over the red mark he had left before tilting Cloud’s head to allow him to find a new spot.

He shifted, slotting one leg between Cloud’s and pressing up, feeling the way Cloud’s hips jerked in response. Cloud hesitantly, experimentally rolled his hips, grinding himself against Sephiroth’s leg.

Sephiroth hummed low in his throat and purred, “Good boy, Cloud.”

He wasn’t thinking. It wasn’t the deliberate, barbed choice he had made, last time they had been in bed together and he said that. He wasn’t trying to call up memories of when he had first said that to Cloud, after forcing him to hand over the Black Materia the first time. He wasn’t trying to make Cloud feel helpless. It was simple, mindless praise.

“Ye—” Cloud started to say on instinct. He was in the habit, now. Someone called him “good boy,” he said “yellow,” that was how this worked. But the past didn’t flash before his eyes. He didn’t hear Sephiroth’s voice, wicked and cruel, in his ear. He heard Sephiroth’s quiet purr, throaty and slightly muffled. He heard the way his voice was just barely going ragged with lust, the genuine pride in his voice. The way he  _ meant _ the words, simply and literally.

But as much as he had started to say was enough. Sephiroth pulled away, letting Cloud’s chin and the leash both go, looking down at him in worry.

“Yellow?” he asked, guessing what Cloud had been about to say.

Cloud paused, and then slowly shook his head.

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you  _ sure _ , Cloud? You said you’d stop me, if you needed to.”

Cloud smiled. It was slow, but it grew inexorably, until it was far brighter than either expected.

“I did. And I don’t. Need to, that is. Keep going. I’ll—” Cloud sucked in a sharp breath, but then blew it out and smiled. “I’ll be a good boy for you.”

Sephiroth didn’t realize quite what it meant for Cloud to say that, the sheer number of times he had safeworded over that phrase, every single time a partner forgot and used it. He only heard the sentiment, and saw the sincere smile on Cloud’s face. 

He watched him closely as he grabbed the leash again. He pulled Cloud up off the bed to kiss him, still held aloft by the tugging on his collar. They kissed slowly, sensually, in no particular rush. Until Cloud sucked on Sephiroth’s tongue and Sephiroth groaned, getting some of his sense of urgency back. Cloud deliberately rolled his hips, grinding himself against Sephiroth’s leg.

Sephiroth began to kiss down Cloud’s body. Over his throat, sucking sharply at the marks he had left. Down his chest to his nipples, where he bit hard, leaving little red rings around the hardened buds he flicked with his tongue. To his navel, where he dipped his tongue in, feeling Cloud shiver beneath him. To his inner thigh, where he sucked a new bruise into the sensitive skin, listening to Cloud mewl for him. 

Every now and then, he heard a rattle and a clack, as Cloud forgot himself and jerked his hands forward, aching to touch but unable to reach. He’d hear Cloud’s quiet curse and his head fall back against the pillows again, and when he looked up, Cloud’s eyes were screwed shut. His chest was heaving as he panted.

Sephiroth deliberately ghosted the hot puff of his breath over Cloud’s length, listening to him whine, as he reached up for his leash. He pulled him forward and leaned up to meet him. He pressed his fingers into Cloud’s mouth, both their eyes going dark.

“Suck,” he said, though he didn’t have to. Cloud was already working his tongue over the digits, hollowing his cheeks. Sephiroth’s eyes fell to half-mast as he spread his two fingers, letting Cloud’s tongue run between them. He pressed them together again and then slowly inched them further and further back into Cloud’s mouth. He stared at Cloud’s mouth, his lips parting to accommodate more of his hand, until he glanced up to see Cloud’s eyes shut in pleasure. He gamely did his best to try and accept Sephiroth as far down his throat as he could.

He did well, too. Sephiroth pressed his fingers deliberately to the back of Cloud’s mouth before just barely slipping them down into his throat. He went still when Cloud gagged around him, but he fought down the urge to continue choking quickly. Sephiroth thrust his hand shallowly in and out of Cloud’s mouth, listening to his muffled moan. He could feel Cloud’s hard-on bump against his collarbone as it twitched. 

He pulled his hand from Cloud’s mouth, smearing the saliva down his chin deliberately. Cloud’s mouth hung open as he panted, until Sephiroth slowly released his leash and let him relax back against the bed. Sephiroth brought his wet fingers to Cloud’s hole, circling one around his entrance in warning. 

Cloud breath hitched before he said, “Y’know, lube would almost definitely work better.”

“Manners, Cloud.”

Cloud huffed a breathless laugh before correcting, “I’d like to suggest lube if you want to get much further.”

Sephiroth slipped his finger inside in shallow little thrusts as Cloud’s breath caught again.

“There is time for that still. Maybe I just wanted to see what your throat felt like.” When Cloud cursed quietly, Sephiroth grinned and said, “Maybe I thought you might like the feeling as much as I would.”

“There are better ways for you to feel my throat,” Cloud promised, and Sephiroth laughed quietly.

“Oh, I am aware. There’s time still for that as well.” Sephiroth nipped at his inner thigh, making him hiss, before he continued, “If not today, then another day.”

“You’d enjoy it as much as I would.”

“You don’t have to sell me on the idea of seeing your lips stretched around my cock, Cloud.”

Sephiroth shifted, reaching up to grab the lube off the nightstand. He spread some across his fingers before he pressed two inside Cloud, whose eyes fluttered. Before they could open again, he wrapped Cloud’s leash around his hand, just enough that it would be taut while he held his cock in place and slipped it into his mouth.

Cloud gave a low, broken moan, his face twisting as Sephiroth sucked softly on his head. He lapped slowly at his slit, watching Cloud’s hips stutter as he fought to keep still. He ran his thumb over Cloud’s balls as he scissored his fingers, spreading his hole open a little wider. With a hum, he took Cloud fully into his mouth, running his tongue along the veins he found. Cloud whimpered in response.

When he let his teeth graze over Cloud’s length he heard him yelp and he jerked beneath him. 

He was about to pull away to ask if Cloud was okay when Cloud whispered, “Please don’t bite.”

Sephiroth had no intention of it. That would be more pain than he was intending to give Cloud right now, and was not a line he knew how to toe safely. But, he remembered his first time with Cloud. The way the fear had made him hyper-sensitive, the way he had screamed and shouted his pleasure.

He thought a little fear couldn’t hurt.

Sephiroth hummed and let his teeth scrape up Cloud’s length, who whimpered and cursed, but also throbbed in his mouth. He pulled off with a wet pop to laugh quietly, shifting the angle of his hand to tighten Cloud’s leash. He thrust his other hand forward sharply, making Cloud curse again.

“Why, Cloud, you can’t possibly be afraid of a little pain.”

“Pain, no,” Cloud said, panting as Sephiroth licked up his length. “You biting my dick, possibly off, is another thing entirely.”

“It wouldn’t be in my best interest to bite your dick  _ off _ ,” Sephiroth reminded. He tongued at his slit again before continuing, “How else would I make you writhe for me?”

Cloud, who had been very much in the process of doing so, abruptly went still.

“I’m sure you’d find a way.”

“Such faith you have in me.”

Then Sephiroth gave up the conversation, much more interested in seeing just how much of a response he could get out of Cloud with his tongue and his teeth.

It was apparently quite a lot. Cloud would only stop squirming with the threat of his teeth against him, when he would whimper and whine. He cursed fervently and breathed Sephiroth’s name like a prayer. Sephiroth had started this as a way to make prep more pleasant, but by this point, Cloud was long since ready, and he was simply enjoying wringing the reactions out of him. He was particularly fond of the way Cloud kept begging him for mercy.

“Are you safewording?” Sephiroth had asked once, after the fifth time Cloud asked him to stop.

“ _ No _ , but—”

“You are aware you can, if you need to.”

“I  _ know _ —”

“I want you to, if it is too much.”

“Godsdammit, Sephiroth, I’m  _ fine _ , just—”

“You just like begging me, is that it?”

Cloud huffed and turned his face away, refusing to admit that. Because, as a rule, he hated begging. He begged as a last resort when he wanted to get his way without safewording. He never begged for the simple act  _ of _ begging. But he was used to it with Sephiroth, to asking and pleading and begging him to stop, if only silently in his mind, where he knew damn well Sephiroth could hear him. It felt natural. It felt  _ good _ , now, when he had the option to safeword and properly make Sephiroth stop any time he liked. An echo of what they used to do, but turned on its head to be pleasant.

Sephiroth had laughed, scraping his teeth just barely over Cloud’s head, and then laughed harder when he cursed sharply. 

It wasn’t long before he had him begging again, anyway.

Sephiroth worked him to the edge over and over, always pulling away at the last second. He could taste Cloud’s need, the way he was weeping precum into his mouth, and he was determined to savor it. He wanted to keep Cloud here, squirming on the brink, for as long as he could.

Until Cloud finally turned from begging him to stop to begging him to keep going.

“ _ Please _ , pleasepleaseplease, Sephiroth, just let me come,  _ please _ .”

“Do you want to be a good boy for me, Cloud?”

“ _ Yes _ , however you want, just  _ please _ — _ ahh! _ ”

Sephiroth swallowed him down in one quick movement, taking him down to the base in a way he had not yet done. Cloud shouted, jerking hard against his bonds, his legs coming up and wrapping around Sephiroth’s shoulders. Sephiroth swallowed around him and curled his fingers inside him, rubbing over his prostate, and it was all over. Cloud came with a broken whimper down his throat as Sephiroth swallowed around him repeatedly. As he pulled off, he let his teeth scrape over Cloud one last time.

“ _ Haaah-ah-ah-ohhhhh _ my gods, sweet Shiva,  _ Sephiroth _ ,” Cloud breathed, slumping back against the bed. 

Sephiroth chuckled, licking his lips and enjoying the sight of Cloud, languid and relaxed, without the usual line of tension in him. Then he released Cloud’s leash and shifted upright, holding Cloud’s legs over his shoulders still, until he could press his own tip to Cloud’s entrance.

“You do realize we’re not quite done, don’t you?”

“‘Course,” Cloud slurred. “Just—just gimme a minute, let me catch my breath.”

“Unfortunately, I rather like you breathless,” Sephiroth said, before slowly pushing his way inside Cloud.

Cloud whined, his legs tightening around Sephiroth’s shoulders, feeling sensitive and spent. He gripped at the bars on the headboard for something to hold onto as Sephiroth grabbed his hips so he couldn’t squirm away.

Sephiroth did, initially, make concessions to Cloud’s oversensitivity. His thrusts were slow and languid. He started off shallow, though each one worked deeper and deeper inside. He didn’t particularly aim for Cloud’s prostate. He thought this was all relatively reasonable of him. 

The longer he went on, though, the more of these things fell by the wayside. Each thrust was striking deep, and his pace kept picking up. More than once, their hips slapped together from the force behind the thrust. He began adjusting his hips and Cloud’s, shifting them until Cloud yelped his pleasure—he was careful to keep that angle from then on. Cloud was gripping the headboard tight enough that it creaked ominously, but they were both much too preoccupied to care. 

Before long, Cloud was hard and leaking against his stomach again, babbling something—he wasn’t even sure what anymore. All he knew was that he felt like he was on fire in the best way, every nerve alight, his heart still racing from the remnants of fear singing in his bloodstream. He was doing his best to meet every thrust, to tighten around Sephiroth how he knew would feel best, to let out every pretty, breathy sound he knew would spur him on. He felt Sephiroth’s hands so, so tight around his hips, certain he would be wearing the bruised imprint of his fingers after this, and absolutely adoring the idea. 

Sephiroth was too focused on Cloud. On the tight, wet heat of him, on the beautiful sounds he kept making, on the way he spoke. His begging and pleading for more, harder,  _ yes _ , his fervent recitals of Sephiroth’s name, the way he cursed every deity under the sun and themselves as well. 

On the way  _ he _ was the one giving this to Cloud. Not Genesis, not Angeal, not Zack— _ him _ , with all their problems and tragedies hanging around them, ever-present and far from forgotten. Words that used to be weapons turned into lovesong, fear that used to be crippling turning into nothing but a tool for pleasure. His heart was racing, for a thousand reasons, but not the least of which being the sense of  _ hope _ . That they could  _ do this _ , that there was a way forward, that their past hadn’t damned them. He could have Cloud, and not break him. Cloud could have him, and not hate him. They could have each other, maybe even with love.

And that was what had Sephiroth finally, finally spilling inside Cloud. The fiery, ever-burning coal of  _ hope _ in his chest that sang out a future for them. A future where they might love each other.

Sephiroth did not tell this to Cloud, of course. He stroked Cloud to completion a split second before tumbling over that edge himself, needing to go together, but refusing to tell Cloud why. And Cloud, wrecked by pleasure and worn out as he was, did not think to ask.

Sephiroth pulled out slowly and eased Cloud back down the mattress, from where he’d been folded nearly in half. Cloud’s legs were shaking, either with the remnants of pleasure or from the strength he had been using to cling to Sephiroth, who leaned down over him to lick the ropes of his cum off his chest.

Cloud gave a weak chuckle and said, “Do not try to get me started again.”

Sephiroth smiled, looking a little fonder than he intended to, and said, “Perhaps I simply enjoy the taste of your pleasure.”

“Good Gaia,” Cloud said, his tone sarcastic, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from watching the path of Sephiroth’s tongue long enough to roll them. 

Sephiroth licked his lips, but set about freeing Cloud. He unclipped the cuffs from the headboard and unbuckled each in turn, letting Cloud rub idly at his wrists as he set them on the nightstand. The leash was soon set next to them.

When he reached for the collar, Cloud touched his hands to stay them, saying, “Can you leave it? I like wearing it for a while, after.”

Sephiroth blinked, but nodded. He shifted over to lay next to Cloud and pulled him to his chest. Cloud went easily, curling against his side and pillowing his head on Sephiroth’s chest.

“You did well, you know. You’re far less of a handful when you’re in your collar and behaving.”

Cloud chuckled and cheerfully flipped him off.

“Don’t expect that all the time, even once we formalize everything. I’ll still be a handful.”

“I l—”  _ do not say love _ “like you as a handful. This was simply a nice change of pace.”

“It was… really nice, giving up to you like that. Trusting you, and not having it bite me in the ass.”

“I expected you to safeword, if I’m being honest.”

“I expected to have to. I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t have to.”

Sephiroth buried his nose in Cloud’s hair, shutting his eyes.

“I told you I would be a better owner to you now. I meant that.”

“And I believe you. I believed you before, too.”

“But now?”

“Now I have a few less doubts, about how rocky this beginning might be. The past didn’t disappear, but it… didn’t hurt as much, either.”

“The past will remain, but the future will be better. Less pain and fear—unless, of course, you ask for those things.”

Cloud laughed tiredly and said, “I didn’t expect the teeth thing. Didn’t mind it, obviously, but—well, you always keep me on my toes.”

“As you do for me.”

Cloud yawned and nuzzled Sephiroth’s chest, lulled by one of Sephiroth’s hands running soothing sweeps over his arm and shoulder.

“Think anyone will mind if I nap? I know they must be on pins and needles, waiting to see if I’m fine after, but…”

“Sleep, Cloud. When Genesis inevitably comes to check, I’ll handle it.”

“Tell him I called him a worrywart.”

“Surely. You’ll have a nice wake up call, when he laughs hearing the word come out of my mouth.”

Cloud chuckled. He pressed a kiss to Sephiroth’s chest, but before long, was out like a light.

When Genesis did come and check, and Sephiroth did pass along the message, Genesis certainly let out a surprised splutter of laughter. When it just as certainly woke Cloud, he cracked an eye open to look up at Genesis and gave him a tired grin.

Genesis worried less, after that. 


	32. Chapter 32

Once Genesis came downstairs to announce that Cloud had come through his scene with Sephiroth in one piece, no one minded waiting to have any further discussion. They gave it not only through that day, but the day after as well. Angeal and Zack were still processing, still trying to find their own lines they would not cross and the lines that were a little more flexible. 

Still, to Zack at least it felt like no time at all had passed before they were all sitting around the kitchen table again, like they were for every hard talk. Zack and Angeal sat on one side of the table, Cloud and Sephiroth on the other, with Genesis at a third side between them to mediate. They had divided themselves by enthusiasm without thinking, unconsciously trying to sit with like-minded partners for comfort’s sake. 

They sat there, convened but doing nothing, for longer than anyone intended. Zack and Angeal didn’t know where to begin, Genesis and Sephiroth didn’t want to come across like they were pushing some agenda, and Cloud was just too plain nervous. But eventually, he decided that none of the others were going to speak up first—or rather, if he let Genesis get antsy enough, they’d start off on the wrong foot.

“Nothing we talk about today is set in stone, okay?” Cloud started, looking around the table. He had been in a leadership role enough with AVALANCHE that he knew how to do this, much as it was clearly not his preference. “We’re still doing the trial period. If anything feels wrong, we can rework it, and try again. We can do a dozen trial periods if we want. Any contracts we sign don’t have to be permanent; we can always edit them as we go. This is a learning process. Slow and steady, yeah?”

Zack, who arguably looked the most nervous, smiled slowly. 

“Yeah. I think that will help a lot. Not having to get it right as soon as we start.”

“There’s no reason to rush,” Genesis agreed. “We have all the time in the world to make this work.”

“And if it doesn’t,” Cloud interrupted, “then that’s fine too. We’ll figure something else out. This is a big step, but won’t break our relationship if it goes sideways. I love you all too much for that.”

Beneath the table, Sephiroth squeezed Cloud’s knee. Above it, Genesis took his hand.

“I think I can speak for all of us and say we feel the same,” Angeal said with a small smile. 

Cloud smiled but said, “So. What are the thoughts you’ve been having?”

“I think the first point of order is about  _ you _ , Cloud,” Genesis said.

Cloud nodded gamely and said, “Alright. What is it?”

“I think it will make everything a lot smoother if you promise to be truthful. No,” Genesis said, holding up a hand to stay Cloud’s protest, “I’m not calling you a liar. I’m saying that you dodge the truth when it’s inconvenient. If you’re being self-destructive, you always give us other reasons for your behavior. You can’t sleep because there’s too much work to be done, you can’t eat because Tifa needs help at the bar, you have to be the one to cook because you didn’t work and you’re bored. 

“We’ve gotten good at telling when you’re feeding us lines, but this arrangement will be too delicate for that. We need to be able to accurately judge where you’re at to know if our orders will help or hurt. I don’t expect you to fix this habit overnight, but if we tell you to be honest, you need to. We need you to take a moment to evaluate what the truth is and then share it with us, and we need to be able to trust that what comes out of your mouth really is the truth. Can you do that?”

Cloud frowned and looked at the table. It was a habit formed long ago, trying to dodge AVALANCHE’s worry, but most especially Tifa’s. If he gave them some other excuse, they wouldn’t worry about what was really happening. Of course, Tifa had learned to read him, much as these men had, but by now it was force of habit.

“So just, any time you check me, and tell me to be honest, you just want me to tell you the truth? That’s it?”

“The whole truth, Cloud. If I see you hesitate, and I ask you what’s on your mind, I need you to tell me the truth, and not something pretty. I can’t make an accurate judgement on what will be in everyone’s best interest without all the pieces on the table.”

Cloud paused for a long moment, but then slowly nodded.

“I get why that’s important. Can’t fight a battle if you only know what half the front looks like, right? Sure. I can do that.”

Genesis nodded and leaned back in his chair, saying, “I expect you’ll be asked for honesty every time you safeword or protest.” Genesis looked pointedly over to Angeal, who cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter.

“I’m not going to ignore your safewording unless I know why you’re doing it. But, on those grounds, I do need to know the truth when I ask. If I get the sense you aren’t being completely honest, I won’t push you at all, alright?”

Cloud nodded and said, “That’s fine. I really, really don’t want you guys doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“Speaking of,” Zack interrupted, “we looked up sample contracts online and a lot of them were really, uh… graphic. Which is fine and all, but I don’t think we’re doing this explicitly for sexy reasons, right? Just to be clear?”

“I mean, if we’re home and you decide to bend me over, I’m not gonna complain,” Cloud said with a quirk on his lips.

“Okay, but what if you’ve just gotten back from a three week delivery, and you’re tired and sore and grumpy and just want to go to bed, but that’s when I want it?”

“If you ordered it, I’d still do it, but Zack, I know you. You wouldn’t ask if you didn’t think I was in the mood too. Genesis might, just to be a dick about it.”

“There is something to the idea of you all windswept and barely able to keep on your feet,” Genesis admitted with a hum in his tone.

Cloud rolled his eyes with a smile and said, “See? At that point it’s a challenge and a point of pride, and I’m game for that. But even if I  _ was _ just grumpy as hell and not at all in the mood, knowing that you were telling me to do it and that I had already agreed to do what you say would get me going pretty fast.”

“What if you were busy?” Zack asked.

Cloud couldn’t imagine why this was what Zack was hung up on now.

“I’d tell you. If you push, and I can make time, I will. If it’s really crunch time and I’m going to be late for something, I’ll push back, and promise to make it up to you later. But if it’s just something like dishes, who cares? Those can wait.”

“Who knows, maybe you’d be able to do the dishes at the same time,” Genesis hummed.

Cloud laughed and said, “Yeah, maybe if you want your precious hair covered in dishwater.”

Genesis mock-gasped, laying a hand over his heart and said, “Cloud, you wouldn’t!”

Cloud rolled his eyes and cheerfully flipped him off before saying, “Okay, what else?”

“What about more… selfish things?” Zack said, a little quieter than the previous moment leant itself to. “Gen gave me a good example. If I want to play video games together, should I just tell you that’s what we’re doing?”

Without hesitation, Cloud said, “If you want. I want to give you what you want, Zack. I want to take care of you all the way you take care of me—well, maybe not the exact same way, but you get the idea. If you ever want anything, you can always just tell me. If it feels better to give me a chance to say no, or to phrase it differently somehow, that’s fine too. But if you just say it’s time for video games, that’s absolutely fine.”

Zack looked thoughtful, but Genesis gave him an encouraging smile before turning to Cloud.

“Have you given thought to the collar situation?” Genesis asked.

“Collar situation?”

“I thought not,” Genesis said with a sigh. “These arrangements often come with what’s called a day collar, to match the separate collar for play. The day collar you wear at all times, as a reminder of the arrangement. Like a wedding ring.”

Cloud slowly turned pink at the comparison.

“I… I didn’t know about that.”

“Would you like one? We can find something discreet, that AVALANCHE wouldn’t realize was more than a fashion choice, if they ever saw it—you’re fond of high-collared shirts anyway.”

“I think… yeah. I think I would,” Cloud said, a slow, shy smile dawning on his face. Genesis smiled softly in return.

“We’ll pick something out for you. Would you like a ceremony?”

“That isn’t a thing, is it?”

“Collaring ceremonies are very much ‘a thing.’ This arrangement is quite a big step, Cloud. It makes sense to celebrate it as such.”

Cloud paused, plucking at his pants in thought.

“If we do, it needs to be small. Just us. Nothing too fancy. And I do  _ not _ want it to be a surprise.”

“If you’d like. But we will plan it.”

Cloud frowned and said, “I can’t help?”

Genesis reached across the table to take his hand and said, “You’re about to trust us with significantly more. I think you can trust us to plan a party.”

“But I want to help. I’m a part of it, I should be able to put in part of the effort.”

“Nonsense. Let us spoil you,” Genesis said, lifting Cloud’s hand to kiss his knuckles. 

Cloud sighed with a scowl, knowing he was going to get nowhere with this. Instead, he turned to Sephiroth.

“You’ve been awfully quiet. What’s on your mind?”

“I simply have little to add,” Sephiroth said. “I have no second guesses about the arrangement like Zack and Angeal, and no outside knowledge of how this is usually done like Genesis.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a voice in planning how this goes.”

“I will have plenty of voice once we begin. Perhaps  _ you _ should be the one more concerned. You are the one giving up control.”

“Because I want to.”

“And you don’t have any stipulations? No lines you won’t cross?”

“I trust you guys not to push me too far.”

“No. Now is the time to voice any serious concerns you have, Cloud. If they are not written into our terms, they might be ignored. If there is anything you refuse to do, say so now.”

Cloud paused, ruffling his hair. Then he began drumming his fingers on the table in thought.

“The usual hard no’s from what we’ve always done stay the same. Outside of that, I don’t really see what the issues might be. Don’t tell me to hurt anyone, I guess? I’d tell you not to puppet me, but you can’t anymore. Uh. Don’t try to monopolize me; you’re all sharing. And let me keep control of my delivery business—that means a lot to me.”

Genesis, who had a working document on his PHS with bullet points for a contract, was furiously typing this all in before looking up and asking, “What else?”

“I dunno. I think that’s it? This is an in-progress thing. If we come up against something that’s a big no for me, I’ll tell you guys.”

“And we will listen,” Sephiroth reassured, squeezing Cloud’s knee beneath the table. “If you are clear that something is a significant issue, you’ll be allowed that grievance.”

Cloud smiled at him, the expression a little softer than usual.

“Like I said,” he reminded, “I trust you guys.”

“Does anyone else have any other points of order?” Genesis asked, scrolling through the list he had on his PHS. 

“If I do wanna safeword, is it the same words?” Cloud asked, looking back to Genesis, who nodded.

“It will be a little trickier now, but context and tone goes a long way in distinguishing what you mean when you say ‘red’ and ‘yellow.’ If we fail to pick up that you’re not referring to literal colors, you can always explicitly state that you are safewording. From there, you will be asked to explain why, which you will answer honestly, and a judgement will be made from there. Unless Angeal or Zack want to take your protest at face-value, which they are welcome to do.”

“And when are we officially starting? Does anyone need more time?” Cloud asked, looking around at everyone.

“Maybe let’s start tomorrow morning,” Angeal suggested. “When we wake up. One more night of normalcy, then we have a clear line to begin.”

“That will give me time to draw up a formal document. We’ll all sign tonight, but it is a living document. It will be adjusted accordingly, and re-signed as often as necessary,” Genesis said. 

“We’re not waiting on signing anything until your big ceremony?” Cloud said with a quirk to the corner of his mouth.

Genesis huffed a laugh and said, “ _ No _ . The collaring ceremony will happen whenever our trial period or period _ s _ are over. This is just so everyone is sure of what exactly we’re entering into, even in the interim. I’d rather be clear.”

“I think that’s wise,” Sephiroth agreed. “The less miscommunication, the fewer missteps.”

“I think that’s what we’re all hoping for,” Zack said. “Let’s start in the morning.”

“I’ll get started on dinner, then,” Angeal said, climbing out of his chair.

“I’ll give you a hand,” Sephiroth offered, following suit and giving Cloud’s shoulder a squeeze on his way.

“What’d’ya think, Spike? Movie night, or we hog the TV and play video games until everyone else is bored?”

Genesis rolled his eyes and said, “Mercy, please.”

Cloud laughed and said, “Maybe movie night. Let’s do a group activity before we start.”

With a twinkle of amusement in his eye, Zack said, “You’re the boss.” When Cloud laughed again, Zack stood and circled the table to kiss him before peeling away, saying, “Lemme see if I can find something good we haven’t seen before.”

Genesis finally put his PHS on the table. He looked at Cloud, now that they were alone, and propped his elbow on the table, his cheek on his knuckles.

“Are you excited?” Genesis asked, watching Cloud with a fond expression. Cloud turned faintly pink as he nodded.

“I… think this is something I’ve been looking for for a long time, now. It’s a little heady, finally getting to have it.”

Genesis smiled softly.

“This is something we all want to do for you. And a great gift that you are giving us, at the same time.”

Cloud’s smile turned a little sad as he said, “It feels a little selfish.”

“It shouldn’t. We all  _ want _ to do this. Even Zack, who was uncomfortable at first. You should have seen how desperate he was to find a way to wrap his head around this. He  _ wants _ to do this, particularly for you. But I think, him and Angeal both, are getting wrapped up in their idea of honor. In the ‘should’s that were plaguing you.”

Cloud frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, is it particularly honorable, to own a person? To have someone you keep subservient to you at all times, at your beck and call, who will do whatever you tell them?” There was a pause, wherein Cloud’s face grew dark, and Genesis nodded back. “You and I understand why it isn’t how it sounds. That you want this, and asked for it, and that it will make you happy. The aspect of honor in it is in making you their responsibility. If they own you, they must care for you and every need you have. I expect they will focus too heavily on that, at first, to soothe their sense of honor. They need to convince themselves that they are succeeding in caring for you before they will be willing to be selfish.”

“But I want them to be selfish.”

“I know, dearest. You have an infuriating habit of putting everyone’s needs before your own—which is part of why this arrangement will help you so much. I will do my best to soothe them, and steer them in a better direction, but do not be surprised when they are aggressively doting at first. They need to be sure they’re doing right by you, before they do anything else.”

Cloud sighed and said, “If that’s part of the growing pains, so be it. We’ll figure it out, one way or another.”

Genesis leaned forward to kiss Cloud, wrapping one hand around the back of his neck to draw him close. He left that hand there.

“Just give them time. And give Sephiroth time. He may go the opposite direction, and be too demanding at first. I have a harder time judging him these days, but with your history, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

“I  _ want _ you guys to just ask for what you want.”

“And that’s all well and good. But if he has you serving him hand and foot, tell him to fuck off.”

“That’s not in the rules.”

“Oh, my dear, it very much is. There is no clause I’m writing in that states you must mind your tongue. Tell him your duty is to help meet his needs, not to baby him. He is a fully grown adult and was once the general of the greatest army on the planet. He can handle washing his own dishes.”

“He might not be that bad.”

“No, he might not. But if he is, don’t feel obligated to tolerate it. I’m leaving you room, in this contract, to make your voice heard. Don’t let it go to waste.”

Cloud sighed, but nodded. Genesis shifted closer, pressing their foreheads together for a long breath.

“I love you, you know,” Genesis whispered.

“I do. I love you too.”

“We’ll make this work.”

“We will. Even if it takes a few tries.”

“Even if it takes many tries.”

Genesis pulled away, kissing the space between Cloud’s brows where his forehead had just been touching. Then he pulled away and got to his own feet.

“Come on, let’s make sure Zack doesn’t decide on utter garbage.”

“Do you think the others need help?”

“I think that Angeal gets cagey with more than one extra set of hands in his kitchen. Come along.”

Cloud shrugged, because he had seen that himself in the past; he just always felt bad if he wasn’t that extra set of hands. Instead of fussing, he took Genesis’s outstretched hand, and followed him into the living room, where Zack immediately piped up, asking about genre preferences.

One more night of normalcy. Then they would start their take two.

Cloud’s stomach was fluttering in anticipation all night.

He was not the only one. 


	33. Chapter 33

Cloud did not sleep that night. 

He wasn’t sure if it was anxiety or excitement that kept him up all night. But his heart kept racing and every time he forced his eyes closed, they just sprung back open again. He stared at the ceiling, sandwiched between Angeal and Zack. No one had needed to discuss the sleeping arrangement the night before. They would need the comfort of having him close. 

Still, Cloud was relieved when Angeal finally stirred, somewhere around 0500, like always. He was facing Angeal, Zack spooning him from behind, so he was able to watch him rub his eye and yawn. Angeal’s eyes flickered open and focused on Cloud immediately. There was a long pause where they just stared at each other. 

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” Angeal asked in a whisper. 

Cloud had a reassurance ready on his lips, but remembered his promise of honesty. He swallowed. 

“Couldn’t manage it.”

“Nerves, or excitement?”

“Bit of both.”

Cloud watched Angeal consider his next step, aware of the new dynamic that had been promised. He wrapped a hand around the back of Cloud’s neck and kissed him. 

“C’mon, then. Let’s see if breakfast helps.”

It was an order, if casually given. There was a certain weight to it, knowing this was the first of many, that this was their new normal, even if it wasn’t so drastically different from their old yet. 

Cloud gave him a small, encouraging smile and nodded, gently lifting Zack’s arm from his waist and shimmying out of his spot to follow Angeal out of bed. They tip-toed out of the room, mindful to let Zack sleep. They were early risers, but Zack never was. 

When they got downstairs, Angeal went about gathering supplies for breakfast, while Cloud started on coffee. 

Out of nowhere, completely unexpected, Angeal said, “Only one cup, for now.”

“... We each usually only have one cup?” Cloud said, unsure of Angeal’s meaning. 

“And you’re not having one this morning. I want you to try and sleep at least a few hours today. Coffee won’t help with that.”

Cloud felt a tingle of  _ something _ zip through him. Excitement, maybe, or simple joy. Contentment? It didn’t matter. He wanted the coffee, but he wanted the order even more. 

“One cup, then.”

Angeal stepped up next to him, one arm full of supplies. He wrapped his free arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to kiss Cloud’s hair, who felt a faint blush rise on his face. Angeal went back to prepping for breakfast without another word. 

Cloud got the coffee brewing before coming to stand next to Angeal. 

“Can I help?”

Angeal looked at him consideringly. 

“Go rest, for now.”

“I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

“Even just at the table is fine. Let someone who actually slept do the work.”

Cloud hummed, remembering Genesis’s warning that Angeal and Zack would be doting at first. He decided not to fight it and went to sit at the table, pulling up a banking app on his PHS, looking over his accounts for his business. 

Angeal whistled absently as he cooked, and Cloud felt himself relaxing. This, at least, was normal. And things were going fine so far. Great, even. 

Sephiroth was the next down, who paused to take stock of the situation at the foot of the stairs. Cloud looked up at him, putting his PHS down. 

“Morning,” he greeted, getting out of his chair. He made his way to the coffee maker to pour Angeal’s cup and hand it to him. 

“Good morning,” Sephiroth answered. 

“Morning,” Angeal called. He took his cup when Cloud handed it to him, smiling and saying, “Thanks, Cloud.”

“You want a cup?” Cloud asked Sephiroth, making his way back to the pot. 

“Yes,” Sephiroth said, coming to lean against the cabinet by Cloud. “Have you not made your own yet?”

“Cloud doesn’t get one this morning,” Angeal explained, flipping an egg. “He didn’t sleep last night.”

“I see,” Sephiroth said, watching Cloud prepare the coffee and making no offer to help. “Genesis wasn’t readily tired either—he was too excited, I think.”

Angeal snorted and said, “I thought I heard the headboard hitting the wall last night.”

A small smirk formed on Sephiroth’s lips as he said, “He slept fine after a bit of help.”

Cloud snorted as he closed the lid to the coffee pot, which gurgled to life. He went to step away, but Sephiroth grabbed him by the hips. He pulled Cloud close and into his arms, so Cloud was leaning back against his chest and Sephiroth’s cheek brushed his hair. 

“You could have asked for your own help, last night,” Sephiroth told Cloud. “I’m sure Zack and Angeal would have been happy to assist.”

Angeal paused and looked over to them, so Cloud averted his eyes, feeling a hint of a flush on his face. 

“I figured I’d be able to fall asleep.”

Sephiroth hummed and said, “Did you really?”

Cloud cursed himself, remembering his promises for honesty. 

“I wanted to at least try to sleep on my own.”

“And it wasn’t that you felt it would have been burdensome to ask for help?”

Cloud frowned—it was a fair point. 

“No. I swear, it didn’t cross my mind.”

Angeal looked thoughtful, but went back to preparing breakfast. 

Sephiroth hummed again. 

“Something to consider for next time, then.”

“Right,” Cloud muttered. 

Cloud eyed his PHS and the work he was doing longingly, but eventually sighed, and settled back into Sephiroth’s arms. He clearly wanted to hold him, and Cloud wasn’t really opposed to being held. This  _ was _ comfortable. And he did like Sephiroth’s casual, unspoken demand in the gesture. 

The kitchen was quiet, with the only sounds being the coffee pot and the pan Angeal was working with. Cloud covered the arms wrapped around his waist with his own, relaxing fully into the hold. By the time Angeal announced that he was done cooking, Cloud had to shake himself back to full wakefulness. He patted Sephiroth’s arms in a silent request to be released, which was granted. He grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and poured Sephiroth’s cup before handing it off, earning him a small smile. 

The three went to sit at the table, eating in easy silence. They were not the three chattiest members of this relationship, and didn’t mind the quiet. As Cloud ate, he found his nerves dissipating. The morning had gone well so far. Easy. It made him wonder what he had been so anxious about—except of course he had been anxious. This was a huge step to take. But in wake of the relief, he found the sleepless night catching up with him. It wasn’t long before he was stifling a yawn and pushing remnants of egg around on his plate. 

At one particularly poorly hidden yawn, Angeal finally interrupted, a laugh in his voice, “Go sleep, Cloud.”

“But…” But a lot of the day involved him. It would be hard to judge how this would go if he wasn’t present. 

“There’s plenty of hours left in the day,” Sephiroth said. “It’s hardly even 0700.”

Cloud frowned, but then a jaw-splitting yawn finally escaped him. He nodded as it finished. 

“Sleep well,” Angeal wished him, and Cloud smiled softly at him. He leaned over to kiss him, then got out of his chair. He paused by Sephiroth’s, one hand on the back of his chair, to lean down and kiss him as well. Sephiroth touched his wrist softly as he pulled away. 

Cloud went back up the stairs to his bed, slipping back under the covers. Zack’s eyes slitted his eyes open to look at Cloud as the bed jostled. 

“Howdy,” Zack mumbled sleepily, slipping an arm around Cloud’s waist when he was close enough. He pressed a kiss to Cloud’s brow. 

“Hey,” Cloud said easily, curling into the warmth of his embrace. 

“What’re you comin’ back to bed for?”

“Didn't sleep last night. Angeal sent me back up when I started nodding at the table.”

Zack huffed a tired laugh. 

“Sounds about right. Suits me just fine—love morning chocobo cuddles.”

“Don’t call me a chocobo,” Cloud grumbled, but his eyes were already closed. He was much too comfortable. 

“Sure thing, chickabo.”

“Fuck off.”

Zack laughed tiredly, then tucked Cloud beneath his chin and held him close. They fell back to an easy sleep. Zack dozed lazily, his sleep light, but Cloud drifted off properly in seconds. 

Cloud only woke later when a stray strip of light fell across his eyes, drawing him from sleep. He found the bed empty when he patted around in it and frowned. Zack would have stayed, if he only slept another hour or so. He must have been out for a while then. He wasn’t even sure what hour would have the light hitting his eyes—he was never in bed late enough for it to happen. 

He rolled over and looked at the nightstand. 1045. He groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face, before he flung the blanket back and got out of bed. 

He went down the stairs on silent feet as always, but even the quiet padding of his bare feet on the tile was enough to draw eyes. Everyone was sitting around the kitchen table—that was right, they all had the day off. It was Genesis who stood to greet him, a cup of coffee in his hands. He hooked a finger beneath Cloud’s chin to lift it and press a kiss to his lips. 

“Good morning, my love. Did you sleep enough?”

He smiled and nodded, saying, “Plenty.”

“It was only a few hours,” Angeal said, watching as Genesis passed Cloud the mug of coffee in his hands. He nodded when Cloud looked at him, checking that it was allowed now. Cloud took a small sip. 

“Only really need a few hours. Everything else is a luxury, and it’s not like I have a strenuous day planned.”

“Go sit, then.”

Cloud nodded and touched Genesis’s arm as he slid past him to take an empty seat at the table. 

“Hungry? There’s leftovers in the fridge from breakfast,” Zack said, 

Cloud shook his head. 

“I’m still good from this morning,” he said, resting his chin in his palm. “What’s the plan for the day?”

“Video games,” Zack said with a grin. “I’m finally gonna kick your ass in Chocobo Racers.”

“ _ Right _ ,” Cloud said. “And the rest of you?”

“Planning things you shouldn’t be privy to,” Genesis said easily, coming to sit next to Cloud and touching his shoulder. 

Cloud frowned and said, “What happened to no surprises?”

“There will be  _ some _ surprises,” Genesis said. “We won’t spring the ceremony on you. The details will be between the rest of us.”

Cloud frowned harder and said, “ _ Gen _ .”

“Yes, dearest?”

“You’re all going to go overboard.”

“Hardly. More likely, we will demonstrate exactly how much we care about you.”

“I don’t want anything lavish.”

“We’ll see.”

“If it makes me uncomfortable, you ruin the point of the ceremony.”

“Knowing you, you’ll be uncomfortable no matter what we do—you hate being the center of attention. Let us do this for you.”

“But—“

“Enough, Cloud. We’ll handle it.”

Cloud’s first instinct was to keep pushing—he always did. He was stubborn to a fault, and they were insisting on something he adamantly did not want. But that was the point of this all. He had agreed. They had all signed the contract the night before, and his signature was fresh in his mind. 

His teeth shut with a clack. 

Genesis looked appraising for a long second, before it melted into fondness. He took Cloud’s hand and raised it, kissing the knuckles. 

“Very good, Cloud.”

Cloud scowled, covering his pleasure at the praise with the pretense of being a sore loser. 

“Sure,” he grumbled. 

Genesis leaned closer, still holding Cloud’s hand, running his thumb over the knuckles. He pressed their cheeks together, his mouth by Cloud’s ear. 

He whispered, “I know you well enough to know when you’re acting, darling. I hardly believe you suddenly stopped enjoying praise.”

Cloud had to fight a shiver at Genesis’s sultry tone and the implications of past scenes. He swallowed a little too loudly to be casual. 

Genesis kissed his cheek and then leaned away, the look in his eyes exactly as sultry as his tone had been. Cloud looked down at his coffee cup and took an urgent sip. 

Zack wolf-whistled. 

Genesis rolled his eyes with a smile, but Cloud scowled and flipped him off, pink in the cheeks. 

“C’mon,” Zack said, getting out of his chair. “Chocobo Racers. Before Gen takes you upstairs to fuck you into another nap.”

“ _ Zack _ ,” Cloud groaned in the same breath Genesis said, “Now there’s an idea.”

Zack grabbed Cloud’s hand and tugged him to standing. Cloud had to make a quick grab for his coffee mug, only narrowly grabbing it before he was pulled too far away. 

He settled with Zack on the couch, sipping at his mug while Zack went about booting up their console and putting the correct game in. Cloud was trying painfully hard to eavesdrop on what was happening in the kitchen, but now Zack was chattering away. Cloud was under no delusion that this was not deliberate. They must have discussed it beforehand, trying to keep Cloud occupied while the rest of them planned. Cloud knew he should drop it, after having been firmly told, but he wanted to  _ know.  _ He was curious, and besides, he wanted to make sure they didn’t go overboard. He was starting to gather, though, that they didn’t much care if he thought they went too far. 

Cloud proceeded to soundly thrash Zack for hours. Every time Zack whined about Cloud winning, he told him it was because he had won live chocobo races. It was partially true—he knew where on the track we should be running the bird— but partially Zack just got too wound up. It made him clumsy, which meant Cloud kept winning. Cloud kept this to himself. 

Their only interruption for most of the day was when Genesis swept into the room balancing plates with sandwiches on them, dropping them off for lunch. Zack was kissed soundly but briefly as his plate was placed in front of him. Cloud, Genesis grabbed by both sides of his face, completely taking his attention from the game they were very much still playing. Genesis proceeded to kiss him breathless, until he won a faint moan from Cloud to drink down. He only pulled away when there was a trilling sound in the background. Cloud pulled away to lean sharply around Genesis to see that Zack had easily beaten him. Zack crowed his success while Cloud scowled up at Genesis, who looked smug and amused. 

“You’re welcome,” Genesis told Zack, still smirking as he turned and went back toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, Gen!” Zack said, unabashed at the blatant cheating.

Cloud grabbed his controller again with relish, unaware of when his grip had gone slack enough for it to fall into his lap. He began flicking through menus to pull up the next course.

“You’re gonna regret your cheap win,” Cloud said, determined to beat Zack by a mile this time.

“Bring it, chickabo.”

Cloud doubled down on his efforts, and before long, Zack was whining at him to ease up. If Zack wanted cheap victories, though, he was going to pay for them.

Cloud got so distracted by this that time slipped away from him easily. It felt like only half an hour later that Angeal was poking his head around the doorframe from the kitchen.

“Cloud?”

“Uh-huh?” Cloud said, only half paying attention at best.

“Come help me with dinner.”

“One sec.”

“Now, Cloud.”

Cloud had his mouth open to insist that it would only be a minute, he just wanted to win one last time. But then the reality of the situation caught up with him. He’d been given an order, and his brief protest had been quickly shot down. He pressed the pause button immediately.

“Coming,” he called, glancing up at Angeal in time to see him smile. He put the controller down and reached out to flick Zack between the eyes. “That ought to teach you not to cheat.”

“ _ Clouuuuud _ ,” Zack whined, for perhaps the thousandth time that day.

Cloud summarily ignored him as he went into the kitchen. 

Sephiroth and Genesis were sitting in front of a laptop that showed a preloaded background screen instead of anything interesting. Their discussion didn’t allow any more insight than the laptop screen.

“I disagree,” Sephiroth was saying.

“You’re being stubborn. The first option is clearly better.”

“The third would suit him best.”

“You’re being biased—that’s just your preferred color scheme.”

Cloud’s mind whirled; color scheme for what? Collars? Cakes? Plates? Stationary? Fucking streamers?

“Ignore them,” Angeal said, setting a hand low on Cloud’s back to steer him toward the kitchen proper. “You know how they squabble.”

“It would suit him perfectly,” Sephiroth insisted.

“If that is some sort of experience talking, it had better not be referencing any times or behaviors that will infuriate me,” Genesis countered.

“And if that were the reference I was making?”

“You’d be sleeping on the couch for a week.”

“Cloud, tell him I’m right.”

Cloud looked over his shoulder at Sephiroth oddly, before thanking Angeal, who passed him a knife and bag of carrots.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“That you look good in my colors.”

“What the hell are your colors? Green? Black and silver?”

“The latter.”

“Those are the colors I wear anyway. Gen, he never got me to play dress up, don’t worry about it.”

“See? No harm, no foul,” Sephiroth insisted.

“Doing nothing but matching his normal ensemble is  _ boring _ , Sephiroth. Option A is clearly better.”

“I don’t even like that style, much less the color.”

“Well, your choice is bland in color, and overly elaborate in style. Think of Cloud’s tastes, not your own.”

“You two, take it to the living room where he can’t hear you, will you?” Angeal interrupted. “And get Zack’s vote.”

“Your opinion?”

“Style from Option A, color from option B.”

Genesis huffed, much the way he often did when he wasn’t getting his way, but listened to Angeal. He got out of his chair and grabbed Sephiroth by the elbow, dragging him into the other room, the laptop in his free hand, calling, “Zack! I need your opinion, and your taste better not be as questionable as I remember.”

“I resent that! What are we talking about?” Zack called back.

Angeal rolled his eyes but passed Cloud a vegetable peeler.

“Sometimes, they’re like corralling cats,” Angeal whispered to Cloud, as if it was some great secret. Cloud snorted his amusement.

“I don’t know how you guys are all gonna agree on anything. You can all be so hard-headed when you’re sure you’re right,” Cloud said, taking a carrot out of the bag to begin peeling it.

“Pot, kettle,” Angeal said, glancing at Cloud side-long, who breathed a laugh.

“Alright, I earned that.”

They worked in companionable silence, only overhearing the occasional outburst from the other room. Angeal whistled what Cloud had come to learn was an old Banoran folk song. Cloud, who had heard it often enough but still didn’t know the words, hummed along. He didn’t notice the fond look Angeal gave him when he began accompanying him, too focused on his own work. 

Before long, there was nothing to do but stand beside Angeal as the man worked with the pan. Cloud leaned back against the counters, his arms folded over his chest as he watched. 

“How’s the day feeling for you?” Angeal asked, glancing at Cloud as he stirred the garlic in the pan.

“I should be asking you that,” Cloud countered. “I know you had some nerves.”

“It sounds like you did too—enough to cost you some sleep.”

Cloud looked down. He scuffed his boot on the tile.

“It’s a big change. It’s one I want—have wanted, for a long time, I think. But, well, I’m not used to getting warning before big changes. They usually just happen, you know? Then I’m scrambling to pick up the pieces and make sense of things. It was the having time to think about it that made me nervous, more than anything.”

Angeal hummed his acknowledgement.

“You’re used to thinking on your feet, not planning.”

“Right. That part of this is what feels most out of my element. The rest of today has felt… really natural. There’s been a couple of times I have to pause and remember: wait, yeah, I already agreed to listen. But every time I have that moment, and choose to let go, it… just feels right.”

Angeal glanced at him again, a soft, fond smile curling on his lips. 

“That sets a lot of my fears to bed, I think,” Angeal said, tossing the contents of the pan with a deft flick of the wrist. “I was worried that you’d gotten the idea in your head, but once we started, you wouldn’t want it. Which would have been fine, of course, we can call this off any time you want. But I didn’t want you trapped in it, because you felt obligated to continue just because we had started.”

“That won’t happen,” Cloud said with easy confidence. “First, because I  _ do _ want this—really badly, at that. But second, because I know that’s not what you guys would want. This isn’t what I used to do with Sephiroth. I know you guys need me on board.”

“I can’t say how reassuring it is to hear you say that without one of us putting the words in your mouth,” Angeal said, his shoulders relaxing from a line of tension Cloud hadn’t even noticed. “I think we were all a little worried. Some more than others, but still.”

Cloud checked his shoulder into Angeal’s and said, “There’s nothing to worry about. We’ve got this. Together, yeah?”

A tender smile crossed Angeal’s face as he agreed, “Together.”

An easy silence fell between them, until Angeal picked his whistling back up, and Cloud began humming along with him.

When Genesis came back in, he did so singing the lyrics to whatever the song was, but they were in Banoran, so Cloud still had no idea what the song was about.

Except, he gathered it was not quite the nursery rhyme Cloud had assumed it was, when Genesis said, “ _ That’s _ the one you thought to teach Cloud?”

Angeal flicked off the stove with a smirk, saying, “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“Considering you’ve done most of the things that song discusses  _ to him _ already, I doubt he’d mind.”

Cloud looked curiously between the two of them, saying, “Have you been whistling something raunchy this whole time?”

“Come help me set the table, Cloud,” Genesis said, a sparkle of amusement in his eye, though neither of them addressed his question.

Angeal just went back to whistling as he plated the food.

Dinner went much as any dinner among them ever had. Conversation was easy. Sephiroth was all dry wit that Genesis matched and countered. Zack was endless enthusiasm and the occasional biting remark that said he could keep up with the other two just as easily. Angeal attempted to wrangle them all, while Cloud largely watched. Of course, when he contributed, his own remarks kept pace with the others just as well, and had Angeal grumbling about how no one would think they got along from how they spoke to each other. It was all offset by so many flirts and endearments and casual compliments, though, that this wasn’t strictly true, and more of a gripe than anything.

They swapped sleeping arrangements that night, Zack and Angeal taking the spare room, while Genesis and Sephiroth joined Cloud in what used to be Cloud and Genesis’s room. Sephiroth pulled Cloud possessively back toward his chest, curling up behind him and holding him close. This was fine with Genesis, however, because it allowed him room to watch Cloud’s face, and drape an arm over his waist next to Sephiroth’s.

“How was today?” Genesis asked in a whisper, once they had all settled down to bed.

“Good,” Cloud said, an almost dreamy smile on his face. “There’s still a learning curve, but—definitely good.”

“You wanted to fight us at points,” Sephiroth said, his breath ruffling the fine hairs on the back of Cloud’s neck.

“I did. I’m used to arguing. But then I’d think of the contract, and see my little signature next to everyone else’s, and it wasn’t so hard to give up.”

“You, giving up,” Sephiroth said, snorting at the thought. “Who would have thought we’d see the day.”

Cloud elbowed him, but not hard.

“That’s different. You try to sail the cosmos with the husk of the planet again, and you’ll find I don’t give up quite as easy.”

Sephiroth’s hand splayed possessively over his chest as he kissed the back of his neck.

“The strength of your will always did draw me. Seeing you bend willingly is as attractive as seeing you refuse to do so.”

Cloud shifted in their arms, deliberately brushing his ass back against Sephiroth’s crotch, though it was brief. He still felt Sephiroth’s fingers tighten in his shirt.

“Hopefully you’ll keep finding it attractive,” he said, his voice light and teasing.

“The day I cease to find you attractive is the day I become another man.”

Genesis brushed Cloud’s cheek with his fingertips, saying, “I think we can all agree that seeing you bend, in any way but particularly over, will always be attractive.”

“A couple of letches, both of you,” Cloud said, sounding more amused than disgruntled.

“And I’m sure that was an ‘accidental’ shift in position you just did,” Sephiroth grumbled. They could all almost hear the way he rolled his eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cloud said, his tone just a bit too chipper to be sincere.

Genesis laughed and said, “Enough. You didn’t sleep enough last night, Cloud, and if we go much further down this line, it’ll be a while before you sleep still.”

“I could be okay with sleeping a little later,” Cloud said.

“It would guarantee that he  _ would _ fall asleep, delays aside,” Sephiroth agreed.

“In the morning, if you want,” Genesis said on a laugh. “For now, rest. Sephiroth, take it as a challenge to fuck him back to sleep just after he wakes up.”

“Challenge accepted,” Sephiroth said readily.

Cloud rolled his eyes and said, “Good Gaia.”

Genesis leaned forward and kissed Cloud carefully, saying, “ _ Sleep _ . There’s plenty of time tomorrow. And every day after that.”

Cloud settled down to sleep, his hand making a lazy fist in the front of Genesis’s sleep shirt, thinking that that was a promise he was going to hold Genesis to. 


	34. Chapter 34

Cloud both was and was not surprised that this arrangement was exactly as good for all of them as he had hoped. 

Part of him had doubted. He’d thought it a little self-indulgent of him to even ask, nevermind that Sephiroth was the one that brought it up. He thought he was twisting everyone’s arms—especially Zack and Angeal. He thought it would wear on them as they went, that with some time, they’d hit a breaking point and would have to stop. 

Not so. 

They were, strangely enough, all flourishing. 

Genesis took it in stride, but the way his thoughts constantly drifted to Cloud, to checking on him and making sure he was okay, was softening him. He had always been romantic, but he was becoming more tender than before. Being more thoughtful of Cloud was making him more thoughtful of everyone. There were fewer instances where his mouth ran away without him, saying something he didn’t mean and would have to apologize for. The extra consideration was helping quite a bit. 

Angeal was calming. Cloud, possibly because he met Angeal more recently, hadn’t noticed the constant line of tension in him. The way he was always just slightly on edge. But it was easy to see, in contrast, how relaxed he was now. He was freer with his affection than he had been. Cloud guessed that maybe the lingering uncertainties he had about their arrangement were fading. 

Zack’s confidence was coming back full swing. It wasn’t that he had been tentative by any means, just that he hadn’t been at his full potential. Coming back to a new world and new relationship had shaken him. But, having this control over Cloud, who flourished under it, gave him his old confidence back. He could handle this  _ definitely _ new arrangement, so he could handle anything thrown at him. Work seemed simpler, now. The outside world seemed simpler. It put everything in a different perspective, and he was thriving with that new angle. 

Sephiroth, for the first time since returning, truly seemed content. He had his struggles still—he was still trying to figure out what to do for work, and had taken over Cloud’s bookkeeping to keep busy. The outside world and him still butted heads often. But he handled even screaming, terrified children on the street with only a sigh of exasperation. It felt too bone-deep right, to have Cloud back under his sway, but willingly, now. It felt too right to have his old comrades back at his side, in the way he had always wanted them but never had them. With his lovers around them, exactly as they were, everything else seemed like a smaller problem to be handled with relative good humor. 

Cloud was all of the things the others were. He was constantly aware of the others, trying to anticipate orders, clued into their moods and wants, and tender with handling them. He was calm, in a way he’d never quite been before. Having the last say firmly out of his hands settled him more than he expected—there was no more second guessing, because he trusted these men. He was more confident as a result, not second guessing himself even when he wasn’t ordered. It was easier to be sure-footed when he knew that, if he made a poor choice, someone else would step in to correct him. He was deeply, deeply content, having finally found a way to get his needs met in a way he never had before. 

They were all settling in beautifully. 

There had been some small additions and edits to the contract, but after about a month, they had settled on one. They kept it, signed and complete, in a leather folder in Cloud’s home office, where it could be reached at any time. If future edits were needed, they would redo the document, but they were confident in it now. 

Cloud was hoping they forgot about the other part they had promised. 

The collaring ceremony, in and of itself, sounded fine. If  _ Cloud _ was the one arranging it, it would have been. But he knew those men, and he knew how they were about  _ him _ . It would be lavish, and over the top, and all the things that would make him uncomfortable. 

He knew they had the best of intentions—of course they did. They cared deeply, and wanted to show him that. He just—he was a modest man, who lived modestly. He didn’t know what to do with extravagance. He hadn’t been a First, like the rest of them, living in luxury while at home. He’d been dirt poor his whole life, until he came into enough gil while chasing Sephiroth. Now it all sat in a bank account, unused, because he simply didn’t know what to  _ do _ with that much money. 

He didn’t know what he’d do with a lavish party, where he was expected to receive a lavish gift. 

But he’d heard no mention of it in the last month. There was no planning he overheard, no images left up on screens as he passed, no schedules written down and left on tables. 

He had let slip a sigh of relief when he figured, one day, that they had simply let it slide.

He regretted that sigh later.

Over dinner one night, Genesis said, “Cloud, you aren’t working tomorrow, correct?”

Cloud looked up, still chewing, in confusion. They all knew each other’s schedules. They had a shared calendar, both on their PHS’s and on the wall. 

“No, I’m off. Why?”

“Tomorrow, at noon, you’ll go to Tifa’s. Spend the day how you’d like. At 1700, you’ll return home, and we will have your collaring ceremony.”

Cloud choked on his next mouthful, and had to cough a few times to clear it. He swallowed roughly.

“Sure,” he said, his voice choked off.

Angeal’s eyes narrowed as he said, “If you don’t want to do the ceremony, Cloud, say so.”

“I…” Cloud paused. Honesty. He had promised honesty. “I don’t mind the idea of a ceremony. I’m just afraid you all will go overboard. I know how Genesis gets on  _ anniversaries _ , and I’m, well, I’m just nervous.”

Zack pulled him over, an arm around his shoulder, to kiss his temple.

“We know you, Cloud. We won’t do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Trust us, yeah?”

Cloud leaned back to his own chair, but nodded slowly. 

Because he did trust them. And they did know him. Maybe it wouldn’t be overwhelming. Maybe they’d make some concessions to how he felt about extravagance. He could only hope so. 

Still, that night, it had been Zack he dragged to bed early. Zack, his first love, his first  _ lover _ , who may not know him the best anymore, but had known him the longest. There was something deep and sweet about being with Zack, something calming, that reminded him of times before everything had gone to shit. And, sure, this was different than what they had done back then. Zack was coming into his own with kink, after all. Doing this full time gave him significantly more confidence during scenes. 

And, after Zack had collared him, flogged his ass cherry red, and fucked him into the mattress, everything seemed so much simpler. 

Genesis had wandered in that night while Zack was giving him aftercare and joined right in seamlessly. And that felt  _ right _ , achingly so. His first love, and the first person he’d given his heart to after so much loss. Genesis, who had taken him by the hand and led him through this all, right up to this point. He owed Genesis more than he could say. 

Sometimes, Cloud thought about what would have happened had he never met Genesis. He would still be coping poorly, running away from everything at the drop of a hat, and sleeping through the entire population of Edge. Instead, he had four perfect lovers, and a lifestyle that fit him like a glove.

That night, when Cloud cupped Genesis’s face and thanked him, his heart in his eyes, it had been for the gift of this relationship. 

If Genesis had no idea what it was for, having come entirely unprompted, he was still willing to accept it. He kissed Cloud back and quietly encouraged him to sleep. In the aftermath of it all, Cloud was actually able to sleep that night, instead of staying up worrying the whole time like he’d expected.

He  _ had _ learned from when they first started this, thank you.

The next morning, he was back on edge, constantly trying to remind himself that he trusted them, he trusted them, he trusted them. No matter how many times he reminded himself, he couldn’t quite get himself to calm down fully. 

Not until Sephiroth wrapped his hand around the nape of Cloud’s neck, the grip heavy and grounding. Cloud sighed in relief and looked up at Sephiroth, strangely desperate. 

“Come with me,” he said, and Cloud had simply nodded his response. When Sephiroth handed him his sword on their way out the front door, he thought nothing of it. 

He was starting to think something of it, when Sephiroth led them to Aerith’s church. 

Cloud came to a stop outside, feeling anxious again.

“What’s this about?”

Sephiroth turned and looked at Cloud evenly.

“I am going to remind you exactly how well I know you, how deep I have been inside your mind. I will remind you that I am not that man any longer, and that I use that knowledge to your benefit, now.”

“How?” Cloud asked, his brow furrowing.

“The way you learn lessons the best.”

Between one blink and the next, Masamune had appeared in Sephiroth’s hand, and he was rushing Cloud in a blur. It was only instinct that let Cloud get his sword in place in time to block. 

Cloud’s heart raced in his ears, the sound of his blood pumping near deafening. He fought exactly as desperately as he always did, always holding on by his fingertips, the way every fight with Sephiroth had ever gone.

But he was distracted. He couldn’t help but wonder  _ why? _ Had Sephiroth snapped? Had something been too much? Was he going back to his old ways, because if he was, Cloud didn’t know that he could stop him, not anymore. He wasn’t sure he could kill the man he loved so dearly. 

His hesitation came out in every swing of his sword. His angles were all off, his tempo jarring, his strength wavering. If this was a serious fight with Sephiroth, he’d be dead by now.

If this was a serious fight with Sephiroth, he’d be dead by now.

This wasn’t a serious fight with Sephiroth.

It dawned on Cloud all at once what was happening here, and once he had his realization, it was easy to read in every gesture. Sephiroth wasn’t trying to kill Cloud at all. He was working out his nerves with battle—the single sure-fire way to calm Cloud down. He was showing Cloud that they may have had those battles to the death in the past, but things were different now. He was still the man Cloud had known, had still been terrifyingly deep inside his mind, but he wasn’t using that knowledge to hurt anymore. He both was that man and wasn’t anymore. Now, they didn’t fight for the sake of the Planet. They fought to work out Cloud’s nerves before making a show of their commitment to each other.

When that knowledge sank in, the spar came easily. Cloud had thought the two of them would never be able to spar, that he would fall back on instinct and try to kill Sephiroth, but he didn’t. He was too used to reading Sephiroth and relying on any expression or gesture to know what was coming next. As clued into the man as he was, it was easy to see he wasn’t taking this seriously. And when Sephiroth wasn’t, it was easy for Cloud to not be serious about it either.

In fact, it was kind of  _ fun _ .

Fun in a way that sparring with the others both had and hadn’t been. Because those spars had been fun, yes, but not like  _ this _ . Cloud still had to restrain himself so much, even when fighting all three of them. With Sephiroth, he didn’t have to hold back. They could go at each other, tempering themselves only enough not to cause harm, without worrying about the other keeping up. They were the only ones who  _ could _ keep up with each other, after all.

The battle came to as sudden a halt as it had started. Cloud had the tip of his blade to Sephiroth’s throat, and Sephiroth came to a standstill in an instant. He let Masamune disappear and raised his hands in defeat, a small, sincere smile curling over his lips. 

Cloud lowered First Tsurugi, that same small smile mirrored on his own face.

“Thank you,” Cloud said, as sincere as his smile. He swung the sword onto his back.

“Do you feel better, now?” Sephiroth asked, closing the distance between them.

Cloud’s smile this time was a little wider, reaching up to cup the back of Sephiroth’s neck and draw him down for a kiss.

“Much,” he said, before pulling away, and letting Sephiroth stand again. Flippantly, he said, “Maybe it was all worth it, if you’re gonna use all that knowledge this way.”

Sephiroth reached out this time, cupping Cloud’s face between his palms. He leaned down to press their foreheads together simply, his hair curtaining them from the rest of the world. 

“There is no other way such knowledge is fit to be used. It is for your benefit, and that alone.”

“Careful,” Cloud said, his voice soft. “Can’t let it get out to the public that your heart is so soft. Who knows what they’d say?”

“I have never once given a damn about the public, and I refuse to start now. That’s  _ your _ problem, these days.”

Cloud laughed and leaned away—when he did, Sephiroth pulled himself upright again. 

“Just don’t make them too big a problem for me, alright?”

“I make no promises.”

They made their way home then, with barely enough time for Cloud to shower and head out to make it to Tifa’s by noon. He pointedly ignored any fond looks he garnered when he came home visibly less anxious. 

Still, when Cloud got to Tifa’s, he knew immediately that she’d been let in on some sort of secret. She looked unbearably smug as soon as she saw him.

Cloud propped his hands on his hips and said, “Spill.”

“Nuh-uh. I’m sworn to secrecy,” she said with a grin.

“So you  _ do _ know something.”

“Oh I know plenty about what you’re in for tonight. I just can’t ruin the surprise.”

Cloud sighed—Tifa could out-stubborn him most days. He let his arms drop and looked at her with his lips pursed.

“Okay, just—did they go overboard? Should I be worried? They keep saying I shouldn’t, but I know how they can get, Genesis in particular, and—”

“Cloud,” Tifa interrupted on a laugh. “Relax. You’ll love it.”

Cloud looked unsure about that, but sighed. Tifa knew him well, and had no stake in the matter except their general happiness. She was a good objective third party. She would have reined them in if they got out of hand. 

Cloud spent the five hours he was there wondering what the hell the others needed  _ five hours _ to prepare for that wouldn’t be extravagant. Tifa kept him busy to try and keep his mind off of it, cleaning the bar and washing dishes and helping do prep work for the food for the bar that night. But he’d still left Seventh Heaven with ample time to get home. 

“Relax about it, alright?” Tifa said. “Enjoy yourself. They did good with this one.”

Cloud heard those words ringing in his ears the whole way home. 

He finally got to his own front door and unlocked it, but hesitated. He knocked, unsure if he should just come right in, or if that would ruin some surprise. 

The second he knocked, the door was opened and Genesis stepped out, snapping the door shut behind him. Cloud raised an eyebrow, but Genesis just took his time kissing him hello.

“How was Tifa?”

“She was fine. Smug as hell about whatever you all told her.”

“Mm, not unexpected. Are you ready to find out for yourself?”

Cloud sighed, but a small smile was on his face when he said, “Will you just let me into my own home?”

“First thing’s first,” Genesis said, holding up the blue, silken blindfold they used for play that Cloud hadn’t even noticed in his hand. “We can’t have the surprise ruined, can we? And you’re underdressed.”

Cloud took the time to fully drink in what Genesis wore. When he looked closer, a slow, fond smile curled over his lips.

Genesis was in a pair of tight, black leather pants, with a simple black v-neck on top, under a red blazer. He was barefoot, which was the only thing spoiling it from being an exact re-creation of what Genesis had been wearing the night he and Cloud met. 

Cloud looked back up, raising an eyebrow to say, “So is the goal for the night slutty or formal?”

“I’ve never understood why the two can’t go together,” Genesis said.

“Let me rephrase: what are the others wearing?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“ _ Genesis _ ,” Cloud laughed.

“There are no tuxedos waiting for you inside, Cloud. Not even a tie in sight.”

Cloud sighed then, snatching the blindfold from Genesis. He wrapped it around his head, tucking the ends in deftly, the way they did for play, instead of a large knot in the back. Who knew what he was in for, after all?

He heard Genesis open the door, and then step around him, his hands sliding onto his shoulders. He felt Genesis’s hair tickle the back of his neck as he dipped his head to kiss behind Cloud’s ear.

He then steered Cloud inside, reminding him quietly of the lip of the door frame so he wouldn’t trip. He heard the sound of the door shutting and locking behind them once they were safely inside. 

Cloud was keyed into what senses he had left as Genesis steered him through the townhouse. There was faint music playing—a lone piano. Cloud’s heart tightened; he’d never told them he had played piano as a child. Tifa had taught him some, and he had loved it, but he and his mother had never been able to afford one. She had always encouraged him to get one now, but he had been hesitant about going back to it. He listened to piano music often instead, trying to scratch the itch without being able to play. 

Tifa did have a hand in this, after all.

Cloud swallowed. They were going out of their way to make this meaningful in even small ways. That was a good touch. A simple touch. The kind of gesture that  _ meant _ something—to Cloud, at least, it meant much more than throwing money around. 

He could smell something on the air. It smelled like fresh baked bread, and the anise and blackberry pastries they got from the bakery down the road. The ones Cloud liked the most, but no one else had a taste for. There was something else, something with strawberries? A dessert for the rest of them, then, good. He would have fussed if they all ate something he knew they didn’t like, just for his sake. 

There was something savory underneath it all, but before Cloud could try to pick it apart, they were at the stairs. Genesis warned him, and put his hand on the railing, before leading them up and into the second bedroom. When the door was safely shut behind them, Genesis unwound the blindfold and set it aside.

Cloud looked around. It looked… normal. He was expecting candles and rose petals, but there was just the desk light on to keep the room in some low light, matching the little that was streaming in from the curtained window. Cloud went to go stand at the edge of the bed, where an outfit had been laid out for him.

“If you’d like something different, I can go get it for you.”

Cloud looked through the clothes. Tight, black jeans. The baby blue v-neck that matched his eyes so well. The soft, beige cardigan Cloud wore on the rare day it got cold enough for it. It wasn’t  _ quite _ as cold as he liked it to wear the cardigan, but it wasn’t warm enough that he’d be uncomfortable in it. Something nicer than what he normally wore, with some concessions made for his comfort.

“No, this… this is perfect,” he muttered as Genesis came to stand behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He kissed behind Cloud’s ear again.

“A good start, then.”

Cloud could hear faint piano music playing here, too. Were there speakers throughout the house? How many sets had they bought? Was this where the extravagance was? Because Cloud was still surprised that things seemed so… simple. It wasn’t that they weren’t elaborate, because it was clear much planning had gone into just what he’d experienced so far, but there wasn’t money thrown around in the way he had expected.

Genesis started gently undressing Cloud, pausing to kiss and caress every inch he revealed. By the time he was naked, he was breathing harder than he had expected, and pulled Genesis in for a searing kiss before they started redressing him. Genesis chuckled into his mouth, cupping his face to kiss him back.

But before Cloud wanted him to, Genesis pulled away to whisper against his mouth, “I’m not sleeping with you before the ceremony.”

“There’s a perfectly good bed right here,” Cloud whispered back.

“Later, Cloud.”

Cloud sighed but leaned away, Genesis following the motion. He was redressed before he wanted to be, straightening his clothes nervously. Genesis looked at him fondly before kissing him briefly again.

“Ready for the rest?”

“Do I need a blindfold again?”

“Not this time.”

Genesis gestured for Cloud to go first, so he stepped forward and opened the door. He looked down the hall to see no lights on, but he could see just fine in the dark. It wasn’t  _ fully _ dark regardless, just starting to hit twilight. The hall looked completely normal. Even the staircase looked normal. 

What did not look normal was the kitchen.

The curtains were drawn back to let in the sweet, golden light of the evening. There were flowers from the Church in a vase on the table. There was some kind of garland of purple flowers strung along the cabinets, hanging down from a soft white silk that covered them. There were fairy lights in among the flowers and down the fabric. The table, the counters were given the same treatment. 

It was still clearly home, but it looked… magical. 

Cloud’s heart almost stopped in his chest. He reached a hand back, and Genesis reached for him in return. Cloud tightened his hand around Genesis’s.

“You guys didn’t have to,” Cloud said quietly. 

Because it was  _ perfect _ . It was beautiful and looked like a dream, but was also not  _ lavish _ . This was remarkably tame for something Genesis had a hand in, but it also looked like something Cloud would have done, if left in charge of the ceremony. 

“You like it?” Genesis whispered back, squeezing Cloud’s hand.

“It’s perfect.”

Genesis kissed his hair and said, “Come see the rest, then.”

He led Cloud to the living room, where all the furniture had clearly been moved to the side. It was all covered in the same white silk, garlanded with flowers and lights. Some of the windows were covered, giving them privacy from the neighbors, but the wide window to their concrete backyard, fenced in and private, let in the golden evening light. The same soft piano music drifted in from hidden speakers. 

The rest of them stood at a table, given the same treatment as the rest, too tall to be one Cloud already had. It looked suspiciously like one of Tifa’s standing bar tables—he hoped that was where it was from, and that they hadn’t bought something they would have no place to put later. 

They were all straddling that line of formal and casual. Angeal was in a white button down, a few buttons undone and sleeves rolled to his elbows, with dark jeans to match. Zack was in a short-sleeved button down, all buttons done up, blue with a navy grid overlaid, and black jeans beneath. Sephiroth was wearing familiar black leather pants, but the thigh-high boots were missing, as was the coat. Instead, he wore a black turtleneck and black blazer overtop. 

Not tuxedos. No ties. They all weren’t even wearing shoes—which Cloud wanted to joke was for the sake of getting into bed faster later, but knew it wasn’t quite true. Even Sephiroth couldn’t look formal and intimidating in socks. 

They all filed around the table to stand in front of it, closer to Cloud, who  _ had _ noticed a white box on the table, but purposefully didn’t acknowledge it. 

Cloud had to clear his throat, and no, he was  _ not _ teary (was what he planned on telling anyone who asked later). 

“Guys, this is… this is beautiful. I—I don’t know what to say.”

“Lucky for you, you’ve got some time to think—it’s not over yet,” Zack joked, and Cloud breathed a laugh he hadn’t been expecting. Soft smiles went around, and Genesis steered Cloud to the others, where Genesis fell in line with them himself. 

“We’re here today,” Genesis began, “to confirm what we already know. To make concrete and physical the ties that already exist between us. I ask for nothing we do not already give—all of us. Instead, we speak it aloud—we breathe life into what binds us. We acknowledge, and cement, and solidify what we already know. Today, we fasten our collar around Cloud’s neck, and by doing so, fasten it around our own.”

Cloud swallowed. He hadn’t prepared vows. He hadn’t known this was part of it. Was he supposed to give some sort of speech? Genesis was the one for impassioned speeches—he was sure that was why he was the one delivering it now. 

Before he could panic any longer, Zack stepped forward. He took Cloud’s hands and cradled them between his own.

“With the collar we give you today,” Zack started, his voice low, but the emotion behind it giving it a strange strength, “I swear to guide you and guard you.” He leaned down, and Cloud leaned up on instinct, the two sharing a simple kiss. With that, Zack stepped back into line.

Angeal stepped forward, cupping Cloud’s face between his hands.

“With the collar we give you today,” he said, his voice soft and warm like his eyes, “I swear to keep you safe—from the world, and from yourself.”

Cloud’s breath hitched as his face was tilted up for another kiss. He barely recovered by the time Sephiroth was stepping forward. He settled his hand around the back of Cloud’s neck at the nape, a familiar, grounding gesture between them. It settled Cloud, who looked up at Sephiroth, tears he would deny later standing in his eyes. 

“With the collar we give you today,” Sephiroth said, his voice strong and fervent, “I swear to lead you—but only to where you want to go.”

Sephiroth leaned down and kissed him, their lips pressed together longer than the other kisses had lasted. There was an urgent need for Sephiroth to be sure that Cloud knew he meant the words—and the kiss carried that through.

Then he was stepping back, and Genesis stepped forward. He carded his hand through Cloud’s hair, his eyes soft and warm as Cloud had ever seen them. He cupped Cloud’s cheek, his thumb stroking over the arching bone there.

“With the collar we give you today,” Genesis said, his voice soft and secret, just for them, “I swear to love you and keep you—for as long as you want to stay our own, and into the Lifestream otherwise.”

Genesis leaned down to kiss him, sweet and gentle. Then Genesis was turning away and grabbing the white box off the table. He pulled it open and inside lay a rose gold circle. The collar was simple, just a ring of metal, soft and rounded at the edges. There was a hinge at one side and a hole at the other and a… small screw? Yes, there was a little screwdriver Genesis tucked into his pants pocket, along with the screw. The screw was just a little cylinder with raised edges. It would keep the collar in place without showing at all. It was also distinctly not something Cloud could take off on his own without breaking it. 

He came to stand in front of Cloud with the collar in his hands.

“Cloud,” Genesis started, his voice clearer this time, stronger. “From you, we ask only one thing. Do you swear to allow us—to guide you and guard you, to keep you safe, to lead you, to love and keep you?”

Cloud had to clear his throat, blinking back tears. 

“Yes,” he whispered. 

Genesis smiled at him softly. He reached out and took Cloud’s hands, raising them, and then pressed the collar into his palms.

“Then we ask you to place the collar around your own neck, to show us.”

Cloud had to swallow thickly. Because  _ this _ , this was what had always been at the heart of it. Submission, obedience,  _ yes _ , but freely given. Different from what he had with Sephiroth before. His hand wasn’t forced, his mind bent until it caved. They were putting the choice in his hands, quite literally. They wanted to give him this, but if he wanted it, he had to step forward and take it for himself. 

Cloud opened the collar and settled it around his throat, holding it closed with both hands.

Genesis walked behind him and quietly fastened the collar, screwing it into place. It fit perfectly around his throat—snug, but not tight, and not loose. Genesis went to place the screwdriver on the table, Cloud’s fingers still lingering on the collar. 

When Genesis turned back to him, all eyes were on him, and—and he didn’t know what to say. It was perfect. It was everything to him, everything he could have ever asked for and more. He offered a teary laugh. 

“I don’t—I can’t kiss you all at the same time, but I want to,” Cloud said.

There was soft laughter, and then Zack reached out, grabbing his hand and tugging. He pulled Cloud into their waiting arms, the lot of them folding around him, enveloping him in the best way.

And it was perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I swear I will finish with the night of the ceremony but this chapter is already pretty long, so it'll be split into two!


	35. Chapter 35

Dinner wasn’t necessarily long, just longer than expected. 

It had been a Nibel stew that Cloud  _ knew  _ Tifa had a hand in—it tasted so close to his mother’s, and there was no way that came from a recipe book. It had been served with bread still warm from the oven. Anise and blackberries pastries followed for Cloud, while the others had a strawberry version. The food was amazing, and Cloud loved it, and he refused to rush through it. 

But he was still a quick eater—they all were. Military habits. But Cloud kept stopping every few bites, his hand drifting up to touch his new collar with a dazed look to his eye. Every time he did, the others also paused to look at him fondly. It drew out the whole affair much longer than was necessary, but they were enjoying themselves far too much to try to hurry Cloud along. 

Still, they got to the point where the food had been finished and Cloud was eyeing the dishes like he was going to start on them. Genesis swept out of his chair and pulled Cloud’s out while he was still sitting in it, making Cloud huff and look up at him. 

“The dishes will be there in the morning. Come along.”

Angeal and Zack took that as a cue to start gathering plates and bring them to the sink to be handled later. Cloud scowled, but let Genesis manhandle him to standing. Sephiroth followed behind him, pushing Cloud’s chair back in before they could reconsider. 

“You aren’t seriously planning to leave them overnight,” Cloud complained. 

“You act like they’ll be foul come morning,” Genesis said, taking Cloud’s hand and leading him toward the stairs. Sephiroth rested one hand on the back of Cloud’s neck as a reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Maybe not, but it’s gross. Are we really leaving Angeal and Zack?”

“They’ll be up in a moment. We won’t get far before they follow,” Genesis soothed. 

Cloud sighed, but let himself be led up the stairs and into his bedroom, where Genesis opened the door and stepped in to one side. Cloud paused in the doorway. 

He burst out laughing. 

Well, he had found where they decided to spend their money. 

Inside was the most ludicrously sized bed he had ever seen. It was absurd. He didn’t know they  _ made _ beds that size. He had no idea how the hell they got it into the room in the first place. 

“What the hell did you all  _ do _ ?”

“We’ve all been complaining about not being able to all fit in a single bed. It was time for a solution.”

“So you found a trampoline-sized bed for our room?”

“Yes, and you’ll be very glad for it, once we’re all in it together.”

Cloud snorted, his last bout of laughter, but let it go. Genesis did have a point, it was just going to take him a while to get used to the sight of the damn thing. Genesis patted his ass and nodded toward it. 

“Undress and get in the center by the headboard.”

“Yes  _ sir _ ,” Cloud said, too much laughter in his tone to be polite. 

“Watch yourself, pet,” Genesis said, and Cloud laughed outright. 

“What, are you going to belt me the night after our ceremony?”

“I’m amenable to changing our plans, if you’re going to be a brat.”

“No sir, being a brat is  _ your _ specialty.”

Genesis laughed then, because Cloud did have a point. He was quite the brat when he subbed and had no problem admitting that. 

“Bed, Cloud.”

Cloud glanced up at Sephiroth to see him shucking off his blazer. He folded it neatly and placed it on the dresser before raising an eyebrow and glancing pointedly down at Cloud’s clothes. Taking the hint, Cloud began to undress, dropping his clothes haphazardly on the floor. 

As Sephiroth watched him kick the pile of clothes into the corner, he said, “I swear, you can be as bad as Zack.”

“Nah, I’ll clean before it gets that bad.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes but nodded toward the bed. Cloud followed his directions and climbed onto the bed, crawling his way up to the headboard in the center. 

He glanced over at Genesis, who was digging in their toy chest and grumbling something about how he knew they had skipped a step in their preparation for tonight. Cloud grinned—a little slip up made it all feel real and less like a dream. 

But then Sephiroth was climbing up the bed and parting Cloud’s bent legs to spread them. Cloud was more than happy to kiss him back as Sephiroth cupped his face and drew him close. Cloud pressed them chest to chest, sinking his hands into Sephiroth’s hair. 

He lost track of time, too focused on pressing meaning into the kiss, all of his gratitude for the collar he was still so aware of around his neck. Sephiroth gently pulled and tugged at his limbs until Cloud was laying on the bed, his hands pinned above his head. 

Cloud licked his lips as Sephiroth pulled away to look down at him. 

“Are you ready?” Sephiroth asked, shifting Cloud’s hands to one of his own so he had a hand free. 

Cloud sucked in a breath, and his voice shook a little with the force of feeling as he said, “Yes, master.”

They had had a long, hard conversation about honorifics. Many of them were spoken for. Genesis was already ‘sir,’ Angeal was already ‘daddy.’ Zack had jokingly thrown around ‘your honor’ and ‘boss man’ before deciding he wanted to skip titles altogether. It left the big one, the one that, with all good sense, Sephiroth should not use. 

But, following good sense, Sephiroth shouldn’t call Cloud ‘good boy’ either, and that had gone fine. There was so much history between them, history that played directly into these roles, and it felt wrong to ignore it. He trusted Sephiroth, he knew he was not his master in the same way anymore. There were boundaries, now, and different intentions. Cloud could stop things, if he needed, if Sephiroth began to abuse that power. 

In light of their history, in light of everything that had changed, nothing but ‘master’ felt right. Sephiroth had put in the work to change. He had earned the title. 

And it felt right, hanging in the air between them. There was a pause, where they looked at each other. A small smile curled on Sephiroth’s lips, and a matching one appeared on Cloud’s. 

There was the pointed sound of someone clearing their throat. 

Cloud went to look, but Sephiroth turned his face back to look at him. He held his hand out to the side, and when he pulled it back, he had soft white rope in it. 

“Do you want to know what you’re in for?” Sephiroth asked as he shifted, straddling Cloud’s hips. He brought Cloud’s wrists together, and waited until Cloud held them against one another in front of himself on his own. Cloud wanted to look around, to see if Angeal and Zack had arrived yet, but he didn’t need instructions repeated to him. 

“I trust you all.”

“That isn’t what I asked.”

“No, master. I’d like it to be a surprise.”

“Good boy,” Sephiroth said, watching with heavy lidded eyes as Cloud shivered at the praise. He tied off the end of the rope to keep Cloud’s wrists bound but the rope out of the way. 

Then Sephiroth looked back and said, “Would you like to do the honors? It seems appropriate.”

Cloud followed his line of sight, hoping it was allowed. Genesis was standing to one side, already undressed and handing rope to Angeal, who winked at Cloud and went to the foot of the bed. Zack was undressing by the door. 

“I gave him his day collar. You ought to do this one.”

“You’ve dommed him the longest.”

“You dommed him first, however questionable the consent may have been.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Cloud? Does it?”

Cloud looked between them and swallowed. He hadn’t thought of it in that light before. 

“It does, sir.”

He couldn’t ignore their history here, any more than he could when choosing an honorific. 

“There you have it,” Genesis said. He held out the collar to Sephiroth, who paused for a second. Then he held it up for Cloud to see. 

It was similar to his last in that it was soft, padded that was largely blue. Instead of cornflower blue, it was the color of forget-me-not petals. The ring at the front and buckle for the back were a rose gold that matched his day collar. The special part was the green. Radiating from the ring, threads of pastel green twisted through the blue. It looked like where the Lifestream hit the sea, where Holy threaded through the sky. Like mako radiating from a pupil through an iris. 

Like Cloud’s iris. 

It was just like his eyes. 

There was a pause in the room, a beat of silence as everyone watched Cloud’s reaction. They all heard his soft gasp as he understood. 

It was just for him. It was what made them different from everyone else, but the same as each other. It was their shared history. It was what bound them together—exactly as a collar should be. 

He blinked back tears, and bit at his lip. 

“You didn’t have to,” he whispered. 

“We wanted to,” Sephiroth whispered back. “Lean up?”

Phrased like a question, because this one needed to be. Like his day collar, he had to participate in putting it around his own neck. Cloud was more than happy—if his hands were free, he would have attached it himself. 

With the collar securely fastened around his neck, the ring clicking softly against his day collar as he moved, Cloud rested his head back on the pillows. Sephiroth shifted back, kneeling between Cloud’s spread legs instead. 

With the moment passed, Angeal tapped his foot to let him know where he was before grabbing his ankle. He positioned his legs spread to attach each ankle to the posts of the bed. He was their resident rope expert, though he had taught them all some. Sephiroth had picked it up especially fast. 

Genesis came to sit at Cloud’s left side, and Zack circled the bed to sit at his right. 

“Now, pet,” Genesis said, reaching down to hook a finger beneath his chin and tilt his face to force eye contact. “I want you to show us how you get yourself off when you’re alone.”

Cloud felt his brow furrow in confusion. Because, first of all, they knew that damn well. They knew how he went about it, and the general tricks for getting him off. They knew he certainly didn’t go about it with his hands tied or his ankles attached to the posts. 

“I don’t—oh.  _ Oh _ .”

It was a callback to his first BDSM attempt with Genesis. That was how this all began, that simple order. He remembered misunderstanding the order, too used to his old habits from the clubs, too used to teasing. 

Maybe Genesis  _ had _ infected him with some bratty tendencies. Because there were two ways to go about this: follow the order or follow history. And if they were being sentimental tonight—why not?

So Cloud made direct eye contact with Genesis and trailed his fingertips over himself, clearly teasing. Genesis arched an eyebrow as Cloud made the loosest fist around himself, his palm just skimming his still-hardening cock. As Cloud continued to tease himself to hardness, Genesis reached out, grabbing Cloud’s chin roughly. Cloud couldn’t help his little grin. 

“I let it slide once as a misunderstanding, when you were new. Now you know better, and I know you’re being a brat. I’ll tame you, if you’d like, but let’s not change this evening’s plans, hmm?”

Cloud blinked slowly back at him, his smile going soft. 

“Yes, sir,” he said, tone much gentler. 

Genesis gentled himself in response, his grip loosening. He leaned down to kiss Cloud softly. 

“Very good, pet.”

Cloud followed the order correctly, that time. Rough, fast, a bit of a twist of the wrist. It was heady, doing this with all of them watching. It was hard not to close his eyes so he wouldn’t have to watch them watching, but he remembered his orders from the first time they did this. Genesis had been insistent that he make eye contact. 

Angeal had appeared at Zack’s side at one point, having undressed. They were all comfortable in how they were sitting. Angeal was slowly stroking Zack. Sephiroth had a hand around himself. Genesis simply sat and watched, his gaze hungry. 

It didn’t take long for Cloud to get close. He considered trying to rush, to push through before the order he knew was coming actually arrived. He knew, however, that they would beat him to the punch. 

“May I please come?” he asked, his voice shaking with need. 

“No,” Genesis said. The others seemed content to let him lead for now. When Cloud shivered out a sigh and pulled his hand away, Genesis threaded their fingers together. “You may come when you are told to, and not sooner. When you are told, you are expected to follow through. Do you understand?”

Cloud nodded slowly. He remembered how this went. He had been edged until he begged for release and then forced to orgasm until he begged for mercy. He didn’t doubt that this would be much the same. 

Genesis leaned down to kiss him, then said against his mouth, “If you beg sooner than you did last time, I’ll know, and I’ll just ignore you. Break only when you have no choice, hmm?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good boy.”

Cloud grinned, and felt it echoed on Genesis’s lips. It was nice to have those words unlocked, even if it was still new. He had been having none of the old problems he did with the phrase, no flashbacks to when it had been used against it. The teeth had been pulled from the words, when Sephiroth changed. When Sephiroth could look at him as softly as he was right now, could kiss him the way he had only minutes ago. 

“Begin again,” Genesis told Cloud, so he did. The same process, stroking himself exactly how he did while he was alone, only Genesis stopped him before he reached the brink with a touch to his wrist. Cloud pulled his hands away, looking up at him in confusion. Having his gaze pulled away meant he didn’t notice Sephiroth leaning forward until his mouth was around his cock, and Cloud couldn’t stop his strangled moan. He pressed his hands to his face, trying to hold himself back.

He knew that Genesis really would just ignore him if he begged too soon. In all likelihood, he’d hold out even longer as punishment. He had to wait until it was driving him mad. But Sephiroth was good at this. He had no idea where he had picked up the skill—for all Cloud knew, he was just mimicking porn. Sephiroth always had picked up every new skill quickly. It didn’t much matter how he had learned, he was clearly more than willing to put the skill to use. He pressed his nose into the thatch of hair at the base of Cloud’s cock, swallowing around him until Cloud whimpered. 

But, as soon as he grew close enough that he was worried about tipping over the edge, Sephiroth pulled away. Then Angeal was pulling away and untying Cloud’s ankles.

“Flip over, sweetheart,” Zack told him, encouraging him to turn with a hand at his side. He helped Cloud get onto his hands and knees while Angeal worked to reattach the ropes to keep his legs spread. Sephiroth shifted up the bed to attach the rope around Cloud’s wrists to the headboard, leaving him helpless—unless he wanted to rip himself free, which he refused to do.

He took a deep breath and waited as Genesis smoothed a hand up and down his back.

“It won’t be  _ quite _ a repeat of last time,” Genesis told him.

“Does that mean I can hope to come soon, sir?”

Genesis laughed outright, kissed his hair, and said, “Of course not, pet.”

Cloud sighed and hung his head, making both Genesis and Zack laugh. Sephiroth appeared at Genesis’s side. Zack was grabbing lube from the nightstand and passing it back to—Angeal, who was still behind him. Gaia, but it was hard to keep track of them all. They had yet to do this all together, all five of them. They’d done all four of them before, yes, but not five. Even that had been something rare, specifically because it was hard to figure out how to maneuver all of them at once. This had some careful planning involved, for how smooth it was going.

“Ready, baby?” Angeal asked as Cloud heard the click of the bottle opening.

“Yes, daddy,” Cloud said, hissing in a breath as he felt slick fingers run over his entrance. He fought to keep still and not press back as Angeal lazily circled his fingers over his hole. Cloud let out a rough breath, trying not to beg. He begged much more easily these days than he had when they first began. It was hard fighting off that urge now, but Genesis had been clear. 

Angeal finally sank a finger into Cloud, who moaned softly for the feeling. He kept his hips still by force of will alone. He felt Angeal drape over his back, the only thing between them being his hand as he slowly worked to open Cloud up. He pressed kisses to what uncovered skin was left on Cloud’s throat, before sinking a bite into his shoulder. Cloud whined, his cock twitching at the feeling. The pain was perfect. It was  _ right _ . Yes, this was deep, and meaningful, and loving, and maybe that belting would have been out of place. But it wouldn’t have been  _ them _ if there was no pain at all. 

Angeal left stinging kisses all over Cloud’s shoulders and neck as he slowly worked him open.

Eventually, Angeal asked, his voice low and rough in Cloud’s ear, “What do you think, baby? You want daddy’s cock first?”

Cloud whined, dropping his forehead onto his forearms.

“Please don’t make me pick, daddy,” Cloud said. He hoped  _ that _ would be allowed—it was more manners than begging.

Angeal chuckled in his ear before kissing the space behind it.

“Lucky for you, you’re not making any decisions tonight.”

With that, Angeal was climbing off of Cloud, replaced by Zack, who had been stroking himself with a fist slicked with lube as he watched. Zack leaned over Cloud, one arm framing Cloud’s to keep him supported, the other wrapping around Cloud’s waist. He nuzzled into Cloud’s throat, leaving a soft kiss there.

“First times go first, right, sweetheart?”

Before Cloud could think of an answer, Zack was pressing inside of him, and all good sense was knocked clean out of his head. His hands made fists in the sheets, his head hung as he breathed through the pleasure, Zack slowly fucking his way into him. When he was settled inside, hilted in Cloud, he paused. He tilted Cloud’s chin with his hand and shifted until he could kiss his mouth. Then he grinned against his lips before pulling away and snapping his hips forward again. 

Zack was perfectly familiar with Cloud’s body, and it showed. He knew how to bring him close to the edge, and how to back him off from it. He knew the right spots to hit, the right ways to touch, exactly when to kiss and when to bite. 

It was nothing at all like the first time Zack had referenced. That had been so sweet, but full of fumbling. Full of laughter, as they tried to figure out what the hell to do with one another. As Zack taught Cloud exactly how good this could feel, because Cloud hadn’t had a clue. No, this was a culmination of years. Of learning what things they each liked best and how to balance those. The careful dance of meeting both partners’ needs while sacrificing none of the others. This was the first person who had taken him to bed, proving now that he had mastered how to go about it. 

At least, that was most of it. By the end, Cloud was so riled up that Zack had to keep one hand firmly wrapped around the base of his cock while chasing his own orgasm however he liked. He was using Cloud to get off, but Cloud didn’t feel used at all. He knew the reason Zack was rushing was so he didn’t ruin the night by pushing Cloud to orgasm too fast. It was a careful dance, balancing on the knife’s edge, and if Zack didn’t come soon, Cloud was going to fall over the edge no matter what they said about it. 

It didn’t quite come to that. Zack came with a groan inside Cloud, one hand holding Cloud’s bound wrists, the other grasping his hip. 

“So good, sweetheart,” Zack whispered when he finally caught his breath. “Always so good for me.”

He pulled out, shifting out of the way and up the bed until he could cup Cloud’s face and kiss him properly. 

Cloud’s brow was pinched as he panted into Zack’s mouth. His cock was  _ throbbing _ . He couldn’t take much more of this. How long was he expected to hold out? Through all of them? Because he didn’t know that he could. He could take them all, sure, but to do so without actually coming would be next to impossible. He whined softly when he felt new body heat against his back.

There was the sound of a throat clearing, and that could only be Genesis. 

Zack backed off with a grin, saying, “Sorry, sorry.” Cloud couldn’t help but echo his smile. 

Genesis wrapped himself around Cloud before fisting his cock, making Cloud moan. Cloud hung his head, trying to control himself, but he was nearing his limit. He didn’t know how much longer he could last.

“Color?” Genesis asked, checking in quietly.

“Green,” Cloud whispered back, his hips stuttering forward, grinding himself into Genesis’s hand. Genesis kissed his throat. “Sir, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.”

“Oh?” Genesis said, speeding up the pace of his hand. Cloud whimpered. “Finally ready to sacrifice your pride? Are you ready to be good for us?”

Cloud gasped, thrusting into Genesis’s hand. Genesis didn’t stop him, so it must be okay. He couldn’t help it. He was so  _ close _ and he was so  _ tired _ of being on the edge of this cliff.

“Yes sir,” Cloud breathed. “I always want to be good for you.”

“Well, then? You know how.”

Cloud let out a breath that shuddered before whispering, “Please, sir, can I come?”

Genesis paused, pressing inside Cloud who keened at the feeling, before finally saying, “You may.”

As if Cloud had a choice, stuffed full again with Genesis’s hand working him like  _ that _ . The sheets tore from how hard Cloud gripped them as he came, shooting against the sheets. Genesis fucked him through his orgasm slowly, clearly savoring the feeling of how Cloud tightened around him. 

“Good, pet,” Genesis praised, continuing to stroke Cloud right into over-sensitivity. “Now, you remember what comes next?”

Cloud swallowed. He nodded.

“Yes sir,” he breathed. 

Genesis hooked his arm between Cloud’s, looping one finger through the ring at the front of his collar so he could pull at it, applying just the right amount of pressure. 

“Let’s see how badly we can make you rip those sheets,” Genesis said, and Cloud could hear the knife-edged smile in his voice.

Cloud held on for dear life. Because, if the point was to prove how well they all understood Cloud and his body at this point, Genesis had a distinct advantage. He had been the one to introduce Cloud to kink. He had been in his bed for the longest time, over all. He knew every trick there was to learn, and he was pulling out all of the stops. He knew it wasn’t quite, but the rest of the time Genesis spent inside him felt like one long orgasm, as if he never really came down from that first high. It was almost a relief when Genesis finally finished inside him and reluctantly pulled his hand away from Cloud’s cock. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of Cloud’s neck, but let that be meaning enough before he pulled away. 

Cloud was panting to catch his breath. There was a brief pause, where no one pressed up behind him. Genesis crept into view at his side.

“How are you doing? Still green?” Genesis said, still a little out of breath from his own exertions. Cloud nodded, but rested his head on his forearms. His thighs were shaking, and Genesis noticed. “Do you need to switch positions?”

Cloud paused. The proud part of him wanted to say no, but they all tended to get mad at him when he ignored his own wellbeing for the sake of their play. 

“Maybe,” he finally admitted. It was as close as he was going to get. 

“That’s a yes, then,” Genesis said, glancing over Cloud’s body toward Sephiroth and Angeal, who climbed off the bed. They untied his ankles before wrapping the excess rope around them and knotting it off to keep it out of the way. They helped flip him over onto his back where he sighed and relaxed against the mattress. “How are the shoulders?”

“Fine, sir,” Cloud said, finally having caught his breath. He looked up to see Angeal coming to lay between his legs.

“Ready to continue, then?” Angeal asked, brushing the hair from Cloud’s face. 

Cloud smiled up at him and nodded, turning to kiss his palm. Angeal smiled back before hooking one of Cloud’s legs over his shoulder. He lined up before pausing, waiting for Cloud to nod before pressing inside. 

Cloud knew exactly what he was in for with Angeal. The man had always been more of a marathon runner than a sprinter. They were going to be at this for a while, and while Angeal may not have quite as many tricks as Genesis, he still knew Cloud damn well. 

He started off slow, just rolling his hips. The hand not holding Cloud’s leg over his shoulder trailed slowly over his cock, the palm just barely grazing over his velvety skin. Cloud let out a controlled breath, but it still shuddered on its way out. Angeal looked down at him, fond and proud, the smile curling at his lips. 

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Angeal muttered to him. Cloud shivered as Angeal wrapped his hand properly around him, pumping him roughly, just how he liked it. 

“Thank you, daddy,” Cloud whispered back, breathless, his voice cracking on the honorific as Angeal’s hips snapped forward once before slowing back to a gentle roll. 

Angeal leaned down to kiss him, and Cloud moaned right into his mouth. Cloud tugged at his bonds unthinkingly, wanting to hold Angeal to him, press himself closer. He didn’t pull hard enough to tear the rope, stopping before it gave, but he did let out a sound of frustration. There was more than one amused chuckle in response. 

Angeal fucked him slow and sensuous the vast majority of the time, only slapping their hips together on occasion to keep Cloud from getting too comfortable in the rhythm. His hand worked Cloud through his second orgasm, after he had asked respectfully for it, and halfway to a third before Angeal finally came inside him. He lingered there for a long moment, kissing Cloud deeply, being sure to convince him with his touch how much he loved him. He didn’t say anything when he pulled away, just smiled at him. He had already said everything he needed to with his touch. 

There was a pause where no one took Angeal’s place, and Cloud realized they weren’t just giving him a second to catch his breath. He looked up and over at Sephiroth, his brow furrowing at the look on his face. He looked disbelieving and almost afraid. Cloud couldn’t imagine why. 

“Master?” he asked, still panting. 

“Are you—“ Sephiroth paused, took a deep breath, and tried again. “Are you sure about this?”

“Sure about what?”

“All of it.”

Cloud paused. He blinked. He was wearing two collars from these men and leaking most of their cum from his ass. Obviously he was sure. Except, apparently, it wasn’t so obvious to Sephiroth. 

“Hey,” Cloud said softly, letting his scene mannerisms break for a second. “I’m sure, okay? I know what I want, and you’re part of it. Don’t get cold feet on me now, alright?”

Sephiroth’s eyes flicked up to meet Cloud’s as Genesis set a hand on his knee. 

“It isn’t cold feet. I know what I want, I just… am not sure it’s what I deserve.”

Cloud smiled softly, then. If anyone ever could, he could understand feeling undeserving. 

“You know how often I feel like I don’t deserve any of you? We’ll just have to be undeserving together. Or deserving of our undeserving selves. Whatever. We go together, Sephiroth. I need you with me.”

Sephiroth seemed to soften, then, at the word ‘need.’ He smiled softly, and shifted to lay between Cloud’s spread legs, draping himself over him. He leaned down until their lips brushed. 

“Far be it from me to deny you what you need.”

Cloud pulled on the rope unthinkingly again, wanting to wrap Sephiroth in his embrace, to hold him close. He settled for kissing him soundly. 

“And if I need you inside me, master?” he said, slipping back into his role as easy as breathing. 

Sephiroth reached up, brushing the hair from his face as he said, “I don’t think I need to repeat myself.”

Cloud grinned up at him, glad to see Sephiroth back in his stride. He grabbed Cloud by the inner thigh, spreading his legs wide and angling him just right so he could slide inside. 

He paused, buried inside him. He slid his hand from Cloud’s leg, up his chest, and around his throat. He put pressure on the collars with his palm, a much appreciated reminder, while his fingers pressed into his pulse points, cutting off his blood flow. He began rocking his hips then, watching with hungry eyes as Cloud gasped futilely, his eyes slowly growing dimmer as the limited blood flow to his brain began to have an effect. 

And, strangely enough, Cloud felt no fear. Sephiroth had tried to kill him plenty of times before, yes, but he knew he wasn’t doing that here. This was about control, about Cloud yielding his trust up to Sephiroth willingly. It was about baring his throat for Sephiroth, and proving that he was unafraid to do so. 

So as the dark crowded along the edge of Cloud’s vision, he only smiled softly. 

Until Sephiroth’s grip went slack, just resting lightly on Cloud’s throat, his mouth pressing down to Cloud’s even as Cloud gasped. He let Cloud pull the air from his lungs, sharing air as Cloud panted into his mouth. He snapped his hips forward sharply, earning a broken little moan from Cloud, before settling back into his previous pace. 

When Cloud finally looked back up at Sephiroth after he leaned away, the man seemed settled. Whatever had been exchanged in that moment was enough for him. It was no longer about making some point or proving something, and only about pleasure. Cloud’s pleasure, to be precise, because Sephiroth was grinding himself relentlessly into Cloud’s prostate, his hand quickly bringing him to his third orgasm. 

He brought Cloud to that cliff and then shoved him over it. Just to drag him back up to the edge and push him off again. And again, and again. Up to this point, they had been trying not to make things too overwhelming. He needed to last through all of them, after all. But all brakes were off, now. There was no reason Cloud had to last beyond Sephiroth, and if they were following the script, Cloud had to beg for mercy still. 

Sephiroth was taking his role in getting Cloud to that point  _ very _ seriously. He was clearly trying to wring as many orgasms out of Cloud as he could. 

Cloud had already lost track of how many he had. He was overstimulated, and aching in all the best ways. Every touch zinged through his nerves, blazing with intensity. He couldn’t have stopped the sounds pouring from his mouth even if he wanted to. 

By the time he finally broke, there were tears standing in his eyes. They finally spilled down his cheeks as he heaved one great, pleasured sob. 

“ _ Please _ ,” he begged. “Enough, master, please!”

“And how do you ask?”

Cloud sobbed in frustration, his head digging back into the pillows. 

“ _ Mercy,  _ please, master, have mercy!”

Sephiroth finally let Cloud’s poor, spent cock go then. Instead, he grabbed his hips and began fucking into him, hard and relentless. Cloud looked up at him through teary, half-lidded eyes, panting and watching Sephiroth watch him. Sephiroth’s face was both intense and fond, the two coming together to make possessiveness. His hair was in disarray, some of it sticking to his face, other parts sticking to Cloud’s sides. 

It was a remarkably human look, for Sephiroth. It was a good look for him. Cloud smiled up at him, and Sephiroth smiled back. He leaned down and kissed him, panting into Cloud’s mouth, before finally coming. 

There was a long moment where they stayed like that. Where Sephiroth propped himself up on his elbows by Cloud’s head, separating them from the world, even their other lovers. 

Cloud felt hands working, undoing the rope from his wrists and ankles. He just focused on pressing his forehead to Sephiroth’s. 

“Together, yeah?” he whispered. “You, and me. With Genesis, and Zack, and Angeal with us.”

Sephiroth released a shivering breath. 

“Together.”

By the time Sephiroth finally pulled away, Cloud was untied. He gathered Sephiroth’s mane of hair and pulled it to one side, smiling up at him. He kissed him softly. 

Sephiroth finally looked up at the others, to see them looking back fondly. Angeal picked up his hand and pressed a warm, wet rag into his palm. 

“You were last, you can do clean up.”

Sephiroth sighed, saying, “There was no negotiating the order, that’s hardly fair,” but clearly did not mind as he began wiping Cloud down. Cloud smiled, but it twisted into a yawn. He was a bit worn out after all of that. It got cooing sounds from Genesis and Zack, who Cloud promptly flipped off. 

In the end, he did appreciate the order they had gone in, from first lover to last addition. It meant something, and like everything else that night, had been carefully chosen for that meaning. 

The warmth that built in his chest, all that meaning sitting heavily but perfectly, weighed him down into the mattress. By the time clean up was done, he didn’t have the energy to move at all. He let Genesis and Sephiroth curl around him, Angeal and Zack on the ends, and felt more content than he could ever remember being. 

“Do you understand now, darling, how much we love you?” Genesis asked softly. 

Cloud did, but he didn’t answer. He just smiled dreamily and drifted off to sleep. 


	36. Chapter 36

It was a shit day. 

It was a shit day, and Cloud didn’t want to think about it. 

He was very carefully not thinking about it as he made his way home. He took the turns at breakneck speeds, weaving through traffic in a way that garnered honking and middle fingers. The speed helped him immensely, gave him something life-or-death to focus on. When he was busy calculating the exact angle of his turns, he wasn’t busy thinking about the day. 

But then he was home, and out of distractions. 

He swallowed nervously as he put Fenrir under the overhang, tucking his goggles into their compartment. 

He hadn’t had a bad day like this in a long time. He’d been so wrapped up in the turmoil of his relationship that he hadn’t had time for mundane things to get to him, not really since Angeal and Zack showed back up. He’d been so busy acclimating them to the world and the lot of them to the new relationship. Then Sephiroth had turned up and begun the process all over again. 

But things were settling, now. Sephiroth even had a  _ job _ , for gods’ sake. It had taken time, effort, and recommendations from Cloud and Reeve for Sephiroth to be approved to work at Edge Post, the leading news organization in the city. But he wrote perfectly, investigated thoroughly, and was completely unbiased as a social outcast—even if he had to write under a pen name. 

It was great to see Sephiroth finding his stride. He loved the investigation, the hunt, the puzzle of it all. He confessed that he had always been better at communicating through text, where he had time to consider his words, which helped his writing. It was a perfect fit for him, once they had found it. The problem now was trying to stop him from getting entirely subsumed by it; he didn’t know how to separate his work from his life, but he was learning. 

The fact of the matter was, Cloud was out of crises to handle. He was settled with his partners. They were all comfortable and flourishing in their new lifestyle. Everyone had their own jobs, and was comfortable in civilian life. He had nothing left to fix, and he always did better in an emergency than he did in day-to-day life. 

Genesis had been the last one to deal with the moods he got, and they had figured out how to handle it. They would figure out how to handle it now. The concern wasn’t Genesis, so much as it was everyone else. What would they think, seeing his mood so low?

Only one way to find out. 

Cloud opened the back door and stepped in, toeing out of his boots. He caught sight of Genesis sitting on the couch, watching what looked to be some sort of historical program about ancient Mideel. 

Cloud didn’t say anything. He didn’t have words in him, right now. Maybe, if he was quiet, Genesis would just leave it alone. He went to walk into the kitchen, hoping to just avoid it all. He didn’t want to ruin Genesis’s day with his own mood. He’d just go hide in the shower for a while, sit on the floor and put himself back together. Yeah, that would work just fine. 

Except, Cloud only got to the threshold to the kitchen before Genesis said, “Stop.”

Cloud froze in place. He glanced over his shoulder to see Genesis watching him like a hawk. His eyes swept Cloud up and down, taking in everything from his stance, to the look in his eye, to the set of his shoulders. 

“Bad day?” Genesis guessed. 

Cloud’s breath left him in a rush. It was so much  _ easier _ when he didn’t have to say it himself. He nodded. 

“Come here, then,” Genesis said, patting the couch next to him. When Cloud walked over and went to sit, Genesis said, “No. Kneel next to me.”

Cloud blinked. It would be far from the first time he had knelt at one of their feet, but it wasn’t usually unprompted like this, and always actually  _ at their feet _ , not on the couch. 

But this was their arrangement. Orders were orders. His collar weighed a little heavier around his throat for a moment as he knelt on the couch at Genesis’s side. 

Genesis reached out and cupped the back of his neck, putting pressure on the collar. Cloud sighed at the gentle reminder. That he was owned, now, in the best way. That his problems were not only his own, now. That the decision on how to handle them was not in his hands—it was in much more capable hands. The hands of people who would make the right choice, who could help. Who wouldn’t let Cloud hide and sulk and make himself worse. 

Genesis kept him there, one hand putting pressure on the collar. The collar had become a key of sorts, as of late. Pressing on it or pulling at it became a quick way to get Cloud relaxed and compliant. He found himself slipping into that mindset now, his brain fogging over. He didn’t have to think like this, after all. People he trusted more than himself would do the thinking for him, in these hard moments. 

Cloud remained kneeling and calm, feeling no more urge to run, but it wasn’t quite  _ enough.  _ All the feelings were still there. He wanted to ask for a bigger distraction, for help, but he didn’t know the words to use. He knew how important communication was, and he had gotten much better at it since this began, but sometimes the words still got caught in his throat. 

Then the front door opened and closed. 

“Anyone home?” what was distinctly Angeal’s voice called from the front. 

“Back here,” Genesis called, not bothering to look up from the program yet. Cloud knew Genesis kept glancing at him, but he didn’t know what to do about that yet. He seemed focused on the TV, at least for the moment. 

Angeal walked into the room, taking his hair out of the tiny ponytail he wore for work. He paused in the doorway, looking at their arrangement, at how Cloud was sitting and how Genesis was holding him. Genesis finally glanced up, and they exchanged a long look before Genesis nodded. Angeal mirrored him before coming forward. 

He took the coffee table and moved it out of the way before grabbing the large, flat pillow they kept carefully on the side. It had been marketed for meditation, but it worked perfectly for when Cloud was going to spend prolonged periods of time kneeling on the floor. Cloud swallowed as he set it at Genesis’s feet. Angeal hooked a finger beneath Cloud’s chin and lifted it so he could press a kiss to his lips. 

“Hard day?” Angeal asked, their lips still brushing. 

Cloud hummed his agreement, letting Angeal press their foreheads together.

“Let’s see if we can’t make it better, then.”

Angeal pulled down the collar of his shirt to hook his finger through his day collar, tugging Cloud forward. Cloud went easily, letting Angeal guide him into kneeling on the floor. Angeal went to sit where Cloud had, his knee pressed to Cloud’s side. Genesis’s hand found its position quickly again, even as he and Angeal shared a kiss. 

And that helped a bit more still. It was more distance between them, but in a good way. In a way that reminded Cloud that he was in safe hands right now. That he didn’t have to be more than he wanted to be. 

Because he was still hearing the echoes of the day. All day long, people had been calling him a hero. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence by any means, but it was uncomfortable even on a good day. It had happened too many times, though, for today to be good. Each time the praise was aimed at him, all those expectations, his mood only got worse. As the collar around his throat grew tighter, and he felt more and more like a failure for needing it. 

Because he did need it. Right now proved that. He was so much happier and at ease, kneeling at their feet, pressure on his collar, reminding him of what he had chosen. 

But it also stung to fall so short. The bar for him was sky-high in so many eyes, impossible for even the best of men to live up to. And he was not the best of men—he’d always been an imposter. Weak. Pathetic. 

He tried to work through it. To focus on the pressure on his knees, on the pressure around his throat, and not the pressures that came from outside this house. Those were forced on him and unwelcome. These were the pressures he chose. The men he loved did not ask him for more than he could give. They didn’t demand a hero, a savior, just his best. Just what he wanted to give them anyway. 

He was going around and around in circles in his head, getting nowhere but more lost. He lost track of how much time had passed as he sat there, staring blankly at the television. 

The front door opened and snapped shut. 

“Hey!”

Cloud looked up, blinking slowly, dazedly. 

“In here!” Angeal called back, and Cloud listened to Zack clomp his way into the living room, wondering distantly how SOLDIER hadn’t trained him out of being so loud. Maybe he did it so they could keep track of him. That seemed like the kind of strange kindness he’d choose. 

Zack paused in the doorway, his grin fading as he took in the tableau on the couch. He tilted his head, considering what was in front of him. He tapped his foot twice in thought before approaching. 

No one needed to explain what was happening to Zack. He didn’t need clarification, or to double check. It was clear at a glance to him that this was not play, that this was help. The look in Cloud’s eyes, his posture made that much clear. He always had had a talent for reading people.

So Zack came over, flopping on one end of the couch before squirming his way into Angeal and Genesis’s laps, so he was draped across them. Genesis clicked his tongue at him, scolding, but adjusted so he could keep his grip on Cloud but allow Zack under his arm. It helped that, after kissing Cloud’s hair, Zack laid flat on his back. 

“Are you really gonna force us all to watch your boring history shows?” Zack asked Genesis. 

Without saying anything about it, his hand crept into Cloud’s hair. It ran through the strands, finger-combing and petting. When Cloud was sitting at their feet like this, it felt a little like he  _ was _ the pet they called him—and that felt good. Pets were well cared for, and deeply loved. He had never minded the idea of being their pet, as long as they held him close and cherished him like one. 

Like this, there was both the demeaning distance and the affection, and both mattered. He didn’t want to be their equal, especially not right now. He didn’t feel up to the task. 

“They’re good for you, maybe you’ll actually learn something.”

He rarely felt up to the task, but especially not today. Not when so many people expected him to be their  _ better _ —as if he ever could. He didn’t make the decisions in this relationship anymore for a damn good reason. He couldn’t be trusted with it. He certainly shouldn’t be trusted with the general public, but here they were, all looking to him. How horrified they would be to see him kneeling at other people’s feet, collared, his hair petted like a dog. 

“I won’t learn anything if I fall asleep.”

Maybe he should let the public know. Maybe it would be better, to be scorned instead of held in high regard. Sephiroth, for one, was taking better to his infamy than his fame, in his own words. Maybe there was something to it. At least then he wouldn’t be dreading the moment when the shoe dropped and everything came crashing down around him—it’d already be over. 

The front door opened and closed. 

“Seph, tell Gen his shows are boring!”

“You little brat.”

Sephiroth did not stomp around like Zack did. He appeared so silently that Cloud wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there before he finally looked up at the man. By the time he did, a hush had fallen, and his arms were crossed over his chest. Cloud’s first inexplicable thought was that he had realized Cloud wasn’t good enough to be theirs and would take back his collar. 

“Sometimes, you are all much too lax. I don’t know when you’ll grasp that he needs a firm hand,” Sephiroth said, marching up to Cloud. He batted Zack’s hand away and ignored his grumbled protest. 

Cloud stared up at him. Sephiroth didn’t need to grab his hair in a tight fist to force the already existing eye contact, but it  _ was _ grounding. It did help Cloud focus on him. 

“What happened?” Sephiroth demanded. 

Cloud swallowed. He licked his lips. When he spoke, his voice was low. 

“They wouldn’t stop calling me a hero.”

Sephiroth clicked his tongue in disapproval. 

“That’s foolish. You aren’t a hero for what you’ve done.”

Cloud was flooded with both relief and confusion. Because he agreed, whole-heartedly, but no one just  _ said that _ to him. 

“ _ Sephiroth _ ,” Zack said, but Genesis lifted his hand from the back of Cloud’s neck to motion for him to wait. 

Sephiroth continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. 

“All you did was what had to be done. That is no more laudable than a wolf gnawing its own leg off to be free of a trap. It’s laudable that you survived what you did, and that you did so with grace, unlike myself, or Genesis, or Angeal. If you are a hero, it is for what you are, not what you have done,” Sephiroth said, punctuating his point by tightening his grip in Cloud’s hair. “Now. Do you want to be reminded that you  _ are _ worthy of the title ‘hero,’ or that it does not matter?”

“I don’t want to think,” Cloud whispered back. 

“Very well. Zack, move.”

“Bossy,” Zack griped, but he did as he was told. They all prioritized Cloud’s well-being over a bit of pride, and he was more than willing to move to sit next to Genesis. 

Sephiroth sank to one knee with Cloud, guiding him with his hands until he was laying across all three of their laps, much as Zack had been, flat on his back. He tugged Cloud’s pants and underwear off, as Genesis unzipped his shirt so it fell open and to the sides. Sephiroth shifted to perch on the edge of the couch by Cloud’s knees before pulling one so it lay across his own lap, spreading Cloud’s legs wide. 

“We’ll see if we can’t distract you, hmm?” Sephiroth said quietly, before flicking pointed looks to the others. No one was in disagreement, or needed any further instruction. 

Angeal looped one finger through his day collar and pulled just a hair, keeping constant pressure on his throat. He alternated between stroking his hand through Cloud’s hair and making a rough fist in the locks and pulling. 

Genesis reached up, pressing his fingers into Cloud’s mouth. Cloud didn’t need instruction to know to suck on them, to take them gamely down his throat when Genesis decided to press that far. He did moan against his fingers when Genesis used his free hand to pinch one of Cloud’s nipples. 

Zack took Cloud’s hand—the one he could reach. The other grabbed desperately at the couch cushion for something to hold on to. Zack licked up the palm of his free hand before slowly, teasingly setting about stroking Cloud’s cock. 

While the other three set about distracting Cloud, Sephiroth rummaged in a nearby drawer for the bottle of lube they kept by the couch for just this sort of indiscretion. He leaned back around, coating his fingers and warming the lube on them as he hitched Cloud’s leg up higher, spreading them further. It gave him the necessary access to circle a finger around Cloud’s hole before sinking it inside. He set about slowly fingering Cloud, searching for his prostate. 

It was all too much. It was exactly what he needed. There was no way to focus on anything but them, like this. They were his world—in this moment, and many others. There were things he cared about outside of them, but those weren’t important right now. What mattered were all the hands on him, doing what they could to make him feel better, to forcibly tear his mind away from the thoughts that plagued it. 

It was easy to slip into subspace like this. Being touched all over, inside and out, by the men he loved so dearly made it difficult to do anything but. Distantly, he heard them all praising him in turn, mutters of  _ good boy _ , and  _ that’s it _ , and  _ so sweet, that’s just right _ . He whimpered for them, quickly losing control. It was so easy to slip. It was so safe with them, when they made it so clear that they just wanted to help. That they were happy to do whatever it took to make Cloud feel better. 

Cloud wasn’t even sure how long he lasted. By the time he came, his mind was drifting far away, too focused on the pleasure, on the safety, the love he felt with and for these men. He saw fireworks behind his eyes as he arched off their laps with his orgasm, before slumping back against them. He opened his eyes to look blearily up at them, just to see the smiling softly down at him. 

Genesis pulled his fingers from Cloud’s mouth, saying, “Better?”

Cloud smiled dazedly and answered, “Yeah. Now you?”

Sephiroth had pulled his hand free and was putting Cloud’s leg down as he said, “You can repay us later. Just relax, for right now. Your day has been trying enough.”

Cloud had to pause to fight a yawn. Now that he had been distracted enough to be comforted by their presence, it was hard to fight the relaxation setting into his bones. 

“I didn’t even do much today.”

“Yet it was trying enough.”

Angeal brushed the extra drool from Cloud’s mouth before leaning down to kiss him, saying, “Let us just spoil you, alright?”

Sephiroth stepped away to get tissues as Angeal and Genesis worked the rest of Cloud’s top off him. By the time they were done wrestling with it, Sephiroth was able to wipe Cloud clean. When that was done, he grabbed their soft, white faux-fur blanket off the chair—it was Cloud’s favorite and they all knew it. He draped it over Cloud before lifting his feet to sit at Zack’s side. 

Cloud curled up on his side, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Distantly, he heard them start to converse, but he didn’t hear his name. They would call him if they needed him. Their hands rested along him, a reassuring pressure against his skin. 

He let his eyes drift shut, too content to fight the encroaching sleepiness. He was safe here with them, after all. The outside world may demand more than his best, but his best was enough here. Less than his best was enough.  _ He  _ was enough, and that mattered. 

The rest of the world may demand that he try, and try, and try, over and over again, on repeat, on loop for forever. But here, at least, he had finally gotten it right. 

He didn’t need any more do-overs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s a wrap, folks!!! A huge thank you to everyone who stuck around!! I know the 24/7 part probably lost some folks, which is totally fair, but I really appreciate those of you who gave this a shot!!! This has been a huge passion project of mine and something I really really have loved working on. Hopefully you enjoyed the ending!! There will be extra scenes because I love this universe, so stick around for those if you’d like!


	37. Bonus Scene 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw consensual whipping

“If y’all don’t  _ hurry it up—“ _

The whip cracked and Cloud moaned, letting his forehead rest against the wall he was propped against. Glances were exchanged, fond smiles on lips. Cloud’s accent only rarely came through so heavy. 

“Patience, pet.”

“With  _ all  _ due respect, Master—“

The whip cracked again, and they could watch Cloud shiver after the impact. 

“I didn’t even say anythin’ yet!”

Sephiroth hummed and stepped closer, dragging a hand down Cloud’s bloodied back, spreading the wounds. 

“No, but when you start a sentence that way, I know you’re about to be impertinent.”

“Oh, go fuck yerself.”

“He’s cute when he’s paindrunk,” Genesis whispered to Zack. “He finally stops thinking.” Zack nodded fervently, too wrapped up in the scene for words. 

Sephiroth clicked his tongue and dug his thumb into an open wound until Cloud whimpered. 

“It seems I have to teach you your manners all over again.”

“Whatever my Master wants,” Cloud said, the teasing lilt in his voice ruined by the waver in his breath. 

“Who knew  _ Sephiroth _ would be the one to turn him bratty,” Genesis said, shaking his head. 

“He’s too used to fighting him to give in until he earns it, some days,” Angeal commented, watching as Sephiroth kissed the space behind Cloud’s ear and stepped away, winding his arm back. “It gets worse when there’s pain involved. It reminds Cloud too much of the battlefield.”

“If y’all don’t— _ ah! Fuck!— _ if y’all don’t stop commenting—“ Cloud’s threats broke off into a whimper as the whip struck him twice in rapid succession. 

“I understand that they are distracting—“  _ crack _ “—but I should be all you can focus on. If you have attention to spare—“  _ crack _ “— then I clearly need to be trying harder.”

“No, Master, I wasn’t tryin’ to challenge—“

The whip descended again. Cloud’s head bowed as his teeth gritted together. 

“Then perhaps you should have minded your tongue.”

Cloud cursed quietly, that Nibel twang curling the word, and Genesis cooed at the cuteness. One of Cloud’s hands, pressed to the wall for stability, curled into a middle finger. 

“ _ Manners _ , pet,” both Genesis and Sephiroth said in the same breath. They exchanged a look and a grin before Sephiroth returned to the task of trying to keep up with Cloud’s healing and sky-high pain tolerance. Any sort of break could tip Cloud out of the blissful state he reached after a certain amount of pain. Later, Sephiroth would pause deliberately, to make Cloud beg for the pain to reach that state again. But for now, they were all enjoying the second hand high from Cloud. 


	38. Bonus Scene 2

“Cloud, you don’t have to.”

“No. I’m gonna.”

“I promise, it’s not necessary. We managed before just fine, but the others help with this situation plenty. You don’t have to force yourself.”

“But I should try.”

“You know I don’t care about ‘should’s.”

“Okay, I  _ want _ to try.”

Genesis sighed and said, “If you’d like.”

Genesis quietly glanced at the clock. 2150. He wanted to know exactly how long Cloud would be able to keep this up. 

Cloud was sitting on Genesis’s hips. Genesis had his arms extended obligingly above his head, gripping the headboard. He didn’t know how long Cloud had had it in his head that he ought to try domming Genesis, just because he was a switch. Genesis was perfectly aware that Cloud was  _ not _ . He didn’t have a dom-inclined bone in his body. Genesis was perfectly happy exclusively domming Cloud, but Cloud got strange notions of ‘fairness’ in his head, and had insisted. Very well. He could humor the idea. For however long it would last. 

“What should I call you?” Genesis asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his tone and off his face. He thought Cloud only didn’t notice because he was too focused on the red and gold collar in his hands. Genesis leaned up so Cloud could attach it, his fingers fumbling with the latch in his nerves. 

“Uhhh. Sir.”

Cute. 

“Okay then,  _ sir _ . You realize the collar is too loose?”

“Godsdammit,” Cloud mumbled, tightening the collar just a hair. “Better?”

It was still too loose, but before he wrecked what remained of Cloud’s confidence, he said, “Yes sir.”

Cloud licked his lips nervously. He took the matching red cuffs and went about attaching Genesis’s wrists to the headboard. There was no dirty talk, no flirts, no commands. Just Cloud fumbling when his fingers were usually so sure, and him quietly cursing. 

_ Extremely _ cute. 

Cloud sat back on his hips when Genesis’s wrists were bound, looking down at him. Genesis fought the urge to raise an eyebrow and just blinked back at him. He tended to be quite a brat when he subbed, but he didn’t think Cloud could handle taming him, so he kept that urge firmly in check. 

Well, mostly in check.

“Your orders, sir?”

Cloud looked both panicked and thoughtful, scrambling for an answer. Belatedly, he reached out and slapped Genesis, though it was really little more than a tap. His heart wasn’t in it, poor thing. 

“M-mind your manners. Pet?”

Pet and sir, was it? Cloud was really just reversing what they usually did?

Still, Genesis nodded his encouragement. Cloud bit his lip in thought. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Cloud’s face flushed. It went from a pale, dusty pink, to a lovely rose, to beet red. Finally, he buried his face in his hands and groaned. 

“I can’t do it,” he whined. “I don’t know what to do!”

Genesis laughed, the sound good natured and amused. He glanced at the clock. 2154. About what he expected. 

“How about you start by letting me up?”

“ _ Gen _ , I wanna—“

“You just said you can’t. Cloud, I’m not mad. That was the cutest thing I’ve seen in ages.”

Cloud grumbled, but the remark got him moving; he hated being called cute. He thumbed the latch on the cuffs and undid the point where they were linked. Genesis reached up and tucked Cloud beneath his chin, laughing again at Cloud’s frustrated groan. 

“I wanted to do this for you,” he mumbled. 

“You don’t have to. I’m perfectly content with our relationship. In fact.” Genesis flipped them deftly. With practiced fingers, he had his collar off his own neck and around Cloud’s before Cloud knew what was happening. With a grin, he said, “How about I show you how it’s done?”

“... It’ll probably go smoother.”

Genesis laughed and kissed his cheek, saying, “Probably. You’ll have more fun this way, regardless.”

Genesis then set about distracting Cloud. 

But he was distracted himself. 

_ Four minutes.  _

Cute. 


	39. Bonus Scene 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw human furniture

“You understand the details of this, yes?”

“Gen, stop fussing. How hard can it be?”

“You fidget more than you realize, Cloud. If you aren’t still, things will fall.”

“It’ll be fine, quit stalling.”

“Stubborn,” Genesis said, but he agreed implicitly when he fastened the collar around Cloud’s neck. 

The constant line of tension dropped out of Cloud’s shoulders, and he gave a small smile. Genesis ran his hands down his neck, over his bare shoulders, and down his arms to cup his hands. He kissed Cloud’s knuckles to complete the old, familiar gesture and watched Cloud’s smile grow a little wider. 

“Hands and knees, then, pet.”

“Yes, sir.”

Cloud got down on his hands and knees, carefully placed on the carpet to spare his bare knees. They had needed to move the coffee table out of the way to make room, but it was worth it. Genesis went and fetched his dinner from said coffee table before returning to Cloud. He placed one hand on his bare back in warning before placing the plate on his spine. Cloud held perfectly still, his breath carefully controlled. Genesis went back for his silverware, napkin, and water glass before placing those on Cloud’s back as well. 

Carefully, Genesis sat on the floor at his side and slipped his legs in the gap underneath Cloud’s torso, crossed at the ankle. He then went, delicately and mindfully, about eating his dinner off Cloud’s back. 

He didn’t touch Cloud if he could help it. His attention wasn’t what this was about, and it wasn’t why he proposed this to Cloud in the first place. It was supposed to be soothing. A way for Cloud to feel useful, like he had a purpose, like he was serving, without having to do much of anything. It was crucial that Genesis didn’t pay much mind to him as a person in this moment, or he was liable to draw Cloud away from his headspace. 

Because he could tell from Cloud’s breathing that he was getting foggy. His head was just barely hung. He was concentrating on being perfectly still, on keeping his back completely level. He was fighting not to let his neck arch or his back bow, not to shift his weight to one hip or the other. Because Cloud did fidget, and was having to tame the impulse now. It gave him something mindless to focus on, a task to succeed or fail at that didn’t require his full attention. He was slowly falling into a peaceful, meditative state. 

Genesis was taking his time with his meal as he watched this progress. He could imagine the glassy look in Cloud’s eyes, the hazy distance there. He was letting Cloud soak up the moment and enjoy as much of it as he could, though he normally would have been done eating by now. After a while, Genesis was left with nothing but half a glass of water he slowly sipped at while reading from his PHS. Cloud didn’t complain about the delay; if he was aware of it, he was too content for such a thing. 

Instead, he took slow, deep, even breaths and waited, feeling blissful and useful. The glass barely ever even wobbled on his back. 

Still, Genesis eventually ran out of ways to stall. He finally set one palm on Cloud’s flank as he got to his feet, watching Cloud stir faintly, his head raising. He moved the empty dishes to the table before sitting back on the floor and pulling Cloud into his lap, tucking him beneath his chin. 

“How was it?”

Cloud just breathed for a long moment before dazedly saying, “So good. I liked that. I liked helping, even if it was small. Even if it was a weird way to help.”

“Cloud,” Genesis said, his tone a light scolding. “What have we said about those value judgements and ‘should’s?”

“They don’t matter,” Cloud said quietly, as if reciting something from rote memory. “It only matters that it’s enjoyable.”

“That’s right,” Genesis praised, kissing his hair. “Maybe one day you’ll even believe it.”

Cloud made a low scoffing noise, but was too content to do anything but cuddle closer. 

“Don’t hold your breath.”

“I can be patient. When it matters.”

“Only when it matters.”

“Patience is too precious to waste on the inconsequential.”

“You just don’t like waiting.”

“That too.”


	40. Bonus Scene 4

“I’m… home?”

“Hey, Geal. How was the shift?”

“Busy, but not bad. Someone wanna explain what I’m looking at?”

“Y’know. Movie night.”

The look on Zack’s face, the shit-eating grin made it clear he knew this was not just ‘movie night.’ After all, movie nights usually included more blankets and snacks being passed around. There were, in fairness, these things—for everyone but Cloud. He seemed occupied, at the moment. 

Cloud was bound, his blue cuffs binding his ankles and wrists together, the matching collar around his neck. Neat white rope kept his arms tight behind him and his legs bound entirely together. A precisely placed piece of tape kept the controller of an audibly buzzing vibrator out of the way and attached to his hip. His cornflower blindfold was wrapped around his head and a white ball gag stretched his lips wide, but his ears were unplugged. He heard Angeal come in, and waved at him as best he could, bound as he was. Genesis patted his shoulder for his effort; he was stretched across the laps of Genesis, Sephiroth, and Zack, as they sat on the sofa. 

“Right,” Angeal said, a faint quirk to his lips. “‘Movie night.’ Has someone checked him recently?”

“Genesis checks every five minutes, you know how fussy he is,” Zack said, shoving more popcorn into his mouth. 

“Someone needs to make sure his circulation is still fine,” Genesis argued. 

“He’ll tap if he’s going numb,” Sephiroth said. “He knows he’ll be in trouble if he doesn’t.”

“He knows not to push those rules,” Zack agreed. “I’m more worried about the state of Seph’s pants.”

Angeal glanced at them to find Cloud had been leaking precum on them for quite a while, in spite of his cock ring. Sephiroth shrugged and petted Cloud’s hip. 

“I have no problem wearing the proof that he’s enjoying himself.”

Sephiroth smirked as Cloud whimpered at the words. 

“I’m sure we could squeeze together to make room for you, Angeal.”

After a pause of consideration, Angeal said, “No, thanks. I’m gonna go shower, and we should call movie night after that. Thoughts?”

“We have been here a while,” Genesis said, which was as good as agreement. The others nodded. 

“Hear that, Cloud? You’ve got until the shower turns off. Enjoy the last bit while you can,” Angeal called.

Cloud let out a displeased huff, and surely would have been scowling if the gag wasn’t in the way. He was enjoying himself, just like this. But whatever came next promised to be even better, so he nodded. 

“Good boy,” Angeal praised, just to watch Cloud shiver in pleasure at words that used to terrify him. “Be back soon.”

“Not too soon, or you’re dealing with his disappointment,” Sephiroth warned. 

Angeal laughed and headed for the stairs, saying, “I’ll take my time.”

They all heard Cloud’s content sigh as he snuggled back down to wait. 


	41. Bonus Scene 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bratty sub!genesis/angeal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a gift for Iciseria!

Genesis was particular, about a great many things. His copies of Loveless, to begin with. How he prepared food. How he treated his lovers. But not the least among them was that he was very, very particular about his own needs. 

He did not ignore them, not the way Cloud did—not habitually. He could ignore hunger if there was no convenient way to sate it. He could ignore exhaustion if there were more pressing matters. But he  _ liked _ to be comfortable in his own skin, and did not ignore his needs out of hand. 

Historically, there had been one exception. He tended to ignore his need to sub for as long as humanly possible. Not when he had been with Angeal, mind you. He had indulged often and readily then. But, afterward, when he was scrounging up doms who he did not generally click with as well, he tended to stall. When he was with Cloud alone, he had certainly stalled. He had not wanted to go outside their relationship, and as Cloud’s recent attempt proved, he wasn’t going to be dommed by Cloud any time soon. 

So he had put it off. He had stalled. He had found the urge less potent, when he was so focused on Cloud. Cloud provided for him in different ways, and that, too, helped sate his needs. When Cloud held him close and safe and whispered that he loved him, it scratched the itch to be cared for some. 

But then Angeal came back in the picture, and Zack with him. He didn’t  _ have _ to stall anymore. For a while, he had been insatiable. He had been subbing far more frequently simply because he finally had the opportunity. But then Sephiroth had returned, and everything grew complicated again. That went right back to the back burner. 

But things had settled. Their arrangement smoothed many rough edges. 

Now, instead, he was having a strange problem. It was not a problem he had often. He wasn’t sure how to  _ ask _ , and normally he never had a problem just demanding what he wanted. But he’d gone so long without, it felt strange to ask. But, after Cloud’s poor attempt at domming, he felt like he was on a timer. 

He found himself looking at the others far too long. Sephiroth was right out. He’d never let the man dom him before, and frankly, he wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable in front of him. He trusted him, with a great many things, and he had proven himself to be a caring dom with Cloud. But he and Cloud subbed very differently, and he wasn’t sure Sephiroth wouldn’t go overboard in his attempts to tame him. No, that wasn’t what he needed right now. He needed to give in without worries. Sephiroth was out. 

Zack was possible. Genesis had largely been responsible for teaching Zack about kink. They traded roles back and forth, and the fluidity was comforting. Zack tended to be game for anything, and would readily meet Genesis wherever he was. He was  _ fun _ . But Genesis didn’t need  _ fun  _ right now. He needed comfort. He needed safety. 

There was really only one option. Angeal. 

He needed someone to take control from him, patiently but surely. He needed a rock wall to throw himself against. He needed to put up a fight and be put back in his place with care. He needed a chance to  _ let go _ for just a minute. He needed to throw himself off a cliff, feel all the rush as he fell through the air, and know that he would land safely in the arms of someone who loved him. 

He found himself staring at Angeal every time they were in the same room together. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he just couldn’t force them out. He didn’t know  _ how _ . It was amazingly frustrating. He wasn’t sure if he should just demand what he wanted or try to flirt his way into it. Some grand gesture? Come up to Angeal wearing his collar and just demand it? He didn’t know, and he didn’t like not knowing. 

In the end, he didn’t make a decision at all. In the end, it went much smoother than if he had. 

Angeal had simply had enough. He caught Genesis’s eyes when Genesis was staring at him one afternoon. He marched right over and took firm grasp of Genesis’s chin. 

“What do you need?” he asked simply. Not ‘what do you want,’ but ‘what do you  _ need.’ _ Which made Genesis think Angeal knew damn well what he needed. 

In the background, Zack was watching curiously, his head tilted to one side. Cloud elbowed him and passed him a slice of toast as a distraction, perfectly aware of what was happening. 

“You,” Genesis breathed. He could almost feel his eyes dilating, his breath coming a little shallower. It was so easy to ignore Zack’s little hum of understanding in the background. 

“Bedroom, then,” Angeal said, kissing his mouth. “I’ll clean up down here.” When Genesis opened his mouth to answer, Angeal interrupted, “Pick your battles, Genesis. Remember what you really want.”

He had been ready to tell Angeal not to order him, but Angeal was right (as he annoyingly tended to be). This  _ was _ what he wanted. He sighed, but kissed Angeal. 

“Yes,  _ daddy,” _ Genesis said, his tone teasing. Angeal shot him a warning look, but the upturned corner of his mouth belied it. 

“ _ Go _ .”

Genesis chuckled but got up, already feeling lighter. 

“Have fun!” Zack called after him, and only laughed when Genesis flipped him off on his way up the stairs. 

Genesis made a few executive decisions when he got to the bedroom. The first was to get his red and gold collar, but not put it on. The second was to not undress at all, despite knowing Angeal would want him to: his first act of defiance. The third was to not get anything but the collar from the toy chest. He wanted the rest of the choices in Angeal’s hands. Let him have some creative license. He never disappointed, after all. 

Genesis sat, one leg crossed over the other, his hands folded around his upraised knee, and waited. When Angeal finally walked in, he took in Genesis’s pose, what he was wearing, what he had gotten, and the things that were absent and undone. He raised an eyebrow, and when Genesis smiled sweetly, he huffed a soft laugh. 

Angeal crossed over and sank to one knee in front of Genesis. He covered Genesis’s hands with his own. 

“A little tired of being in control all the time?” Angeal said softly. He should have known Angeal wouldn’t be able to just start without checking in. 

Genesis heaved a put-upon sigh and said, “Yes, it’s been known to happen.”

“I had been wondering. You haven’t wanted this in a while, and being so in control of Cloud now—well, it’s added stress.”

“Stress I wanted. It’s good for him, Angeal. It’s good for all of us.”

“I’m not arguing that. I’m just saying that you may need this a bit more often. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Genesis huffed and said, “I know that, Angeal.”

“Then why didn’t you ask sooner?”

“I… I wanted to. I just couldn’t get the words out.”

“That isn’t like you.”

“I know.”

“You know what I think that means?” Angeal asked, reaching up to card his hand through Genesis’s hair. 

“What’s that?”

“That you need this particularly badly right now. So,” he said, pausing to make a fist in the locks, tugging on them. “You can rail against me all you like,” he said, in the sweetest, warmest voice. “You can let out all the anger you aim at yourself for every perceived misstep. I’ll take it all, and turn it against you. I’ll break you down, piece by piece, and let you revel in being broken for however long you’d like. Then, when I put you back together, you’ll finally feel like yourself again.”

Genesis felt a smile creep over his face, a knife-edged thing that promised he would take Angeal at his word. He bared his throat to his lover as he listened. 

“Who knew you could be so eloquent when you tried?” Genesis sniped, and Angeal grinned back at him. That tone in response to those words meant the game was on. 

“Get undressed,” Angeal said. 

“Make me.”

Angeal used his grip on Genesis’s hair to fling him to the floor. He didn’t hold back because he knew Genesis didn’t  _ want _ him to hold back. There was no need for hesitation right now. He knew how Genesis liked things to go. He knew their safewords. He knew Genesis would use them if he needed them. Until he pushed too far, it was better to push hard. 

Angeal followed Genesis to the floor, straddling his hips. 

“How much do you like this outfit?” Angeal asked. 

“Don’t you dare—“

Which was not their safeword, and Genesis knew damn well that to save those clothes he had to at least say ‘yellow.’ So Angeal took the collar of Genesis’s shirt and promptly tore it down the back. He followed down the sleeves, ripping those away as well. 

“You  _ asshole _ !” Genesis snapped, which was  _ also _ not one of their safewords. 

“Last chance,” Angeal said, gripping the waistband of Genesis’s pants. 

“You son of a—“

Genesis knew how this worked. He knew what to say, if he really wanted out. Angeal shifted, planting his foot between Genesis’s shoulder blades to keep him flat, then tore his pants and underwear away, leaving him naked in a pile of fabric scraps. He adjusted again, straddling his waist this time, facing his legs. He grabbed two handfuls of Genesis’s ass and pulled them apart. 

“Are you ready to listen?”

“No! You just tore my clothes!” 

But this was all part of it. Earning Genesis’s submission. Pissing him off and then stripping his rage from him. In some ways, this seemed to be Genesis’s favorite part. Giving in to the anger that plagued him, giving him a safe outlet to work through the incandescent fire that lived and breathed just beneath his skin. 

But it was also clear that this was what he wanted. He wasn’t really fighting back, after all. He squirmed and fussed, yes, but Angeal knew what Genesis was like in a fight. He wasn’t putting his back into it. This was not what it looked like when Genesis was in too deep and forgot their safeword, either. That hadn’t happened in years, the words too familiar at this point to be lost. Until a time came where Angeal truly believed he didn’t want this, he was not about to let up. 

He gave Genesis’s ass one sharp swat before standing up. He hauled him up by the hair and then pushed him toward the bed, where he slumped against it before fighting to get his feet under him. By the time he got steady and turned to face Angeal, the collar was in Angeal’s hands, and he was wrapping it around Genesis’s throat. Genesis paused in his play-struggles, glaring but allowing the motion. 

“Are you ready to be a good pet for me?”

“Fuck off.”

Angeal hooked one finger through the loop on the front of his collar and used his free hand to slap Genesis hard. His cheek quickly turned pink in the outline of Angeal’s hand, his head snapping to the side with the blow. He turned his head back to glare at Angeal, who smiled at him. 

“Would you like to try again?”

“Eat shit.”

Angeal slapped him again on the same cheek. It flushed darker. 

“You know, most people become more obedient in their collar.”

“You know me better than that.”

“I do. Do you want to do this the easy way, or the hard way?”

“Whatever way has you fucking off.”

“Hard way it is, then.”

Angeal wound his hand back, but stopped it an inch from Genesis’s cheek. He was gratified that he still flinched. Angeal grinned, patting Genesis’s face, who scowled back at him. 

He grabbed Genesis by the hair and spun him, shoving him face first down onto the bed so he was bent at the waist. He held him down, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck as Genesis braced himself on his elbows. He didn’t have the leverage to turn and glare at Angeal, but Angeal could imagine the look in his eyes perfectly well. 

“We go until you yield,” Angeal said, slowly pulling his leather belt through the loops. The drag of leather against denim was loud in the silence he left, leaving little doubt as to what he meant. He folded the belt in half, the buckle safely in his palm where it wouldn’t do additional damage. He tapped the belt against Genesis’s bare ass meaningfully. 

“I won’t yield,” Genesis finally said. 

Angeal leaned down, pressing a kiss between Genesis’s shoulder blades. 

“You always yield eventually.”

Genesis opened his mouth to say something, but it got turned into a strangled moan when the belt met his ass. 

“Would you like to count?” Angeal asked, rubbing the reddened mark with his thumb. 

“ _ No _ .”

“Are you just being contrary?”

“ _ No.” _

“Suit yourself.”

Angeal went about slowly, methodically belting Genesis until he came apart at the seams. At first, he paused between each strike to rub his fingers over the mark he left. He aimed carefully only at the swell of Genesis’s ass, instead of the tender meeting of ass and thighs. He could take more strikes there, but they would add up over time. 

In the early stages, Genesis was loud. He hissed and cursed, squirming beneath the hand that held him steady. He shifted his weight. He uttered insults that made Angeal hit him harder next strike. 

But, as Angeal changed, so too did Genesis. Angeal stopped pausing to caress his skin, just going from hit to hit without a break. Genesis slowly, slowly fell quiet. The shifting and squirming stopped. He slowly unwound until he was relaxed against the bedspread, his head hanging low. He took his strikes quietly and without complaint. 

This was where it got tricky. Where Genesis got into this pseudo-meditative state and accepted the pain too easily. When he stopped fussing, too high off the endorphins to complain. It was fine when the final say was fully in Angeal’s hands, but made things complicated when he asked Genesis to yield. Often, he was too content with the pain, however strong, to yield. 

There were two options. Ask Genesis to yield, and he often would, once he got like this. Or, he could push him through it, until the pain overwhelmed the pleasure, simply grew too intense and he had to cave. On a normal day, he’d choose the prior. What he was usually after was Genesis’s submission, after all, and he had earned it already. But Genesis had wound himself too tight, waiting so long to ask for this to begin with. He needed to be pushed. He needed to be broken, to be cracked open. 

So Angeal continued. He pushed, and he pushed, using more force with his strikes, aiming for overlapping areas until the welts not only rose but cracked, oozing blood down Genesis’s thighs. He heard Genesis’s breath hitch softly with the strikes again. He heard him sniffle, as he grew teary.

It was only after he had started to cry in earnest that he said, his voice choked, “I yield.”

Angeal dropped the belt immediately, releasing the back of Genesis’s neck. He sat on the bed and scooped Genesis into his lap, holding him close and petting his hair as he shushed him. 

“You did so well,” Angeal said. “You held out so long. I’m so proud of you.”

Genesis hid his face in Angeal’s neck, sobbing softly. Angeal continued smoothing his hair and holding him tight, praising him in a low voice until Genesis finally quieted. 

This, Angeal let happen on Genesis’s terms. He didn’t rush him through the emotions, through the highs and lows. He waited until Genesis pressed a kiss to his throat. Then he hummed low, as Genesis shifted, straddling his lap to kiss him properly, both of them heedless of how he stained Angeal’s jeans with blood. Genesis kissed him sweetly, with deference at first. When Angeal nipped at his bottom lip, though, he moaned, and when Angeal grabbed his hips he rolled them deliberately. 

“What do you think, pet? Something a little different, now?” Angeal said, his tone still low and soothing. 

“Yes please,” Genesis said, sweeter than he most ever was. They had broken through that barrier, now. Sometimes Genesis needed a bit of rough handling to get there, particularly after denying himself this release for too long, but it was nothing Angeal didn’t know how to handle. 

“On your back, up by the pillows, then,” Angeal said, patting a less injured part of Genesis’s already-healing ass. 

He watched fondly as Genesis scrambled off his lap to go comply. He went to their toy chest to grab his matching red cuffs and a bottle of lube from the nightstand, tossing both to the bed by Genesis’s hip. He undressed quickly, folding his clothes and dropping them on the floor in a haphazard pile. 

He climbed onto the bed and shuffled his way to where Genesis was lying in the center of it. 

“Wrists,” Angeal said, holding a hand out as the other picked up one of the cuffs. 

“Yes, daddy,” Genesis said, and Angeal had to fight the urge to shiver, finally getting his title with some respect from Genesis for the first time that afternoon. Genesis’s eyes were twinkling when he looked up, but Angeal knew that was joy at pleasing, more than it was teasing. He smiled fondly up at him, leaning up to kiss him before going about attaching the cuffs to his wrists. 

He carefully attached the clips of each cuff to the ring that dangled down onto Genesis’s throat forcing him to keep his hands held by his collarbone, unable to move them much without ripping the cuffs. It was a testament to Genesis’s headspace that he didn’t even huff at the limitation, just blinked placidly and smiled, tugging just a hair at the cuffs. Angeal smiled down at him, kissing him softly. He then hitched one of Genesis’s legs into the crook of his elbow before pouring some lube onto the fingers of his free hand. He ran one slick finger back and forth over Genesis’s hole, listening to his breath hitch. 

“What do we say?” Angeal prompted, his voice low and personal. 

“Please, daddy.”

“There’s my good boy,” Angeal praised, before sinking a finger into Genesis. 

He slid it in and out a few times, slowly, testing the waters. He then began curling his finger, exploring, looking for the right spot. 

“Daddy,” Genesis breathed, his eyes wide, and that was how he knew he had found the right spot. 

Angeal rubbed his finger back and forth over that spot inside him, watching Genesis shiver and leak against his belly. 

“Are you going to keep being good for me?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Even if I want to keep you here, on the edge, for however long I want?” Angeal asked, despite knowing ‘on the edge’ was a bit generous. Genesis was getting there, but not quite that close yet. It was more about the promise of keeping him there when he truly got there. 

Genesis whined softly, but still whispered, “Yes, daddy.”

Angeal slipped a second finger inside and stroked over his prostate, listening to him moan as he leaned down and kissed him. 

“My good boy,” he said against Genesis’s lips. He looked down to Genesis’s brow pinch as he nodded. He always was beautiful when he finally gave in. Angeal smiled and kissed him again. 

He continued rubbing relentlessly against Genesis’s prostate until he was up to three fingers, and Genesis was open enough for him. 

“What do you think, pet? Are you ready for me?”

“Yes,” Genesis breathed, his eyes slotting open to look desperately up at Angeal. “ _ Please _ .”

Angeal smiled fondly at him, saying, “How could I ever say no when you ask so nicely?”

Genesis smiled dazedly up at him as Angeal slicked his cock. He rubbed the tip lazily over Genesis’s entrance. 

“Breathe,” Angeal reminded, because it would still be a bit of a stretch. Genesis nodded, and he began pushing slowly inside. 

Genesis tossed his head back and moaned, his hair tousling against the pillow. His hands made helpless fists where they were bound, unable to hold onto anything despite Genesis’s clear longing to. Angeal hitched Genesis’s leg higher, tilting his hips up to get a better angle, to reach deeper before he finally bottomed out. His free hand grabbed Genesis’s hip, rubbing little circles into the bone there as he waited for him to catch his breath. It took all his focus just to wait, to not fuck into the tight, wet heat around him, but he knew Genesis needed a moment. He could give him that. He  _ could _ have restraint. 

Genesis slowly, slowly caught his breath, fighting to relax, to open up for him. Finally, he was as relaxed as he was going to get, and met Angeal’s gaze again. He nodded. 

“Please, daddy.”

Angeal smiled, a little out of breath himself from the effort of holding himself back, and began to move. His hips rolled slowly and inexorably, like the tide, pulled by a moon he had no control over. It was all he could do to keep his pace slow and steady. 

“Faster?” Genesis tried, and Angeal laughed, warm and breathless. 

“Wait, pet.”

“Please?”

“Don't be greedy,” Angeal laughed. 

He picked up the pace in his own time. Partially, it was to give Genesis’s ass a chance to heal. There would be other days, where he would plow into Genesis’s sore ass, making it sting as bad as the blows had. But he had already given Genesis exactly as much pain as he had intended. Now it was time for pleasure, and that alone. He could control Genesis as well with one as he could the other, and all that mattered right now was that he stayed in control. It was his decision, after all, how this went. And he didn’t have the heart, today, to truly tear Genesis apart, not when it wasn’t necessary. 

By the time his hips were slapping into Genesis’s, his backside was healed enough to take the rough treatment. He moaned loudly for it, his hands moving constantly. He wanted to hold onto something, he wanted to touch, but that limitation was part of all of it. The denial that he submitted to—because he could certainly rip the cuffs, if he set his mind to it. Instead, he ended up clasping his hands together, holding them together tightly, and it was clearly not as satisfying as he would have liked.

It did, however, make it look like he was praying, offset nicely by how he kept whimpering, “Please, please,” over and over. The image he made was one Angeal would be pulling up with one hand around himself for quite a while. 

Still, Angeal felt himself starting to get close as he chased his own pleasure in Genesis’s warmth. He pulled his free hand from where he’s been holding Genesis steady by the hip to begin stroking him, and the sound he gave could only be described as a keen. 

Genesis began babbling, saying very much but absolutely nothing sensible, just an endless stream of, “Please,  _ please _ , oh,  _ Goddess _ ,  _ daddy _ , yes!”

This constant stream of nothings was how Angeal knew he was close, though there were plenty of other tells in how his body tensed and trembled. Genesis was talkative on a good day, but it especially came out when he subbed. 

“Go on, then,” Angeal said, when he knew Genesis would have no choice but to listen. “Come for me.”

Genesis heaved one great, pleasured sob and did just that, his hands reaching up as if to cover his face before they were cut off by the cuffs. He moaned, long and loud as he shook, his hands making helpless fists as he shot up his own chest. Angeal pounded into him harder, swiping his fingers through the mess and stuffing them into Genesis’s mouth, who moaned at the taste, despite coming down from his high. 

“You see how good your pleasure tastes?” Angeal said, his voice rough. Genesis nodded vigorously, sucking hard at Angeal’s fingers. 

Angeal pressed his fingers far into Genesis’s mouth, until they brushed the back of his throat and he gagged. 

“Ah,  _ fuck _ ,” Angeal swore, finally coming inside Genesis at the feeling of how he tightened as he gagged. 

He thrust forward a few last times, chasing the last few beats of pleasure, before he let out a deep, shaky sigh. He withdrew his fingers and wiped his hand lazily on the bedsheets before lowering Genesis’s leg and pulling himself free. He went to grab tissues from the nightstand to clean Genesis up, unclipping his cuffs from his collar before he got to work. 

Genesis sighed happily before stretching his arms above his head and his legs below him until his toes pointed, groaning at the stretch. Angeal smiled and rolled his eyes, waiting for the stretch to be done so he could part Genesis’s legs again and clean him up. He tossed the used tissues lazily at the trash can, not much caring if he missed. When Genesis was clean, he went about methodically undoing his cuffs and collar and setting them on the nightstand, knowing Genesis did not like to wear them through aftercare the way Cloud did. 

When he was done, he lay on his back against the pillows, pulling Genesis toward his chest where he curled up, pillowing his head on one pec. Genesis shut his eyes as Angeal pulled his long hair out of the way so he could rub his back. 

“How do you feel?” Angeal asked, keeping his voice low and soft. 

“Mm, sore and pleasantly achey. Just how I like it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You know, we haven’t talked about what to do about moments like these.”

“Moments like what?”

“When I see you waiting longer than you should. I let you go longer than I should have. Should I have stepped in sooner?”

“Dearest, I’m just glad you stepped in at all.”

“You aren’t Cloud, though. You don’t like being told what to do all the time.”

“I don’t. But, much like Cloud, I occasionally need to be reminded to make the right choices. If you see me waiting too long, feel free to try. You know that if I don’t want to, I’ll just tell you no.”

Angeal leaned down to kiss Genesis’s hair. 

“Alright. You’re free to tell me to fuck off, if you want.”

“I know, love.”

“I love you very much, you know that?”

Genesis paused to look up at him with a smile. 

“I do, but I adore hearing you say it.”

“Maybe I need to say it more often.”

“Maybe you do.”

“I love you.”

Genesis sighed happily, leaning up to kiss Angeal, as he said, “I’ll never tire of hearing it. I love you too, Angeal.”


End file.
